Twas the Night before...

20:00 hrs
28 Oct 15

     There's but one sleep left.
     The truck is packed with all of the gear. Food, lodgings, clothing and extraneous stuff. But all very necessary shit. Batteries for radios and mantles for the lantern. Water. There's a definite need. As is that blessed roll of white gold.

     And I'm off. Off my nut some would say. Tomorrow at O-Dark 30 I'll be heading for Duke Point. Returning on Sunday. Three dark rainy fun filled nights. On a good note I will be teamed up with the Big Swede and Youngblood once again. A sweet deal for sure. No Whiners, please and thank you.

     For this evenings repast my Better Half and I, along with Loin Fruit #2 went to Fluid. Nice place. Easy menu. The meals at our table included a shared bruschetta, a jersey chicken wrap, a seafood pasta bowl and a flat iron steak sandwich (rare). If you know us you should be able to figure out who ate what.

     When we pulled into the parking at Fluid the first thing spotted was the giant penis on wheels. Some moron, with more money than God and no common sense, jacked his half ton pick me up truck and then out fitted it with wheels that belong on C-130 Hercules. Loin Fruit #2 quickly pointed out that the owner is quite obviously compensating for a miniscule portion of his anatomy. I know that somewhere in the Highway Traffic Act there is a law that pertains to modifying the height of a vehicle beyond its stock configuration as it could affect it's road worthiness. But, do the police do anything about it when these Dickheads drive by? Hell no. They would rather allow these low brow drivers continue to indimidate the motoring public than enforce the rule of law.

Counting down....Again!

07:40 hrs.
25 Oct 15

     Today is Sunday. That leaves Monday for working and two days to finish packing before I head Out in the Weeds. Four glorious days of tenting, eating camp food, getting very little rest, viewing the forest vistas and howling at the moon. The opportunity for me to participate in these excursions comes but once a year and so, when ever it presents itself I have to grab it, with my Lobster's permission of course.

     There is another Halloween function happening Downtown. On 31 October, the Gladstone Brew Pub at the corner of 4th and Cliffe (in conjunction with two other restaurants) is holding a come as you are bash. The times are stated as being from 13:00 hrs until "late". Kinda leaves it opened doesn't it. The party will continue as long as there are still a lot of patrons around. It was just the other day that my Better Half had said that to revitalize the downtown core the shops have to be willing to stay open longer and to hold events that will attract the public's participation.

22:40 hrs.
     If you haven't heard already there has been a tragedy off the west coast of The Rock. A whale watching tour boat capsized at approximately 16:00 hrs. There were twenty seven souls on board. At this time four are reported as deceased. Let's hope the remainder are rescued.

Viva le Difference

06:45 hrs.
21 Oct 15

     Yesterday, when the Junior Loin Fruit came home from school, he noted that I was watching some sort of law enforcement reality show. Go figure. I don't recall which one it was. Border Security, Rocky Mountain Cops or maybe it was Good Ole Ass Stompin' Southern Justice. Doesn't matter except there is a difference between those produced in Canada and those filmed south of the 49th. Especially, those filmed well below the 49th.

     So, on the screen was a shirtless individual who was being forced to the ground by three burly Boyz n Blue. There was a lot of calls of "Stop Resistin me!" Which is rather funny, as it would be virtually impossible for this 160 lb meth addict to resist the wishes of three 250+ lb armed cops.

     "Why are those cops pinning down that guy?"

     "Because he could be armed."

     "Do the police do that in Canada?"

     "No, because people in Canada are not usually carrying a gun where as below the 49th you can expect drivers to be armed."

     Thank GOD I live in Canada!

     On another note...I was out in the Wild Wild West today and I stopped at a favourite watering hole - The Cumberland Grind. The place has been rebuilt with new patio doors that actually stay closed and two new decks. I indulged myself with a Vampires Kiss. A mocha with raspberry flavoring and cayenne pepper (three shakes please).

It's all over but the crying or "Get out of my House!"

05:45 hrs.
20 Oct 15

     I would like to thank you Dear Readers for doing your part by participating in yesterday's federal election. The people have spoken and King Stephen is OUT OF HERE!

     Yes, there has been a changing of the guard. The Tories are out and the Liberals are in. Now I know that some of you have a deep seated hatred for anything connected to Trudeau but you have to remember that it was Trudeau Sr. who is the source of your pains. Get over it. It was, what, 40 or 50 years ago? The geo-political world was far different back then and as I had explained to some of you Olde Uncle Pete did what he had to do because he had to do it for the betterment of the country. Reducing the troop levels in Europe wasn't popular but neither were the Front Liberation du Quebec and the troops were needed at home to deal with our home grown terrorists. Wage and Price controls? Same shit different pile. The Canadian economy was sliding out of control and it had to be reigned it. Now here comes the new kid on the block. In all honesty, you can't paint him with his father's brush. Give him a chance. He might just do some good because anything is better than more of King Stephen's Reign of the Rich and Entitled.

     Now, what of the Orange Wave? Mulcair failed to perform on a grand scale. But, I am not surprised at the change. Look kids, its like this. Despite what you think, the Liberals and the NDP are pretty close in their ideology. At the last election those who flop their vote between those two parties knew the Justin was not ready and pushed the NDP up to be the Loyal Opposition. But this time,  to slap Stephen's hand a vast majority of that voting block catapulted Justin to be the next PM because he is ready. That, and I really don't think the People of Canada could stomach a socialist prime minister. In the end, the Right Coast is Red and the Left Coast is Orange.

     Today is also Patty's birthday. Forty-eight years ago Roger Patterson and Bob Gimlin were riding up Bluff Creek in northern California when the horses were spooked. Roger was thrown from his horse but managed to film a large hairy female primate that is now affectionately called (by those if us who go OUT IN THE WEEDS) as Patty.
     Happy Birthday Patty, where ever you may be.

Do it! Do it now!

08:45 hrs.
18 Oct 15

     So, here's the thing. I don't  particularly care what colour your political stripe is. Red, blue, orange or green. It just doesn't make any difference to me. What does make a difference is the apathy of the Canadian public towards our elected political leaders. And that is the key phrase. Elected.

     These individuals who stand up and argue in the House of Commons are your representatives. They work for you, or at least they are supposed to. Bu,t they are paid by you through your tax dollars. Now, as burdensome as the voting process is be thankful that we do not live South of the 49th. Their political system is so polarized that it is truly amazing if any thing gets accomplished. The one thing that is different, well two things, between them and us is that 'Mericans take the Right to Vote much more seriously than we do and they vote more often. In the middle of a governments four year term they hold a mid-term election where some positions are up for grabs. I don't know which ones but this event is often used by the voting public to voice their approval/disappoval of the ruling party when they cast their ballot and the re-election of the same individuals would be considered as the public's approval of the current government. There are also more non-governmental positions that are elected in the US. Judges, sherrifs, District Attorneys and a host of others are all elected by the public. Imagine the local RCMP detachment commander having to run for office every four years? Or the head of the Crown Attorneys office? What party would you want them to be aligned with. Would a sitting judge who was NDP be more effective than a Tory? Makes you think doesn't it. In the end it doesn't really  matter. What does matter is that You do your part an get your ass off the couch and head for a polling station to cast your vote. Remember, if you don't vote you have no right to complain.

17:30 hrs.

     What hell is up with the shopping stores in this Burg? All I want is an Otterbox to protect my phone that is any colour other than black. With all of the outlet stores handling this product in town you would figure that at least one would have this item in more than one colour.

     Not a fucking chance!

     Walmart? No.
     Staples? No.
     The kiosk in the mall? No.
     Best Buy? (Ah, the best for last.) In a word - NO. But to get to that point you have to endure the constant "Can I help you?" from the effervescent drug infused staff.
     "No, I'm just looking."
      And when you do ask if they have the item you need the circling vulture states that if it's not in the store they can order it in. Hell, I  can do that from Amazon and have it delivered to my house cheaper than what it is instore.  I just figured that being an electronics store they might just have an assortment of electronic goods that I could in fact purchase. Guess I was wrong.
      It's like going to Chapters to buy a book that they never have. Thousands of books. None of which I want to read. But, I could order it in.

     On the construction front someone is reconfiguring the old Pizza Hut at the corner of 17th and Cliffe. If anyone knows what it is going to be please let me in on the secret.

Been waiting long?

17:30 hrs.
13 Oct 15

     I am truly sorry Dear Readers. I have not forsaken you for some other menial occupation such as weed whacking or boot licking. My BETTER HALF and I have been trying to get back into the swing of things after our sojourn to Cuba.  We have actually caught ourselves looking at our watches and noting that we would still be hanging out on the beach or rocking gently in the surf, if we were still down there. In fact my LOBSTER has often mentioned what the current temperature was at the resort. That being said there is still no place lke home.

     For those of you who enjoy a walk in the woods may I suggest that you pick up a copy of "A Walk in the Woods" by Bill Bryson. It is an absolute riot. It came put a number of years ago but has been re-published to coincide with the release of the film starring Robert Redford and Nick Nolte. And speaking about a walk in the woods my best beloved LOBSTER is allowing me to attend the expedition on the mainland at the end of October. I know, I know. I'll miss Halloween and all the little ghoulies but since I am going to suss out one big ass monster I figure I won't miss much.

     How was your Thanksgiving?  We spent ours up at Alder Bay.  Three hours north as the crow flies. Go past Sayward. Go past the turn off to Woss and if you hit Port McNeil you have gone too far so turn around and head towards Telegraph Cove. We like going up there at this time of year because no one is there. Its also a time to abandon the electronic umbilical cords - no texting - no words with friends - etc... Well, try to push that concept onto our senior Couch Monkey and you are looking for a huge grumpy PITA, (PAIN IN THE ASS).

17:00 hrs.
14 Oct 15

     The Halloween decorations at THE WAYWARD INN are taking shape. The final coup des grais will be up to my BETTER HALF and the two Loin Fruits as I will not be here. I hope that it all turns out okay. It's a lot of little details but I am sure that they will be able to figure it out.

     And that's about it kidlets. I heard that the Jays won their division. Big whoopee! I would rather have a rectal exam performed on me by a horned toad than pay to watch a MLB game. Over paid entertainers and fat cat owners. So, stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

How many?

11:50 hrs.
04 Oct 15

     How many icebergs does it take to sink a ship? One, if you're the Titanic.

     How many different single malt whiskies are in my cupboard? Five, currently.

     How many pencils does it take to render a clothes dryer in operative? Only one, but three and a broken pen ensures that the squirrel cage will not move.

     I must take this time to thank my junior Loin Fruit for giving me the opportunity to utilize the skills I had acquired at the Habitat for Humanity Re-Store. Skills in tearing apart large appliances, inspecting them and then re-assembling them. Skills that, if not practiced, will be lost. Skills that have saved the family a $100 service bill. Be warned young padowan that the next time it happens I will be teaching you these skills or you can pay me for the repairs.