The Things You Need in Cuba!

17:55 hrs.
01 Oct 15

     Yes Dear Readers, I am back!
     Chef Blaine has returned to The WAYWARD INN.

     I must say that my LOBSTER and I had the most fantastic time at Breezes Veradaro on the Island of Cuba. It is an all inclusive resort. And by that, I mean the booze and food are FREE! But, it will still cost you. Let me explain so you can understand. TIPS. Everyone is looking for tips from the tourists. Why? Well, let's back up the history truck a bit. After the Cuban Revolution in the late 1950's and the October Crisis in 1962 a trade embargo was enacted between the US  and Cuba leaving the island nation exchanging goods with the Soviet Bloc. Cuba's prime export was sugar and the USSR bought a lot of sugar. Prior to 1990 Cuba was the third largest sugar producer in the world.

     So, what happened after 1990? Well Nancy, the Iron Curtain was coming down and the Soviets could no longer support themselves or any of their satellite countries. This left the Cubans, the Somalis and all the other Left Leaning countries out in the cold. Everyone knows what happened in Somalia but in Cuba they were a little better off. Not much but a little better. After the realization that the Cuban people would have to pull themselves out of the trenches about five years ago Castro allowed Cubans to own their own businesses. This means the Cuban people can work in a semi-open market.

Hear endeth the lesson

07:25 hrs.
04 Oct 15

     Face cloths
     Bar soap
     Imodium
     Large mug type drink holders with lids
     Toilet paper
     Zip loc bags to seal things
     Baby powder
     Snacks for in hotel room
     A sun hat
     Waterproof sunscreen

Still enroute!

08:35 hrs. EST
21 Sep 15

    So after an hour delay off of the Rock we had a thirty minute flight into YVR followed by six hour wait. Our four flight to YYZ was packed solid save the seat between yours truly and the mystery person pressed sleepily against the cabin wall. My BETTER HALF was seated across the aisle from me.

     The only good thing about flying into YYZ was the fact that we are leaving for VAR in four hours from landing. West Jet handled the luggage transfer and the only thing we had to do was search out some growlies at Caplansky's Deli. Good eats at air terminal prices. Thank goodness for holiday pay.

     09:01 hrs.
     We'll boarding soon Dear Readers. The flight to VAR from YYZ takes less time than it does to get to YYZ. Let it be known that by supper time on the Left Coast we will be pool side enjoying drinks with little umbrellas or at least a beer.

So this is it!

06:25 hrs.
20 Sep 15

     Today is the day.
     That's right. My LOBSTER and I are outta here. Heading for a warmer climate. And somewhere out of the 'Merican Sphere of Influence. Any guesses?

      Cuba! You are correct sir! Give the man a cigar!

     We are departing sometime this afternoon for a multi stage flight. YQQ to YVR to YYZ and then on to Drama-less Island. It's kinda like the Canadian kids cartoon called "Total Drama Island" that loosely followed the "Survivor" format, only in this version there are no Loin Fruits and therefore there will be no self-centred soul sucking drama. It will be just my LOBSTER and I. My plan is to have mojitoes for breakfast.

     And what of the Loin Fruits? We elicited the aid of the Sages to conduct the over watch at the WAYWARD INN much to the consternation of the senior Couch Monkey. Life's rough buttercup.

     So, Dear Readers you may not be hearing from me for a while but trust in that you will be getting a full run down on all of the juicy details. How about a selfie on the Bay of Pigs? Or maybe from inside Omar Khadr's cell in Guantanamo?  Surely, as a Canadian citizen the US military would let me take a peek inside.  Maybe not.

TTFN

    

Time is Drawing Near.

08:40 hrs.
14 Sep 15

     Yes, time is drawing near for a great number of things. Here in the VALLEY the new cable ferry at Buckley Bay has finally arrived. The training work ups, from all indications is going well and the vessel is slated to be fully operational in the next month or so. It won't make a lick of difference to the residents of Denman Island. Their hatred of BC Ferries runs so deep that any company vehicles left on the the island are routinely vandalized. FRICKIN HOODLUMS!

     Work on the new hospital is sceaming along too. The number of temporary workers has increased exponentially and evidence of their numbers is evident by the lack of parking anywhere within 500 metres from the work site. The new firehall and training centre on the other side of the road is also going up fast. Another major project is the addition of another traffic lane on Lerwick. When  completed there will be four ĺanes from Ryan Rd. all the way to the intersection with Valley View Dr. Its about bloody time.  Anyone with a student at Isfeld will attest to the problem of turning right and merging with the flow of traffic when school lets out. If the City of Courtenay engineers had any clue they would put in a set of traffic lights at the entrance to the school that would allow vehicles to exit safely. This work will go on until November at least. Unless you have to travel through the area I would avoid it during peak traffic times.

     The next big project is the straightening of Vanier Drive through to Dove Creek Rd. and the replacement of the bridge over the Tsolum River. That project hasn't started yet, except for the surveying, but it is supposed to be completed the same time as the new hospital in 2017.

     Have you set your dvr for the new season of your favourite tv shows? The new season of Big Bang Theory starts on 21 September. I don't know which direction the program is going to go in the character development. There are now so many different plots that my BETTER HALF often laments that the first few seasons were better as the characters were much more nerdy and that was what the show was all about. Nerds trying to cope in a real world environment. Personally, I am looking forward to Elementary.

     This just in...an American airlines pilot boarded the wrong plane and flew it to Hawaii. Not that the plane couldn't go to Hawaii. It wasn't scheduled to go to Hawaii. In fact, it hadn't been certified for a flight to Hawaii and I don't think the passengers really wanted to go to Hawaii.  Imagine if you're sitting on an aircraft waiting to taxi out from the gate on your long awaited vacation. You watch as the plane next to you, same type and from the same airline is pushed back. No big deal. You've seen it a hundred times. And you wait and wait and WAIT for your turn. Nothing happens because your pilots are on the other plane. All systems go. Imagine being a passenger on the other plane and you were supposed to be headed to Tuscon when you notice youve been flying over water for more than an hour. Too funny.

     A quick note Dear Readers.  The posts to comoxvalleyviews may be lacking over the next couple of weeks as my LOBSTER and yours truly will be on hiatus. Never fear the Couch Monkeys will be under the control of the Sages. Boy are they in for a rude awakening!

What's up in your Corner of the Valley?

18:50 hrs.
08 Sep 15

     So, how's it hanging? What's up in your neck of the woods?

     Word has it a logging truck dumped its load on Hwy 19, effectively blocking both sides of the divided highway and closing it between Hamm to Dove Creek Road. Speaking of blockages, today was the first day of school for all the little yard apes and couch monkeys. My two Loin Fruits wandered into their educational institution to retrieve their class schedules. No real issues. They pretty much got the classes the needed or wanted. Now, will they excell in those classes? They'll get out what they put in and to the victor the spoils. Of course, they don't understand this concept because they are of the experience no failure generation.

     Pure un-adulterated Bullshit!

     Hey Kidlets...its time to wake up and smell the stench of fear. The fear of failing. Its a huge part of life and its gonna happen. So, get used to it. Improse, Adapt and Overcome. (Just a little something I learned from Clint Eastwood in the movie Heartbreak Ridge. Its a bit dated now, but if you haven't seen it it's high time you did.)

     Have you had a problem with bambis on the roadways? There is an awful lot of them around the Valley, especially near THE WAYWARD INN. Several large (six points or more) stags have been seen stalking the does. The rut is starting in earnest. Up on the Beaufort mountains the bull elk will be herding the cows and bulging to their rivals. If you're OUT IN THE WEEDS you just might hear them. And speaking about hearing things OUT IN THE WEEDS, Dr. J. Bindernagel has headed off to Malcolm Island to check out a 'squatch that has been vocalizing near some residences on a fairly regular basis. I wish I had the opportunity to go and do my own investigation. Yes, Dr. John is a biologist but he's too much the scientist. Always looking for other reasons. Hey John, how about using Occam's Razor for a change. The results just might surprise you.

     Have you been following the electioneering? I hope you have. I have tried to contact our local candidate and all I have only heard (and received ) lip service. I have received no answers to my very important questions. I'm in a quandary. I like this party. I have supported this party but if I don't get the answers to my questions then I will cast my ballot elsewhere.  You should be doing the same. Ask questions of your candidate and if you don't get the answers you like take your vote to a different party. Do Not spoil your ballot. Be part of the solution. Neglecting to vote means you have no right to complain about a politicians actions if you could gave removed him from office. Whether is civic, provincial or federal. Get out and VOTE.

     I am happy to announce that one of my favourite strip cartoonist has returned to the panel. Berkeley Breathed has restarted his famous satirical comic as -  Bloom County 2015. In my opinion Bloom County is one of the better strips out there. The character are complex,  dynamic and cute too. In fact, I have Opus tattooed on my back.

     So, the Loin Fruits did their initial day at school. They returned with a sheet of paper entitled "Protocol and Consent Form". On was a series of boxes to be checked that we, both parent/guardian and student, have read and understand the Rules of the School, including the consequences of non-compliance. It's purely an administrative form that the school board uses so if they have to punt your kid out because he's being a little shit they don't have to explain to you the reason why.