So, This is new...

21:00 hrs.
29 Dec 15

     Usually I do the vast majority of my blogging with my phone but tonight I am writing this little piece on the laptop, which is much easier to manage the spacing, inserting of photos and all the rest of that stuff. I know that I do have a small dedicated group of individuals, mostly relatives and some close friends, who consistently follow my musings, rants and positions. But I never see any comments. If we, my Lobster and I, visit a restaurant and I blog that it is good or a piece of shit, it would be nice to know that my opinion mattered. If you read it here and it was of assistance or if you have a difference of opinion then please bloody well tell me. I would like to engage with my audience. No audience is not the right word as the word audience leaves me with the image of a group  placidly digesting what is being fed to them. I want more than an audience. I want a caucus. A group of like minded individuals actively discussing a given topic. Can we do that? Actively discuss a topic? The topic would normally be the contents of the blog itself but I am open to discussing or blogging about a topic that is suggested by you. Whaddya think?


     A bit of Valley construction news update.
     The strip mall building to the immediate south of the 17th St. bridge is being re-purposed for a VIHA Mental Health unit. The old Pizza Hut will become the tanning salon that was part of the strip mall. Cuts and Curls has pulled out that location and is now out by Wally World. I had spotted the inside of the Wendy's restaurant having been torn apart and I was under the impression that it was possibly moving into the old Pizza Hut, which when you think about it wouldn't have worked as there is no drive thru. I was wrong it was simply a whirlwind remodelling during which the interior portion of the restaurant was not available but the drive thru was still up and running.

 

    

     I am sure that you have seen pics like this sent unrequested to your Facebook page. Some of them I like and I hang onto for future use, such as now. I kinda like this one but despite the fact that stupid people make a lot of people angry, you still have to manage your anger. It doesn't matter how but you have to manage it, That doesn't mean you're not allowed to get angry, you most certainly are but take a look at what you are getting angry about. Is it really worth me getting pissed that someone didn't complete his paperwork at the office? If it was his responsibility then no. If I am his supervisor and if I have asked for his paperwork to be in and it isn't then there will be disciplinary ramifications.

    

     Just let shit go. Hey, if your Loin Fruit doesn't take out the trash don't sweat it. Hang onto it and next time they're free and about to do something they want to do something with their friends tell them, "Sure, Right after we do the dump run!" This is my better Half's solution which is better than mine which would be to do one of the following:

• Pile it up in his room.
• Make him bag it all and pay for the extra garbage tags for the pick up on the following week.
• Pack it into the truck, do the dump run myself but save the receipt and collect from him later.
• Bag it all and make him carry it to the dump. 

     Whaddya think? Any of these strike a cord with you? What are some of your ideas? Please share them!  I know that I can come up with a million and one ways to make an individual's life a living hell but the object is to gain compliance without the anger as anger leads to disharmony. And, I certainly don't want that. It's kind of like my job. Compliance through education. But in the end, if buddy continues to be an asshole and ignore the law I can issue a fine in the hundreds of dollars. I can't fine the Yard Apes.

 

 

    



Did you get what you asked for?

07:50
26 Dec 15

 

     So, it's the day after Christmas and there are probably an equal number individuals here in the Valley, and across the globe, who are either happy with the gifts they received or unhappy with the gifts that they received. Well, I hate to disappoint these opposing factions but the point of Christmas is not in the gifts received but in the gifts given. You and I both know that the number of people who attend church on a regular basis is far less than when we were kids. Couple that with the exponential increase in the commercialism of Christmas and the meaning behind the "Christmas Gift" has been perverted. People are now wondering what they will get and sometimes demanding what they want.

 

    

     Wake up people!

    

     Christmas is about Christ.  Specifically, the birth of Christ. Yes, I know that the celebration of His birth was arbitrarily changed to December by the Church because it needed a winter celebration to counter the pagans Winter Solstice dance party. The original Christmas gift was in the giving His Son to us. It wasn't something we asked for. It wasn't something on our list, right after a new flat screen and the X-Box. It was something that He figured that we needed and would benefit from. That's it. The point behind a Christmas gift is in the giving. An unselfish act in providing something that somebody may need and may benefit from. Here ended the Lesson.

 

     Yes, there is snow on the ground in the Valley.  Not a lot, hardly a couple of inches but its enough to make driving difficult because no one knows how to drive in it or on it.  It's like...Holy shit! There's snow on the road so I'll close my eyes while accelerating and turning the wheels wildly from side to side. Idiots. Almost all of them are idiots and the majority of the remainder are nose picking dolts. Plan your shopping trips and your driving routes to avoid these people.

 

     I am looking forward to the New Year. Hopefully, my employers will have picked up the contract for the adjacent jurisdiction. I have only been hounding them to do it for the past couple of years. The time is right as the place has been going to the dogs and the residents would certainly benefit from our expertise. But, if my employers don't act now the residents will be chasing their own tails for at least another year.

 

     Sometime in the New Year construction will begin on the new road and bridge across the Tsolum River. Traffic on the current roadway should not be hindered during the construction which is supposed to concluded in late 2017, the same time as the opening of the new hospital. In fact there is lots of new stuff being built around the Valley.  Unfortunately, there is lots of old shops that are left empty and unused. You know that the rent must be exorbitant when it's cheaper for a business to move into a brand new building that continue paying some business slum lord rental payments that are continually jacked up every year without benefitting from any building maintenance.

 

 

00:30
27 Dec 15

 

     Did any of you brave the Boxing Day Sale insanity? Here at the Wayward Inn we shuttered ourselves in from the snow and the mobs. Instead, we scavenged a brunch from leftovers, played some PS2 golf and watched Roger Waters-The Wall. A good day, for the most part. We are still hopeful that Elric the Stalwart, along with his clan, will join us for New Years but plans always change.

 

     It is almost years end which means the next thing to contemplate will be the paying of the taxes. It is my hope that I have sold enough copies of my book to dump those monies into the RRSP and thereby deferring the increase in reported income. I have to claim it because if I don't it would be just my luck to be audited. Of course, my record keeping is not up to Li'l Sis's standards but I can fill in the blanks quickly if I have to. My goal is to complete the book I am currently working on and eventually one more. If properly marketed they could be a nice addition to the more regular means of income.
 

Guests at the Wayward Inn

17:30
19 Dec 15

     The Holiday Season is fast approaching. In fact, it is right in top of us.  If you have completed your shopping by now it is too late for any thoughtful gifts and unfortunately any intended recipients will probably be receiving items grabbed off of the aisle end - caps of the nearest GasnGo. And, if you have a pet, there is no amount of wrapping paper that will cover up the scent of Jack Link's Jerky.

     We've had a few guests here at the Wayward Inn. My Cuz'n and her Lobster,  formerly of River City, stopped in after a Soiree. It was good to see them and to see how well they are doing since moving back to the Capital Region. Now we'll have a place to crash when we head down south. Recently, my Better Half held one of her Ladies Movie Nights which, due to the weather, was not as well attended as she had hoped. Doesn't matter much to me as I try to make myself scarce, retreating to the confines of the other side of the Inn. This time I had company, Elric the Stalwart, was accompanying his Lady to the Inn. The two of us, plus the Junior Loin Fruit, hid out in the bonus room and watched the movie "Dutch". In my opinion this is the best Christmas movie ever right after "A Christmas Carol" starring Alistair Simms. If you haven't seen it and want a laugh or two take a look.

     Yesterday, we had the pleasure of entertaining B&B. They're a young couple just starting out. I've known her through Scouting and he has been her significant other for a number of years. When I hear of how rough life is for someone of the current crop of YAW's (Young Adult Whiners). Having to do homework or take out the trash or eat at the table with their family without checking the damn smart phone every ten seconds while worrying if someone has liked their post more than someone else's post. It's then that I just have to think of the extreme difficulties this young lady has had to overcome and despite it all graduated with a pocket full of bursaries that she didn't even apply for. It is at that point that I really enjoy pointing out to the YAW's that Sympathy to their plight can be found in Webster's Dictionary between Shit and Syphilis.

     Today, my Better Half's Travelling Relatives came to the Inn for brunch. It's always great to see them. A conversation with other adults is such a delight. For brunch we served up two crust less quiches, one veggie and one seafood, with a side salad. For dessert there was their fantastic coffee cake along with our apple snow. Our entertainment was a challenging game of golf (cards) played out with my Lobster being the victor. Ha Zaaa!

     We are planning to have even more guests at the Inn. On Christmas Eve we will be sharing our repast with Elric the Stalwart and his family. It will be a first for us, having people in from outside the family during the Holidays. But you know what? That's what the holidays are all about. Sharing what you have. Providing shelter and good will to others without any reservations.

    
     Speaking of reservations, have you ever seen the movie "No Reservations"? Came out a few years ago. Stars Catherine Zeta-Jones who plays a high end chef. A great story line too. Again, you should check it out.

     If you have seen my Facebook page you will note that I have been gifted with a beer advent calendar. Today is day 19 and thus far there have been no doubles. I have noticed that friends from afar have been posting pictures of the ales, stouts and ipa's that they are imbibing. Good on ya.
    

One Never Knows...

18:05 hrs.
09 Dec 15

     Who knows when their number is up? Do you? I am sure that if you happen to be a risk taker, and all of us are to some extent, then you must realize that the greater the risk level the sooner you number will be called. As well as the greater number of risks taken increases the number of times your number may be called. This is just a general rule but sometimes your number gets called simply because some other individual is shooting with loaded set of dice. Take those killed by an impaired driver. Years ago, when I was just a youngun,  I had a Cuz'n killed by an impaired driver.

19:09 hrs.
11 Dec 15

     It's the end of the week. Thank goodness. A week of work that contained hurricane winds, a death and a funeral. And now. ..The Ghost and Mr. Chicken. An old Don Knotts movie. Pure brain candy. No thinking required. And pure fun too. If you can't chuckle at Don Knotts there must be something wrong with you.  I think it's good to watch some of the old movies and the like. Abbott and Costello have always cracked me up ..."two tens for a five?" My youngest Loin Fruit actually caught one of the Sage's with that one.

     News around the Valley? 
     Well, the Courtenay River is running high and fast with all the rain that has fallen in the past week so stay the hell away from it. I would dare to guess that there has been a couple hundred millimeters of rain and since the freezing level is near 3000ft the precip is more rain than snow. And speaking snow...Mount Washington is open for business as of today. As previously written Fun on the Slopes has become another pastime for the wealthy. The Wendy's is either moving or undergoing massive reno's but supposedly the drive thru is still open. I don't know what the hell is going on at the strip mall by the 17th Street Bridge. All new facings which looks good but at the same time more businesses have packed it in. Cuts n Curls is now in a new location by Wally World. The local PC gamers paradise, Games and Grounds, recently moved from behind the old Ptomane Lo's Garden to 4th Ave.

     Christmas is two weeks away. I have all but two stocking stuffers done. Not bad two evenings of trudging through the stores and I was done. All that's left to do is the wrapping.
    

And Once Again...

22:05 hrs.
02 Dec 15

     If you have not heard the news of the day there has been another mass shooting South of the 49th.  This time in southern California. The last count had fourteen dead and seventeen injured. The attack was carried out by multiple assaults with long guns (rifles) and handguns. Is anyone shocked by this? Obviously not. One report has shown that since the beginning of Prez Obama's  second term there has been one mass shooting, where two or more persons are hit with gunfire, per week. Pure insanity! And the right wings (NRA,TEA PARTY, & REPUBLICAN PSYCHO'S) insane response will inevitably be "if the staff at the facility were armed they could have defended themselves and there would have been less victims".  More stupidity. One political cartoonist that I follow has pointed out that in light of the continual gun carnage it would appear that the US Administration is more afraid of the NRA than they are of ISIS. Think about it. If the people of the US really wanted gun control reform they would move forward with the appropriate legislation.

     If this is true, and apparently it is, why would the 'Merican politicians not bring about changes that would save lives? Well, the antiquated 2nd Ammendment gives them the Right to keep and Bear arms. And, more importantly, MONEY. The NRA and it's associates are huge financial  donors to the right wing political base. The fat cats in Congress would rather see the loss of red stuff as opposed to green stuff.

     Another post spotted, this time on the CBC website, questions whether or not Canadians will be as generous with our First Nations as we are with the incoming Syrian refugees. Is the reporter actually questioning this? First of all the Syrian refugees are fleeing their country  because the odds are they will be killed by one of a half dozen militaristic factions that includes the current ruling regime. And so, they seek out a better life in a safer place. They have nothing!

     Now, compare that to the First Nations of Canada who consistently receive tax free monies, live on lands devoid of chattles, can attend post-secondary education for next to nothing and can aspire to be anything they want to be. But regardless of all of these benefits a large majority of our First Nations live in abject poverty because their own leaders are corrupt. The data shows that there has been more than enough monies handed over to the country's Band Councils to lift them out of their rut but where are they living? What is their education level? What is their percentage of employment? A lot of what is given to our First Nations is squandered and yet they come back for more. So, do not ask me if the people of Canada will be as generous with them as we will be with the Syrian refugees. I say the First Nations with the Syrians should swap living conditions for a year, a month or even a week AND THEN we will see if they will appreciate what the people of Canada provides to all of its citizens regardless if they have lived here for 100 generations or they just arrived at a re-settlement location.

06;00 hrs.
04 Dec 15

    
     There's a new addition at the Wayward Inn.  I have replaced the 2001 Ford Explorer Sport Trac with a 2014 Ram 1500 5.7l Hemi. Why? Well, the Ford was showing it's age. Not in the body but in a lot of little things that would need fixing. Sticky door locks, jambing windows, winter ignition issues. Don't get me wrong. I really loved the Sport Trac. When going Out In The Weeds I could pack enough stuff into that truck for three expeditionairies, slog through swamps, forde swollen creeks and climb hills that would make a billy goat puke. I'll surely miss it.

     Now the new truck...well, time will only tell. Driving it places me higher up off the road increasing my traffic sight line and I take up more of my traffic lane. The cockpit controls are pretty much stock as this is not a higher end version -  read less stuff. I know there is more room in the box and when Out In The Weeds there will be much more room for the Big Swede and Youngblood. In fact, there will be enough space for the three of us, our gear and a couple of Newbies. Can't wait until I can go out 'squatchin again.
    

What to do?

07:50 hrs.
24 Nov 15

     Christmas is getting closer and I have no idea what to do. Rather, I have no idea what to get my loved ones. I'm sure it will come to me. In the mean time there are other things afoot here in the Valley.

     With the former Bonds-Fish and Grease shop now long since demolished the new lawyers office of Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe is well into construction. Two floors. Pitched roof. Parking in the rear. Should be some nice digs for a legal team. What do you call a fifty passenger bus full of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat? A crying shame. A cruise ship sinks in the South Pacific and everyone gets eaten by the sharks except for the lawyers. Why? Professional courtesy. Actually, if I hadn't joined the military I should have gone into law. Any of you know me you would agree that it would have been a wise decision. But, looking back I would not have traded my service to Canada.

     The weather has certainly turned here in the Valley.  Cold and clear. And windy. Of course, if there is no precip there is a lack of snow on the mountains. But it will happen. If there is one thing we never lack on the Left Coast is precip in the winter. We just need it to be colder than 7°C in the Valley for it to be snowing on the mountain.

15:40 hrs.

     I have finished reading "A Walk in the Woods" (Bill Bryson). An excellent book for anyone who is unafraid to laugh out loud. I highly recommend it, especially if you have done any hiking at all. My Lobster wants to give it a read but she is currently engaged with a different tome so I have passed it on to a friend who is suffering from a serious medical issue and is in the need of a good chuckle. I have started a new read. "Mother Nature is trying to Kill You" (Dan Riskin, PH. D.) It is yet another pragmatically funny book. It won't take me long to plow through it so if you have any suggestions for me please pass them along.

     As far as books go, my new book is slogging along. I haven't really hit my stride with it yet but if I keep plugging away I hope to have it done by next summer. I wonder if my Better Half 's Travelling Cuz'n will be up to the challenge of editing it for me? I know it will cost me but in the long run what's a few home cooked meals and a couple bottles of wine while visiting the Wayward Inn? At this point I don't know how many pages it will be as I don't even have a rough draft done. I'm thinking about 400 pages or so. But, it will be costlier if I am to include colour photos. I do plan on utilizing the same company in the Valley to upload it to Createspace (Amazon).

22:25 hrs.

     My Better Half and I had to shuttle the Loin Fruits about this evening and in transit across the City I spotted that the Wendy's burger place had been gutted out. The place was an empty shell. I think it is going to be relocating at the old Pizza Slop location at the corner of 17th and Cliffe. If this is true, the burger joint will do better because their original location had to be the shittiest site in the world. Zero parking because of the strip mall and a drive thru built by (and for) VW sized cars did not make things easy in attracting customers. The Couch Monkey in the back seat spotted a Pet Value outlet had moved into the deserted Taco Del Mar restaurant by the Bulk Barn. Things are certainly a ' changing here in the Valley.

    

How much does your fun cost?

18:15 hrs.
19 Nov 15

     So there I was, cruising down the road in the work truck, when I heard in the radio (CBC 1) that the price for a lift ticket at Whistler is $125. I think Mt. Washington is $85 a day. Now, add to that your gear, fuel, food and possible accommodations and is it any wonder that only the Uber Rich can afford the sport? And what kind of sport is it? Stand on top of a tall slippery slope with sleds on your feet and slide down. Big deal. You want a sport? Try not to or Go Up! Wow! Look at that bastard go up that mountain.

     Rumour has it that construction will soon begin on the the new road from Headquarters to Dove Creek including a new two lane bridge. This will eliminate three 90° corners. Time for completion is to coincide with the opening of the new hospital in 2017. Too bad the Blue Bridge in Victoria won't be completed by then. Cost over runs and time delays have pushed that project back to 2018. It was a two part project. The design and the construction. Sounds simple enough but some moron decided to source the steel from China - because it would save money. Right. So, with no quality control in place the first batch of components arrive and guess what? It's all a load of shit.  Back to the drawing board. Get rid of the steel. Convince the manufacturer that there must be an on site QA inspector (I bet that made someone crap in his rice bowl) or the steel would be sourced elsewhere and then start the assembly process all over again. Crazy. If what I heard is true the project is damn near a million score over budget.

     Next week the Loin Fruits will be getting their report cards. Will I be grousing about them? Not a chance. If they don't pass they don't graduate and if they don't graduate they will end up flipping burgers for the rest of their lives. And once they are 19, we, my Lobster and I, just might downsize to a motor home.  Heading for Arizona. See ya later kids. The fact that you spent your time gaming instead of studying is not my problem so get out and find out what life is really all about.

     I have been informed that a great many teens nowadays are suffering from all sorts of anxiety disorders. What the hell is that all about? What have you got to be anxious about? The Cold War is over! Interest rates are in the single digits! Knowledge and communication is literally at your finger tips! I just don't get it. Maybe it's the infectious political correctness society that we live in. It would make sense. Try buying a set of Christmas lights. Can't be done. Holiday Lights or Seasonal Lights.
BULLSHIT!

     If you want to put lights on your house at Christmas time they are called Christmas lights. Would you have the Israelis change the name of the menorah because it looks more like half a candlabra and the Jewish state will tell you to take a flying leap off of the Wailing Wall. It's time to get real people and everyone has to learn to live with just a skosh of unpleasantness. The world is not perfect so stop trying to live a life of rainbows and butterflies because when that truckload of manure lands on your doorstep it will be game over. Maybe it's the drugs. Not the recreational kind. The pharmaceutical type. Prozac to be specific. Maybe the school system is handing out free Prozac. Think about it. As long as they're on Prozac they have no worries but when they're off they can't even tie their bloody shoelaces without worrying if someone is watching them. Think about it.

     Have you seen any good movies lately? My Senior Couch Monkey went to see the new Bond movie. He said it was good except for the gratuitous Bond sex scene. It's Bond. Lay off the Prozac and get over it.
    

What would you do?

10:05 hrs
14 Nov 15

     What would you do?
     Faced with the realization of the brutal attacks in Paris I ask you: "What would you do if you were faced with armed terrorists?"

     A friend of mine posted to Facebook that one possible response would be to rise up and charge the individuals. He says that "Yes, some people would die in the attempt but the odds would be in the mobs favour to capture the perp." However, in the recent incident in Paris the attackers were wearing explosive vests and after emptying their Kalishnikovs at random targets they simply blew themselves up which killed more innocents.

     The group ISIS has now claimed responsibility for these attacks. Personally, I do not know what can be done to eliminate this group. But I do know one thing, the people of France will not rest until a decisive blow has been dealt to this terrorist group. The only thing worse would be if it had been Israel who had been attacked because the only thing worse than a pissed of Frenchman is a pissed off Israeli. Either way, this terrorist group will now be hunted to the ends of the earth. French president Hollande has stated "France will be merciless toward the barbarians of Islamic State group".

     On a more local note, the Valley has survived a huge wind and rain storm that has dumped a fresh layer of the white stuff high on the Beauforts. It looks real pretty too. I am sure the new owners of Mt. Washington Ski Resort are happy to finally see the arrival of some snow. This group of investors already own four similar resorts at which the have snow making machines. Because the volume of snow on Mt. Washington is very dependent on the bands of precipitation sweeping in from the coast I am sure that snow makers will soon be positioned on the Island in the event of a low precip season.

     Corn Bread.
     Do you like it?
     There are different types of corn bread. Here at the Wayward Inn 50% of us enjoy the corn meal style. The only thing close to it can be enjoyed at The Great Island BBQ at the top of Fifth Ave. and Fitzgerald.  It's so good I could go there to simply eat corn bread and drink beer. You can find a similar recipe in the Company's Coming - Muffins and More cookbook. Look for the Johnny Cake recipe on page 113. I add cubes cheddar cheese and three tbsp of chili flakes to liven it up. You're welcome.

07:30 hrs.
15 Nov 15

     It is the Ides of November. Julius Caesar was slain on the Ides of March, as Willy Shakespeare reminds us. The Ides are nothing more than the "middle of" and, since the months of our Julian Calendar have more or less 30 days, the 15th of the month is considered to be the Ides of the month.

     Today is a crisp day in the Valley. Vehicles look frosty. We have a brunch reservation at Mar's on Main. An eclectic restaurant out in the Wild Wild West. We are going there for our Senior Couch Monkey's birthday meal. They have an outstanding brunch menu. I'm thinking a West Coast Benny with smoked salmon and lump crab meat for me and I don't  really care what the neophytes want. Loin Fruit #2 will probably have the same. My Lobster will have a plain Benny.  Hete will be none of that swimming type food for her. And the Bday Boy will probably have a short stack and bacon or waffles and bacon. Both of which he could have had at home. One point of eating out is to have things you can not make at home. Am I wrong?

So, Here I Sit...

13:05
10 Nov 15

     5°C / Winds SSE @ 35 knots

     That's right! The current temp and winds are applicable as winter is now upon us. Everything done outside is now dependant on the weather. At the moment I am watching the massive reconstruction of 7 Hanger here at CFB. The roof is being re-insulated, asbestos is being removed, windows replaced and sheeting being applied. A big job to be sure and it doesn't stop there. There are roads being rebuilt and other buildings that are under te-development. The total cost? Who the hell knows. That knowledge is way above my pay grade. And the greatest hindrance to the contractors is not the weather but the beauracracy of the DCC (Defence Construction Canada). To be sure the workers just want to work but it's the step by bloody step monitoring by DCC that's a pain in the rump.

     With Halloween over I know that my Better Half is chomping at the bit for me to get the Christmas lights up at the Wayward Inn. It's a huge undertaking that is also dependent on the weather conditions but the main sticking point the observance of Rememberance Day. There are some whose decorations are on the process of going up or have just gone up. To them I say, "SHAME ON YOU!"

     We, as a people, must remember those who sacrificed themselves so we can live in a free and just society.

     We, as a people, must remember those who sacrificed themselves for the protection and safety of others.

     We, as a people, must recognize those who defend and protect the people who reside in the face of tyranny.

     So, get off your ass. Go find yourself a veteran and say thank you.

     Life at the Wayward Inn is becoming insular. Meals are leaning towards being rich and nutritious. Personally, I am yearning for a fine stew complete with root vegetables and a thick sauce. Beef or chicken. Back at the Sage's, I would often enjoy creamed chicken which was kinda like a stew. Start with a whole chicken cut into pieces. Flour and brown in a pan then transfer it to a baking dish. Bake it at 350 for an hour then pour in a litre of half and half. Throw in some onions and peppers, some pats of butter and bake covered for another half hour. Pure comfort food. I would serve it with a smashed yam and potato mixture.

     Do you like games? Real games. Not some one on one shoot me up crap. Board games. Card games. Something you can challenge your partner to and have a discussion with at the same time. My Lobster and I used to play Scrabble till the wee hours of the morn. We still play but we have added Cribbage and several other card games to our repetoire. I'm hoping that the Loin Fruits will join in more often but prying them from the glow of their monitors is becoming increasingly difficult. Maybe if I was able to teach them how to play euchre they would join in more. It's worth a try.

     I have a new task. I have been tying flies for my L'il Brown back in the 'Peg. These are special flies designed for catching Slough Sharks. Now a Slough Shark is a special breed of fish akin to a barracuda. Long and lean with a mouth full of teeth. Catching one is a lot of fun but to take one on a fly rod is pure insanity. When my Li'l Brown was visiting the Wayward Inn this past summer he had expressed an interest in this. So, for Christmas I figured that would set him up with some lures designed to entice an Esox Lucious. www.pikeonthefly.com.

Time to Blog

07 Nov 15
19:00 hrs

    A lot has taken place since my last blog Dear Readers. An expedition Out in the Weeds, some observations about the Valley and a Rant or two just to keep you entertained.

     So, last weekend I headed Out in the Weeds. I can't tell you were I was other than the fact that I was on the mainland east of Chilliwack. Expedition locations are held on a need to know basis and unless you plan on attending you will be in the dark. Speaking of which, in addition to beaucoup de pluie, the amount of  available daylight at this time of year put us in the dark for the better part of the day. In fact, by the time we would wake up it would be time to eat lunch and then prep for the next nights outing. We had limited success. There were some vocalization and wood knock returns but there were no sightings and no tracks were cast. One major problem was the volume and intensity of the rain. Despite listening to the weather forecast there were some in the group who were totally unprepared for an outing on the Left Coast.

     Live and Learn.

    
     But, all in all, it was a great time. Old friends and new ones. Once again, the Big Swede, Youngblood and I worked as a team often heading out by ourselves through various valleys and through different cut blocks. We saw no Yogis but the Ricky were rather prevent. We spotted one that was missing half it's tail, probably to some hungry Wile E. We saw this same Ricky twice more on that valley slope at various elevations. Even on the R2 thermal unit you could tell it was him by the stumpy tail. The only other interesting event was playing chicken with a Pepe les Pew as it snaked across the road in front of the truck. Lots of dodging and weaving, folks.

     From what I was told Halloween at the Wayward Inn went quite well. Both Couch Monkeys had alternative plans so my Lobster manned the ramparts to ditribute goodies to all the ghosts and goblins. The count was nearly 150 trick or treaters. Pretty good I would say.

     Construction is continuing on the new hospital. And it will continue until 2017. But, who in the hell chose the colours adorning the outer walls? It's as if the architect wanted to punish VIHA for some insignificant slight. Or, some VIHA bean counter is trying to save a few hundred thousand by using up all the shitty coloured siding that no one this side of a Braille Hostel would want to look at. Hey, don't rag on me. If you've seen it, then you know what I'm talking about. A good note is that someone has placed, not only a Canadian flag but, a Legionaires poppy flag high on the building superstructure. Pretty cool. The whole Valley likes it.

     The new cable ferry at Buckley Bay is still not working. In the course of my job I was out there today and asked some people how it was going with the new bateau. It's not! The word is that it is running too slow from teminal to terminal. It was supposed to be fully operational in September. A delay in the arrival of the vessel from the shipyard and the delays in the testing regimens is only proving that the upper echelon of BC Ferries has their heads up their collective arses. Ask any Denman or Hornby Islander and they will tell you the same thing.

     My Better Half has come across a new slow cooker cook book. It's a magazine actually. Due to our hectic schedule we have started using this appliance more often. Last week while I was Out in the Weeds she made Mongolian Beef and tonight we put together Thai Pork tacos with hand made tortillas and shiracha coleslaw. For some extra heat I added some adobe peppers. If you think you're strong enough give them a whirl. A word of warning though. Drink your milk before hand.

     I'm sure that I have mentioned it already but if you haven't read it yet look for "A Walk in the Woods" by Bill Bryson. If you have done any hiking or camping at all you will piss yourself laughing. Speaking of books, I took ten copies of "Wood Knocks and Tossed Rocks" with me when I went Out in the Weeds. I lucked out and sold seven copies.

     I found out what I am NOT getting for Christmas.  A fifty year old single malt Glennfiddich scotch was sold in Vancouver for a paltry sum of $36 K. There are only fifty bottles in existence and only one was for sale in BC. Yes it is held in a hand blown leather wrapped silver necked bottle but $36 K would buy me my new truck and a hundred dollar bottle of Laphroaig would be just as good.

Twas the Night before...

20:00 hrs
28 Oct 15

     There's but one sleep left.
     The truck is packed with all of the gear. Food, lodgings, clothing and extraneous stuff. But all very necessary shit. Batteries for radios and mantles for the lantern. Water. There's a definite need. As is that blessed roll of white gold.

     And I'm off. Off my nut some would say. Tomorrow at O-Dark 30 I'll be heading for Duke Point. Returning on Sunday. Three dark rainy fun filled nights. On a good note I will be teamed up with the Big Swede and Youngblood once again. A sweet deal for sure. No Whiners, please and thank you.

     For this evenings repast my Better Half and I, along with Loin Fruit #2 went to Fluid. Nice place. Easy menu. The meals at our table included a shared bruschetta, a jersey chicken wrap, a seafood pasta bowl and a flat iron steak sandwich (rare). If you know us you should be able to figure out who ate what.

     When we pulled into the parking at Fluid the first thing spotted was the giant penis on wheels. Some moron, with more money than God and no common sense, jacked his half ton pick me up truck and then out fitted it with wheels that belong on C-130 Hercules. Loin Fruit #2 quickly pointed out that the owner is quite obviously compensating for a miniscule portion of his anatomy. I know that somewhere in the Highway Traffic Act there is a law that pertains to modifying the height of a vehicle beyond its stock configuration as it could affect it's road worthiness. But, do the police do anything about it when these Dickheads drive by? Hell no. They would rather allow these low brow drivers continue to indimidate the motoring public than enforce the rule of law.

Counting down....Again!

07:40 hrs.
25 Oct 15

     Today is Sunday. That leaves Monday for working and two days to finish packing before I head Out in the Weeds. Four glorious days of tenting, eating camp food, getting very little rest, viewing the forest vistas and howling at the moon. The opportunity for me to participate in these excursions comes but once a year and so, when ever it presents itself I have to grab it, with my Lobster's permission of course.

     There is another Halloween function happening Downtown. On 31 October, the Gladstone Brew Pub at the corner of 4th and Cliffe (in conjunction with two other restaurants) is holding a come as you are bash. The times are stated as being from 13:00 hrs until "late". Kinda leaves it opened doesn't it. The party will continue as long as there are still a lot of patrons around. It was just the other day that my Better Half had said that to revitalize the downtown core the shops have to be willing to stay open longer and to hold events that will attract the public's participation.

22:40 hrs.
     If you haven't heard already there has been a tragedy off the west coast of The Rock. A whale watching tour boat capsized at approximately 16:00 hrs. There were twenty seven souls on board. At this time four are reported as deceased. Let's hope the remainder are rescued.

Viva le Difference

06:45 hrs.
21 Oct 15

     Yesterday, when the Junior Loin Fruit came home from school, he noted that I was watching some sort of law enforcement reality show. Go figure. I don't recall which one it was. Border Security, Rocky Mountain Cops or maybe it was Good Ole Ass Stompin' Southern Justice. Doesn't matter except there is a difference between those produced in Canada and those filmed south of the 49th. Especially, those filmed well below the 49th.

     So, on the screen was a shirtless individual who was being forced to the ground by three burly Boyz n Blue. There was a lot of calls of "Stop Resistin me!" Which is rather funny, as it would be virtually impossible for this 160 lb meth addict to resist the wishes of three 250+ lb armed cops.

     "Why are those cops pinning down that guy?"

     "Because he could be armed."

     "Do the police do that in Canada?"

     "No, because people in Canada are not usually carrying a gun where as below the 49th you can expect drivers to be armed."

     Thank GOD I live in Canada!

     On another note...I was out in the Wild Wild West today and I stopped at a favourite watering hole - The Cumberland Grind. The place has been rebuilt with new patio doors that actually stay closed and two new decks. I indulged myself with a Vampires Kiss. A mocha with raspberry flavoring and cayenne pepper (three shakes please).

It's all over but the crying or "Get out of my House!"

05:45 hrs.
20 Oct 15

     I would like to thank you Dear Readers for doing your part by participating in yesterday's federal election. The people have spoken and King Stephen is OUT OF HERE!

     Yes, there has been a changing of the guard. The Tories are out and the Liberals are in. Now I know that some of you have a deep seated hatred for anything connected to Trudeau but you have to remember that it was Trudeau Sr. who is the source of your pains. Get over it. It was, what, 40 or 50 years ago? The geo-political world was far different back then and as I had explained to some of you Olde Uncle Pete did what he had to do because he had to do it for the betterment of the country. Reducing the troop levels in Europe wasn't popular but neither were the Front Liberation du Quebec and the troops were needed at home to deal with our home grown terrorists. Wage and Price controls? Same shit different pile. The Canadian economy was sliding out of control and it had to be reigned it. Now here comes the new kid on the block. In all honesty, you can't paint him with his father's brush. Give him a chance. He might just do some good because anything is better than more of King Stephen's Reign of the Rich and Entitled.

     Now, what of the Orange Wave? Mulcair failed to perform on a grand scale. But, I am not surprised at the change. Look kids, its like this. Despite what you think, the Liberals and the NDP are pretty close in their ideology. At the last election those who flop their vote between those two parties knew the Justin was not ready and pushed the NDP up to be the Loyal Opposition. But this time,  to slap Stephen's hand a vast majority of that voting block catapulted Justin to be the next PM because he is ready. That, and I really don't think the People of Canada could stomach a socialist prime minister. In the end, the Right Coast is Red and the Left Coast is Orange.

     Today is also Patty's birthday. Forty-eight years ago Roger Patterson and Bob Gimlin were riding up Bluff Creek in northern California when the horses were spooked. Roger was thrown from his horse but managed to film a large hairy female primate that is now affectionately called (by those if us who go OUT IN THE WEEDS) as Patty.
     Happy Birthday Patty, where ever you may be.

Do it! Do it now!

08:45 hrs.
18 Oct 15

     So, here's the thing. I don't  particularly care what colour your political stripe is. Red, blue, orange or green. It just doesn't make any difference to me. What does make a difference is the apathy of the Canadian public towards our elected political leaders. And that is the key phrase. Elected.

     These individuals who stand up and argue in the House of Commons are your representatives. They work for you, or at least they are supposed to. Bu,t they are paid by you through your tax dollars. Now, as burdensome as the voting process is be thankful that we do not live South of the 49th. Their political system is so polarized that it is truly amazing if any thing gets accomplished. The one thing that is different, well two things, between them and us is that 'Mericans take the Right to Vote much more seriously than we do and they vote more often. In the middle of a governments four year term they hold a mid-term election where some positions are up for grabs. I don't know which ones but this event is often used by the voting public to voice their approval/disappoval of the ruling party when they cast their ballot and the re-election of the same individuals would be considered as the public's approval of the current government. There are also more non-governmental positions that are elected in the US. Judges, sherrifs, District Attorneys and a host of others are all elected by the public. Imagine the local RCMP detachment commander having to run for office every four years? Or the head of the Crown Attorneys office? What party would you want them to be aligned with. Would a sitting judge who was NDP be more effective than a Tory? Makes you think doesn't it. In the end it doesn't really  matter. What does matter is that You do your part an get your ass off the couch and head for a polling station to cast your vote. Remember, if you don't vote you have no right to complain.

17:30 hrs.

     What hell is up with the shopping stores in this Burg? All I want is an Otterbox to protect my phone that is any colour other than black. With all of the outlet stores handling this product in town you would figure that at least one would have this item in more than one colour.

     Not a fucking chance!

     Walmart? No.
     Staples? No.
     The kiosk in the mall? No.
     Best Buy? (Ah, the best for last.) In a word - NO. But to get to that point you have to endure the constant "Can I help you?" from the effervescent drug infused staff.
     "No, I'm just looking."
      And when you do ask if they have the item you need the circling vulture states that if it's not in the store they can order it in. Hell, I  can do that from Amazon and have it delivered to my house cheaper than what it is instore.  I just figured that being an electronics store they might just have an assortment of electronic goods that I could in fact purchase. Guess I was wrong.
      It's like going to Chapters to buy a book that they never have. Thousands of books. None of which I want to read. But, I could order it in.

     On the construction front someone is reconfiguring the old Pizza Hut at the corner of 17th and Cliffe. If anyone knows what it is going to be please let me in on the secret.

Been waiting long?

17:30 hrs.
13 Oct 15

     I am truly sorry Dear Readers. I have not forsaken you for some other menial occupation such as weed whacking or boot licking. My BETTER HALF and I have been trying to get back into the swing of things after our sojourn to Cuba.  We have actually caught ourselves looking at our watches and noting that we would still be hanging out on the beach or rocking gently in the surf, if we were still down there. In fact my LOBSTER has often mentioned what the current temperature was at the resort. That being said there is still no place lke home.

     For those of you who enjoy a walk in the woods may I suggest that you pick up a copy of "A Walk in the Woods" by Bill Bryson. It is an absolute riot. It came put a number of years ago but has been re-published to coincide with the release of the film starring Robert Redford and Nick Nolte. And speaking about a walk in the woods my best beloved LOBSTER is allowing me to attend the expedition on the mainland at the end of October. I know, I know. I'll miss Halloween and all the little ghoulies but since I am going to suss out one big ass monster I figure I won't miss much.

     How was your Thanksgiving?  We spent ours up at Alder Bay.  Three hours north as the crow flies. Go past Sayward. Go past the turn off to Woss and if you hit Port McNeil you have gone too far so turn around and head towards Telegraph Cove. We like going up there at this time of year because no one is there. Its also a time to abandon the electronic umbilical cords - no texting - no words with friends - etc... Well, try to push that concept onto our senior Couch Monkey and you are looking for a huge grumpy PITA, (PAIN IN THE ASS).

17:00 hrs.
14 Oct 15

     The Halloween decorations at THE WAYWARD INN are taking shape. The final coup des grais will be up to my BETTER HALF and the two Loin Fruits as I will not be here. I hope that it all turns out okay. It's a lot of little details but I am sure that they will be able to figure it out.

     And that's about it kidlets. I heard that the Jays won their division. Big whoopee! I would rather have a rectal exam performed on me by a horned toad than pay to watch a MLB game. Over paid entertainers and fat cat owners. So, stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

How many?

11:50 hrs.
04 Oct 15

     How many icebergs does it take to sink a ship? One, if you're the Titanic.

     How many different single malt whiskies are in my cupboard? Five, currently.

     How many pencils does it take to render a clothes dryer in operative? Only one, but three and a broken pen ensures that the squirrel cage will not move.

     I must take this time to thank my junior Loin Fruit for giving me the opportunity to utilize the skills I had acquired at the Habitat for Humanity Re-Store. Skills in tearing apart large appliances, inspecting them and then re-assembling them. Skills that, if not practiced, will be lost. Skills that have saved the family a $100 service bill. Be warned young padowan that the next time it happens I will be teaching you these skills or you can pay me for the repairs.

The Things You Need in Cuba!

17:55 hrs.
01 Oct 15

     Yes Dear Readers, I am back!
     Chef Blaine has returned to The WAYWARD INN.

     I must say that my LOBSTER and I had the most fantastic time at Breezes Veradaro on the Island of Cuba. It is an all inclusive resort. And by that, I mean the booze and food are FREE! But, it will still cost you. Let me explain so you can understand. TIPS. Everyone is looking for tips from the tourists. Why? Well, let's back up the history truck a bit. After the Cuban Revolution in the late 1950's and the October Crisis in 1962 a trade embargo was enacted between the US  and Cuba leaving the island nation exchanging goods with the Soviet Bloc. Cuba's prime export was sugar and the USSR bought a lot of sugar. Prior to 1990 Cuba was the third largest sugar producer in the world.

     So, what happened after 1990? Well Nancy, the Iron Curtain was coming down and the Soviets could no longer support themselves or any of their satellite countries. This left the Cubans, the Somalis and all the other Left Leaning countries out in the cold. Everyone knows what happened in Somalia but in Cuba they were a little better off. Not much but a little better. After the realization that the Cuban people would have to pull themselves out of the trenches about five years ago Castro allowed Cubans to own their own businesses. This means the Cuban people can work in a semi-open market.

Hear endeth the lesson

07:25 hrs.
04 Oct 15

     Face cloths
     Bar soap
     Imodium
     Large mug type drink holders with lids
     Toilet paper
     Zip loc bags to seal things
     Baby powder
     Snacks for in hotel room
     A sun hat
     Waterproof sunscreen

Still enroute!

08:35 hrs. EST
21 Sep 15

    So after an hour delay off of the Rock we had a thirty minute flight into YVR followed by six hour wait. Our four flight to YYZ was packed solid save the seat between yours truly and the mystery person pressed sleepily against the cabin wall. My BETTER HALF was seated across the aisle from me.

     The only good thing about flying into YYZ was the fact that we are leaving for VAR in four hours from landing. West Jet handled the luggage transfer and the only thing we had to do was search out some growlies at Caplansky's Deli. Good eats at air terminal prices. Thank goodness for holiday pay.

     09:01 hrs.
     We'll boarding soon Dear Readers. The flight to VAR from YYZ takes less time than it does to get to YYZ. Let it be known that by supper time on the Left Coast we will be pool side enjoying drinks with little umbrellas or at least a beer.

So this is it!

06:25 hrs.
20 Sep 15

     Today is the day.
     That's right. My LOBSTER and I are outta here. Heading for a warmer climate. And somewhere out of the 'Merican Sphere of Influence. Any guesses?

      Cuba! You are correct sir! Give the man a cigar!

     We are departing sometime this afternoon for a multi stage flight. YQQ to YVR to YYZ and then on to Drama-less Island. It's kinda like the Canadian kids cartoon called "Total Drama Island" that loosely followed the "Survivor" format, only in this version there are no Loin Fruits and therefore there will be no self-centred soul sucking drama. It will be just my LOBSTER and I. My plan is to have mojitoes for breakfast.

     And what of the Loin Fruits? We elicited the aid of the Sages to conduct the over watch at the WAYWARD INN much to the consternation of the senior Couch Monkey. Life's rough buttercup.

     So, Dear Readers you may not be hearing from me for a while but trust in that you will be getting a full run down on all of the juicy details. How about a selfie on the Bay of Pigs? Or maybe from inside Omar Khadr's cell in Guantanamo?  Surely, as a Canadian citizen the US military would let me take a peek inside.  Maybe not.

TTFN

    

Time is Drawing Near.

08:40 hrs.
14 Sep 15

     Yes, time is drawing near for a great number of things. Here in the VALLEY the new cable ferry at Buckley Bay has finally arrived. The training work ups, from all indications is going well and the vessel is slated to be fully operational in the next month or so. It won't make a lick of difference to the residents of Denman Island. Their hatred of BC Ferries runs so deep that any company vehicles left on the the island are routinely vandalized. FRICKIN HOODLUMS!

     Work on the new hospital is sceaming along too. The number of temporary workers has increased exponentially and evidence of their numbers is evident by the lack of parking anywhere within 500 metres from the work site. The new firehall and training centre on the other side of the road is also going up fast. Another major project is the addition of another traffic lane on Lerwick. When  completed there will be four ĺanes from Ryan Rd. all the way to the intersection with Valley View Dr. Its about bloody time.  Anyone with a student at Isfeld will attest to the problem of turning right and merging with the flow of traffic when school lets out. If the City of Courtenay engineers had any clue they would put in a set of traffic lights at the entrance to the school that would allow vehicles to exit safely. This work will go on until November at least. Unless you have to travel through the area I would avoid it during peak traffic times.

     The next big project is the straightening of Vanier Drive through to Dove Creek Rd. and the replacement of the bridge over the Tsolum River. That project hasn't started yet, except for the surveying, but it is supposed to be completed the same time as the new hospital in 2017.

     Have you set your dvr for the new season of your favourite tv shows? The new season of Big Bang Theory starts on 21 September. I don't know which direction the program is going to go in the character development. There are now so many different plots that my BETTER HALF often laments that the first few seasons were better as the characters were much more nerdy and that was what the show was all about. Nerds trying to cope in a real world environment. Personally, I am looking forward to Elementary.

     This just in...an American airlines pilot boarded the wrong plane and flew it to Hawaii. Not that the plane couldn't go to Hawaii. It wasn't scheduled to go to Hawaii. In fact, it hadn't been certified for a flight to Hawaii and I don't think the passengers really wanted to go to Hawaii.  Imagine if you're sitting on an aircraft waiting to taxi out from the gate on your long awaited vacation. You watch as the plane next to you, same type and from the same airline is pushed back. No big deal. You've seen it a hundred times. And you wait and wait and WAIT for your turn. Nothing happens because your pilots are on the other plane. All systems go. Imagine being a passenger on the other plane and you were supposed to be headed to Tuscon when you notice youve been flying over water for more than an hour. Too funny.

     A quick note Dear Readers.  The posts to comoxvalleyviews may be lacking over the next couple of weeks as my LOBSTER and yours truly will be on hiatus. Never fear the Couch Monkeys will be under the control of the Sages. Boy are they in for a rude awakening!

What's up in your Corner of the Valley?

18:50 hrs.
08 Sep 15

     So, how's it hanging? What's up in your neck of the woods?

     Word has it a logging truck dumped its load on Hwy 19, effectively blocking both sides of the divided highway and closing it between Hamm to Dove Creek Road. Speaking of blockages, today was the first day of school for all the little yard apes and couch monkeys. My two Loin Fruits wandered into their educational institution to retrieve their class schedules. No real issues. They pretty much got the classes the needed or wanted. Now, will they excell in those classes? They'll get out what they put in and to the victor the spoils. Of course, they don't understand this concept because they are of the experience no failure generation.

     Pure un-adulterated Bullshit!

     Hey Kidlets...its time to wake up and smell the stench of fear. The fear of failing. Its a huge part of life and its gonna happen. So, get used to it. Improse, Adapt and Overcome. (Just a little something I learned from Clint Eastwood in the movie Heartbreak Ridge. Its a bit dated now, but if you haven't seen it it's high time you did.)

     Have you had a problem with bambis on the roadways? There is an awful lot of them around the Valley, especially near THE WAYWARD INN. Several large (six points or more) stags have been seen stalking the does. The rut is starting in earnest. Up on the Beaufort mountains the bull elk will be herding the cows and bulging to their rivals. If you're OUT IN THE WEEDS you just might hear them. And speaking about hearing things OUT IN THE WEEDS, Dr. J. Bindernagel has headed off to Malcolm Island to check out a 'squatch that has been vocalizing near some residences on a fairly regular basis. I wish I had the opportunity to go and do my own investigation. Yes, Dr. John is a biologist but he's too much the scientist. Always looking for other reasons. Hey John, how about using Occam's Razor for a change. The results just might surprise you.

     Have you been following the electioneering? I hope you have. I have tried to contact our local candidate and all I have only heard (and received ) lip service. I have received no answers to my very important questions. I'm in a quandary. I like this party. I have supported this party but if I don't get the answers to my questions then I will cast my ballot elsewhere.  You should be doing the same. Ask questions of your candidate and if you don't get the answers you like take your vote to a different party. Do Not spoil your ballot. Be part of the solution. Neglecting to vote means you have no right to complain about a politicians actions if you could gave removed him from office. Whether is civic, provincial or federal. Get out and VOTE.

     I am happy to announce that one of my favourite strip cartoonist has returned to the panel. Berkeley Breathed has restarted his famous satirical comic as -  Bloom County 2015. In my opinion Bloom County is one of the better strips out there. The character are complex,  dynamic and cute too. In fact, I have Opus tattooed on my back.

     So, the Loin Fruits did their initial day at school. They returned with a sheet of paper entitled "Protocol and Consent Form". On was a series of boxes to be checked that we, both parent/guardian and student, have read and understand the Rules of the School, including the consequences of non-compliance. It's purely an administrative form that the school board uses so if they have to punt your kid out because he's being a little shit they don't have to explain to you the reason why.

Super Shifty Shady

09:45 hrs.
30 Aug 15

     My BETTER HALF has pointed out to me a rather significant point. A rather obvious point that is often overlooked. A point that smacks of obfuscation on a massive scale. Here's the point: If you ran a company that consistently could not pay its bills your company would not be in business for very long. So, why is it the federal government can run a deficit (not pay its bills) for eight consecutive years and we (the creditors) think its okay to do so? And now, in the midst of a very long election campaign, the ruling party suddenly comes up with a $5 b. surplus. What happened? Did they raid the Canadian Pension Fund (once again) to balance the books? Or, change the EI funding by increasing the payroll deductions while eliminating entire training programs (and thus saving monies). Or, raid the Superannuation Funds, the federal employee's pension fund, of profits earned (that would have aided is sustaining the fund itself).

    
     A word to the wise, please be careful of polititians who suddenly present gifts from a cupboard that was previously empty.

     For a real giggle look for the YouTube video called "Harperman". Written and performed by a scientist (muzzled by the feds) the song recites the litany of PM Harper's actions over his two terms in office.

     School will soon be in session. Can't wait. Although both of our Loin Fruits worked their tail feathers off their current lack of focus and direction has left them wandering about like the Lost Tribes of Israel. For myself and my LOBSTER, the start of the school year would provide stability in the home before The Sages arrive and we bug out to vacation in A Foreign Land. As for us taking any additional schooling, there will always be something new to learn so the chance are probably pretty good that we will both be cranking out term papers as well.

     Had enough rain yet?
     The answer had better be no. In order to replenish the waters in the forests, lakes and streams the VALLEY needs several weeks of a steady drizzle. A hard rain will not soak into the ground and may cause local flooding, so the order of business should be Slow and Steady.

16:15 hrs.

     Do you have a needy person in your life? Not a person in need. One who you are happy to help out of the goodness of your heart. In fact, everyone should be willing to help anyone in need, if they can. No, I am talking about a self centred individual who, under the guise of needing a favour, twists every encounter and every outing into a personal focus session. Now this particular individual is a warm giving person but the reciprocal demands far outweigh anything put forward. And there is always a catch or a hook that traps you into having to another stressful interaction that has to go their way. For lack of a better term, I have decided to label this person "Driving Miss Daisy" the ultra needy character portrayed by Jessica Tandy.

     Is there a need, want or complaint you wish to voice? There is an online Facebook forum for the VALLEY called "Comox Valley Rants and Raves". Like any online forum group it has its share of Whack-a-doos. Some individuals actually try to help one another. Others are just trolls. If nothing else its a good chuckle.

In the COMFORT ZONE

Blaine 07:30 hrs
23 Aug 15

     Our visitors at THE WAYWARD INN, Li'l Bro and His Lobster, have pretty much settled in. I am sure that there was much trepidation on the part of His Lobster what with coming to stay in the nest of my Lobster. Not too worry. With the help of the Inn Keepers open hospitality, Chef Blaine's fixins and a lot of wine everything went as smooth as silk.

     They, whoever the hell they are, say that opposites attract. Well, these two are certainly the poster kids for the rule. He's mechanical down to earth gonna kill it and eat it I've got your six my word is my bond. She's organized to the Nth degree white collar high end glitz enjoy life with a huge open heart. But truly believe me when I say that they are LOBSTERS.

     So, we did the tourist thing with them. Cathedral Grove, Coombs and Qualicum Bay. We added the Coastal Black Winery on our list as we know His Lobster enjoys wine. This was great as I was able to enjoy it too as my BETTER HALF doesn't indulge in the grape. But, if you didn't know this, the Coastal Black Winery makes all their wines from berries and honey. That's right they are making the ancient wine called mead. If you have never tried it, I strongly suggest that you do. Its worth it. Unfortunately, because work commitments, His Lobster has to wing her way back to the Flatlands.

06:15
25 Aug 15

     Li'l Brother and I headed out to Mohun Lake yesterday and brought home six nice cutty's. We spotted a herd of elk on the way in. A dozen cows and one big racked bull. Looks like the rut maybe coming to the Island sooner than expected. When I took Loin Fruit #1 into work this morning (for his last work day) I spotted three of the local four-hooved hoodlums trotting along Bolt Avenue. They weren't feeding. Rather, they were keeping tabs on their competitors and starting to search out the does. If the residents of the VALLEY thought the deer were a pain in the ass over the summer it is nothing compared to when The Rut is on. Thank goodness it only happens once a year when the does go into estrous driving the bucks mad with desire.

     It should be noted that the traffic moving over the 17th Street Bridge is getting stupid. Not just in volume, which can easily be handled by the bridge deck, but in the approach lanes to the bridge. There are so many vehicles wanting to cross over that they are extending beyond the approach lanes and into the intersections. This situation is only going to get worse. And this is where the short sighted town fathers & mothers should be looking to put in another bridge from Courtenay to Comox. Not some namby pamby bull shit pedestrian/cyclist bridge to cross the Courtenay River at 6th Ave. that will only be used by the hoodlums hanging around Simms Park after dark. What we need is a simple two lane bridge running from the bottom of 29th and ending up at the site of the old concrete silo on Dyke Road. Yes, it benefits Comox the most as it would allow the residents to bypass Courtenay when leaving or entering the Valley but it also benefits Courtenay by dropping the amount of traffic running all the way to the 17th St. bridge and then back again just to get to frickin Walmart.

Think about it.

Back at It

18:20 hrs.
17 Aug 15

     Well, THE WAYWARD INN was contacted by a friend from the Mainland. Youngblood is visiting his mom for a few days so I quickly adjusted my schedule to make some time to see him. He's a good guy to have watching your back when you're OUT IN THE WEEDS. Of course, this means you must be prepared to watch his back. Is this something you are prepared to do? Come to someone's aid without reservations? Who, among your friends, would step up to the plate?

06:45 hrs.
18 Aug 15

     My LOBSTER and I are heading out of country for a holiday. Sans Couch Monkeys!  A big surprise is that the Sages will be coming to The WAYWARD INN to watch over them. At one point the Sr. Loin Fruit thought we would let them gleefully fend for themselves. Sure, and skateboarding hoodlums are welcome to freely sample my collection of single malts.

     I hope that all of you are watching the slow grinding machinations of the federal election campaign. Remember that it is easy to tell when politician is lying. If his/her lips are moving it's a lie. The only remaining question is to what degee of falsehoods are you willing to live with. Once again, I implore you, Dear Readers,  to exercise size your right and vote.

10:20 hrs.

     We're busy prepping for our guests arrival this weekend. He was my Li'l Brother and she is his Entire World. They don't vacation often so the fact that they are coming to visit the WAYWARD INN is great.

     The news media has Thomas Mulcair on Vancouver Island today. It will be interesting to hear what he has to say for the residents of The Rock. More half truths and unfullfilled promises. My biggest concern is what will happen to the Canadian military if the NDP does form the government.

     Well, that's about it from here. Take care Dear Readers. It's time for lunch with Youngblood.

How Busy R U?

08:05 hrs.
14 Aug 15

     So? Have you been busy? Here at the WAYWARD INN I've been balancing one job at three locations while trying to reduce the size of my Honey-Do list. Been making some good headway too. Hopefully all of my efforts may eventually pay off.

     Actually, we've all been busy. My BETTER HALF is still battling a massive learning curve at her new position. But she has been told, by peoples in the know, that she must be doing things right as progress is being felt across the realm like rings on a pond.

     And the Loin Fruits?  Well, they've been unabashedly plugging away at their first real jobs to a great success. With the early shift at 05:30 hrs and going to 18:30 hrs. they have had to make sacrifices in their personal social calendars, despite its lack of event singularities. They actually have begun to appreciate the value of a dollar earned and have begun to take a harder view at some of their "associates" whose only source of income is derived from begging, whining and pleading their parental units. Obviously, they never never heard of Rule #2 - Whiners Get Nothing!

     The local Cage Liner reports that the arrival of the new vessel for the Buckley Bay Cable Ferry is delayed yet again. The BC FERRY Corruption is telling everyone who listen, which would be everyone except those who need to use this particular bateau, that it will be up and running by September. I still think that when the winter weather sets in that ferry may end up taking a Missouri Boat Ride down the length of the strait. For more details on the vessel's shortcomings check out www.sendintheclowns.info.

     There is an airshow at CFB tomorrow. Sorry I didn't give you any more of an advance warning but I simply cannot be your only source of info despite being the most articulate. Ha Ha! There will be the usual. A Twin Tailed Plastic Fag Jet, the Snow-chickens, the Shit-Hawks, a bunch of civie aerobatic stunt planes. I have no idea what the static birds will be. Supposedly there will be a C-17. That will be cool as will the Buffalo air demo. I guess I'm jaded. I once was deployed to Abbotsford as ground crew in 1985. If you want to see a premier airshow on the Left Coast that's the one to see. They had an F-22 Raptor air demo. Now that would have been a sight to see.

     Have you been watching Alone on the History channel?  The series has on episode left. Hopefully they will repeat it as I missed the first one. This show is far better than any Survivor reality game show. The only person to vote these contestants off is themselves. Being Out In The WEEDS, I wonder if they had any approaches?

    

On this date...

16:05 hrs.
06 Aug 15

     On this date, 70 years ago, the Japanese city of Hiroshima was destroyed by a single nuclear bomb dropped from an American B-29 bomber (named the Enola Gay). Two days later a second nuclear bomb was dropped on the city of Nagasaki. Hundreds of thousands of lives were lost and have continued to be lost from residual radiation poisoning.

     The American position was that if the Pacific Theatre of War would have continued on its current path the overall loss of life would have been ten fold. Therefore, in order to force the Japanese High Command to surrender these two devices were utilized.

     As recently as only two years ago the Japanese school system started to teach its students about its own military actions during WW II (forced labour camps, attacking Pearl Harbour, Korean women taken as sex slaves, etc.) This portion of Japanese history has not been taught for two generations.

Nearing the End

18:55 hrs.
04 Aug 15

     We are nearing the end.  Actually, we are more than just past the half way point of summer. But in some regards we are definitely nearing the end. Our Japanese student has only till the end of the week with us and then it will be Sayonara. While the two Loin Fruits are grinding their way through the Dish Pit at the CFB.  No complaints on either front so that makes my BETTER HALF and I pretty happy. And you know the old saying "Happy Wife, Happy Life".

     I remember when I was in the Eighth grade english class, Miss Pateman's class in Shuswap Junior Secondary. We had two immigrant students from Hong Kong, Tony and Tommy Mah. As a cultural bridging exercise, we had to do a report on where they were from. I did one on the origins of their language. I discovered that the basic written language  ideograms are based on the marks found on the back of a turtle. From their it was remarkably simply. The symbol of a house, a peaked roof and two straight lines, was just that - a house. Add the symbol of a wife and it became a home. A house with a pig was wealth. A house with a wife and a pig was happiness. A house with two wives was...discord.  Go figure.

     With our Japanese student leaving the WAYWARD INN will not be empty for long. My Little Brother and his Better Half will be arriving in a couple of weeks. Its been kinda hard to nail down their plans but I do know that we would like to play tour guide for them. Chef Blaine also needs to know any dietary restrictions if he is able to prepare any award winning dishes. Those of you who have supped at the WAYWARD INN will understand.

16:40 hrs
05 Aug 15

     Another day gone. Another day closer to the end. When some of our Japanese  students have left the WAYWARD INN there was a sense of loss. I don't know if we had made enough of a connection with this one. I hope that we have.

     On another note, there is a huge well spring, a ground surge that Ober Fuhrer Harper will be summarily be removed from office. Now, I will not counsel anyone to vote for any particular political party. It would be unconscionable to do so. But, I will emplore you to exercise your Right to Vote. There are so many places in this world where many citizens do not have the ability to affect change and yet nearly 50% of Canadians piss away this right. And that's for a federal election. It's even lower for a provincial or civic decision. I'm not saying you have to be as politico as our neighbours South of the 49th but if you don't take an interest and you don't vote then I don't want to hear you bitchin when your rax dollars are used to fund a one armed federal fart catcher to paint a portrait of the last known Beothuk in Newfoundland.

Out and About

06:15 hrs.
27 Jul 15

     Its the things you see when you are Out and About.  We spotted a rat in the driftwood along the Airpark Walkway. That in itself is no big deal but on the Comox Valley Rants and Raves Facebook page there has been quite a few comments of rats being sighted inside the Whistle Stopping  Pub. Now the Whistle Stop Pub has been around for a long time. The building is old and rats are common in the area. But, there is no excuse for vermin to be present inside a restaurant. Get a couple of cats.

07:25 hrs.
29 Jul 15

     Chef Blaine's Shuttle Service.
     At 05:00 hrs. I take one of the Loin Fruits into work for 05:00 hrs. Then its taking our student to school for 09:00 hrs. Then back home to pick up the other Loin Fruit  to be in for 10:00 hrs. At 13:30 hrs. it's back to CFB to collect the first Yard Ape. An hour later it's time to start prepping for supper. Toss into this schedule is the transportation of #1 Son to and from his Significant Other who maybe staying at her dad's out in the Wild Wild West. Is it any wonder I haven't had time to enlighten you, my Dear Readers.

09:05 hrs.
31 Jul 15

     Do you like ribs?
     Southern Bbq?
     There is a place in the VALLEY called Great Island Barbeque on Fitzgerald.  Fantastic food. My buddy Eric and I headed there last night. Sooo Gooood! Ribs, slaw, beans and corn bread. If you haven't been there yet you have to go. I know that I am going back. Even if its just for the corn bread.

     Our Japanese student comes back from being Out In The WEEDS. Well, not really Out In The WEEDS. They were only out at Horne Lake to experience some of BC's wilderness up close and personal. Dirt, bugs, the dark. Must have driven them crazy with worry. Especially with big full moon over the past couple of nights. I wonder if they saw any wildlife? Now, Horne Lake is also accessible by taking Cook Creek road over the mountain and through a couple of canyons. Just for interest sake I have had three or four solid reports of the Big & Hairy kind from the Cook Creek area. I would love to have seen the look on the students faces if they heard on vocalizing from up on the ridge above the camp.

     This weekend will be another busy time at THE WAYWARD INN.  We'll be shuttling the Loin Fruits to work, taking students to venues and trying to maintain some cohesion at home. Should be fun.

Another Satisfied Customer

19:05 hrs.
19 Jul 15

     My BETTER HALF and I went all out. A full meal spread. On the Flame Pit I 'qued a road killed chicken and six more seasoned breasts while the bread machine churned out a batch of dough for a batch of beet leaves and dough. With a coleslaw salad and some sliced kohlarabi   the table was set. My Cuz'n from River City and her hubby were coming for lupper. As per usual the meal was well received.

     So when will todays teenagers finally realize that the internet is not the best source for information?

     "Dad, did you know that the song Jump by Van Halen is all about committing suicide?"

      BULLSHIT!

     And, if it was, which I very much doubt, I guess the joke is on me because I have listened to the song a gazillion times and I never thought of it in that manner. It makes me want to contact the writer and ask him for the truth just to clear the air...so to speak.

     Here in the VALLEY, I would like to know why anyone would want to own a bunch of goats. You heard me! GOATS! They're smelly. They're pushy. They're nothing but trouble.

06:15 hrs.
20 Jul 15

     Today is the start of another regular shift for me and the continuation of the Loin Fruits "10 on-4 off". It's quite the stretch but as the saying goes - "Good! It'll teach them some tolerance."

     Actually, they are learning a vast amount of skills that will be a welcome addition to their CV. A wide range of  knowledge coupled with real live hands on experience is never a bad thing. Especially when the majority of todays slack and idle youth can only cook with a microwave and clean up by using the garbage can or a dish washer. My only hope is that they realize that it will be directly transferable for use when they move out of The WAYWARD INN and into their own place.

     Get out!
     Good riddance!
     Keep going and
     Don't come back.

     I really don't want to have any boomerang children.  You know, you toss them out into the world and despite your best  efforts they keep returning. That's because they are leaving a perfect sheltered environment. Quick question - what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick! Don't use a boomerang! Use a stick! In other words stop being soft on your kids and don't provide a perfect environment. Use the stick to show them out the door or else they'll keep coming back. 'Nuff said.

20:10 hrs.

     I saw a huge tract of land at the top end - the west end - of Cessford Road that has just been logged off. Now with this extreme forest fire rating I am wondering just who in their ever loving mind would be logging so close to town? How close you might ask? Well, the other side of the river is Puntledge Park that's how close it is to town. It's my guess that it must be the K'omoks First Nations as they don't  have to follow any regulations while operating on their land.  A nice sentiment if their vehcles causes a fire that jumps  the river into the city.

     And a geomatics firm has been surveying the Tsolum Rivet for the new road and bridge that is to be completed in 2017, same time as the new hospital. Interesting how that works out.

     I started a new Facebook page to promote the sales of my book. Look for Wood Knocks and Tossed Rocks on Facebook.

Is Big Brother really watching?

03:50 hrs.
14 Jul 15

     I just got back to the WAYWARD INN from work and I have to make sure that I filled you in on what happened about eight hours ago.

     We had just finished supper. Carrots, shwartzies hashbrowns, and some mixed proteins. I say mixed because in cleaning out the freezer there were three bacon wrapped fillets and a chichen cordon swiss. So three of us a steaks and one did not. Loin Fruit #1 opted for the chicken. No sooner did finish dining and tidy up when there was a call from On-Tari-Ari-O. It was Costco calling with some important information. This was no ordinary rob-o call. It was targeted specifically at us.

     "Our records indicate that on such and such date your household purchased a box of chicken cordon swiss that may be from Lot Number 1, 2 or 3. It has been discovered that some of Lot Number 1, 2 or 3 is contaminated with salmonella. If you still have all or a portion of that purchase please return it to the nearest Costco outlet for a full refund. Thank you."

     I ask you this ...what are the odds that on the very day that the very last chicken cordon swiss was consumed that we would receive such a call? Well, when you consider that everything that you purchase has a bar code and all your purchases are correlated against your membership card the subsequent database provides the corporation, who ever it may be, with ability to reach out to you the customer. Pretty scary shit!

     Oh yeah, before I forget, Loin Fruit #1 is fine. Not even a tummy ache.

Hazaaah! The Rain is here!

11:05 hrs.
11 Jul 15

     Yes, the rain is finally here. I don't know how long it will be staying around but at this point it doesn't frickin matter. The forest is so dry the leaves from the deciduous trees are dried up and starting to fall as if it was autumn. At last count there were 195 wild fires burning in the province. Most of them will be allowed to burn out on their own unless they are threatening some sort of infrastructure.

23:35 hrs.

     So, we three are back from Music Fest. When I say we three it includes Loin Fruit #2,  my BETTER HALF and yours truly.  The other Loin Fruit had worked the early shift today, up and gone to start at 05:30 hrs, so he spent his evening hunched over his keyboard. His loss as we heard some great music plus there is always the fun of people watching. And, as I have said before, living in the VALLEY is like living in a bowl of granola. What ain't fruits and nuts are flakes.

     Yes, the boys are gainfully employed. Oh, they are being payed quite handsomely and they are learning some good work ethics to boot. Maybe they'll apply them to life here at The WAYWARD INN. It sure would help.

     Speaking of the WAYWARD INN,  we are still expecting some guests over the summer. Our perennial student from Japan will arrive in just over a week and in August,  my "Brother from Another Mother" will be visiting for about a week. With all that is happening, all of the schedules have made the calendar look like a CFL play book. My LOBSTER has commented that this will be one of our busiest summers and yet we haven't gone anywhere. But things will settle down on school is back in session when our plan will be to hitch up the mobile WAYWARD INN and head out to someplace quiet.

08:00 hrs.
12 Jul 15

     My alarm went off at 04:30 but my BETTER HALF got up and drove Loin Fruit #1 into work. I had covered the three previous early morning shuttles. When they started their positions my LOBSTER had looked into the local transit system schedule. Not so much to get them to work at O-Dark 30 but more for the subsequent shifts. Forget it. It would be a waste of time. First off there are very few busses that are routed to the base and secondly the timings are out to lunch. They don't even match up with the hours of the DND employees and when you couple the transit routes, which are so squiggly that they look like they were drawn on a map by a three year old having a tantrum, is there any wonder why there are so few riders.

     There is a Facebook page in THE VALLEY called RANTS and Raves. Sort of an online Beefs and Bouquets. Sounds like something I dreamed up doesn't it? There is some useful information that is passed along but for the most part it is just a collection of uneducated people who are whining perpetually about everything around them. I try not to engage these people as who knows what a bit of realism might do to the gene pool.

     And speaking about the shallow end, I have noticed in my work travels that there is a part of the VALLEY that is looking more like it is inhabited by emigrants from Pennsylvania or Kentucky.  Like on Orange is the New Black, I'll  call them Pen-tuckians. If you've seen the show you'll know what I'm talking about. Unfortunately, I have to deal with these people on a regular basis. It's kinda scary but it's easy when you talk slowly with small words and relate everything to their environment.