Running Ragged

05:55 hrs.
30 July 14

     Its an anniversary of sorts. I have been with my current employer for a year now.         Woohoo! And I gave been doing this specific aspect for almost a year. Another, woohoo!

    

     I've been trying to keep up on things but we are having a lot of activity going in around the WAYWARD INN of late. Japanese students coming and going, Loin Fruits in and out plus surprise guests at any moment. On top of all of that my BETTER HALF's boss is being moved out and a new (and rumour has it -diametrically opposed) boss is coming in. To assist housing all of the guests for the departing boss our trailer may have to be hauled down to the beach for a short length of time. I don't know where the hell I'm supposed to park it as all of the sites are taken.

     

     I took our Japanese students and Loin Fruit #1 on a road trip yesterday. We hit Coombs Country Market for lunch. And besides, I think all tourists need to see the GOATS.  I also met up with my buddy Bob from OVER THE HUMP. I had to bring him an autographed copy of my book. He had to bring me $25. 

      

     Everyone had the burger special... a greater than 1/4 pound beef patty tipped with cheese, bacon, a deep fried onion ring and special sauce c/w fries, salad or soup of the day. Everyone except me. I had the club house sandwich,  which wasn't bad. I've had better but was not as bad as the fair at the Rocky Mountain Cafe.

     

     After some minor shopping for the Better Half we headed fir Cathedral Grove. If you haven't been there lately you will be surprised to note that there are new restroom facilities thst are not half way down the trail.  Built for tourists and wheelchair accessible too. The two students were amazed at the size of the trees.  Then again who isn't.

    

    

The Ten "FLAME PIT" Commandments

10:00 hrs.
27 July 14

     It came to me last night, as I was trying to go back to sleep after being rudely awakened by an inebriated woman from the Cumberland Hotel calling to report a dog she had found. When I informed her that she was outside my jurisdiction she bluntly stated, "Then what the fuck are we paying you for!" CLICK!

     I don't know why I began to spin HIS basic Law's into something useable for the average BBQ owner but this is what I came up with. Enjoy my early morning Ramblings.

     1) I am your FLAME PIT. Thou shalt not Grill on any other before ME.

     2) Thou shalt not use an electric grill.

     3) Thou shalt not take the name of  WEBER in vain.

     4) Remember to BBQ everyday as it is righteous to do so.

     5) Honor thy Mother and thy Father by providing others with bountiful sustenance from this FLAME PIT.

     6) Thou shalt not Over Sear.

     7) Thou shalt not touch another man's GRILL and he shalt not touch yours without prior consent.

     8) Thou shalt not steal another's GRILLING SECRETS for if he is a true Pit Master he will share his knowledge freely.

     9) Thou shalt not bear false witness against the neighbours GRILLING ABILITY, unless it is in his presence.

  10) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's GRILL or GRILLING ACCESSORIES while in his presence but Thou Shalt vigorously profess to your life partner the need for a larger grilling surface and a higher BTU prior to the BBQ Season.

Great Days are here again...well....

17:20 hrs.
26 July 14

     Again, there are deer signs as you come into the Town of Comox. Not just the regular deer signs. These are the "EXPECT DEER ON OUR ROADS" signs. The little brown bastards are everywhere. In gardens, on the road, the front yard, the garden. Did I mention the garden?

     The towns in the Valley have not yet been questioned about a cull. But its only a matter of time. Hopefully, it will be done in a manner that won't piss off the tree hugging eco-nuts.

     FAT CHANCE OF THAT HAPPENING!

     Regardless of the manner of capture and disposal I hope the people running the show have the common sense to have the meat processed and handed over to the soup kitchens.  I have heard of some districts carting off the animals, be it deer, elk or even moose, straight to the landfill. There may not be a lot of meat on these little Island Blacktails but something is better than nothing especially when society is always looking for a way to feed the less fortunate.

     I was off to the Salt Mine today and my BETTER HALF played tour guide for the Japanese students. They were off to Mount Washington where they rode the chair lift to the top to feed the whiskey jacks. I found out later that they had laughed when they discovered the mountain's INFAMOUS BRA TREE. For years ladies, both young and old, have been pitching a spare bra or two into the woodline on the right hand side as you ride up the lift.

     The other prime event was the bungy trampoline. Again, these guys had a great time bouncing over anf over. Loads of fun.

     Tomorrow its time for WEENIES ON THE BEACH. The tide will be just starting to come in about 1300. I'm slogging about until 19500900 so I'll catch up to the pack later. It will be another dsy of fun in the sun.  AND NO BUGS! Ha Ha Ha!

    

    

     

Life is Grand

17:10 hrs.
25 July 14

     Life is pretty good from where I sit or stand or rest on my laurels ...as it were. Work is going well. Solving issues that some have been dealing with for years and enlightening others. Its all about gaining compliance and this is being achieved IN SPADES.

     On the home front, my BETTER HALF is dealing the stress that is leaking out of her work place. Lots going on there for sure. Never a dull moment with the "KIDS IN THE DAYCARE".

     Even the Couch Monkeys, et al, have been good.

     I am starting to think that this is the calm before the storm. Maybe not but I will have to be on my guard for any unexpected surprises. I really want to keep the good karma going.

     Our new house guests are coming out of their shells. We introduced them to TEXAS GOLF after which they promptly trounced us.

     Today is also my buddy Fishy's birthday.  Unfortunately I am not able to join him for drinks this evening at the FLYING CANOE in Courtenay. Happy Birthday all the same.

     So, that's about it. Holes are being dug for the new hospital and the corner is being taken out of the gravel portion of Huband Road. Onward and Upward.

     

Frightening News on the Horizon

11:20 hrs.
24 July 14

     I know that it is shocking to here of the troubles in the Ukraine and the aircraft now missing between Mali and Algeria but even more shocking is the FATWA that the rebel group ISIS has now declared in Iraq. This radical Islamic extremist group has declared that all females (women and girls) must report to and under go Female Genital Mutilation.

     If you don't know what this is imagine removing the labia majora, the labia minors and the clitoral from a females genitals. No! This not female circumcision! This is a means to subjugate and control women.

     This abhorrent practise first came to light in Canada when it was discovered among Somali immigrants and was being conducted by a female elder, not a doctor, using a razor blade or a sharp piece of glass. No anaesthetic and no antibiotics. Just hold her down and start cutting. Thank God that it has been outlawed in Canada.

     We, as a society, must not allow this to happen. Regardless of what it takes. I don't care how they get the leaders of ISIS. Satellites, spy drones, fucking cruise missiles. I don't really care. If the world as a whole allows this to take place then the world is a hole.

     And to hell with the leaders currebtlt in power. They will have dishonored themselves forever.

     Was there anything good hapenning today? Sure there was, but I can hardly write about it on the same blog as this. You need to stay focused.

 

ANOTHER ENLIGHTENED DAY

23:48 hrs.
22 July 14

Another late night.
This shit has got to stop.
Does anyone ever check the time that I am writing this stuff? 

I hsd a really good rant all worked out for you but I think I'll sleep on it. I have some new shots of the WW II Spitfire Mechanic for you to see.

More later. G'night.

09:15 hrs.
23 July 14

     So here's the deal.

     Yesterday I heard that the Obama administration has had a set back in its healthcare reform.  The US Supreme Court has ruled against the reform and now millions of citizens may have their health care nullified.

     Once again the 1% is getting their way.
Am I correct in thinking that the State's were founded in a protest against the 1% - English Rule. What if this becomes the catalyst for another US revolution. I could see it happening. Forces of those who don't have or can't afford healthcare certainty out number those who can.

     This is something to think about and be thankful that you are Canadian.

     Now that my invitational rant is off my chest there are other things of importance to discuss from here in the Valley.

     Our two Japanese students arrive this afternoon. Couch Monkey #2 has been relocated to the bonus room which means he has sole access to a large flat screen tv. It also means that I'll have to wear my headset when playing WORLD of TANKS - my latest favourite video game. And who wouldn't like this virtual operation of a steel dinosaur that spits hot lead. It is an absolute BLAST !

     Its an overcast day and drizzling slightly. Its all good as we need the respite from the heat. The rain, a constant light shower,  is greatly beneficial for the forest. Those of you who spend any time Out in the Weeds know what I am tslking about. This doesn't mean that the campfire ban will be lifted any time soon. It would take at least a week of precipitation to achieve that.

     I found a Bear Bell at Seal Bay Park.  A bear bell, it sounds like a sleigh bell, and is worn to alert a bear that a person is approaching and hopefully it departs the area.

     In places populated by both black and grizzly bears you can tell the difference by their scat. Black bear scat is about two or so inches in diameter,  piled about four inches high, is usually black in colour and contains undigested berry seeds. Grizzly bear scat is three inches or so in diameter, piled about five inches high, is usually black in colour and contains undigested bear bells.

     On a good note, a set of MY BOOK has arrived. The joy I am feeling is indescribable.

FINAL PREP

22:04 hrs.
21 July 14

     We're trying to play catch up and get ready for our incoming students from Seiko School in Japan. We have picked up some simple gifts for them and their families. We got caught with the first student when we brought him home and he suddenly started hauling out all these trinkets from Japan. Without any warning we felt like a pair of real shmucks with nothing to give in return.

     I had a surprise visitor today. He is a relative of my BETTER HALF'S boss. At the tender age of 94, this retired RAF Spitfire technician still drives his own vehicle snd plays a mean game of cribbage. Since I'm still off work tomorrow I'm going to give him the dime tour of the Valley including some fine Cumberland Donuts and maybe a 16oz cup of Mexicano from the Cumberland Grind.

    Just imagine, 94 years old. The only person I've seen who even looked that age was Burgess Meredith in GRUMPY OLD MEN (which is one of my all time favourite movies). In fact, the character of Grandpa Gustafson is 94 years old.

     A final prep and catching up also meant watching the second last episode of HELL'S KITCHEN. We hadn't watched it in a while since Gordon Ramsay is such an ass, which is his job. But even being an ass week after week gets old..."Never, in the history of Hell's Kitchen..." Same old story. Cut to commercial.

     Has anyone tried the "White Whale" restaurant in Courtenay?  If you have, please let me know what it was like.

    

Home Again

19:45 hrs.
20 July 14

     We're back home. We got up and had a light breakfast. The Couch Monkeys both pitched in and we soon had the trailer hitched up for the short trip back home.  But before we left, in fact before anyone was even up, I had wandered up the road to utilize the facilities when I spotted MORON in Campsite # 56 in the process of lighting a campfire.

     Now, the entire province is under a campfire ban so why does this Sickness think he is above the law. Sure, my family would have loved to have roasted some weenies over a camp fire and some mushmelons too! But we couldn't. Now, as much as I wanted a campfire the young family across the road with the little kids under the age of five could not understand why they couldn't have one too.

     I did pass this indiscretion to the park staff but I doubt if it will go anywhere.  So, I will fire of an email to someone much higher up the food chain. If anything, I would hope that this clown is banned from using any provincial campgrounds.

    On the way home we stopped at the GAS n GO in BLACK CREEK  and picked up tickets to a.....DRIVE-IN THEATRE. It will be at the Saratoga Speedway on 20 August 2014. Price is $30 per car load.

     This coming week will see our Japanese students arrive in Comox. We have acted as host families for a number of years now and we really enjoy it. The summer is always busy.

Habits

12:39 hrs.
19 July 14

     I would like to talk about habits. Good or bad everyone has habits. By its very name a habit is an action that is carried out of must be carried out as a result of a stimulus which could be anything at all. Think back 30 or 40 years when more than 50% of the population smoked, I know its hard to believe but its true, and what happened right after a meal everyone would LIGHT UP. People would do the same thing after having sex, too.

     Some peoples habits may be an annoyance to others, like smoking, while others should be annoyed by their own habits. Habits that have taken over their very lives. Freakish things like always putting only three globs of ketchup on their hotdogs or subsisting on nothing but Christmas fruit cake.

     I know, your asking yourself what in the hell does that have to do with the price of Tea in China. Well let me tell you that some people I know have a habit of rolling themselves up in the bed sheets and throwing them off and then rolling up in the bed sheets and then throwing them off. This habit is not a problem if you are sleeping alone but I am sure your partner is frustrated with unwittingly being forced into your NOCTURNAL THERMAL EXPERIMENTS.

     So, we headed out to Robert's Lake foe some sticky buns. Sticky buns the size of  Scabby Baby's Head, as one Newfie Mom put it. Here's a shot of Couch Monkey #1 standing next to what is probably the last telephone booth north of Campbell River. There is also one of the local pooch. It looks like something out of Berkeley Breathed's book "FLAWED DOGS". 

     One more pic shows one of our common forest denizens - the common banana slug. But this one is just a baby. You have to look close at the rim of the glass. Couch Monkey #2 had just taken a drink out of this cup whrn his friend was spotted. 

Faster and Faster

11:05 hrs.
17 July 14

     So the highway speeds between Parksville and Campbell River have been increased to 120 kmh. Yes, the road is engineered for this speed and all the increase has done is to legalize the speed at which drivers travelled at anyways. However, I just noticed that some people are not comfortable moving that fast which is fine because that is the MAXIMUM SPEED ALLOWED.

     Mark my words there will be some MORONS who will push the envelope even more. It won't be fun when these people start to hydroplane at 120kmh.

     If you have driven through Courtenay past Lewis Park you will know that LO's GARDEN has been closed for the past six months or more. This place has been a fixture in the area for a very long time and most of its business probably came from the old Courtenay House hotel that was right next door. The CoHo was torn down a number of years ago with nothing new being constructed since. Hint - it might be a nice place for a much needed homeless shelter.

     I must take the time to acknowledge and thank all of our summer residents from the Province to our immediate RIGHT for not driving like raving lunatics around the VALLEY as is the norm when  driving from Calgary to any touristy points in BC, especially around Radium, the Shuswap Lake and the Okanagan Valley.
Maybe the fact that your are on an Island has sunk in and doing 140 kmh or better to get to the corner store is not really necessary.

     Rumour has it that the house featured in the following photo is being built for a couple from AB.  Its pretty impressive but I would think the taxes will run them about 6.5K. Its on Marsden Rd. if your interested at looking at it.

A Peaceful Day in the VALLEY

22:30 hrs.
16 July 14

     So today was a peaceful sort of day. It wasn't so hot and a little breezy. Just enough to keep the mosquitoes away. Oh yeah I forgot...WE DON'T HAVE ANY  MOSQUITOES!!

     But, it was a nice day just the same. I spotted the HMCS ORIOLE, a sailing training vessel that is based out of CFB Esquimalt (I think). I also took a look at the work being done at yhe Buckley Bay ferry terminal. Its being turned into a cable ferry. I have my doubts on its effectiveness. I think once it is operating the winter storms will quickly reduce the number of crossings due to operational parameters.

Nothing new ...Really

18:30 hrs.
15 July 14

     Not too awful much happened today. My Darling Dearest went to her salt mine and I went mine while the Couch Monkeys had their own tasks to do.

     Kinda the same sort of stuff when I was a kid. The old adage "of do your chores before it gets hot out" doesn't really apply to these two because we don't have a vegetable garden where as the MATRIARCH still does. And trust me it produces some mighty fine veggies.

     There's another huge house going up in town. I neglected to get a photo of it yesterday. Its on Marsden Road and I'll have patrol past it. Its livable but its not as big as this other mansion on Anderton Road.  Huge houses. Wait for the pictures.

How hot was it...

16:15 hrs.
14 July 14

     They say "only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun" and they are correct. The temp gauge on the truck read 30C today and I didn't see too many loose dogs running around. I didn't see too many Englishmen or anybody else running around either. Everyone is kinda laying low with the temperature being this warm and yet my buddy from Port Alberni is taking the time to drive here to give me a salmon, that as of 10 am this morning was swimming peacefully through the Alberni Inlet until some guy hooked 'em and gutted 'em. NOW THAT'S A FRIEND!

     Since everyone was a bit pecking and it was too hot to cook we all dashed of to FLUID on Cliffe. The two Couch Monkeys ordered the Bacon Mac n Cheese, my BETTER HALF had the Chicken Quesadilla while I opted for the Ahi Tuna Burger. And the verdict is...IT'S ALL GOOD!

     I have sent another set of forms to the IRS in Austin, Texas. As I may have mentioned I had to apply for an individual taxation identification number (ITIN) in order to have no withholding taxes applied to the royalties on my book. My first application was rejected because I neglected to include a letter from the holding firm requesting me to have an ITIN (which was firmly stapled to my application) and I also neglected to include my return address which is surprising since the mailed back my passport. Once I receive this number I then have to fill out another form to have my royalties sent to me. If you think our tax laws are crazy try looking up some of the IRS shit. In fact when had called to enquire as to the status if my ITIN, after obligatory SIX WEEK WAIT, I phoned down to Austin Tx just find out that the person I was talking to at the ITIN call center was in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
     How friggin whacked is that?

     And he didn't even have a scanned copy of my application. All he had was a list of possible errors or omissions with no visual representation.

     WHAT A WAY TO RUN A RAILROAD!

     On a good note...the Church if England has decried that women can become bishops. Its about time.

BACK FOR ANOTHER LAP

16:10 hrs
13 July 14

     Well once wasn't enough do we just had to go back for another kick at the cat. After breakfast, which was scrounge your own grub kinda affair,  my BETTER HALF and I grabbed the shuttle back down to the Music Fest. The shuttle drivers chair was squeeking so much it sounded like he was riding atop a bucket of fresh cheese curds.

     The temperature hadn't had a chance to rise yet but it wouldn't be long before the old brain pan started baking again. 

     We started by listening to some guy yodelling while handling a squeeze box at the Instructional Stage. My Darling Dearest said it reminded her of her childhood. Next stop was the Woodland Stage where this nice couple played songs on a South American harp, guitars and maracas. She informed the audience that her style of playing the maracas was called "milking the goat".

     The two of us plunged headlong out to the sun filled venue to listen to some performers we had heard last night. Only this time all three bands were on the stage at the same time. One observation was the dance crazed fauna from last night was no where to be seen.

     After all was said and done we jumped onto the shuttle for a pleasant ride home. The Comox Valley Music Fest is done for another year. Would we be interested in going next year?  I would think so. I think the Couch Monkeys might want to go as well. In fact I think they might feel a little left out as my LOBSTER and I gained some freedom.

     One last note, rumour has it,  from a very reliable source (the mini donut guy),  that Colin James joined Bonnie Raite on stage to play out her final set last night. Now I wasn't there but stranger stuff has happened here before.

     My Li'l Sis just texted me. Looks like she having an all time family fave for supper. Pork chops with simmered in beer and mushroom gravy. Sounds yummy but in our heat I don't think so sis.
I'll have to pass.

We be Having Fun today

23:12 hrs
12 July 14

    

     Well, it was really freaking hot out today. I know that for most of Canada 30C is not all that hot. But here in the Valley it is damn hot and with weekend pass bracelets wrapped around our wrists we were off to the fair grounds.

     

     To get there we had the option of driving down towards the fair grounds in the hope of finding a parking spot nearby OR (OPTION 2) take shuttle bus, at the outrageous sum of $2, from QF on Guthrie to the venue direct. It was quite obvious that we had chosen wisely when we got to the top of the Vanier hill where we saw the starting line of parked cars. We were still more than a kilometer from the venue. I have no idea who owned those vehicles or where they lived, it may not have been in Comox but Music Fest was operating another park and ride shuttle from the Driftwood Mall. Acres of FREE parking on relatively flat ground and a chauffeured ride right to the front gate and back again at the end of the night. All for two bucks each way. Anyone not smart enough to recognize a deal when they saw it ended up parking at Vanier High school, a klick away, for $5, or along Headquarters road where, again, the line of parked cars along side of the road stretched for over a kilometer at the end of the night. MORONS!

 

     Music Fest has a number of stages and venues throughout the grounds with acts performing simultaneously. Some are large, like the main stage and some are small like this one tucked back in the woods. This guy's name was Beppe. An Italian folk singer and quite the comedian too. When people had had enough and were going to head off to another venue he started saying "Hey, don't go. If you give me another chance I can play better!"

 

 

     The BETTER HALF and I then wandered from this nice cool place in amongst the trees, in the shade, to another location that was more open and not so shady. The performers here were a loose knit group of R&B artists all jamming together and yet playing their own stuff. Really cool tunes.

 

 

     We stayed at this location just long enough for the cooling shade to start creeping across the lawn to where we were sitting and then IT WAS TIME TO MOVE. It was onto the main CONCERT BOWL stage with the crush of people and no shade for the next 2 plus hours. We did find a half decent spot to sit just along the BOOGIE SECTION on the left hand side of the stage. There were two of these BOOGIE SECTIONS. They are located on the left and the right hand side of the stage and allow people to get up and dance to the music with out blocking the view of the stage. To indicate where these sections are the Music Fest coordinators spray painted orange lines on the ground for everyone to see. Of course there are some who wanted to dance right in front of the artists while blocking the view of those seated on the ground. That's where security comes into play. In the following series of photos you will see a security guard keeping people from stepping out and blocking the sight lines. You will then see woman acting like an Intoxicated Stage Slut trying her best to antagonize the Security Officer (SO) by bumping and grinding against him. At one point she accidently smacked his glasses partially off his head. And when that didn't work to rile him up she started taking it off.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

     Through it all the SO acted as a professional. Yes, he could have had extra security come and escort the Misplaced Tavern Lizard out of the venue. Instead he kept his cool and kept moving her back behind the line by literally using his back. Never grabbing her with his hands which would have ended up being a bad situation. As a fellow SO I was very impressed with this tactic.

 

   Our passes are still good for Sunday and we may go to see some artists before the high heat hits us again. Maybe something at some of the cooler venues. If we do go we will be taking the shuttle of course. No sense getting caught up in all the hoopla.  

 

 



 

     

Thanks again

23:00 hrs.
11July 14

     I really don't know what the hell is going on. I feel miserable. My feet are swelling. I've chopped my coffee intake to ONE FUCKING CUP A DAY!  And I'm tired like nobodies business.

     Should I be concerned?

     I got back my ITIN from the IRS. I had to apply for an Individual Taxation Identifying Number from the US so I could apply in another form to have NO TAXES WITHHELD on my book royalties. The application was rejected because they said I did not put in my address and yet THEY MAILED BACK MY DOCUMENTS TO ME! Now I've got to do the shit all over again. I'd rather have bamboo skewers driven under my toe nails but what are you gonna do. Piss me off

     My buddy, Fred, saw my pic of me in my chef's jacket.  He said he'd hire me for the restaurant in Sechelt. Its the Old Boot Eatery in Sechelt. Great food if you are ever on the Sunshine Coast. Speaking of food SON #2 and I hit Yamato's fir a couple of Bento boxes at lunch time. Great Eats!

No Rest for the ...

17:05 hrs.
10 July 14
 

     Its been a busy day. I ha Couch Monkeys 1 & 2 assisting with numerous tasks. Of course #1 was still surly and sullen from last night when the Wi-Fi connection on his personally built 'outer kept cutting out. He "told" his mom, my BETTER HALF, that his friend had the same problem with his modem and his friend had to directly connect to the modem so could he please move the modem from its current location to his bedroom so he could directly connect to the modem too so he could continue gaming without any interruptions.

 

     "No. The modem stays where it is."

 

     And, that's when the surliness kicked into overdrive.

 

     All this happened when I was out at a meeting last night. However, I was informed of the situation when I got home. Thank goodness my LOBSTER and I are on the same page because today #1 came up to me and asked if he could move the modem. "I'll give you the same answer your mom did last night, no."

     

     And he stumped away to complete his chores.

     In the mean time,  Couch Monkey #2 was busy assisting me with all manner of jobs around the WAYWARD INN. We refurbished a garden bench by sanding, painting, staining and manufacturing some components. We tidied up the shop a bit (its an ongoing situation). We also, with the aid of a tape measure and a level to keep the construction side of my BETTER HALF happy, put up the sign that Li'l Sis sent me for a very belated B'day present.

 

     I don't know where she finds this stuff but I was pretty tickled when I opened the box. Son #2 had wanted a pony but Li'l Sis said it wouldn't have fit. And speaking of gifts. I have to thank a former co-worker for passing a couple of items over to my DARLING DEAREST. We will endeavour to take in the sights and we might even bump into you there.

     By the way, if you are driving along the K'omox Nations land and you are wondering what the heck that new building is going to be I have an inside tip for you. It will be the new Band Office. I wondered what was going up after they had dozed the house on that piece of land.

 

I Really Hate Waiting.!

23.30 hrs.
09 July 14

     I really hate waiting. Its not that I need instant gratification or anything like that but I don't like it. However, it is a fact of life that people have to learn to accept.

     There is different kinds of waiting. There is waiting for a person to arrive at an airport or a package to arrive. Currently, I am eagerly waiting for copies of my book to get here. I would rather not know that something is coming and arrive unexpectedly than have to spend weeks in frustrated anticipation. Bill Cosby spoke of this in the comedy bit "200 mph" where he was waiting for the delivery of his new car, a Cobra built by Carroll SHELBY & COMPANY. Cosby described waiting for this car was like a kid waiting for Christmas Eve. Its really funny and if you haven't heard it before I suggest you look for it on your favourite search engine.

     There are people who are always in a rush and cannot wait for anything including traffic lights and drive though line ups. Especially drive through line ups. Does it make sense that if you are truly pressed for time that you would purposefully pull into a fast food drive through?

     Recently, I was in my work truck going through one of those double lane drive throughs. Its not really any quicker, there is still only one window to pay/pick up your order. It is faster for the company as they can take in two orders at once.

    Anyways, I'm idling through and I'm about to place my order. There is two cars in the left lane and I'm on the right when this LADY zooms in behind me as it appears that my line is shorter. However, the staff inside haven't called to take my order yet as there is only one person taking the orders alternately from each lane. This HOT HEAD starts honking for me to move but I can't as I haven't ordered yet and then she sees the lane on the left shorten by a vehicle. There is no one behind her SO, SHE BACKS UP IN A DRIVE THROUGH LANE!!! And pulls into the left lane. But, now its my turn. I place my order and begin to idle towards the order speaker at which point I see this Whackadoo Lane Jockey back up from the left and slide to the right in behind me again.

     This is when I felt the need to teach her a little bit about TOLERANCE - that life is too short to be in a rush. Slow down and smell the roses kinda thing. As soon as she pulled in behind me I stopped my truck. She wasn't even close enough to place her order. In the meantime the person on the left was an elderly guy. So after he places his order I give him a wave to let him proceed before me. In the meantime, the WHACKADOO behind me is leaning on the horn to get me to move ahead. But my engine us off. The elderly guy is just starting to slide past me and I'm getting ready to pull in behind him when the GREAT IMPATIENT ONE goes to maneuver back over to the left again. She slams the car into reverse and backs up to the left straight into another car. OOOOPS!  Try explaining that one to the insurance company.

     On the flipside, waiting can be therapeutic. Think of it as a pause forced upon you by fate. Take advantage of it. Slow down, take a few deep breathes and relax. Take a look around and you might even spot yourself a WANDERING WEST COAST WHACKADOO.

Some Peoples Kids...

17:35 hrs.
08 July 14

     Some people shouldn't be allowed to have pets. They simply don't know how to look after them and what they think is a favour for their pet is actually cruel and dangerous.

     I am speaking specifically about these MORONS who must take their dog with them were ever the go. Inside or outside the house the dog is with them, which is okay except for the LITTLE RAT LOOK-A-LIKES. Those Chee Hoo-ah Hoo-ahs people carry like a living piece of jewelry made famous by that Hilton Ho a number of years ago.

     People. Listen to me. If your dog is in the car and your not... there's a problem!
I had, yet another call today about a dog left in a car with the windows most of the way up (so the dog wouldn't run away). The dogs owner works at the COURTENAY DENTAL CLINIC on 4th Street. She drives a SILVER SUBARU WAGON. This was the second day in a row that she has done this. Fortunately for her, this location is outside my jurisdiction or else "YOU'D HAVE SOME 'SPLAININ TO DO, LUCY".

     Because of my job I am not able to do it now, but when I was a reservist I came out of the Driftwood Mall and spotted a dog that was now on the floor of the vehicle not responding to any stimulus. The SHITHEAD manager in Zellers refused to page for the owner. So I went back outside and with the aid of a 3C cell maglite I ventilated his window just as he was coming out of the store. The following conversation was short and to the point. NO I wasn't robbing his car and YES I was going to report his dog's condition to the SPCA.

     We had to drop off SON #2 at KARATE for some more butt kicking lessons and instead of wandering about aimlessly like a couple of lost sheep (or worse...GOATS) we nipped down to the CFB CAMPSITE, also known as PMQ Ruff-n-it, to see some OLD FRIENDS of ours. He used to work in my building and She used to be a nurse in the clinic whose father in Newfoundland used to say thingd like "I'm so hungry I could eat a scabby headed baby!"   Lovely couple who call it as they see it and are unafraid to tell you when you are full of shit. My kinda people.

     While sitting and enjoying the setting sun upon the waters of the SALISH SEA we watched a Cruise Ship sail by. Which brings up another reason why it is nice to live in the Comox Valley. Watching cruise ships from a beach as they stream past. Can't do it in TO. Or in Winnipeg for that matter. Oh Well, sucks to be there.

New Developments

23:00 hrs.
07 July 14

     Finally a nice sunny day. Almost too sunny. But for our guests from CENTRAL CANADA it was perfect weather to catch the ISLAND LINK bus down to Victoria. Hopefully they would be able to see some of our gorgeous Island scenery that was previously hidden by the rain clouds.

     I wish I had gotten in on the ground floor of ISLAND LINK business. It has been quite obvious that the Greyhound Busline had been slowly bleeding to death for years. And your forget takingĺ the Via Rail dayliner. It hasn't been running for years and it won't be running for years to come. In fact my family and I were I on the last run from Courtenay to Victoria some four years ago. That is to say the train was cancelled that day and the whole lot of us had to take the bus down Island with the Via Corporate Promise that the train would be running it time for our return rip. NOT!! On the last day of our holiday we were faced with taking a rumbling coaching back north. Don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with taking a bus but if you paid for a train and you were promised a train it's just a bit disappointing to be on a bus.

     My BETTER HALF has ridden the ISLAND LINK bus. She said the drivers were very friendly and professional in every sense if the word. The point is it fills a niche. You need to get to Vancouver and your not on a rush. I bet you could go from Comox to YVR for about $50. ISLAND LINK to Departure Bay (Nanaimo) $25, walk on passenger BC FERRIES $15 and BC TRANSIT from Horseshoe Bay right out to YVR by bus and Skytrain can't be more than $10.

     I heard that the Comox SPCA is closed for another RINGWORM INFECTION. Okay, now what? The last time the place was closed to the public for damn near ten week. I didn't see any thing in the paper or on the radio. But you would think they would have informed all of the stakeholders. NOPE!

    

    

A Good Day All Around...

16:50 hrs.
06 July 14

     So, while I was off at the salt mines my darling BETTER HALF played chauffeur and tour guide to the guests from CENTRAL CANADA. For us it would have been the routine places to visit (Ho Hum) but, for the "Out of Towners", the touristy places that we Islanders take for granted were JUST AMAZING!!

    Immediately after breakfast the tour bus was loaded with two OUT OF TOWNERS and three Couch Monkeys (Ivan was along for the ride). And with my LOBSTER at the wheel they set off for Coombs Country Market, Cathedral Grove and the Deep Bay Marine Interpretive Centre. They were going to also take in a round of mini golf but the weather was iffy so they came home.

     Round trip was 200 km. Not a bad distance really when you consider some people from CENTRAL CANADA, or from any other BIG CITY,  put that and more on their vehicle during their daily commute in the Rat Race. That thought and the associated comments from our guests has sparked an idea that I hope may be of interest to anyone following this blog.

     I propose to start a list that I will post on this blog site. A Top Ten List of Reasons to Live in the Comox Valley. It will be a revolving list. I will start start it off with one item and I will add another as each day passes. If you have something that you feel is better or you would like to add something then please send me a comment listing your Top Ten item.

     Over the past two days the rain has been a Godsend for the surrounding forest. I know that a lot of people were not happy with all the rain. Except for the farmers and the gardeners and the hatchery workers, the arborists and my BETTER HALF, who just happens  to love the rain. So, if you don't happen to enjoy the occasional refreshing down pour then maybe you can move out to the prairies. Oh yeah, they're under a flood watch at the moment. The rain was great for me, work wise. Lots of rain means less people are out with their pooches and the frickin GOATS tend to stay inside too. Of course some people just love the windy weather. Check out these kite surfers on the inner harbour at GOOSE SPIT.

 

     I want to pass on a great big THANK YOU to our guests from CENTRAL CANADA.  It was a blast having you come to visit us out on the LEFT COAST. It was an honor and a pleasure to produce meals on the FLAME PIT for you particularly the scallops and the roasted red pepper salad. 

     Best Wishes on your Journey.

A Day at the BEACH

20:40 hrs.
05 July 14

     It was an early morning.
    
     Really early, when I headed out off to work. There was a method to my madness. If I put my in hours earlier then I can finish earlier and this was important as there were guests coming from Central Canada to our WAYWARD INN. Being up and on the road so early meant that I was able to see a pretty amazing sight out on Hamm Road. Brand new baby bison calves. Quite a cute sight. If you have chance to drive out and take a look.

 

 

     With me gone to work the task of logistics fell onto my BETTER HALF. After breakfast it was off to Costco then drop Son #2 off (to get his butt kicked at karate) before meeting our guests at the airport. By the time the company and their luggage was deposited back at home Son #1 had to be dropped off at Ivan's (to place a butt imprint on the couch) before swinging back to retrieve Son #2. And this was all done by noon today. IMPRESSIVE.

 

     After all the running around was done and all parties, including yours truly, had collected back at the WAYWARD INN it was time for a light lunch and a sampling of a fine single malt. JURA is an Islay scotch that my BETTER HALF gave to me as a surprise present today. It was recommended by a co-worker, a  real STAND UP GUY, who also appreciates the finer things in life. Thanks. I'll save a dram to share with you.

 

 

     Later, it was off to the BEACH. One of the true pleasures of living here in the VALLEY is the ability to have WEENIES ON THE BEACH. Of course you used be able to have a campfire at GOOSE SPIT any time of the year until some Money Bags Shit Disturbed, who just happened to live in his Aerie high above the SPIT, had forwarded the notion that beach fires were bad for you and the smoke polluted the air around his house. To that individual I say this "Close you damn windows Dick Head! One of Top Ten Reasons to Live in the Comox Valley is the ability to have a weenie roast on the beach in February while thumbing our collective noses at everyone in Canada who has snow on the ground. But, Oh No. The squeaky wheel almost got away with it. At the last minute the CVRD recanted the entire beach fire closure by allowing fires only from MAY to SEPTEMBER and at a reduced number of sites. Thanks for sticking up for the quality of life.

 

 

          The main point is we, my BETTER HALF and the COUCH MONKEYS really enjoy entertaining those who come to visit us at the WAYWARD INN. Its amazing how we can show PEOPLE FROM THE BIG CITY that you can live outside the RAT RACE and still survive.

  

Thanks for noticing

22:26 hrs.
04 July 14

Happy Independence Day to all my American Friends.
All five of you.
No really, I think I have at least ten.

     So I read where there may be a mistake between the original Declaration of Independence and the printed copies given out as souvenirs. It appears that a "period" in the wording of the first line may actually be a ink spot. This could affect the intention of the words but it is so entrenched that nothing will change.

     I would like to thank all those who spotted me in my NEW ATTIRE. It wears well and I really like it. Maybe, if your over someday I'll wear it while the BETTER HALF and I entertain you.
    
     Spotted a new recipe too that I have to try out. I may be looking for a test subject. Don't everyone apply at once. You may not like the ingredients but it includes SCALLOPS and the FLAME PIT.

     It never fails that we have great weather for weeks on end and just when you are expecting out of town guests at the WAYWARD INN the skies open up. On a good note the forest can really use the wet stuff. I'm waiting for some MOOK to go rocketing down Bates Road and flip a butt out the window. The bush would go up in a heart beat.

PLEASE BE CAREFUL!!

Road Trip

22:00 hrs.
03 July 14

     As today was a day filled with prepping for the guests coming to the "Wayward  Inn". I convinced the Couch Monkeys that if they were to ASSIST in some of the chores then maybe we could all go for a little jaunt up Island. Yes, its bribery of sorts but it doesn't mean that I have to acquiesce either. After all I am in charge... only because my BETTER HALF is at work.

     Lawns to weedwack. Toilets to clean. Guest bed linen to wash and then remake, which gets done after each of SONs #1 and #2 respective friends sleeps over. Then there was prepping the two kilos of wings for my LOBSTER's potluck for tomorrow. The list was short but varied enough to keep all busy until noon. Then it was load up the truck and crank the tunes (the MY TRUCK, MY TUNES rule applies) and head north.

     I like Campbell River. The place is really booming. There are new apartment buildings going up all over the place. And it would seem that they don't have the "Nothing Higher than FOUR FLOORS because IT WILL BLOCK MY VIEW' bylaw that dogs any new construction here in the VALLEY.
The mission to Campbell River was two fold.
     1) To treat the Yard Apes to a surprise snack/treat/lunch.
     2) Locate the restaurant supply house and buy myself my own chef's jacket.

     A quick Google search gave me the directions to "Dick's Fish n Chips". You will want to know where this is because it was by far the best I have ever had. It is located on the water below the Ferry Terminal that goes to Quadra Island. We parked at the mall across the street because four Campbell River City workers each had their trucks in the parking lot while they had a picnic nearby. Any ways, the prices a good and the food is fantastic. The only draw back is the service is a little slow but "Hey, your on the ISLAND, WHAT'S YOUR BLOODY RUSH!" SON #2 had the prawns and chips, I had the halibut and chips and SON #2 had the DEEP FRIED MARS BAR. Ungrateful little rat didn't even offer me a bite.

 

 

     Next stop was the supply house where I acquired my chef's jacket after which it was a quick ride home to begin making supper. the NEED for SPEED was essential as I wanted to get into costume to surprise my BETTER HALF. I was in the midst of gathering the components for HER wings and prepping the finishing of the BEET LEAVES and DOUGH when she came home. It took her about four minutes of standing in the kitchen before she realized what I was wearing was not normal. But, it did make her laugh some of the days stressors away. So, (to quote Martha) "That's a GOOD THING".



 

     Once the wings were done the next order of business was the BEET LEAVES and DOUGH, to which I also did some stick-its on the FLAME PIT. I sent some pix to my Li'l Sis and she had no clue as to what a stick-it was. I explained that when the MONKEYS were small we all would watch 6TEEN on the YTV station. It was a goofy kids show about HOODLUMS working, etc. in a mall in TO. One of the characters worked a food court kiosk that sold MEAT ON A STICK hence the name STICK-ITS.

 

 

 

 



     We're off to the races tomorrow. Back to the grind and I think I will be having some fun too. Just remember folks if you can't smile and have fun then "BLOODY WELL STAY HOME". Nobody likes a grump so if you 're not happy then fake a cold and stay home before you torque off your co-workers or your boss.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Busier and busier

22:30 hrs
02 July 14

     A couple of interesting things happened over the course of the day. To start off with we started the day short one child. No, he wasn't tied up and he wasn't in jail. Couch Monkey #1 spent the night at Ivan's which meant that after my Beloved Lobster went off to the Salt Mine it was up to Couch Monkey #2 and yours truly to hold the fort.

     So, the two of us did some light chores, I made a fresh batch of dough for beet leaves and dough (pix to follow tomorrow) and then the two of us went out for lunch as a treat. We vould have gone anywhere especially to a seafood place as we two are the only ones in the family who enjoy seafood. But no, we ended up at FLUID.

     Yes, it is a nice place however the menu is getting a bit stale. Son #2 had the pulled pork with locally made borenkaas grilled cheese while I had the roasted chicken club on a pretzel bun. Both sandwiches were over dressed making them damp and sloppy to hold on to. I should have mentioned it but I didnt. I should have looked into going to the new place THE WHITE WHALE on Comox Road.

     Here's a point to remember:
     IF YOU HAVE TO APPLY A CREAM MEDICATION WITH YOUR FINGER. MAKE SURE YOU WASH THOROUGHLY BEFORE YOUR FINGERS GETS NEAR YOUR EYE.
DAMON THAT HURTS!

     I recieved an email from my boss to inform me of a bylaw change in Coquitlam WHEREBY dog owners must now pick up flush their dog's shit. HOW BLOODY STUPID IS THIS!! It would be easier to train the dogs to use a toilet than it would be to train the owners to scoop and flush. Hell, there are people who don't even flush their own shit so I doubt if they will do it for the dog.

     We recieved some interesting news. It seems that SON #1's friend Ivan has been dumping resumes, at his mom's behest, all over the place. It paid off. He had an interview and has been hired on as a dish washer at a local family restaurant. You have to start some where and restauranting may not be your career choice but its good experience and puts cash in your pocket.
     GOOD ON YA!

     The weather here in the VALLEY is turning really hot and dry. Its time for everyone to start thinking about fire safety out in the bush and even along our rural roads where even a grass fire could be dangerous.

    

Oh Canada!!

23:10 hrs
01 July 14

Happy Birthday Canada!
Regardless of where you are around the world, if you are Canadian I hope you took time to hoist a brew and pat yourself on the back.  Revel in the fact that you are a member of a the best country in the world. Hands down no question about it. If you are in doubt consider the following:

A couple of years ago when I was "OUT IN THE WEEDS" I got to talking to this lady from the Lower 48. She had just told us of a co-worker who had worked for the company in Canada and was tired of communting to Seattle so he moved over the border permanently. She stated that he was oh so much happier. At this point I said,"Yeah, until he needs medical attention.Then he'll be back over the border lickety split."

The conversation then turned to medical care at which point I was informed by the YouAll that having socialized medicine in Canada meant that the government told us which doctor we could or could not see. It was truly amazing to hear twenty years after the Cold War ended Americans still firmly believed that SOCIALIZED equalled COMMUNIST.
No  - the FEDS did not tell us where we could obtain medical aid.
No  - the FEDS did not tell us who our doctor had to be.
Yes - we were to walk into any clinic and see any doctor available, go into any emergency   room without having to worry about how we would pay the bill.

I then asked this lady if she had any kids to which she said she had one. Was it a normal birth or complicated? Normal. What did it cost? Nearly $7K. At this point she asked how many kids I had and what were the costs associated to their births. Ah, I have two kids and it cost me maybe $10 for parking at the hospital.
The lady was floored. She just could not fathom the benefits of our medical system.
And I'll be the first to admit that it still has room for improvements but its a hell of a lot better than the MEDICAL PIRACY they have south of the border.

Did you attend your local Canada Day Parade?
Was it nice?
Its all relative really. Here in the VALLEY we did not have the well constructed over adorned self motorized parade floats that you would see in a major urbanized setting such as Vancouver or Ottawa. Instead we gave the local Lions Club towing a metal garden cage with large plush stuffed jungle cats. We have the local BUSH BASHERS aka the VALLEY JEEP CLUB with their adrenaline fuelled testosterone buggys caked in dried mud idling down the main street.

What's so special about that?
Its no different than any other weekend. Oh yeah. You have some red and white ribbons tied onto your roll bar. Good on ya.

At our small town parade we, like the BIG CITY events, had bagpipers, the required local politicians in classic cars, Shrines in their little cars, a man walking on stilts high above the crowd and of course there were clowns. But we also had roller girls.

Don't get me wrong. I love our small town parade. We parked at the library. Walked two blocks, put a blanket in the curb and chatted with people we had never met before. His young granddaughter checked every ten minutes to see if the parade had started by walking out to the centre of the road to see if was approaching. There were seven or eight fire engines. So many that I wondered who was on standby if the VALLEYs collective firefighting capability was all on parade.

And after it was all over we wandered down the middle of the street and over the bridge to the park where we watched the ques begin to lengthen in front of the over priced burger kiosks. A frozen mango on a stick. Sweet Cold Fiber. Yummy.

And I wouldn't want to trade the experience even to be the Canada Day Parade Grand Marshall in Ottawa.