So, there you are...

23 Dec 2020

08:30 hrs

     Good morning Dear Readers! As you know I'm not a person who gives two shits about stars, starlets, media personalities, professional sports stars, politicians and the like especially when they are fawned upon and elevated on a pedestal because of their position. More like they should be hoisted on their own petard if you ask me. What does interest me is the connection between people, the back story as it were. And sometimes this back story may be insignificant but it is interesting nonetheless. 

      Seven years ago this Christmas season I was driving back to the Wayward Inn after shopping downtown. It was around noon and I was listening to the local FM station. The radio host was a bit of a card, as some of them could be. He said that after the break he would be speaking to the Premier (on air) and was going to ask her about her plans for the Holidays. Sounds innocent enough. Now, if you are not from the Left Coast you wouldn't know who the Premier was at that time. She was a single mom whose political stripe was in the centre of the spectrum and she was considered by many to be quite attractive despite some of her political decisions. 

     So, the DJ comes back on after the break. He plays a couple of songs and then announces that he has the Premiere on the line. He asks her if she has any holiday wishes that she would like to pass along and she does. Straight up, he asks if she would answer a few questions from some local listeners and she says she would be pleased to do so. 

     From Bill in the Valley, "What will your Christmas holidays will entail?" And she replied in general terms about how she and her son will spend their time.

     Next from Debbie in the Wild Wild West, "Is there going to be additional funding in next years budget to assist the local Residentially Challenged Persons?" And, Madame Premier jumped on this softball question like a fat kid on a Smartie saying that she was certainly looking forward to working with the Loyal Opposition to find such funds even if it means to curtail some other project but in the near future....blah, blah, blah.

     And lastly, from John out in Redneck Holler, "How does it feel to be considered to be a MILF?" To which there was a short pause before she laughingly said "Well I'd rather be a MILF than a cougar!"

     Wow! I almost ditched the truck when I heard that over the radio. As far as I knew this wasn't pre-recorded and had gone out live. Supposedly, the questions had been sent in and the DJ had just picked three at random. I thought the whole thing was funny as hell. Unfortunately,  the station manager, and quite possibly the owners of a very huge network did not. Especially, when the very derogatory term of MILF was spoken over the airwaves. The very next day there was an announcement from the station that DJ had been removed from the lineup, that the entire line of questions was made up by him, that he has apologized to the listeners and to the Premier. 

      And with that the DJ disappeared. He was no longer at this station and I'm sure that was truly sorry for his little stunt. On her part the Premiere was not happy that she was scammed but was actually tickled that she was considered to be a MILF. Okay, then.

     So here I am, seven years after this incident, listening to a rock radio station from the big city on the mainland and this DJ's voice and handle - many radio personalities do not use their real name on air - sounds distantly familiar. I do a little bit of research and sure enough I was correct. The DJ known as Drex on 96.9 Jack FM Vancouver is the same guy who was working at the local Corus Network station. According to the bio after his big faux pas the network moved him to another network station - the Corus entertainment network has 39 stations in eight of the top ten markets - and held him in late night purgatory until now. What choice did he have? Stay with this network and accept his punishment or look for work outside his chosen field because nobody else in the industry was going to touch him with a ten foot pole.

     Well Kidlettes,  I would, on behalf of all of us at the Wayward Inn, like to will wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Please be safe. Remember that the Beer Flu is real, even in the Redneck province next door,  so pay attention to the guidelines and do your part. Eventually,  we as a nation will get through this and if you have any doubts about it just take a look at the Hugh-ess. They are losing over 3,300 people per day. That's the same as one 9/11 tragedy ever 24 hours. And it could have been curtailed if only they had the political leadership and honesty right from the start!

Switching Channels

15 Dec 20

17:30 hrs

     Hello Dear Readers,  

     Today is the Sage's 58th Anniversary.           So, here's to them! Congrats. On another note...

     I don't know if you put much stock in your local radio station especially with the advent of all the radio stations being available on your cable subscriber and an app for your phone. Here in the Valley we have two radio stations plus a repeater up on the mountain that relays the national station. The national station is great for the news (and some other programming) and in my opinion only one of the two local stations is worth tuning into. This particular station has flipped its call sign several times in the last dozen years while the other simply plods along. Now, if your vehicle has a half decent antenna you can pull in stations from River City, Hub City and The Pearl of the Left Coast. And these are the ones I can get from here in the Valley with the Ram. My Better Half's car, mmmm not so much. Maybe because its lower to the ground it doesn't catch all that many boomatrons. 

     Like anyone who is my age I have my favourite stations programmed on my vehicle's radio. Buttons one through six. (Take note that I will be referring to the music that I like and so please do not be offended if it is not your kind of music.) In fact, this has nothing really to do with music. It has more to do with what is annoying and how to easily remove the annoyance. So, buttons one through six. Button one is set for the national channel for news at the top of the hour. Button two is for the better of the two (in my opinion) local stations - the one with a dominant presence, a healthy drive crew and a good mix of music. Buttons three through six are similar to Button two but are set for other reception areas that are increasingly farther away from the Valley. This gives me the ability to readily change stations and still listen to what I like while cutting out what i don't like. I, like everyone of you my Dear Readers, enjoy some musical groups and loathe others. Their names are not important but what is important is the flexibility that we, as operators, to remove the annoyance that can impede the pleasure of commanding our motor vehicles. This is the truth, is it not? Imagine you are driving down the highway humming along to one of your faves blaring out of the speakers when the next song is from a band whose rhythm method sends your heart into an immediaye arrhythmia. The specific part could be the lead singers voice, the twanging of the guitar, the fact that it is a shitty cover of an original or the beat has been stolen and recorded. It could be the entire genre or the fact that the artist/band/group does not actually play any actual instruments - heat box techno-crap really turns me off. What ever the causation it's great to know that with the simple push of a button you can easily continue to listen to what pleases you.

     

Are they gone?

09 Dec 20

20:45 hrs

     We've sent ours out have you?

     Christmas cards. Have you sent yours out? Do you send any out? I remember when just after I got hitched to my Better Half we were sending out eighty or ninety cards. As time went on we both realized that we had lost contact with some individuals and so the list was shortened. It leveled off at about sixty cards for a dozen years or so but in the past three years it has dropped to about thirty cards as people have known have passed away. Another set of people were dropped of the card list when we noticed that we had sent cards to them and had no returns in the past couple of years. Gone!

      For four years I had given my co-worker a card and a pony sized bottle of some traditional Christmas coffee fixings. Not even a card with a coffee house gift card in return. He's off the list, too.

12 Dec 20

07:45 hrs

     We went out looking at lights last night. A gentle drive through some of the more festive neighborhoods. There is a local Facebook page that identifies where the best lit streets are. I think I the next time we go out to one of these places I will stop and take some pictures to show you what they are like. Some of them are nearing Griswold in their brilliance.

     Last week we were on a mission of mercy to River City.  One of our friends was confined to her workplace due to the Beer Flu. We drove up and took her a care package. On the way up I noticed that the work on roadway in front of where my Lobster's Travelling Relatives used to live is almost completed. The work includes widening the road bed, putting in safe crossings for pedestrians and more importantly a decorative divided roadway.. this work had started about five klicks back. Now it's up to the Big Boulder. There are more giant rabbit hutches going in too. I would almost hazard a guess that River City is growing faster than the Valley. 

13:00 hrs

     Chef Blaine has tried his hand at baking some homemade butter tarts. The pastry turned out fine as did the batter. But there was more tarts than batter so he made some in lieu batter and spooned it on top of some of the shallow tarts. Not smart. I think it may have burned. At any rate, it will be a bitch to clean off. For supper he has some strip loin steaks marinating in a Korean type sauce. Except for the Oma-nators steak. It is seasoned with a little pepper, paprika and cumin. Sous Irene is making potatoes au gratin. Or, as the majority of the Great White North calls it: scalloped potatoes. Chef Blaine will make a spiralized butternut squash as well. Loin Fruit Number Two will have to look for his own protein source.

     I saw in one of the scandal rags that the sniper troops of the Great White North are going to get some new rifles. Designated the C20 and chambered for 7.62 mm some 280 rifles (and spare parts) for 8 million and change. It works out to about 31K per rifle, which is insane. Of course the Feds had to pay for the research and development.

17:00 hrs

     The Tangerine Tyrant has been voted out. The Electoral College votes on Monday to confirm what everyone already knows, in that the Orange Shit Gibbon lost big time and yet he continues spend millions of dollars pursuing these insane lawsuits in some attempt to have the legal voting results overturned. In the meantime the number of people out of work in the Hugh-ess due to the Beer Flu is increasing daily to the point that food banks around their country are seeing a 10x or 20x increase. Just think about that as Christmas approaches.

     The nights are still getting longer. The 21st of the month mark's the shortest day and longest night. Occasionally on the Left Coast we have some days that are sunny enough to recharge the solar lights strung on the gazebo over the Flame Pit. When we do have a day clear of heavy clouds we can see the accumulation of snow on the Beauforts. It looks great on the mountains but not on the Valley floor.

     

Too much & Too soon

22 Nov 20

17:38 hrs

     Hello Dear Readers, 

I need to express an opinion and I would really like an answer. Here goes... Do you think that there is too much holiday creep happening? Holiday creep is when the stores, especially the big box stores, have the Valentine's stuff out for sale two days after New Years and the Easter specific items out for sale on February 17th, the new school supplies are available by the Nation's birthday and by the time the Yard Apes are back in school the Halloween crap is out which means the Christmas ads will be aired before Remembrance Day. 

     Here at the Wayward Inn we don't start putting up the Christmas lights until after Remembrance Day and the tree doesn't go up until the beginning of December with all of it coming down around the first weekend in January. If these actions take place outside of this time frame the Holiday Creep will have invaded our home.  And where would it stop? Leave the tree up so the Easter Bunny can hid his chocolate eggs under it? 

25 Nov 20

04:30 hrs

     It's a month to Christmas and the Left Coast government has imposed more Beer Flu restrictions on the province.  Here at the Wayward we have always taken this shit pretty seriously but as we went about our daily business you could see many who just didn't get it...until they got it.  Some individual who are just tired of the whole mask thing and in fact one grocery store in the southern interior has had to hire a security officer for the first time in nearly half a century. Not for the shoplifters but to ensure the idiots wear their masks when they come into the store.

     I'm sure, Dear Readers, that you are aware that the Tangerine Tyrant is on his way out and a Breath of Fresh Air is on his way in. Of course the outgoing POTUS is beginning a scorched earth policy of destroying anything he can think of to make life even more difficult for the incoming POTUS and for the Hugh-ess citizens who didn't vote for him but more importantly who voted against him. Some cartoonist did a great piece displaying the Tangerine Tyrant as an infant throwing a tantrum, which wasn't too difficult to imagine, and with the president elect putting him over his knee, which would be wishful thinking.

     Did you know that you can actually use liquid dish detergent to was your clothes? It turns out the chemical make up of laundry soap and dish soap are pretty much the same except for the foaming agent in dish detergent, which is probably added to show that there is soap in the water. One teaspoon for a small load, two for a medium and three for a large. 

21:00 hrs

     I just realized that there is another Holiday Creep item that is rearing its ugly head and that is the constant ad nauseam stream of Holiday Baking/Cake Decorating/Cookie Pressing/Gingerbread House building that is sprouting on the food specialty networks. Couple that with the sickenly sappy sweet plotless Hallmark Holiday movies and you have a perfect means of torture those who cannot change the channel. Too much Holiday Magic Too Soon could just about drive a person to drink!

     Speaking of drinking ... I give you

     The Velvet Hammer

     in a large brandy snifter on ice mix

     1 1/2 oz vodka 

     1 1/2 oz Irish cream

     1 oz kahlua 

     3 oz milk

     A dear friend of ours who resides in Hub City has been fighting the Big C for a number of years now and it is doubtful that she will make it beyond The Holidays. Her husband used to work with my Better Half in The Peg. Their kids are living and working in the Hugh-ess so coming up here would mean isolating for two weeks on this side of the border. Due to the enhanced Beer Flu restrictions that the government has put in place it will be very unlikely that we will be able to attend her funeral, when and if it happens, and we would be unable to comfort and assist her surviving spouse until the infection rate drops significantly. 

     I have heard through the grapevine that the new Rabbit Warren being built is supposed to have 175 units. That's a crazy amount. Some of the established neighbours have already checked out the building plans that were filed with the town and they are pretty pissed because the identification does not provide for enough parking. This means any second vehicle would probably have to park elsewhere 

     There's another hutch going up by the Big Giant Box Store and another down near the Queens Cowboys office. Of course they will be four stories and no more since the planners in City Hall are afraid overly tall buildings will blot out the sun and tip over as the earth tilts on its axis. But at least there is some new housing going in. No word on how many will be priced for lower income, ie students looking for their first apartment. My Lobster thinks there will be eight units which isn't even ten percent.

     

Winter is Coming!

16 Nov 20

06:00 hrs

     The weather has certainly turned here on the Left Coast. The temperature has dropped, the winds have picked up and the volume of precipitation has increased ad well. Most of the decidous trees have lost their leaves,  of course the non-native trees that the developer had planted throughout the neighborhood are still clinging to their foliage. This particular species of tree buds out it leaves in late spring and discards them in late fall early winter. It's not a big deal really except that we can get an early snowfall, which is usually wet and heavy and any tree that is still hang in on to its leaves could soon be losing limbs.

18:00 hrs

     We have snow! 

     Wet slushy snow! In fact, by the time morning rolls around it will be plus 9C and the rain will have washed the snow away.

18  Nov 20

14:45 hrs

     As I had predicted by the time my Lobster and I had departed for the Salt Mines the snow was pretty much gone. But this didn't mean the weather was any better. The rain continued to fall and the winds increased. At times it was gusting to 75 knots. It didn't take long before the contractors decided to pull the pin. I was at work for almost three hours. Got paid for four. 

     Last night our Sr. Loin Fruit made a parsnip and mustard soup. The recipe came from the Souplology cookbook we gave him for his birthday. He followed the recipe and it turned out pretty good. I liked it, my Better Half tried it (which saying something) and the Oma-nator wanted to try it but couldn't as she was suspicious of the ingredients - there could have been an onion in it.

     The election in the Hugh-ess carried out two weeks ago today and eventhough the number clearly show that the former VP won both the popular vote and the electoral college the Tangerine Tyrant has refused to concede. Instead Putin's Norte Americano representative is carrying out his own scorched earth policy by firing all dissenters and creating as much chaos for the incoming administration. Never fear, as entertaining as the election was the troubles facing the Tangerine Tyrant after he has been escorted out of the White House will be the icing on the cake. I can't wait.

     I just caught something on the box that Chef Blaine will have to try to duplicate. Banana Habanero sauce. The ultimate heat and sweet. Maybe on chicken wings?

     I am hoping that the weather this weekend is going to be half decent. I have asked my Friend From Over the Hump to accompany me to retrieve the trail cameras we put out a month ago. It will be interesting to see how long the batteries lasted and if anything interesting was caught on the camera. There is also an extra area that I would like to check out. Of course this is all subject to the road conditions. The area is at a higher elevation and if there is too much snow we'll turn around and come home. Wish us luck.

It's Finally OVER!...sort of

07 Nov 20

08:45 hrs 

     Well, it's all over but the crying. Its been four days since the general election in the Hugh-ess and finally, after doing a whole shitload of higher math number crunching one of the major news outlets determined that there is not enough votes for the Tangerine Tyrant to catch and surpass the former VP. As such, the former VP is going to be the 46th President Elect. And now for the crying.... The first person that I saw crying over this was an African American political commentator who was so overjoyed that a rational person of truth and decency has been elected to replace the vindictive poisonous self serving puss bag who has occupied the WH for the past four years. Oh, there will be a large number of blind bars who will believe the false rhetoric pushed forward by the Tangerine Tyrant and his Sycophants. My only concern is that in the days to come these Right Wing Radicals will unload their weapons and leave them at home. For some reason I think the new Prez had better get a handle on things pretty quick because the Tangerine Tyrant's has been pushing the notion that his loss would indicate that the election was rigged and stolen out from under him. For the RW militia groups this is like a call to arms! I do know of some individuals in the Hugh-ess and in the Great White North who, for some unknown reason, fervently suppory the Tangerine Tyrant. From what I have learned the Tangerine Tyrant is currently playing Whackdammit! Go figure.

08 Nov 20

08:00 hrs

     It hasn't even been twenty-four hours and already the new President Elect, who hasn't even been sworn into office, is putting together a group of scientists and medical professionals to formulate a series of directives that will lead the Hugh-ess out of the Beer Flu. Good on him!

13:45 hrs

     If you have check any Hugh-ess national news outlets they have reported that countries around the world have stated that the removal of the Tangerine Tyrant is akin to an awakening from a four year coma and people from India to Europe to Africa to the Great White North are rejoicing over the election results. Only in the Hugh-ess are there individuals who are angry about the loss. Well, that's enough of that shit.

     My Lobster baked some cheddar and jalapeno scones, I baked some peanut butter cereal cookies and together we reboxed the Halloween decorations. Over by our local grocery store there has been a partially developed lot that has sat partially developed for the past eight years. It was supposed to be more housing - patio homes or something  - but finally construction has finally restarted. I believe it will be a multi-storey mixed purpose - commercial and residential  - kind of set up. All I know is things will be a lot busier at the grocery store. 

     The weather here in the Valley has been cold and windy for most of the past week with the wind blowing out of the north making it quite nippy out. Not anywhere near as nippy as it got out on the tarmac in Winterpeg where it often dropped to below -40°C. When I hear people griping about the cold here on the Left Coast I smile and remember how cold I would get loxing a couple of aircraft in the middle of a prairie winter.

     One last note. The host of the Hugh-ess tv game show Jeopardy has passed away from the Big C. He had hosted the show since 1984 and was a originally from the Great White North. 

Spots!

30 Oct 20

06:15 hrs

     Spots! You got any? I've got three.

     My neighbor in The 'Peg would shout this at me over the noise of the lawn mower. It was a means to throw me off my guard. He was just a harmless retired schoolteacher who looked at the world from a different perspective. He passed away from cancer some years after we had moved. Since we got married my Better Half has always cut my hair and she does a great job. After my last hair cut I looked in the mirror and noted a couple of changes. On a close inspection I think that my forehead may be growing longer, which is not too bad since a large number of my peers are now sporting a chrome dome. I'm far from that stage but interestingly enough my shaved pate has revealed a brown spot (an age spot?) near my left temple. Don't worry Dear Readers there's no hair sprouting from it and it is not an irregular shape.

     Are you ready for Halloween? It will certainly be different this year with the Beer Flu still going around. In the Golden Horseshoe the Spooky Celebration has been put on hold this year and kids are being told to stay at home in an effort to prevent further spreading of the infection. Every little bit helps. Over in the Big Pearl the City Council has declared that this will be the final year for the sale of pyrotechnics within the city limits. This may not be such a bad idea because just about every night some local yokels have been launching rockets near the Wayward Inn. They may think it's all fun and games but its scaring the crap out of dogs and old people. 

     If you have been keeping count there is only a few more days left before the citizenry of the Hugh-ess casts their ballots in the biggest decision in their lifetime. So far the voting prior to next Tuesday has already been taking place in earnest with millions of ballots being cast. Although the all polls clearly show that the reign of the Tangerine Tyrant will soon come to an end he has continued his rhetoric on refusing any election results that point to his loss. Unless he wins it will be all Fake News. The biggest issue with this is the fact that the armed faction of his Sycophants is already looking for an excuse to "Secure thie rights and freedoms from those who would curtail them". I've said it before and I'll say it again the outcome of this election could easily result in the Hugh-ess Civil War 2.0 and the Great White North will have a ring side seat from our side of the 49th Parallel. 

13:00 hrs

     We're watching the L'il Shop of Horrors. I'm not one for musicals. At least it's funny.

     I spotted some new digs in The City. Someone developed two lots and placed four duplex townhouses, so eight new residences. They're not finished quite yet and I figure they'll fetch half a mill each.

31 Oct 20

06:15 hrs

     Happy Halloween Kidlettes!

     The Ram has to go in to the shop this morning. The headlight switch is screwing up and if I wasn't paying attention I could set it in the off position and the lights would still be on resulting in a long term battery test.

     Due to the Beer Flu we have no idea how many costumed yard apes we will have begging for candy tonight at the Wayward Inn. The littlest ones normally show up at about 17:00 and by 21:00 we are out of treats. Last year we had about two hundred kids. At least that's what my Better Half says. I don't really keep track of these things because when the candy bowl is empty the lights get turned off.

     I recently purchase a "Lest We Forget" poppy flag from the Legion's online kit shop. There was a neighbour down the street from us who had one and I thought that it would be a gentle reminder to those who drove past the Wayward Inn to maybe reflect on where this country came from and where it is going. Did you know that membership to the Legion is open to everyone and not just ex-service members? Membership to the local Airforce Association is limited to past and current airforce personnel. My Lobster had suggested that we join but after attending several functions as guests I soon learned that the majority of the members were all aircrew. I had been welcomed in as a potential candidate until it was discovered that I had been just a technician. That's it, I'm done!

The Battle is almost over.

22 Oct 20

05:00 hrs

     A huge Happy Birthday to my L'il Sis. She was born on our Grandpa's birthday. I won't tell you how old she is but i will tell you that she's two years younger than me and according to the Couch Monkeys I'm old. You figure it out. She's still living in Cowtown, where I heard they have snow but that's okay because she says it hides the dirt.

     The Beer Flu is still cycling through the Great White North. In many provinces the number of infections has risen daily and much more so in those provinces that tried to open their economies too quickly or allowed a greater number of people to gather together and most certainly in places where morons refused to wear masks and practice social distancing. But when you look at the numbers we are no where near the insanity south of the 49th Parallel. As of this writing we have had 206,000 cases and 9,829 deaths and in the Hugh-ess they have had 8,338,413 cases and 222,220 deaths. The numbers are truly staggering. The Hugh-ess has ten times our population but 40x the number of infections and 22x the number of deaths. What is even more staggering is that this First World country which claims to have the best medical system in the world has roughly 1/5 of the global infections and deaths.

     For your entertainment this evening I offer you the final presidential debate between the Tangerine Tyrant and an Olde Boot. I'm pretty sure that this one won't be such the shit show the first one was because the moderator has a mute button to squelch out anyone who doesn't have the common decency to keep his gums from flapping when it's not his turn to talk, Mr. President. I may not get to watch it live but I'm recording it just for a giggle.

     The other day my friend The Big Swede was out for a drive in The Weeds with his friends The Kirks. They were enjoying all the Nature Porn some 12 klicks off pavement when they spotted a domestic house cat. There was no good reason for Miss Kitty being this far from civilization so they rescued and routed her to the nearest SPCA. 

23 Oct 20

20:00 hrs

     The week is done and tomorrow is the grand adventure. When we're out driving around the Oma-nator will spot some house that may be 40 yards off the highway surrounded by trees. Inevitably her comment is "How can someone live all the way out in the bush like that!" For Heaven's sake you could throw a beer bottle from the front porch and hit the road of it wasn't for the trees! So tomorrow my Friend from over The Hump and his Lobster are going Out in the Weeds with me, my Better Half and with the Oma-nator riding shotgun. We're heading out to the expedition area to set up three trail cameras. I'll leave them for a month to take one photo every 30 seconds during daylight hours. They'll be placed on the perimeter of a big field so if something big, upright  and hairy amble across the field of view we'll see it.

Happy Turkey Day from the Sage's Place!

12 Oct 20

07:30 hrs

     Hello Dear Readers!

     Last Thursday I departed from the Wayward Inn at 0h Dark 30 and headed for the boat in Hub City. I landed on the other side at 0800 and headed for the Interior. When I stopped in Faith to top off the Ram I had only used a quarter of a tank and then I headed through the Coke to the Sage's. The driving distance on The Rock and on the mainland is about 610 km. Whe I arrived at the Sage's I checked the Ram's on board trip 'puter and I was surprised to learn my fuel consumption was 11.2 Lt/100km. That's 25 mpg. Outstanding!

     Since my arrival I have completed a plethora of chores around the Homestead. Sharpen knives, clear water lines, fix doors and latches, retrieve and install stuff.  

     Yesterday guests, the local Aunt and Uncle along with my L'il Sis (from another mother) and her husband Two-Bob, came for the holiday feast. Turkey with all the trimmings, cabbage rolls, smashed potatoes, salad, veggies and a butternut squash casserole. An amazing meal. 

15 Oct 20

00:05 hrs

     One chore left for tomorrow and then I pack for the trip back to The Rock. More to come.

08:15 hrs

     I have a game plan as to loading the Ram for the trip back to The Rock. Later this afternoon my books and odds will be stowed on the back seat. A lunch for the road will be made. The Road Tar and the regular coffee for the thermos will be prepped as well. I'll shower, change into fresh clothes this evening and then those bags can be packed as well. All of this work falls under the axiom - Fail to plan. Plan to fail! 

     Yesterday, my Lobster shared a picture of some new bottle our Sr. Couch Monkey purchased. Sheep Dog Peanut Butter Whiskey. Sounds like something that has been squirted out of the north end of a south bound basset hound. And you just know that when I get back to the Wayward Inn he will be insisting that I try it. If he asks I will take one just for you Dear Readers. May God have pity on me.

A Side Note!

03 Oct 20

19:45 hrs

     If you have been following the goings on at the Wayward Inn you will recall that we had a foreign student, The Onion, who resided with us for some time. This past spring she went back to India at her mother's request. We found out today that her mom  her dad and her brother all have the Beer Flu. We are worried about her as Indian households are usually multi-generational on their make-up which means no matter how hard you try this virus will spread. We wish The Onion is safe and secure in this time of crisis.

Adventure Day!

03 Oct 20

07:15 hrs

     It has been a long week for me. Eleven hour plus days for the entire week. Great for the paycheck but it wears the hell out of you. Especially when you're old as I am.

10:15 hrs

     We are taking the Oma-nator on an adventure. There are four of us in the Ram. My Lobster and the Jr. Loin Fruit are in the back seat while the Oma-nator is riding shotgun. We are on the Salish Eagle making our way over the salt chuck to the Left Coast Highway Trailhead. You can actually start at that point and drive all the way down the left Coast of North America from the Great White North through the Hugh-ess and down through Sleepy Sombrero. When get to the other side we will race farther north to a bakery that has sticky buns the size of a babies head!.

14:00 hrs

     We have already travelled to Nancy's Bakery at the End of the Road where everybody indulged their sweet tooth. While noshing a couple walked by with a pair of odd looking dogs. I asked our group if they knew what kind dogs they were. The Jr. Loin Fruit said that they were called Domesticated Western Land Otters. On the way back to our Landing Point we cruised through the original streets and marvelled at the wide streets and old trees. We are at a museum at the Landing Point. 

16:15 hrs

     We're waiting for the vessel to carry us back across the strait. We had gone for a short walkabout in this struggling metropolis. Bookstores, tea shops and local charcuterie were all targets. My Lobster and the Jr. Loin Fruit hit up two book stores. I was later informed that the first was a death trap waiting to happen. Everything stacked in piles on the floor and sideways on shelves and in no semblance of order. The other was the standard organized bookstore and was therapeutic - found a hard copy first edition of Serpico by Peter Maas. I took a long walk to a meat shop only to find that it had closed ten minutes before I had arrived. Oh well, the walk did me good. While I was gone the Oma-nator and my Better Half witnessed an impaired individual stagger down the sidewalk and commit reverse peristalsis three times. Shortly thereafter, I came strolling along without a care in the world and spotted the ochre coloured splashes at the last second which was just enough time moon shuffle waltz through the mine field.

     

Happy Anniversary blog

23 Sep 20

19:30 hrs

     My Lobster and I are currently relaxing in B&B in Capital City. We have a wonderful view of the harbour and the rain is now beginning to fall. Across the water from us we can see the CCGS John Cabot. It's one of three new CCGS vessels built at a shipyard across the Strait. Of course being a CCGS vessel in the Great White North it's used for research and protecting our shorelines from environmental issues. In other words it is unarmed. In fact, this branch falls under the Federal Department of Fisheries. 

24 Sep 20

06:30 hrs

     I'm awake - go figure - but my Lobster is still snorkeling in bed. I turned the fireplace on. Its natural gas, like the one at the Wayward Inn, but there is no blower fan. 

10:00 hrs

     We have driven out to Pot Holes. There's a lady selling framed exotic moths and butterflies. We already have a couple - and a bat - on the wall of the Wayward Inn. My Better Half wants a couple more and who am I to argue as I bought a new trail camera when we stopped in Hub City on the way down.

15:45 hrs

     We're back at our (temporary) stately manor after six hours of walking around Capital City. Feeling the burn. As we came down the hill I spotted not one but two HMCS boats underway from the dockyard. Didn't know they had enough personnel to crew more than one of them at a time. Our lunch was at a quasi-Mexican joint serving an all day breakfast and a limited lunch. Eggs Benny for the both of us please. We have the fixings for a late snack kinda supper apres du Hot Tub!

25 Sep 20

08:15 hrs

     A new day has dawned. Sort of. Last night after we got back to Chez Lagoon we watched two, no three, no four, yes! Four sea otters gambolling about in the waters below our room. The heron who was trying to catch his dinner was not impressed with their antics. The entertainment lasted about forty minutes before they slipped away to wherever sea otters go.

     This morning we have a low overcast sky that appears to still heavy with rain. I don't know how it could still hold moisture as it came down in buckets last night. My only hope is the Left Coast of the Hugh-ess is also being hit with the deluge. 

27 Sep 20

06:45 hrs

     My Lobster and I are home. Yesterday we woke up at about 07:00 hrs. We ate breakfast, packed up and headed out by 09:00 hrs. We stopped in Hub City to pick up a couple of items at a craft shop and when we arrived at the Wayward Inn I checked our fuel consumption for the return trip and the Ram operated at 12.2L/100km. Not too shabby.

Lots of Changes

20 Sep 20 

06:45 hrs

     Yes, there have been a lot of changes and revelations that have happened in the past week. So, buckle up Dear Readers it may be a bumpy ride.

     The first notable change is the amount of darkness even in the middle of the day. Sure, the sun is rising later and setting sooner but the sky has been notably darker due to the massive forest fires raging the length of the Left Coast of the Hugh-ess. All three western states have fires that have burned millions and millions of acres. The size of the scorched earth is even bigger than some other states. The size and scope of the fires is a result of a couple of factors - forest management practices and, more importantly, climate change. The entire Left Coast of the continent has been hammered by climate change with hotter summers and drier winters. This has left us with a much smaller and shallower winter snow pack that does not last through the summer. Here in the Valley our glacier has continued to visibly shrink year after year. It should be noted that the Island used to have twenty glaciers that slowly fed the creeks and streams and rivers in the valleys below their peaks. This kept the trees in those valleys well watered against the threat of a forest fire. Higher summer temps have increased the melt and lack of winter precipitation hasn't replaced what is being lost. Recently, a big chunk of the Greenland Ice Cap has broken off and is now free floating in the ocean. How big is this giant ice cube? It's about 110 square kilometers. This is nothing new. The ice sheets all over the globe are shrinking and the oceans are rising. Another thirty years and that penile shaped bit of land dangling off of the Right Coast of the Hugh-ess will be just a reef under the waves. 

     The Hugh-ess has lost a champion of the people. The Notorious RGB, Justice of the Supreme Court, has passed away after serving twenty- seven years. It happened Rosh Hashanah. She was the greatest champion of equal rights between the sexes which has elevated the rights of women without diminishing the rights of men. Unfortunately, with her passing the Tangerine Tyrant and his Sycophants are now chomping at the bit to find a right leaning conservative replacement that could undermine the statutes and allow the Scales of Justice to tip to the Right leaving the marginalized members of the Hugh-ess society in jeopardy. In short, the laws in the Hugh-ess could be moved backwards more than 50 years. This could include women's rights, reproductive rights, LGBTQ rights, minority rights, immigration rights and voting rights. All of this will cement the rule of the Old White Guys even more. 

     And think about it for a second. All of the fighting and arguments put forward by the GOP in the past dozen years has been because these rich old white bastards are deathly afraid of losing their control over others and deep down they are even more afraid of the browning of the Hugh-ess. If you think that equality under the law exists in the Hugh-ess you would be wrong. Mark my words you don't have to peel off too many layers on a member of the Old White Guy's Club to discover a person hoping for a return to segregation of the races. 

20:30 hrs

     A friend of mine posted on Social Media that he had been Out in the Woods to pick chanterelles and he mentioned that he had too many for his own use. Well brother,  you can drop them off at my place so Chef Blaine can make some wild cream of mushroom soup. Quite a few years ago when I was Out in the Weeds my friend Cindy had picked about two pounds of chanterelles that Chef Blaine had sauteed and folded into a half dozen egg omelet, cooked on a camp stove on the tailgate of the truck  Absolutely delicious. 

     My Better Half and I are going to be spending a few days in Capital City to celebrate our 25th anniversary.  Of course that will leave the Oma-nator in the care of our two Couch Monkeys. I'm sure she'll survive. 

     Have the leaves started to change colour where your at? Some of the trees in the neighbourhood have changed already and some have not. When we look across the Valley towards the Beauforts we can see the deciduous trees painting the mountains as if splotches of colours were thrown from B. Scotts paintbrush. Mostly greens with reds, oranges and yellows spattered about. There isn't as much colour as there is near the Nation's Capital in the fall. There it's all the colours until winter sets in and the leaves fall. Then its grey and drab. Dirty and ugly. At least our winters are not so ugly as we still have the greens of the conifers rippling on the shoulders of the mountains. 

     It's back to the salt mines for a couple of days. I had to purchase a new beacon light for the top of the Ram. One of the controllers must have been blind and informed me that he couldn't see the one I had and suggested that I replace it. Well, the new one has eight patterns and twenty-four LEDs. No problems now.

Ten months in.....

09 Sept 20

15:45 hrs

     So we are ten months since the Oma-nator moved in to the Wayward Inn. Ten months of Trouble. Must have played damn near a thousand games by now. But that's okay. If she was still own on her I don't think she would be doing as well. I know that her diet and her kidney function would be way out of whack. At least now she's getting some green veggies other than iceberg lettuce which has as much nutritional value as wet loose leaf paper. Other than her broken foot - she's wearing a Boot for now - she has been no trouble at all - as long as we do not try to feed her an onion.

10 Sep 20 

16:00 hrs

     I saw that one of the Watergate investigators has come out with a new book that is base on, among other things, eighteen personal (audio recorded) interviews with the Tangerine Tyrant. You have to wonder what was going through his head to agree to that. I'm pretty sure that his Sycophant advisors were all screaming NOOOOOOOO! Oh well, the cats out of the bag now. The pundits figure that150,000 You-Alls may not have died from the Beer Flu if the POTUS had been truthful,  honest and proactive. Nope, didn't want to panic anyone. I hope this will finally put the nails in his political coffin.

     Yesterday I found an old slightly freezer burned pork loin roast. Chef Blaine is going to turn it into soppressata and chorizo sausages. 

     I'm planning on heading to see the Sages for Thanksgiving. I figure about a week will pretty good visit. I know that they probably may not have a lot of chores for me to do. I'll take my knife sharpening set to touch up the kitchen tools. While there I'll take the annual run down to the City at the Head of the Lake to see if my friends mom is still on this side of the sod. Two years ago she could barely remember me. Last year she was rolled by me in a wheelchair and never looked up. This is something that I have to do. She was a great friend to many of us in highschool. Unfortunately,  her only son is such a shit he wouldn't tell anyone if she passed away. A friend of mine had just visited the Kangaroo Ranch. It's just south of the City at the Head of the Lake so I think that since I'm already down that way I'll drive just a little bit farther to buy some mead. 

     One of the pricier restaurants in The Valley has been closed for more than a few months, possibly because of the Beer Flu, and is now up for sale. It's a beautiful building. West Coast design, top of the line kitchen, seating for about 250. We had dined there on several occasions and really enjoyed the food and the atmosphere. 

     I spotted the renovations on one of the Valley's schools. A seismic upgrade was incorporated. It was an older building and had to be brought up to code or be torn down.

22:45 hrs

     When Elric the Stalwart and his Lobster were over last week my Better Half had bought a couple bags of snacks things to munch on while playing cards. We had a bag of chili and lime flavoured peanuts and a bag of mixed snacks. The components of mixed snacks could be purchased separately. The different items included seasoned peanuts, a crescent shaped moon cracker, a mustard flavoured twisted pretzel and some salted pretzels and these odd lumpy sesame things that looked a lot like cat cookies from a litter box. I said to my Better Half that the contents of the snack bag is probably made from the bits swept up from the production floor during the manufacturing of the individual items and what looks like cat cookies could actually be rat cookies. Let's sleep on that.

So that's what the problem is!

01 Sep 20

19:15 hrs

     We've been busy at the Wayward Inn. Then again, when are we not busy in some way shape or form. Last week was a busy work week for me and my Better Half. After I finished working on Thursday I came home picked up the Jr. Couch Monkey and drove him out to where we would be camping. Unfortunately,  the place I wanted to go was full so I had to back track to a second location. When we arrived we were informed that all of the sites were full. A little bit of begging and I secured a spot in the overflow site next to the boat ramp. After assisting in putting up the BAT I bid my son adieu and headed home. After work on Friday I met my Friend from Over the Hump at the Wayward Inn. I got changed, we loaded the boat and headed off to the lake. 

     Now, the road into the campsite is only 5km long from the main logging road which is pretty short as far as logging roads go. But, it hasn't been plowed in at least five years. All the other logging roads in the area are so smooth you could push a baby carriage and not wake the occupant. I'll be calling my local MLA about this bullshit.

     Once we got to the lake the boat was dropped on, the Jr. Loin Fruit was loaded in it and I took him to the other end of the lake for a solo camp over the next two nights. We checked on him the next day as we trolled by. We had planned on doing it again in the afternoon but the weather turned shitty and I wasn't about to launch the boat. The next morning we fished for a few hours, broke camp, retrieved the Loin Fruit and headed home. We had landed only four trout and my boat still has a leak.

03 Sep 20

19:45 hrs

     The Oma-nator is now wearing a boot cast on her right landing gear. We don't know how it happened but somewhere along the line she broke a bone in her foot. She was suffering from aches and pains but nothing like this. 

     So, on with the boot!

     She has an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon in a week or so. My guess is they'll let the injury heal on it's own

     The salumi that Chef Blaine started two weeks or so back is doing nicely. It has to reduce in weight by 35%. They started at 510 grams. They're sitting at 380 grams and have to reduce another 50 grams. He figures it will be another week just be safe and he is already looking at doing his own pastrami or capicoli or maybe salami. He has asked me to look for large sausage casings.

     Elric the Stalwart and his Lobster will be coming over to the Wayward Inn for supper on Saturday. Chef Blaine and Sous Irene will be prepping fajitas - beef, chicken and veg - with locally made corn tortillas and homemade salsas. I don't know if they've eaten fajitas before so this might be interesting.

04 Sep 20

04:30 hrs

     I just caught a story on a major Hugh-ess news network of another African American male dying while in police custody. For some unknown or imagined reason they had placed a cloth bag over his head - supposedly to protect the officers from being spit on. This shit has really has to stop and before it does  believe there will be another civil war South of the 49th Parallel. All I can suggest is that we keep our collective heads down when the shooting starts. Another issue coming to a head for our neighbours is the fact that due to the Beer Flu their neighbours, The Great White North and The Big Salsa Bowl have both closed their borders to casual crossings a lot of which was for medical reasons. It is well known that some medical drugs - insulin is an example - are far cheaper outside the borders of the Hugh-ess and a large number of those in need regularly travel over the border to fill their prescriptions. It is unfortunate to those in need that Big Pharma has trapped patients with their affliction.

21:45 hrs

     Prep work for our guests have begun. The beef has been seasoned and the chicken is marinating. My Lobster had purchased a big bunch of peppers from a local home gardener. Sweet, hot, mild, Hungarian and Mexican. Outstanding. We love peppers and for some applications the hotter the better. Chef Blaine has taken some green cherry tomatoes and has created a salsa verde for tomorrow's dinner. Sous Irene will use the ripe tomatoes to make a regular salsa. Desert will be the PBR STREETGANG mango cream pudding.

He's at it again!

20 Aug 20

06:45 hrs

     Chef Blaine is at it again!

     Feeling the need for some basic comfort food I asked him to make an old family favourite - Poor Man's Borscht. It's nothing special and it's not complicated but it is something that my L'il Sis and I grew up with. My Lobster, who wouldn't eat soup on a bet, pooh poohed the dish calling it dirt soup and as a result the only two people who ate were myself and the Sr. Couch Monkey. That's okay that just means there was more for me.

     Chef Blaine has also branched out on a new pursuit - the dry aging of meat. Meats can be smoked to preserve them for future use but another method, a more ancient method is to cure and dry age the material. By drying the meat, not as dry as jerky, moisture is removed and spoilage from bacteria is also removed. 

     He took two pork tenderloins, butterflied them and then weighed them. Next, sea salt or non-iodized kosher salt is measured out at 2.5% of the weight of the meat. To that, curing salt at .25% of the weight of the meat is also added. These salts were rubbed into the meat before they were sealed in a bag and allowed to rest for 6 days. For the next step the meat was rinsed off, dried off and seasoned with paprika, cumin, fennel and black pepper. The tenderloins were then rolled, tied, wrapped in cheese cloth and tied to hang in the shop bar fridge. How long does it hang? Again, the time is determined by weight. Before hanging the meat was weighed, 510 grams and 506 grams respectively. When they have reduced in weight by 35% it will be ready for consumption. Look in any delicatessen and you will find meats of all sizes and shapes and flavours hanging from the rafters ready for sale.

21 Aug 20

13:00 hrs

     We just finished Trouble Game #895 - at least it seems like it. The Oma-nator won. She doesn't always win and the style of Trouble that we play could be best described as cutthroat. It's everyone for themselves and no quarter given. Go get 'em!

22 Aug 20

05:00 hrs

     I have no idea why I am awake and up at this hour. Something popped I to my head while I was sleeping and I couldn't shake it. So now I'm enjoying some roof tar while watching the news. Of course, it's still dark outside. The sun won't be up for another hour. The seasons are changing here in the Valley. Leaves are starting to change colour already, especially on the big leaf maples as the heat of summer stresses them out. I remember when we lived in the 'Peg the seasons could and would change in a couple of weeks and skip one season altogether. From 30°C and mosquitoes to -10°C and swirling snow. I prefer being here.

Back from the Weeds

13:45 hrs

14 Aug 20

     This years expedition is now over and as much as I really enjoy going out into the Weeds hosting an expedition adds multiple layers of stress onto what should be an enjoyable outing. Overall, the expedition was a solid B in the success department. We had no injuries, there were no fights, no accidents, two possible sightings of the big and hairy kind, several rocks were throw in our general direction and a number of vocalizations were heard.

     While I was slogging through the trenches my Lobster had to take the Oma-nator for an appointment in River City and for a bubble tea as well. On the drive up the coast she noted the number of large new apartment/condo buildings that have gone up in the last little while. I had seen the construction when i went fishing with my Friend from over the Hump. If I had the time to stop and take some pictures I'm sure that my Lobster's Travelling Relatives would like to see the changes taking place in their old neighborhood. What really strikes me is how the contractors in River City can build condos over four floors in height and the morons at the city halls here in the Valley will not allow, under any circumstances, a building to be more than four residential levels tall. To gain height the developers are placing these four floors atop of a two level above ground car park. So guess what? Its six floors tall.

     My Li'l Sis and Aynsley made a trip to the Sage's place a week or so ago. It was the first time Aynsley had met this portion of her family and from what I was told all went well. L'il Sis said that it would be good if I went to visit the Sage's. My Better Half suggested that I go for Thanksgiving as we will not be travelling to the north end of the Rock anytime soon. I may or may not take one of the Loin Fruits with me. If I did it would most likely be the Jr. one as it our hope that the Sr. one will be gainfully employed by then. The only issue with bringing the Jr. Loin Fruit is that he has taken it upon himself to really push my buttons with his regurgitation of the high fallutin university psycho babble. I'm getting too old to care anymore. 

     What I do care about is this...I'm looking forward to the day when the Wayward Inn is paid off and when this Beer Flu is gone and when we are both retired to sitting on a tropical beach for a month at a stretch. Cold beers, warm sand and my Lobster beside me.

     I haven't touched any of my writing projects in the past six months. I know that I should pick it back up and get the shit done. The rewrite of Who Let the Goats Out  is pretty much done. I have to come up with a couple more stories and it still has to be edited mind you. Then there is the cook book and the last non fiction work. Five books. All different subjects.

19:45 hrs

     Tonight was not good night for games. I lost at Sludge Pit cribbage and two games of Trouble. My only consolation was finding and eating the first two ripe cherry tomatoes on our plants. We didn't plant these plants nor did we propagate them. My Lobster found them on marketplace for free. They were ten inches tall when we brought them home. They are much bigger now and the largest of them has grown taller than our blueberry bushes. I figured they would get so big, flower, produce fruit then die. But no. They just got bigger and bigger. And all the while flowering and producing fruit that wasn't ripening.  I talked to the Sage about this and was told that I had to prune off the male branches if I wanted to have the fruit ripen. But which are the male branches i asked. Simple, son - the useless ones with no fruit or blossoms on them. Thanks mom.

23:15 hrs

     The one thing you don't get a lot of when you are Out in the Weeds is news of current events - local or other wise. One thing that surprised me is how the Tangerine Tyrant has gone about facilitating a failure of the postal system to prevent mail in ballots from ever reaching the counting stations. Not only did his buddy, the Postmaster General, begin to remove neighbourhood mail collection boxes from across the country he also began the dismantling and the destruction of automated mail sorting machines which means the 10k peices of mail that is electonically sorted per hour will now have to done by hand. So, not only will it take longer for your mail (personal, business and government) to get to you but it will be almost impossible for you to send back a reply. I guess if he can't win by preventing mail in ballots from being used he's just going to prevent the mail in ballots from going anywhere. 

     Tomorrow is adventure day.

15 Aug 20

06:15 hrs

     I probably would have slept longer but we have a new rental cat who takes great pleasure in bolting up and down the hallway in the early morning. She's only nine months old and Miss Maggy Baggybits hates her. This is our second rental since Mr. Teddy Buttnuggets passed away and as important as it is to facilitate the habituation of these rentals so they can be adopted I have no attachment to them at all.

     I'm an old guy and being an old guy I'm partial to original things. Original art, songs, movies, etc. In my opinion, very rarely does the remake out shine the original. American Woman by the Guess Who is great. The Lenny Kravitz version not so much. Original Coke is far Better than any new recipe. The 1980 remake of the Mustang sucked. However, I recently watched a remake of the movie Death Wish that was really good. The original, starring Charles Bronson, came out over forty years ago. The updated remake starring Bruce Willis is just as good. You should give it a look see on Netflix. 

     Chef Blaine has a new experiment on the go. Previously, on several occasions, he has created a smoked and cured pork loin which was delicious. The only issue was when it was drying in the refrigerator the rich smoke scent, as deliciously intoxicating as that is, had permeated up through to the freezer compartment. The Jr. Couch Monkey once asked me why the frozen french fries smelled of mesquite. The new goal is to produce his own dry aged meats. If you have the ability, would you rather make your own home made salumi/salami (where you have control of the ingredients) or the mass produced stuff found at your local deli?

19:45 hrs

     Yes, today was adventure day which started out with yours truly not being able to find his wallet. For the next 2 1/2 hours I searched high and low in every nook and cranny. Finally, when I had reached the end of my rope the Oma-nator said a prayer and I found it. This is the nice version. Deal with it. 

     We drove south towards Hub City but not quite that far. I had to pick up something for the PBR Wayward Inn and on the return leg we stopped for an icecream cone. Coming back into the Valley there were three Queens's Cowboy ghost cars. We skated through.

     Well, Dear Readers...there's more on my plate but I think this is just about all you can digest.

Out and About

01 Aug 20

05:00 hrs

     The Valley is on a watering restiction so yours truly is awake and manning the pumps. I'll spend my time to catch up on the news programs that I recorded. Over the past few days I've been prepping the Mobile Wayward Inn to go Out in the Weeds. Its pretty much done now being loaded with food, water and libations. I did some clean up around the house too including a dump run. Our landfill is located out by the Wild Wild West. When I drove through I saw that they are building a  new firehall. This a good thing as the current firehall is probably a heritage building. The new one is more centralized to the ever expanding community. 

18:00 hrs

     Chef Blaine has ribs and a pork tenderloin on the Flame Pit. His sous chef is making the salad. The Oma-nator will be happy to chew on the ribs.

     My Li'l Brother is flying in from the Peg on Monday. I invited him to come Out in the Weeds with me next week. As the organizer I'm not charging him anything. I don't charge my Friend from Over the Hump either and he has been out on at least three other expeditions that I can remember. 

     Out for a walk with my Better Half she commented that the Beer Flu has not put in a dent in the housing market, at least locally. In the past week we have both seen at least a half dozen moving trucks in just our neighborhood. What has changed is the way people are conducting their house hunting. Gone are the days if trudging from house to house with your realtor or attending an open house with a crowd of other shoppers. The new method is to take an online virtual walk through from the cocooned safety of their current home. Buyer beware. It is risky to buy anything on line and this risk increases as the value increase but the risk of possibly catching the Beer Flu - and possibly dying from it - is worse.

     Our latest rental cat has been put up for adoption at one of the local pet stores. When we got her we had been told that she had an anxiety issue and was urinating anywhere she wanted. Well, we saw none of that. First, she's only a nine month kitten. Her first owner, from what we were told was an older person, who may not have scooped the box every day and after a few days a fastidious feline will be looking for a cleaner place to do its business. 

     A friend of mine posted this unique trick where instead of pouring out your bacon grease she stirs in oatmeal to it as it cools. This is now distributed as bird feed which is far better than bread crumbs. Here at the Wayward Inn,  we're going to give it a whirl.

     This will probably be my last post for a while as there is no cell access from Out in the Weeds.  Be safe and take care of each other. 

You would think...

23 Jul 20

06:24 hrs

     You would think that after 40 years or more of shaving that my lower lip would have enough scar tissue built up that the odd nick of the blade would not require the use of dampened tissue or a styptic pencil. 

     No.

     You would think that if you recieved a gift that you don't particularly care for that you would still say thank you and then quietly re-gift it when no one is watching.

     No.

     You would think that if you are an elected official and you get your hand in the cookie jar, not once but time and again, that you would step down and walk away from the position because you are a greedy pig.

     No.

     You would think that people who consume soy or almond "milk" would be smart enough to know that soy beans and tree nuts do not have mammary glands and therefore what they are drinking is best described as nut juice.

     No.

     You would think that if people knew what hot dogs were made of and how they were made that they never eat them again.

     No.

     You would think that as a highly successful comedian who was adored by millions of fans and who never cursed while performing his act, Bill Cosby would guilty of such heinous crimes.

     No.

     You would think that common sense would prevail and people would fall into the traps set by demagogues such as those pushing the Q-ANON agenda in the Hugh-ess.

     No.

     You would think that everyone knows that putting ketchup on a hotdog is just plain wrong.

     No. 

     You would think that people who read this blog would comment.

     No,

     

     

     

     

Grumpy like a piece of broken furniture with splinters!

16 Jul 20 

07:15 hrs

     That's what my Lobster called me. Grumpy like a piece of broken furniture with splinters. After eight late nights of which four were full blown graveyard shifts someone my age just might be a bit testy. Such is life deal with it.

     I spotted a great movie on Netflix that I hadn't seen in years - True Romance with Christian Slater. It came out in the 1990's and if you haven't seen it. Be prepared for lots of gun violence. Are there any winners? Not really.

     My outing in August is fast approaching. Some of the participants will not be coming because the border between us and the Hugh-ess will be closed to the el Touristas for another month. A good call on the part of the Boys on the Hill as the Beer Flu disinformation from the Tangerine Tyrant has allowed the infection and death rate to climb ever higher. In following the news cycle it is evident that the lower levels of civil administration - mayors and county leaders - are now beginning to follow the science and are ignoring the demands of the POTUS and his sychophant state governors to open businesses and schools. 

16 Jul 20

15:15 hrs

     The Oma-nator is still napping. The Jr. Loin Fruit has gone to hang with some members of the BOM and the Sr. Loin Fruit is deep within his Fortress Solitude. After my series of late nights I had a couple of days off. I'm back escorting tomorrow and then all next week. After that I only have another week or so until I'm Out in the Weeds. Am I excited? Is the Tangerine Tyrant morally corrupt?

     That being said I'm going fishing with my Friend from Over the Hump on Saturday. We'll go go back to our favourite fishing hole and drown a few more worms. There will be no need to cut the day short this time. Unless we limit out early which has been known to happen. I still have the fish from our last excursion and with what we catch on Saturday I will put in a brine and then smoke.

     Do you like Pink Floyd? Some their really really early stuff is very twisted. Have you listened to their song - Several species of small furry animals grooving together in a cave with a Pict - from the album Ummagamma. No? I have. It's kind strange but if you close your eyes while listening to it the title makes perfect sense.

     Cocoons! Not raccoons - bloody trash pandas. I'm talking about cocoons. That insulating wall that some individuals layer themselves in. Sometimes it's to shut out the hurt. Sometimes it's to avoid others including family members. Some people are able to tactically insulate themselves while others, like the Tangerine Tyrant, have the mental capacity of a small dirty soap dish and are quite capable of living in some alternative universe that is completely devoid of scientific fact which provides many layers of insulation. 

     I'm not saying that being able to back off from a situation in order to regroup is a bad thing. It's not but sometimes you can't wait and you must simply work through the situation. The Japanese use the Eight-fold fence as a mental distancing technique on a daily basis. 

Little Ones

07 Jul 20

20:45 hrs

     There have been a couple of new arrivals on this Third Rock that should be mentioned. First is the arrival of my Cuz'n's granddaughter. This particular Cuz'n and his branch of the family had been lost to antiquity only to be discovered in the late 1990's. 

     When I first met him and his mom, my aunt, and his brothers we were seated a big restaurant. He was at one end and I was at the other of a very long table. Looking at him was like looking in a mirror except he was a bit bigger and a fair bit younger than myself. A number of years later when we had moved out to the Left Coast I learned that he had unwittingly moved into the very same apartment,  not just the same complex or the same building but the very same unit that I had occupied before I got married to my Better Half. Now, isn't that weird coincidence? Now, he has a granddaughter who will be spoiled rotten and handed back to mom so she can deal with her. Just desserts.

     The second arrival, actually it's the second and third arrival - a set of twins - is to a friend of mine and the Couch Monkeys. She is a couple of years older than our Sr. Loin Fruit and has been a fixture in the local scouting movement for years. She is one person who could always be counted on to assist in just about any project and is a very warm and caring person. All of us who know her just know that she will be a great mom.

21:45 hrs

     I'm at work. Watching contractors. It's a no brainer but the squadron is conducting night ops. The engines are turning and the air is filled with the heady exhaust coming from the gas turbines. Years ago, when the airforce had more planes, you could smell it all over town and the sounds from airfield demonstrated that this was the best means of converting JP4 jet fuel into pure unadulterated noise as the jets thundered down the runways. 

08 Jul 20

17:15 hrs

      I'm waiting for my workers. Rain is threatening to fall here in the Valley but that's okay as we haven't had a good rain in quite some time. Last night, actually it was after my shift at O-Dark 30, the Dispatcher informed me that our neighbour - this Dispatcher lives a couple of doors down from the Wayward Inn  - had the same thing happen to his boat trailer as I did on mine. A blown bearing. He discovered it on his arrival back at home. His boat is much bigger than my 12 foot tinny and is designed for moving fast while towing some screaming Yard Apes on an inflatable device. His situation is much dire than mine was as the disintegration of the bearing scored the axle shaft. Such is life.

     My Lobster saw in the local cage liner that there will be another 40+ unit town house development going up in our portion of the Valley. That's a good and bad news scenario. Good as we could do with more residents and bad that it isn't more affordable rental units that we so desperately need.

     The Oma-nator has been with us eight months now and we have conservatively played over 500 games of Trouble. Think about that for a while.

Your morning spew!

03 Jul 20

08:30 hrs

     I was always wondering when it would happen and I always wondered if I would be a witness. If I was a witness I knew that I would just have to laugh especially since I had been there myself.

     Two nights ago our Sr. Couch Monkey and a friend went out to a local watering hole. My Better Half advised him to maintain social distancing because the Beer Flu is still a potential threat to life and limb. Not a problem he says. And if you need a ride home just call. Thanks, we're gonna walk there but I'll call if we need a ride. Be safe. We will. 

     And, off they go.

     Now, I was working evenings and they were all home at the Wayward Inn by the time I got home. In the morning my Lobster went off to the salt mines and I lounged in bed until 06:45 hrs when I got up to make coffee. About twenty minutes later the Sr. Loin Fruit wanders downstairs dressed in his house coat. He's rumpled and has a head like a ten pound Smartie. 

     How was your evening?

     Pretty good. How was yours?

     Boring. Is your friend still here?

     Yeah, she's upstairs.

     Okay. What did you drink last night?

     I had two beers and a whiskey sour.

     Okay.

     And with that he wandered back upstairs to his cave. Eight o'clock rolls by and the Oma-nator comes out of the Princess Suite. We were sitting across from each other at the dining room table having breakfast when the Sr. Loin Fruit suddenly barrels down the stairs. His robe streaming behind him like a superhero's cape. The cape was shucked off as he knelt before the throne. But his timing was off and he didn't get the seat raised in time. At least not for the first hurl.

     What was that? asked the Oma-nator. The action had occurred behind her. She couldn't see it but she could hear it.

     That was the Sr. Couch Monkey. He's sick. I said with a grin.

     In fact, he was very sick several times over the course next ten minutes. Which was followed by a large glass of water and the bucket of cleaning supplies. There's nothing like cleaning your own reverse peristalsis to clear your head.

     It was a good personal lesson for him to learn. And I'm sure he's going to learn it several times more. Maybe it was the mixing of alcohol types or maybe he was drinking on an empty stomach. Who knows. Everyone has their own tipping point. As for myself I will neither confirm nor deny that I have made a collect call from the Great White Telephone on four different continents. For some of us lessons are harder to learn and some of you know better than to ask foolish questions. 

     

a final Goodbye

25 Jun 20

01:55 hrs.

     Dear Readers, I am writing this short blog to tell you of the loss of a family member at the Wayward Inn. Mr. Teddy Buttnuggets was sent on his way yesterday evening and due to my work requirements I was not able to attend his passing. 

     It all started about three weeks or so ago when after I had come back from checking out the site for Base Camp when I saw, and learned from my Better Half, that Teddy wasn't doing so well. He was listless, uncoordinated, had lost weight and wanted to refrain from human contact. I quickly made an appointment for him with the vet. Now, I had thought he was having bowel issues, which he had in the past and which we had remedied with a higher fibre diet. But this turned out not to be the case. After a thorough check it was found that he had a fever and his blood smear test showed no white blood cells. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to know that a fever denotes an infection of some kind but with no white blood cells how could he fight an infection. The concern was there was something wrong with his bone marrow and it was hoped that by treating the mysterious infection with a spectrum of antibiotics that it would give some relief to the bone marrow. 

     Teddy remained overnight and was rehydrated. The course of meds got rid of the fever and over the next ten days or so he regained strength, weight and looked to be on to a path to recovery. The vet had us bring him in to recheck his blood and it was discovered that his white blood cell count was still near zero. The vet had us continue the oral dosage of steroids which would drive him to eat fuelling his body and hopefully restarting the bone marrow. Sadly, it didn't work.

     On Sunday he had eaten supper but appeared stand oafish. Monday morning he never came around for breakfast and when I retrieved him from upstairs he ate very little. I worked graveyard shift that night and he did not greet me when I got home at Oh-Dark-30. Nor did he come for breakfast later on. Something was certainly amiss.

     Throughout the day Teddy had kept himself hidden away. Animals will do that when they feel the end is near especially predators. It's an instinctual behavior that they all exhibit and our housecat was no different than a cougar in this respect. When my Better Half came home we discussed the options and knowing that there was only one she took up the banner and called the vet for an appointment. Early in the evening she, the Sr. Couch Monkey and the Oma-nator escorted Teddy on his final trip. Later my Lobster told me that he must have known that we were helping him with his pain as he was calm and purring up a storm.

     As the boys interned him at the Wayward Inn near the blueberry bushes a CC-115 Buffalo rescue plane soared over the house. I would like to think that Teddy was now safe from his pains.

     God Speed. 

When four hours of fishing lasts 22 hours!

18 Jun 20

16:15 hrs

     Last Sunday my Friend from over the Hump and I headed out to drown a few worms. We had already tried twice to go but both times we had issues the motor/fuel that culminated in yours truly doing a whole bunch of rowing. After flushing the fuel lines and having the motor serviced we decided to risk the journey to out favourite lake once again. 

     An hour and a half after leaving the Wayward Inn we were backing down the ramp when my friend said, "I think there's a problem with your trailer!" We launched the boat and gingerly parked the trailer. Our inspection revealed that the wheel bearing had completely disintegrated. The grease cap had blown off and grease coated the wheel rim. Now, we knew we would have to fix it but we had worms to drown first. Four hours and about a dozen fish between us - we kept only four - we returned to our mechanical mess.

     We actually loaded the boat onto the trailer - why not as the wheel was still turning - and reparked the trailer on a semi level spot. We loosened the wheel from the hub and beat the split pin off of the castle nut. After jacking up the trailer we were able to remove the hub from the axle with the touch of a finger because the bearings were non existent. The only thing left were the sleeves from the inner and outer bearing races and the inner sleeve was seized on. For the next hour we tried to remove the ring with meager tools that were in the Ram. No joy.

     So, it was a half hour road trip to River City in the search for parts at the nearest Crappy Tire Store. 

     We would do two more trips back and forth from the lake to River City and by the end of the day the sleeve was still on the axle shaft. So, we took the motor off the boat and went home. 

     The next day we returned to the boat with more tools, a pair of jack stands and a cordless angle grinder. With the new tool the ring was quickly removed from the axle shaft. We tried the new bearings and...No Joy! They were just a smidgen too small in diameter. 

     Over the course of the day we made four trips from the lake to River City. On the penultimate trip we took the entire axle off the trailer to an rv marine shop and asked them to rebuild it. Compatible bearings were finally found at another outlet. After the rebuild we returned to the trailer, bolted the axle to the frame, added the tires and headed for the Wayward Inn. 

     I would like to thank my Friend from over the Hump for all of his assistance and for the RV shop for rebuilding the axle.

20 Jun 20

06:45 hrs

     Today, the Onion will be coming for supper at the Wayward Inn. It may be her last supper with us as she will be going home to her homeland. She hope's to return to the Great White North to continue her studies. Time will tell.

     Locally, there is still some snow high on the tops of the Beauforts but it is melting fast. There's still plenty on the glacier though. Construction of the latest seniors residence facility is progressing on a daily basis but there is still a lack of housing for our Residentially Challenged persons. For my own projects I have a wheelchair to fix, bearings on the Mobile Wayward Inn to inspect, a courier tray, a dual battery box and a coffin to build. The coffin will be for Mr. Teddy Buttnuggets. He's not doing so well and the vet has told us that the day will come. We don't know when but it will be sooner than later.

in the face of science...

10 June 20

08:30 hrs

     No apology.

     No acknowledgment of being wrong.

     No common dog.

     There is a contractor that I have been minding for the past six months. Now, he is a citizen of the Great White North but he is also a huge follower of the Tangerine Tyrant. I know it's weird but what are you going to do. This morning we were talking about coffee and I had mentioned that my friend, the Big Swede, makes this roof tar espresso that keeps us going all night when we are Out in the Weeds. The contractor emphatically stated that regular drip coffee has more caffeine than espresso. SAY WHAT?

     I quickly googled it and found that coffee has 40 mg of caffeine per cup and espresso has 212 mg of caffeine for the same amount. Five times the amount. A scientific fact. Did he believe me? Not a chance. I checked multiple sources. FDA, Canuck Food and Drug and others. They all say the same thing. But to him facts don't matter. Now imagine having to deal with the Sycophants over something important like Black Lives Matter?

22:00 hrs

     If you have been following the entertainment news lately the highly successful cable show COPS has been canceled after 33 years. At one time it was entertaining but now in today's climate it's time to call it quits.

     In a major northern Hugh-ess city a senior citizen was pushed backwards onto the ground where he struck his head. He lay bleeding from a head wound as the police marched by. There was no empathy from the Tangerine Tyrant either when he said that it looked as if the victim fell harder than he was pushed. Yeah, as if a 75 year old man goes around hurling himself to the ground in order to make the police look bad. 

     My Better Half and I walked over to a different book house to drop off some the peices from our little libraries and to see what it had to offer. I was impressed.  It's about four time the size of my book house. It has solar lighting but mine has shingles, a gutter, a rain chain, a sky light and a chimney (non-functioning). Mind you, I could see the larger one being built some day by the Wayward Inn. 

11 Jun 20

07:00 hrs

     The Beer Flu has now claimed over 130,000 victims in the Hugh-ess with 1,300+ falling on Tuesday. Yesterday's numbers weren't any better. Kind of scary as the Tangerine Tyrant pushes for more businesses to open. I can see our southern border remaining closed to all but commercial traffic. 

     Speaking of things Southern, last night the citizens in one southern state yanked down the statue of a Confederate general and the rebel flag has been band from being flown, sold or displayed at motor speedway. Additionally,  a 250 year old slave auction block has finally been removed from in front of a southern state capital. All of this activity reminds me of when The Wall fell in 1990/91 and how the citizens,  oppressed by nearly 50 years of being under the thumb of the Hammer and Sickle smashed the symbols of that regime. Of course, not all of the countries were fully freed of their chains. The great Motherland was quickly usurped by another tyrant who then squashed any hope of democracy for his own benefit. Look for the book Red Notice.

     Another great book to look for is American War. It's written by Egyptian Canadian Omar el Akkad. Set in the not so distant future, the Hugh-ess has erupted into a civil war over the use of fossil fuels. It's pretty compelling. 

12 Jun 20

04:45 hrs

     Good Morning Kidlettes! Did you get enough rest? I did but I should still be racked out. After getting up at this time several days in a row to be ready for work a person's internal clock kinda gets set to it. Then there is the massive rainstorm outside and household noises inside. With four other adults inside the Wayward Inn there is bound to be noises that may tip the scales towards.....screw it! I might as well get up! 

     Yesterday I said goodbye to the contractors and when I got home the Sr. Couch Monkey stripped the battery from his car. It had mysteriously died twice and since it was the original battery from 2013 it had to be changed. We went to Crappy Tire where he bought a replacement and once home we dropped it into place. No issues. All good. There is nothing wrong with twisting wrenches to bring people together.

     We're having the Onion over for supper on Saturday. She is still suffering from a vicious cycle of high anxiety followed by deep depression to the point where she is almost non functioning. As such, her parents are flying her home in two weeks. The Onion says that she will return to the Great White North but something inside of me says that her foray to the Western World will be done.

     Well Dear Readers,  the coffee is ready. Take care and enjoy your day.

Plain Olde Insanity

03 Jun 20

05:00 hrs

     There is no other way to convey my feelings of what has been happening in the Hugh-ess over the past few days but I will make the Grand Attempt.

     It would seem that basic human decency and common sense was not instilled, taught or issued to the police when in the course of the arrest of an unarmed African American, who was suspected in writing a forged cheque at a convenience store. This individual was removed from his vehicle and handcuffed behind his back. In the process of putting him into the patrol vehicle he collapsed - he had an underlying medical condition. Now, maybe the attending officers believed that this was a feint, I don't know. I'm sure they had seen every kind of dodge that there is but it was not an excuse for three of the officers to kneel on the individual, one of whom was on the guy's neck. For chrissakes, the man is handcuffed and lying prone on the ground. Where the hell is he going to go? The suspect passes out and dies enroute to a hospital. The suspect was black and the cops, three of them anyways, are white. 

     This tragedy followed on the heels of a black jogger who was pursued and killed by a retired cop because someone thought he was the perp in a string of residential break ins two weeks earlier. And another incident where a SWAT team broke down the door to an apartment and shot and killed an innocent black woman. Oops, sorry we had the wrong address. 

     These acts and others have galvanized the people of the Hugh-ess to fight for what is right. Fair and just treatment by law enforcement officials. It's bad enough that racism still exists in that country, or any country for that matter, but when scales of justice are tipped against a group of people simply because of the colour of their skin is it any wonder that they have said, "Enough is Enough!" 

     The riots and protests are into the 8th or 9th day now. And they have spread in solidarity to the Great White North and across the pond to the Olde Country. Through it all the Tangerine Tyrant has deflected and skewed the blame to anyone whose downfall would benefit his re-election. Empathy and open dialogue are not in his wheelhouse and the words spewing out of his face have caused even more harm to the point that mayors, police chiefs, governors and priests have all said that they wish he would just shut the hell up!

     I wish them well South of the 49th. It's their mess. They can clean it. I'm not saying we're not perfect either but we can all start by turning off the idiot box, put down the gaming system and get to know your neighbour regardless if they are white, brown, yellow or black. 

Summer's Approaching

23 May 20

08:00 hrs

     Things are certainly shaping up here in the Valley despite the threat of the Beer Flu. Buildings are being constructed, infrastructure is being maintained and people are starting to come out of their shells. The snow is melting on the Beauforts at an increasing rate. We've had rain too which is good as it will keep the threat of wild fires to a minimum. 

24 May 20

06:00 hrs

     We did some work around the Wayward Inn yesterday. The Couch Monkeys sifted and sorted a barrow full of earth taking out the stones and weed roots. We planted a clumping bamboo to block the view of the neighbour's houses. I tidied the shop, just a bit, nothing too crazy. I also tried out my new archery target. At fifteen yards I'm still grouping inside of a coffee cup. Well, mostly inside a coffee cup. The target itself stood up well to the twenty-four rounds I put into it. I'll have to try the compound bow next. I'll have to make sure I'm on target or I'll be sinking holes into the siding of the shop.

     Everyone else at the Wayward Inn is doing well and are chomping at the hope that things will get back to normal. It's not that we are so isolated but are more insulated from all things outside. Only one of us does the shopping at a time as opposed to my Better Half and I strolling through a grocery store. Specialty shopping is pretty much at a standstill. 

     The Tangerine Tyrant has demanded that places of worship be opened despite the fact that the state governors have said no. Some beaches and boardwalks have been opened for the Hugh-ess Memorial Day weekend. They have over 100,000 dead and more than 1.5 million reported cases of Beer Flu. Our numbers in the Great White North are not as bad except in la Belle Province and Ontariario. The numbers are still climbing in a spikey kind of way while across the Bald Prairies the numbers are starting to drop even in the Red Neck Province. 

     On a personal note, a long time friend of the Oma-nator has succumbed to the Beer Flu and his spouse has also contracted it as well. Both of them are in their nineties. When my Better Half and I were first informed of their diagnosis last week we knew that the countdown had begun.

08:45 hrs.

     The Wayward Inn is waking up. I'm reading a novel and listening to a radio station out of the Left Coast Pearl. It's a well established rock station. Queen's "We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions" is playing. A great song. Freddy sounds fantastic. But, I have to wonder is it only my generation that appreciates the current classic rock? I like the original classic rock, stuff from the 50's and 60's. It was current music when the Sages were kids and was the classic rock when I was a kid. Now the rock tunes I grew up with is the new classic rock. The funny thing is that the really old classic rock tunes from the Stones, Who, Doors, Guess Who, Led Zeppelin and other leaders in the field have stood the test of time and are now being enjoyed by the new generation of listeners. Take note that disco music is no where to be found and techno pop music, created without the aid of an actual musician or an instrument, is no where to be found as well. This makes my heart sing.

     The Left Coast Premier has asked the Yellow Yahoos from the province next door to avoid coming here for the long weekend as we do not need another spike in the Beer Flu. It was a polite way of saying, "Stay Home Assholes!". One individual, probably from Cowtown, who owns property near where the Sage's reside griped that Left Coasters should be grateful because so many Redneckers vacation on the Left Coast boosting its economy. He went on to say that as a land owner, albeit not a resident, he should be entitled to travel to his property whenever the hell he wants, Beer Flu or no Beer Flu. He added that if the Premier is going to be so rude then he will be looking to sell his vacation property immediately.  

     Sounds like some butt munch living south of the 49th in a big mausoleum. See ya later Chuckles.

26 May 20

21:00 hrs

     Today my Friend from over the Hump and I went back out to try our luck and once again the Merc ran for ten minutes and then died. This left me growing into the wind for forty minutes to make landfall. We loaded the boat and headed back to town. We dropped the Merc off at a Merc mechanic for him to have a look see. I got word back that it will need a carb job. I am also going to flush the fuel tanks and lines. Starting from scratch.

     Big news here in the Valley. Our old hospital will be converted into a dementia village. It will be the first on the Island and the second on the Left Coast. This is really great as it repurposes an older building, well at least part of it. I haven't seen the plans or an artists rendition but from what I have learned a dementia village is a gated town unto itself with facilities and activities for the residents. They can wander about inside the village but cannot get out. L'il Sis says that's good because now the Sage's can move closer to me.