Another Satisfied Customer

19:05 hrs.
19 Jul 15

     My BETTER HALF and I went all out. A full meal spread. On the Flame Pit I 'qued a road killed chicken and six more seasoned breasts while the bread machine churned out a batch of dough for a batch of beet leaves and dough. With a coleslaw salad and some sliced kohlarabi   the table was set. My Cuz'n from River City and her hubby were coming for lupper. As per usual the meal was well received.

     So when will todays teenagers finally realize that the internet is not the best source for information?

     "Dad, did you know that the song Jump by Van Halen is all about committing suicide?"

      BULLSHIT!

     And, if it was, which I very much doubt, I guess the joke is on me because I have listened to the song a gazillion times and I never thought of it in that manner. It makes me want to contact the writer and ask him for the truth just to clear the air...so to speak.

     Here in the VALLEY, I would like to know why anyone would want to own a bunch of goats. You heard me! GOATS! They're smelly. They're pushy. They're nothing but trouble.

06:15 hrs.
20 Jul 15

     Today is the start of another regular shift for me and the continuation of the Loin Fruits "10 on-4 off". It's quite the stretch but as the saying goes - "Good! It'll teach them some tolerance."

     Actually, they are learning a vast amount of skills that will be a welcome addition to their CV. A wide range of  knowledge coupled with real live hands on experience is never a bad thing. Especially when the majority of todays slack and idle youth can only cook with a microwave and clean up by using the garbage can or a dish washer. My only hope is that they realize that it will be directly transferable for use when they move out of The WAYWARD INN and into their own place.

     Get out!
     Good riddance!
     Keep going and
     Don't come back.

     I really don't want to have any boomerang children.  You know, you toss them out into the world and despite your best  efforts they keep returning. That's because they are leaving a perfect sheltered environment. Quick question - what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick! Don't use a boomerang! Use a stick! In other words stop being soft on your kids and don't provide a perfect environment. Use the stick to show them out the door or else they'll keep coming back. 'Nuff said.

20:10 hrs.

     I saw a huge tract of land at the top end - the west end - of Cessford Road that has just been logged off. Now with this extreme forest fire rating I am wondering just who in their ever loving mind would be logging so close to town? How close you might ask? Well, the other side of the river is Puntledge Park that's how close it is to town. It's my guess that it must be the K'omoks First Nations as they don't  have to follow any regulations while operating on their land.  A nice sentiment if their vehcles causes a fire that jumps  the river into the city.

     And a geomatics firm has been surveying the Tsolum Rivet for the new road and bridge that is to be completed in 2017, same time as the new hospital. Interesting how that works out.

     I started a new Facebook page to promote the sales of my book. Look for Wood Knocks and Tossed Rocks on Facebook.

Is Big Brother really watching?

03:50 hrs.
14 Jul 15

     I just got back to the WAYWARD INN from work and I have to make sure that I filled you in on what happened about eight hours ago.

     We had just finished supper. Carrots, shwartzies hashbrowns, and some mixed proteins. I say mixed because in cleaning out the freezer there were three bacon wrapped fillets and a chichen cordon swiss. So three of us a steaks and one did not. Loin Fruit #1 opted for the chicken. No sooner did finish dining and tidy up when there was a call from On-Tari-Ari-O. It was Costco calling with some important information. This was no ordinary rob-o call. It was targeted specifically at us.

     "Our records indicate that on such and such date your household purchased a box of chicken cordon swiss that may be from Lot Number 1, 2 or 3. It has been discovered that some of Lot Number 1, 2 or 3 is contaminated with salmonella. If you still have all or a portion of that purchase please return it to the nearest Costco outlet for a full refund. Thank you."

     I ask you this ...what are the odds that on the very day that the very last chicken cordon swiss was consumed that we would receive such a call? Well, when you consider that everything that you purchase has a bar code and all your purchases are correlated against your membership card the subsequent database provides the corporation, who ever it may be, with ability to reach out to you the customer. Pretty scary shit!

     Oh yeah, before I forget, Loin Fruit #1 is fine. Not even a tummy ache.

Hazaaah! The Rain is here!

11:05 hrs.
11 Jul 15

     Yes, the rain is finally here. I don't know how long it will be staying around but at this point it doesn't frickin matter. The forest is so dry the leaves from the deciduous trees are dried up and starting to fall as if it was autumn. At last count there were 195 wild fires burning in the province. Most of them will be allowed to burn out on their own unless they are threatening some sort of infrastructure.

23:35 hrs.

     So, we three are back from Music Fest. When I say we three it includes Loin Fruit #2,  my BETTER HALF and yours truly.  The other Loin Fruit had worked the early shift today, up and gone to start at 05:30 hrs, so he spent his evening hunched over his keyboard. His loss as we heard some great music plus there is always the fun of people watching. And, as I have said before, living in the VALLEY is like living in a bowl of granola. What ain't fruits and nuts are flakes.

     Yes, the boys are gainfully employed. Oh, they are being payed quite handsomely and they are learning some good work ethics to boot. Maybe they'll apply them to life here at The WAYWARD INN. It sure would help.

     Speaking of the WAYWARD INN,  we are still expecting some guests over the summer. Our perennial student from Japan will arrive in just over a week and in August,  my "Brother from Another Mother" will be visiting for about a week. With all that is happening, all of the schedules have made the calendar look like a CFL play book. My LOBSTER has commented that this will be one of our busiest summers and yet we haven't gone anywhere. But things will settle down on school is back in session when our plan will be to hitch up the mobile WAYWARD INN and head out to someplace quiet.

08:00 hrs.
12 Jul 15

     My alarm went off at 04:30 but my BETTER HALF got up and drove Loin Fruit #1 into work. I had covered the three previous early morning shuttles. When they started their positions my LOBSTER had looked into the local transit system schedule. Not so much to get them to work at O-Dark 30 but more for the subsequent shifts. Forget it. It would be a waste of time. First off there are very few busses that are routed to the base and secondly the timings are out to lunch. They don't even match up with the hours of the DND employees and when you couple the transit routes, which are so squiggly that they look like they were drawn on a map by a three year old having a tantrum, is there any wonder why there are so few riders.

     There is a Facebook page in THE VALLEY called RANTS and Raves. Sort of an online Beefs and Bouquets. Sounds like something I dreamed up doesn't it? There is some useful information that is passed along but for the most part it is just a collection of uneducated people who are whining perpetually about everything around them. I try not to engage these people as who knows what a bit of realism might do to the gene pool.

     And speaking about the shallow end, I have noticed in my work travels that there is a part of the VALLEY that is looking more like it is inhabited by emigrants from Pennsylvania or Kentucky.  Like on Orange is the New Black, I'll  call them Pen-tuckians. If you've seen the show you'll know what I'm talking about. Unfortunately, I have to deal with these people on a regular basis. It's kinda scary but it's easy when you talk slowly with small words and relate everything to their environment.

  

    

A poster that reflects my past

16:55 hrs.
07 July 15

     Someone sent me a poster from back when I worked on The Line. It pretty much sums up most of the things that a person would expect to experience in such an environment. I thought it was pretty funny so I thought that you, Dear Readers, would enjoy it as well.

 

 



     It pretty much says it all. But there are a few more that could be added such as:

• You've towed aircraft onto the flight line only to have the pilots say they were not going flying because it was too cold out. So you towed them back in again.
• Launched an aircraft on Christmas Eve just so the pilot can do "Touch and Goes" to keep his hours up before the end of the year.
• On shut down, warmed your hands on the exhaust in the winter.
• Pulled a bird's nest out of the same access panel three times in the same day. 
• Waited hours on end for an arrival that decided to land elsewhere and didn't call to let you know.
• Grounded an aircraft because the aircrew gave you a hard time for being "just a technician".

     If you think of any more please send them to me.

Back to the Rock

10:05 hrs.
05 Jul 15

     Well, it was a whirlwind trip. I had started writing a great blog while returning on the ferry but some how it was glitched. Something to do with saving the blog while not connected to the net. Kinda pisses me off but thems the breaks. The only thing of note on the trip back to the coast was the discovery of the 100 grit TP used in Merritt. I guess those high plains cowpokes like it rough.

     But now I am back home at the WAYWARD INN and I am proud to state that our two Loin Fruits are gainfully employed at the CFB. COUCH MONKEYS no more!

     Since returning home I have noticed that the lawns are now blonde. The constant heat and lack of precipitation has resulted in the enacting of stringent water resrrictions. Unless of course you are the City, Town or District as the water rules placed apon the home owners do not apply to governing organizations. It's in the bylaws folks, so there is no need to bitch when you see a boulevard being watered or a sports field soaking wet because your complaints will go no where.

     If you took a look at the colour of today's sky you will note a distinctive amber hue. There are several forest fires burning on the Island. From what I have heard from friends there is fly-ash falling in Duncan from the fire Over the Hump.  That's more than sixty klicks away meaning any hot embers falling along that line could easily spark additional fires. Reportedly there is another major fire near Port Hardy. And at this time the mighty Martin Mars water bomber is parked in Port Alberni because Premier Crispy Crunch and the Clown Squad felt it was not necessary to renew their contract. Gadzooks...the ASSHOLES ABOUND!

     My LOBSTER and I decided to enjoy a brunch at the Beachwood Cafe on Cliffe. Nice little place. Busy for sure. With a small but very manageable menu. At first glance the only thing missing was some staff. With all the tables and booths already full we were placed by the entrance at what must be the staff rest spot and we didn't mind as we were not about to hang outside waiting for a patron to leave.

     We ordered matching eggs benny,  eggs medium. Now, I happen to love eggs benny in all of its various forms. I've even had a deconstructed eggs benny. The basic is a toasted bread on which is a protein topped with a poached egg covered in a sauce, usually hollandaise. Simply. I make them at the WAYWARD INN about once a month and at the request of my BETTER HALF. However, on my way back across the Salish Sea I decided to have breakfast on the BC TakeMyMoney vessel. As breakfast was still being served I decided to splurge and have the benny. What a mistake that was! Eggs Benedict should only be cooked by those who love to cook, naye by someone who loves to create in their kitchen. On board Ye Olde Tub, the english muffin was over toasted, the ham was from a re-constituted cottage roll, the eggs were pan steamed and not poached and the sauce was a gelatinous with the consistency of wall paste. It was, in a word, industrial. Quite honestly,  I deserved to be presented with that garbage as I should have known not to order it in the first place. That being said the benny I enjoyed today was as far removed from the hull scrapings as it could possibly be. The english muffin was toasted but easily cut, the bacon was crisp but not cooked to the point of crumbling, the eggs (farm fresh) were poached to perfection with the rich golden yolk running gently through the handmade hollandaise sauce. If you like eggs benedict I suggest you give the Beachwood Cafe a try.

Road Trip

05:25 hrs.
27 June 15

 

     The Sages are moving and their #1 Son was wrangled into lending a hand. Well, a promise is a promise. I had promised and so a Road Trip was in order.

 

     For those of you, Dear Readers, who have embarked on a road trip the first order of business, other than prepping the vehicle and checking on the road conditions,  is selecting your personal music. On this note, I truly feel sorry for all those who have passengers that require a steady aural diet of Sharon, Lois and Brahms...Skiddee ma rinky dinky dink Skiddee ma rinky doo. For years my BETTER HALF had burned off cd's for our two Loin Fruits enjoyment that held every Couch Monkey song known to mankind. They tortured me.

    

     Road tunes.
     Those songs that elicit memories from your past. Those songs that enhance the driving experience. Those songs that hold you on the ragged edge and, most importantly, keep you awake! The question was what songs to take with me.  

    

     Freewill
     If you choose
     Not to decide
     You still have
     Made a choice!

    

     Speaking for myself, and you may disagree, but one of the best all time road trip albums is Meatloaf's Bat out of Hell. CCR, ACDC, Triumph, Van Halen and BTO are all excellent. However, one of my personal faves is Canada's prog rock icons RUSH. I know a lot of people don't like them. Doesn't matter, because you are not riding shotgun now are you! And besides, I believe road tunes are for the benefit of the driver to keep him/her alert.

    

     From the WAYWARD INN I first had to get off The Rock. To avoid the Metropolis, I selected the BC (SUCK YOUR WALLET DRY) Ferry Corp. Duke Point to Tsawwassen route. Once one the mainland it was an easy drive straight up Hwy 17 to the TCH East bound for Hope. The plan was to refuel in Hope or maybe push through the Coquihalla to Merritt but the best laid plans...

    

     Coming into Hope my options were to take the Coq or the Fraser Canyon route. For those of you who have been around the block a few times you will know that there used to be only one highway to the Coast namely the TCH through the Fraser Canyon. That narrow winding roller coaster road that would add an extra two hours to my trip. Coming in to Hope the road sign signs stated Hwy 5 was closed. WTF. I refuelled and asked the staff if the #5 was closed and in deed it was. A massive pile involving wildlife, a sedan, a tow truck and a tour bus. Thirty five persons injured. Time for Option B...the road less travelled...except for today when everyone was on it.

    

     Off we go, with a firm grip of the steering wheel and The Tunes cranked. 

    

     Yes, the Coq is a big wide fast super freeway that cuts off two hour of travel time. But, its boring. Not, the scenery. The scenery is fantastic and the sweeping road bed allows you to take it all in. Its the drive itself that is boring. The Coq is perfect for robots and Albertans who want nothing more to drive fast from Point A to Point B without stopping. A real BC'er, one who grew up driving logging roads (such as yours truly), will relish the challenge the Fraser Canyon. It's driving the road that is fantastic. There is no time to look at the scenery and using cruise control is out of the question. Just for fun try changing a cd one handed while taking S curves in the bottom of the canyon. I formally double doge dare all real driving enthusiasts to take on the Fraser Canyon Challenge.

Time to go

14:55 hrs.
24 June 15

     I think its time for some of these persistent whiners to go.

     I was out and about in the Valley when some hoyty toyty ladies complaining about some our more prevalent homeless people. 

      "Why dont they just go away? Don't they know they're not wanted? We should offer to send them someplace."

     Well, as someone who has spent  some time working at various jobs in the public, I have met with many of our housing challenged and I have found the vast majority of them are in their current predicament due to an unfortunate chain of events some of which were under their control. Now, they are marginalized by a lot of the populace.

     A solution would be to force the hoyty toyty's shadow our urban vagabonds just so see how tough it is to survive. If this was to happen maybe a solution would be found sooner.

06:40 hrs.
25 June 15

     Well this will undoubtedly make some people happy but it just torques me off. The Great and Powerful NHL COMMISSIONER has indicated that the NHL is looking to expand. Any new team will have to ante up $500 million. And who will ultimately pay for this? The people who dreamt of being a big sports star or those arm-chair athletes who instill their wannabe ideas in their children and will collectively spend a gazillion dollars on equipment, etc.

     I hate to say it but very very few of the kids in Peewee Hockey will become the next Sundin or Gretzky. Facts are facts. So, promote it for the health reasons and not as a profession.

     $500 million just to extend the playoffs past Canada Day. How much torture does the common man have endure? I say make the NHL buy in $500 million with $250 million going to a local homeless assistance/addictions program. In fact, have of the gate price price should go to similar local programs.