Things are shaping up...

12:20 hrs.
30 May 15

     I had sent some copies of my book, "Wood Knocks and Tossed Rocks", to the cast members of "Finding Bigfoot". They are filming an episode in BC and I figured it would be a good promotional venue for the book. I sent them via Canada Post with two or three day delivery schedule. Big mistake. Ten fricken days. The books will now be received tomorrow. What a piss off. However, there is a Silver Lining to this cloud of errors. I was able to re-connect with a couple of good friends of mine namely, The Big Swede and Youngblood. They, the lucky bastards, are going Out In The WEEDS with the Finding Bigfoot crew. AGAIN, THE LUCKY BASTARDS!  It was brought to my attention that I should be looking at attending an off-Island outing this fall. I like the sounds of that so I'll probably run it past my BETTER HALF for her blessing.

     Do you know what season it is? Why its Garage Sale Season, of course. When every one with a house load of crap wants you to buy it and pack into the recesses of your residence for ten years before you realize...what the hell do I need that thing for? Or ...I don't think I've ever used that combination ear & pick toe jam personal groomer! Why the hell did I buy that? But, regardless of the fact that most garage sale signs are mispelled - they are missing the letter B, some interesting deals can be found. Several years ago I got an excellent deal on a small camp stove for when I'm Out In The WEEDS. Three bucks. A new set of O-rings and I was off to the races. The savings were in excess of $65. My LOBSTER and I had to drop off Loin Fruit #2 at karate and Loin Fruit #1 at his Snuggy's house. She just happens to live out in The Wild Wild West. Between these two points we scoped out several yard/trash sales. Nothing piqued our interest and it only got worse. You kind get a feel for the things you would expect to find depending on the area your driving through. Right? In Foxxwood or on Valley View you would expect some higher end kids toys and yard tools. But out in the Wild Wild West you'd be looking at furniture with multiple mis-matched stains and worn out leg-hold traps.

     Did you ever hold a yard sale? My BETTER HALF has one for charity. She spends her time making sure everything is functional and clean. Places items in similar groups. I help her set things up and place the signs in the neighborhood. Yard Sale @ The WAYWARD INN - 0800 to 1400 hrs. Of course, there's always some slimy Early Bird guy driving the area an hour before everything gets started. The Early Bird may get the worm but he can't frikken read.

     I'm feeling the need to char some pork products on the Flame Pit. A rack or two of ribs cooked low and slow with sauce and smoke. Or a Road Killed Chicken. Prawns are always nice. So is a nice tuna steak. The challenge would be to match the beer/ale to the food. Lots of choices here at THE WAYWARD INN. Good thing we're not out in the Wild Wild West because the only thing you get there is Lucky - the original Redneck Lager. Drinking Lucky does not get you lucky unless you're near a sheep farm.

     We have more guests coming to The WAYWARD INN this summer. A Japanese student, friends from the 'Peg and the occaisonal drop-in. The door is open.

Okay! I'm awake!

04:25 hrs.
28 May 15

     Did you ever wake up in the middle of the night with so much crap running through your head that you could not go back to sleep?

     Don't lie to me! If you are an adult, I know this has happened to you. It has nothing to do with caffeine intake or poor digestion. It's all about mental stressors that are working over time.

     But, fear not Dear Readers, your trusted scribe has a solution to this problem. Release your stress through focusing on a physical activity of some kind right before sleeping. One that involves a partner is usually best. Alcohol consumption may be of some assistance but it is not required. Chemical and pharmaceutical ingestion is strongly not advised. Enjoy.

     It would appear that there has been agreement on the Comox town council on the construction of a building on the old Lorne Hotel site. It's about time. The site has been empty for at least three years after the fire took out the Lorne.

     Anyone looking for some yard work to be done over the summer? I have a senior Couch Monkey that will available. He doesn't know it yet but the internet password will be dependent on him doing AS HE IS ASKED! I really do not know what it is with these kids. Its a case of never having been said no to. Or worse, their friends have never been said no to in their house. You know..."Johnny's parents let him gane on the computer all night long!" And that's why Johnny is missing class, has failing grades and will probably graduate from McDonald's Hamburger University.

     Kids today are not allowed to fail at anything. In grade school they are not allowed to be held back (fail a grade) as it may affect them socially. Bullshit. Not being able to read or do simple arithmetic will affect them more. And in junior sports, teams don't keep score of the goals/runs/baskets scored as coming in second (losing) would be bad for their  personal esteem. More bullshit.

     So the BC FERRIES Corporation has been holding a competition to name the three new vessels coming to the fleet this year. The goal was to encourage people to get involved with the ferries. The prize for the best names is a $500 voucher, which would get a family of four off The Rock three or four times, if you ate nothing while onboard. The competition is not going as well as expected as some of the names suggested were the S.S. ISHOULDHAVEBEENABRIDGE and the Queen of the Wallet Suckers. From a neighbourhood source the new vessel at Buckley Bay is supposed to arrive this summer for trials and be operational this fall.

     The town of Cache Creek, BC was hammered with flash flooding last week. No lives lost but massive amounts of property damage. Here in the VALLEY we are looking at STAGE TWO watering restrictions and it is only approaching June. Things might get dangerous OUT IN THE WEEDS with a threat of a forest fire. Good thing there's no such thing as global warming. 

     Did you hear that a number of FIFA officials have been arrested on charges of corruption? Corruption in professional sports? Naaaah, never happens. Greed and power. Power and greed. Once again, whatever these officials were making the ability to extract more monies and perks was their addiction. Now the sponsors; Adidas, Coca Cola, McDonald's, etc. are demanding clarity. No money. No FIFA  World Cup. But Russia (Putin-stan) is demanding that the US Attorney General stop the investigations. What are they afraid of?

It's time to Laugh...

16:35 hrs
24 May 15

     Sorry Dear Readers but I have been busy with yard work around the WAYWARD INN and other assorted tasks.   It would seem to my LOBSTER that I am writing this blog under the guise of being aware of what I am doing. I beg to differ. I rarely know what I am doing until I'm about to doing. More about that later.

     Loin Fruit #2 and I headed out to a lake north of River City. Its a nice place. Well kept camp sites and a half decent boat launch. Between the two of us we caught twenty cutthroat trout. Released them all. But it was sure fun tenting with my son. Hopefully we can do it again later this summer.

     I heard on the radio (CBC RADIO ONE) that a house on 1st Street in Courtenay blew up over the weekend. Supposedly,  three males were severely injured and were seen running from the scene. Drug lab? Something's up as the local constabulary has a warrant to search the property for evidence. Evidence of...

     So, with school soon to be ending and with no full time summer employment in my Senior Couch Monkey's future it will be my goal to ensure that last summer's debacle is not repeated. The list of chores and assigned tasks will be long. There will not be a repeat of the seven hours of gaming/television watching/slacking off that occurred last summer.

     Have you heard of a program called "Brooklyn 99"? Loin Fruit #1 and his "Squeeze" (yes, this will be something for further discussions) were watching this on Netflix. It sounded kinda spoofy to me. One character, a detective, described himself first as an Ebony Falcon and then an Ebony Gazelle. I applied that myself stating that I was a "Pasty Armadillo" which resulted in a host of giggles between the two of us.

     Got something that you want to get off your chest? Got a pic of some moron who parks his big ass truck in the small vehicle spot? You can look for Rants n Raves on Facebook. I just joined up I have noticed a lot of "dog in hot car" rants. That's a bad trend.

A Summer Haiku

07:45 hrs.
17 May 15

Awake in my bed
Skitter Skitter Tap Tap TAP
A roof top squirrel.

     Yes, even I can wax poetically on occasion. Everyone is slowly stirring awake. We all seem to sleep deeper and more restful in the Mobile WAYWARD INN. Well, most of us do. I can't help relax those who are too tightly wound and who are unable to indulge because of the legal age limit.

     My Redneck friend held a pig roast at his ranch in Alberta. His taunting via Facebook did not go unnoticed. I wanted so much to attend be realistically it was not possible. Instead, the WAYWARD INN chef roasted a pork rib roast c/w sauteed mushrooms and roasted potatoes. Perfection in a pan.

     Too bad you missed it.

    

On the Road Again!

07:50 hrs.
16 May 15

     It's the May Two-Four weekend! And where are you? Not stuck in traffic I hope!
We decided to take the Mobile WAYWARD INN towards the south end of the Island.  My LOBSTER needs to do a bit of clothes shopping for her new position while I might look for a kilt. Would be nice. A little more freedom for the undercarriage.

     Our friend, Mike the Pun-Master, was visiting us for several days (we've known him since our time out on the Frozen Prairie). It was his annual pilgrimage north from the Hub City for a Whack Dammit tourney with some old buddies. Nice. Despite shooting in the triple digits he had fun trudging with his pals and wasn't rained out.

     I met up with the wife of a friend of mine and I asked if they had a copy of my book yet. She replied,  No the did not. So when I brought a copy to them she commented that as a friend I shouldn't be charging him anything. I politely told her that even my mother had to pay to which she called me a slime ball. And that's how I autographed it. "Happy Readings from the Slime Ball."

Yes! There is an End!

06:20 hrs.
12 May 15

     Imagine my surprise when I heard yesterday that, due to falling ratings, AMERICAN IDOL will end next year. Good. I hope it takes THE VOICE, DANCING WITH STARS and every other repetitive glory grabbing show down with it.

      Deflategate?  I do not follow any pro sports team or league as I strongly believe that no person on the face of this planet should be paid the salaries that these people are paid. Tens of millions a year, plus the ad revenue, to throw or hit or kick a spherical object. I don't think so.  The individual who finds the cure for cancer should be paid tens of millions dollars. And one other person should be paid such a sum and that's the person who gets to kick any cheating sport star right in the balls. Of course, the monies would then be donated to charity. Tens of millions is not enough Mr. Brady? You have to cheat, too? A kick to the balls you greedy bastard. I figure pro sports players, teams and especially the money grubbung owners should have a special tax that should go straight to a local social charity. Ten percent of the gross. Rather biblical I know. Call it the You Will Be Humble Tax!

    I'm waiting to see if the new provision to the animal welfare act goes through in BC. It is proposed that if an animal is in distress in a hot car then the windiws can be broken and the animal rescued with no repercussions to the rescuer. Would be  nice to be able to do this in my line of work.

Is there no end...

05:30 hrs.
08 May 15

     Well, they're off. My outlaws have left the building. We had a great time. Good food and lots of fun. We must have played nearly 40 games of Trouble, that timeless  POP-O-MATIC board game, of which this scribe won nine times. I also lost ten times.

 

     After seeing them off at O-dark 30, my LOBSTER and I went to Timmies at Ryan and Lerwick.  The place was empty except for three harried staff and a whiner.

     "I paid for a meal so why is my coffee full price?"

     "I can't connect to your WIFI. Is it not working?"

      And on! And on! AND ON!

     Thank God I'm not married to that. The roosters haven't even seen the sun rise and she was ragging on people who could easily spit in her food. Go ahead! Piss them off!

     It's supposed to be 22C here in the VALLEY. Nice! Maybe I can finish getting the Travelling WAYWARD INN ready to go. On another note, the Brickhouse Betties are jamming this weekend.  If your in town drop by the CV Recreation Centre on Vanier at 18:00 hrs. or so. Come support your local team and have some fun. Even my Cuz'n from River City might drop in.

     Oh yeah, before I forget there has been some addition to the fence. I snagged shoes from the Couch Monkeys, my BETTER HALF and my father-in-law and bolted them to the fence. Next time your visiting take a look.
    

Hot Off the Presses (part 3)

17:05 hrs.
05 May 15

     Just as I suspected, the local Cage Liner is reducing the number if delivery days by half. It will come out only on Friday as opposed to Tuesday and Friday.  This does not imply that the amount of the content will doubled nor does it mean the journalistic quality will be squared. If anything, the advertising load will only condense to a massive brick of unwanted products. As paper carriers, will my two Loin Fruits lose wages as they will only be delivering half as many papers in the month? At this point I don't know. The fact that the Black Press is reducing the circulation is an indication that it is trying to galvanize the bottom line. I doubt if the carriers will be maintaining the same level of pay.

21:45 hrs.

     So...how about that Albertan provincial election?

     It would appear that the Tories had their ass handed to them on a silver platter. And by the NDP no doubt.

     Well, it comes as no surprise because, when it comes to politics in Alberta, the electorate is the most vicious of anywhere in the Dominion. They are truly the pitbulls of any voters I know, turning on their own by directing elected officials to oust any not towing the party line. Prime example - former Premier Alison Redford. She curtailed expenses, rights to collective bargaining, etc. But for herself, it was Lifestyles of the Entitled. First Class air travel, the Skypalace condo and other perks were her demise. Her successor, Jim Prentice, di some back room courting of the members of the Official Opposition, the Wild Rose Party, whereby nine members crossed the floor to the PC's. It would interesting to note if any of those nine retained their seats among the ren PC's re-elected. Doubtful to say the least.

     My BETTER HALF's parental units will be heading home in a couple of days. But, THE WAYWARD INN will have a guest soon enough. One tomorrow night, my friend from Over the Hump is passing through and an Engineer will be based here for his annual Whackdammit convention. Never a dull moment. The trick is for us to find moments just for us. Which is why the Travelling WAYWARD INN is being prepped for the coming season.

     My parental units have requested my presence at the mid-year point to assit in their relocation. It will be a fast and furious trip. I'll be bringing a Go Bag to cover my own sleeping arrangements.

This is the life...

14:25 hrs.
02 May 15

     Hello Dear Readers,
     Its your scribe from the WAYWARD INN.  Isn't it a gorgeous day outside?  There is a slight breeze rattling the four sets of wind chimes in the back yard and I must say the Islay Caesars are particularly fine and are a grear accompaniment to ...nothing. They are great all by themselves.  Ha ha!

     Some quick news on the home front. My senior Couch Monkey as finally finished the distance ed English  course that he started over a year ago. That's right. Three semesters worth of DE to finish a one semester course. Was there a lesson for him to learn?  There sure was. The most important one was don't bullshit your parents. The other important achievement was accomplished by Couch Monkey #2 with his increase in ranking in karate. Congrats to both of them.  My LOBSTER has a new position that she will be starting in the next couple of weeks. A huge congrats to her. She had been ten years at the previous location and it was time to move on. We both know it will take sometime for the losing unit to adjust to her departure.  Sucks to be them.

05:55 hrs.
03 May 15

     That big yellow disc is coming up over the horizon. Looks like it will be another great day.

     Yesterday my BETTER HALF's Travelling Relatives came over to visit. It was a lupper visit. The menu consisted of ham and an assortment of fixing. The head chef at The WAYWARD INN did a mushroom baked brie. Must have turned out well because it was completely devoured.  The Travelling Relatives brought a nice table wine and a dessert I've been wanting to make. I'm not much of a baker but I can handle this one, I think. As always it was great to see them mind you, I think they were shocked when I mentioned I was three chapters in to writing a new book. Tentatively entitled, "So there I was... True Tales from an active flight line". Everyone says to write what you know. So, I'll write about me being in the military. A selection of stories right from Basic Training to retirement from the perspective of a technician as opposed to some glory hound aircrew member.

     If anyone has driven by the new hospital site you will be surprised at the rate that it is ascending. From what I was told the design is for two floors below grade and four above. Surely, the race is on to complete the structural components before the rainy season returns. I had seen an artists concept some time ago but I have no clue as to what the final design will look like. Across the street from the new hospital the City has begun construction of new (and much needed) extra fire hall for this side of the river.

     Here's a question though. Do you think traffic in the area will be a problem? Let's look at just the major players currently using the intersection of Ryan and Lerwick. Home Despot, Timmies, North Island College, the Aquatic center,  the Thrifty's strip mall complex including the CIBC and Columbia Liquors and the traffic headed to Costco and Mark R Isfeld high school. Now, add to that all those who will work at or attend to the new hospital plus a new fire hall c/w an attached training centre. I would suggest that unless you have to travel through the area ...Don't. Give yourself some extra time and pick an alternate route.