So that's what the problem is!

01 Sep 20

19:15 hrs

     We've been busy at the Wayward Inn. Then again, when are we not busy in some way shape or form. Last week was a busy work week for me and my Better Half. After I finished working on Thursday I came home picked up the Jr. Couch Monkey and drove him out to where we would be camping. Unfortunately,  the place I wanted to go was full so I had to back track to a second location. When we arrived we were informed that all of the sites were full. A little bit of begging and I secured a spot in the overflow site next to the boat ramp. After assisting in putting up the BAT I bid my son adieu and headed home. After work on Friday I met my Friend from Over the Hump at the Wayward Inn. I got changed, we loaded the boat and headed off to the lake. 

     Now, the road into the campsite is only 5km long from the main logging road which is pretty short as far as logging roads go. But, it hasn't been plowed in at least five years. All the other logging roads in the area are so smooth you could push a baby carriage and not wake the occupant. I'll be calling my local MLA about this bullshit.

     Once we got to the lake the boat was dropped on, the Jr. Loin Fruit was loaded in it and I took him to the other end of the lake for a solo camp over the next two nights. We checked on him the next day as we trolled by. We had planned on doing it again in the afternoon but the weather turned shitty and I wasn't about to launch the boat. The next morning we fished for a few hours, broke camp, retrieved the Loin Fruit and headed home. We had landed only four trout and my boat still has a leak.

03 Sep 20

19:45 hrs

     The Oma-nator is now wearing a boot cast on her right landing gear. We don't know how it happened but somewhere along the line she broke a bone in her foot. She was suffering from aches and pains but nothing like this. 

     So, on with the boot!

     She has an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon in a week or so. My guess is they'll let the injury heal on it's own

     The salumi that Chef Blaine started two weeks or so back is doing nicely. It has to reduce in weight by 35%. They started at 510 grams. They're sitting at 380 grams and have to reduce another 50 grams. He figures it will be another week just be safe and he is already looking at doing his own pastrami or capicoli or maybe salami. He has asked me to look for large sausage casings.

     Elric the Stalwart and his Lobster will be coming over to the Wayward Inn for supper on Saturday. Chef Blaine and Sous Irene will be prepping fajitas - beef, chicken and veg - with locally made corn tortillas and homemade salsas. I don't know if they've eaten fajitas before so this might be interesting.

04 Sep 20

04:30 hrs

     I just caught a story on a major Hugh-ess news network of another African American male dying while in police custody. For some unknown or imagined reason they had placed a cloth bag over his head - supposedly to protect the officers from being spit on. This shit has really has to stop and before it does  believe there will be another civil war South of the 49th Parallel. All I can suggest is that we keep our collective heads down when the shooting starts. Another issue coming to a head for our neighbours is the fact that due to the Beer Flu their neighbours, The Great White North and The Big Salsa Bowl have both closed their borders to casual crossings a lot of which was for medical reasons. It is well known that some medical drugs - insulin is an example - are far cheaper outside the borders of the Hugh-ess and a large number of those in need regularly travel over the border to fill their prescriptions. It is unfortunate to those in need that Big Pharma has trapped patients with their affliction.

21:45 hrs

     Prep work for our guests have begun. The beef has been seasoned and the chicken is marinating. My Lobster had purchased a big bunch of peppers from a local home gardener. Sweet, hot, mild, Hungarian and Mexican. Outstanding. We love peppers and for some applications the hotter the better. Chef Blaine has taken some green cherry tomatoes and has created a salsa verde for tomorrow's dinner. Sous Irene will use the ripe tomatoes to make a regular salsa. Desert will be the PBR STREETGANG mango cream pudding.

He's at it again!

20 Aug 20

06:45 hrs

     Chef Blaine is at it again!

     Feeling the need for some basic comfort food I asked him to make an old family favourite - Poor Man's Borscht. It's nothing special and it's not complicated but it is something that my L'il Sis and I grew up with. My Lobster, who wouldn't eat soup on a bet, pooh poohed the dish calling it dirt soup and as a result the only two people who ate were myself and the Sr. Couch Monkey. That's okay that just means there was more for me.

     Chef Blaine has also branched out on a new pursuit - the dry aging of meat. Meats can be smoked to preserve them for future use but another method, a more ancient method is to cure and dry age the material. By drying the meat, not as dry as jerky, moisture is removed and spoilage from bacteria is also removed. 

     He took two pork tenderloins, butterflied them and then weighed them. Next, sea salt or non-iodized kosher salt is measured out at 2.5% of the weight of the meat. To that, curing salt at .25% of the weight of the meat is also added. These salts were rubbed into the meat before they were sealed in a bag and allowed to rest for 6 days. For the next step the meat was rinsed off, dried off and seasoned with paprika, cumin, fennel and black pepper. The tenderloins were then rolled, tied, wrapped in cheese cloth and tied to hang in the shop bar fridge. How long does it hang? Again, the time is determined by weight. Before hanging the meat was weighed, 510 grams and 506 grams respectively. When they have reduced in weight by 35% it will be ready for consumption. Look in any delicatessen and you will find meats of all sizes and shapes and flavours hanging from the rafters ready for sale.

21 Aug 20

13:00 hrs

     We just finished Trouble Game #895 - at least it seems like it. The Oma-nator won. She doesn't always win and the style of Trouble that we play could be best described as cutthroat. It's everyone for themselves and no quarter given. Go get 'em!

22 Aug 20

05:00 hrs

     I have no idea why I am awake and up at this hour. Something popped I to my head while I was sleeping and I couldn't shake it. So now I'm enjoying some roof tar while watching the news. Of course, it's still dark outside. The sun won't be up for another hour. The seasons are changing here in the Valley. Leaves are starting to change colour already, especially on the big leaf maples as the heat of summer stresses them out. I remember when we lived in the 'Peg the seasons could and would change in a couple of weeks and skip one season altogether. From 30°C and mosquitoes to -10°C and swirling snow. I prefer being here.

Back from the Weeds

13:45 hrs

14 Aug 20

     This years expedition is now over and as much as I really enjoy going out into the Weeds hosting an expedition adds multiple layers of stress onto what should be an enjoyable outing. Overall, the expedition was a solid B in the success department. We had no injuries, there were no fights, no accidents, two possible sightings of the big and hairy kind, several rocks were throw in our general direction and a number of vocalizations were heard.

     While I was slogging through the trenches my Lobster had to take the Oma-nator for an appointment in River City and for a bubble tea as well. On the drive up the coast she noted the number of large new apartment/condo buildings that have gone up in the last little while. I had seen the construction when i went fishing with my Friend from over the Hump. If I had the time to stop and take some pictures I'm sure that my Lobster's Travelling Relatives would like to see the changes taking place in their old neighborhood. What really strikes me is how the contractors in River City can build condos over four floors in height and the morons at the city halls here in the Valley will not allow, under any circumstances, a building to be more than four residential levels tall. To gain height the developers are placing these four floors atop of a two level above ground car park. So guess what? Its six floors tall.

     My Li'l Sis and Aynsley made a trip to the Sage's place a week or so ago. It was the first time Aynsley had met this portion of her family and from what I was told all went well. L'il Sis said that it would be good if I went to visit the Sage's. My Better Half suggested that I go for Thanksgiving as we will not be travelling to the north end of the Rock anytime soon. I may or may not take one of the Loin Fruits with me. If I did it would most likely be the Jr. one as it our hope that the Sr. one will be gainfully employed by then. The only issue with bringing the Jr. Loin Fruit is that he has taken it upon himself to really push my buttons with his regurgitation of the high fallutin university psycho babble. I'm getting too old to care anymore. 

     What I do care about is this...I'm looking forward to the day when the Wayward Inn is paid off and when this Beer Flu is gone and when we are both retired to sitting on a tropical beach for a month at a stretch. Cold beers, warm sand and my Lobster beside me.

     I haven't touched any of my writing projects in the past six months. I know that I should pick it back up and get the shit done. The rewrite of Who Let the Goats Out  is pretty much done. I have to come up with a couple more stories and it still has to be edited mind you. Then there is the cook book and the last non fiction work. Five books. All different subjects.

19:45 hrs

     Tonight was not good night for games. I lost at Sludge Pit cribbage and two games of Trouble. My only consolation was finding and eating the first two ripe cherry tomatoes on our plants. We didn't plant these plants nor did we propagate them. My Lobster found them on marketplace for free. They were ten inches tall when we brought them home. They are much bigger now and the largest of them has grown taller than our blueberry bushes. I figured they would get so big, flower, produce fruit then die. But no. They just got bigger and bigger. And all the while flowering and producing fruit that wasn't ripening.  I talked to the Sage about this and was told that I had to prune off the male branches if I wanted to have the fruit ripen. But which are the male branches i asked. Simple, son - the useless ones with no fruit or blossoms on them. Thanks mom.

23:15 hrs

     The one thing you don't get a lot of when you are Out in the Weeds is news of current events - local or other wise. One thing that surprised me is how the Tangerine Tyrant has gone about facilitating a failure of the postal system to prevent mail in ballots from ever reaching the counting stations. Not only did his buddy, the Postmaster General, begin to remove neighbourhood mail collection boxes from across the country he also began the dismantling and the destruction of automated mail sorting machines which means the 10k peices of mail that is electonically sorted per hour will now have to done by hand. So, not only will it take longer for your mail (personal, business and government) to get to you but it will be almost impossible for you to send back a reply. I guess if he can't win by preventing mail in ballots from being used he's just going to prevent the mail in ballots from going anywhere. 

     Tomorrow is adventure day.

15 Aug 20

06:15 hrs

     I probably would have slept longer but we have a new rental cat who takes great pleasure in bolting up and down the hallway in the early morning. She's only nine months old and Miss Maggy Baggybits hates her. This is our second rental since Mr. Teddy Buttnuggets passed away and as important as it is to facilitate the habituation of these rentals so they can be adopted I have no attachment to them at all.

     I'm an old guy and being an old guy I'm partial to original things. Original art, songs, movies, etc. In my opinion, very rarely does the remake out shine the original. American Woman by the Guess Who is great. The Lenny Kravitz version not so much. Original Coke is far Better than any new recipe. The 1980 remake of the Mustang sucked. However, I recently watched a remake of the movie Death Wish that was really good. The original, starring Charles Bronson, came out over forty years ago. The updated remake starring Bruce Willis is just as good. You should give it a look see on Netflix. 

     Chef Blaine has a new experiment on the go. Previously, on several occasions, he has created a smoked and cured pork loin which was delicious. The only issue was when it was drying in the refrigerator the rich smoke scent, as deliciously intoxicating as that is, had permeated up through to the freezer compartment. The Jr. Couch Monkey once asked me why the frozen french fries smelled of mesquite. The new goal is to produce his own dry aged meats. If you have the ability, would you rather make your own home made salumi/salami (where you have control of the ingredients) or the mass produced stuff found at your local deli?

19:45 hrs

     Yes, today was adventure day which started out with yours truly not being able to find his wallet. For the next 2 1/2 hours I searched high and low in every nook and cranny. Finally, when I had reached the end of my rope the Oma-nator said a prayer and I found it. This is the nice version. Deal with it. 

     We drove south towards Hub City but not quite that far. I had to pick up something for the PBR Wayward Inn and on the return leg we stopped for an icecream cone. Coming back into the Valley there were three Queens's Cowboy ghost cars. We skated through.

     Well, Dear Readers...there's more on my plate but I think this is just about all you can digest.

Out and About

01 Aug 20

05:00 hrs

     The Valley is on a watering restiction so yours truly is awake and manning the pumps. I'll spend my time to catch up on the news programs that I recorded. Over the past few days I've been prepping the Mobile Wayward Inn to go Out in the Weeds. Its pretty much done now being loaded with food, water and libations. I did some clean up around the house too including a dump run. Our landfill is located out by the Wild Wild West. When I drove through I saw that they are building a  new firehall. This a good thing as the current firehall is probably a heritage building. The new one is more centralized to the ever expanding community. 

18:00 hrs

     Chef Blaine has ribs and a pork tenderloin on the Flame Pit. His sous chef is making the salad. The Oma-nator will be happy to chew on the ribs.

     My Li'l Brother is flying in from the Peg on Monday. I invited him to come Out in the Weeds with me next week. As the organizer I'm not charging him anything. I don't charge my Friend from Over the Hump either and he has been out on at least three other expeditions that I can remember. 

     Out for a walk with my Better Half she commented that the Beer Flu has not put in a dent in the housing market, at least locally. In the past week we have both seen at least a half dozen moving trucks in just our neighborhood. What has changed is the way people are conducting their house hunting. Gone are the days if trudging from house to house with your realtor or attending an open house with a crowd of other shoppers. The new method is to take an online virtual walk through from the cocooned safety of their current home. Buyer beware. It is risky to buy anything on line and this risk increases as the value increase but the risk of possibly catching the Beer Flu - and possibly dying from it - is worse.

     Our latest rental cat has been put up for adoption at one of the local pet stores. When we got her we had been told that she had an anxiety issue and was urinating anywhere she wanted. Well, we saw none of that. First, she's only a nine month kitten. Her first owner, from what we were told was an older person, who may not have scooped the box every day and after a few days a fastidious feline will be looking for a cleaner place to do its business. 

     A friend of mine posted this unique trick where instead of pouring out your bacon grease she stirs in oatmeal to it as it cools. This is now distributed as bird feed which is far better than bread crumbs. Here at the Wayward Inn,  we're going to give it a whirl.

     This will probably be my last post for a while as there is no cell access from Out in the Weeds.  Be safe and take care of each other. 

You would think...

23 Jul 20

06:24 hrs

     You would think that after 40 years or more of shaving that my lower lip would have enough scar tissue built up that the odd nick of the blade would not require the use of dampened tissue or a styptic pencil. 

     No.

     You would think that if you recieved a gift that you don't particularly care for that you would still say thank you and then quietly re-gift it when no one is watching.

     No.

     You would think that if you are an elected official and you get your hand in the cookie jar, not once but time and again, that you would step down and walk away from the position because you are a greedy pig.

     No.

     You would think that people who consume soy or almond "milk" would be smart enough to know that soy beans and tree nuts do not have mammary glands and therefore what they are drinking is best described as nut juice.

     No.

     You would think that if people knew what hot dogs were made of and how they were made that they never eat them again.

     No.

     You would think that as a highly successful comedian who was adored by millions of fans and who never cursed while performing his act, Bill Cosby would guilty of such heinous crimes.

     No.

     You would think that common sense would prevail and people would fall into the traps set by demagogues such as those pushing the Q-ANON agenda in the Hugh-ess.

     No.

     You would think that everyone knows that putting ketchup on a hotdog is just plain wrong.

     No. 

     You would think that people who read this blog would comment.

     No,

     

     

     

     

Grumpy like a piece of broken furniture with splinters!

16 Jul 20 

07:15 hrs

     That's what my Lobster called me. Grumpy like a piece of broken furniture with splinters. After eight late nights of which four were full blown graveyard shifts someone my age just might be a bit testy. Such is life deal with it.

     I spotted a great movie on Netflix that I hadn't seen in years - True Romance with Christian Slater. It came out in the 1990's and if you haven't seen it. Be prepared for lots of gun violence. Are there any winners? Not really.

     My outing in August is fast approaching. Some of the participants will not be coming because the border between us and the Hugh-ess will be closed to the el Touristas for another month. A good call on the part of the Boys on the Hill as the Beer Flu disinformation from the Tangerine Tyrant has allowed the infection and death rate to climb ever higher. In following the news cycle it is evident that the lower levels of civil administration - mayors and county leaders - are now beginning to follow the science and are ignoring the demands of the POTUS and his sychophant state governors to open businesses and schools. 

16 Jul 20

15:15 hrs

     The Oma-nator is still napping. The Jr. Loin Fruit has gone to hang with some members of the BOM and the Sr. Loin Fruit is deep within his Fortress Solitude. After my series of late nights I had a couple of days off. I'm back escorting tomorrow and then all next week. After that I only have another week or so until I'm Out in the Weeds. Am I excited? Is the Tangerine Tyrant morally corrupt?

     That being said I'm going fishing with my Friend from Over the Hump on Saturday. We'll go go back to our favourite fishing hole and drown a few more worms. There will be no need to cut the day short this time. Unless we limit out early which has been known to happen. I still have the fish from our last excursion and with what we catch on Saturday I will put in a brine and then smoke.

     Do you like Pink Floyd? Some their really really early stuff is very twisted. Have you listened to their song - Several species of small furry animals grooving together in a cave with a Pict - from the album Ummagamma. No? I have. It's kind strange but if you close your eyes while listening to it the title makes perfect sense.

     Cocoons! Not raccoons - bloody trash pandas. I'm talking about cocoons. That insulating wall that some individuals layer themselves in. Sometimes it's to shut out the hurt. Sometimes it's to avoid others including family members. Some people are able to tactically insulate themselves while others, like the Tangerine Tyrant, have the mental capacity of a small dirty soap dish and are quite capable of living in some alternative universe that is completely devoid of scientific fact which provides many layers of insulation. 

     I'm not saying that being able to back off from a situation in order to regroup is a bad thing. It's not but sometimes you can't wait and you must simply work through the situation. The Japanese use the Eight-fold fence as a mental distancing technique on a daily basis. 

Little Ones

07 Jul 20

20:45 hrs

     There have been a couple of new arrivals on this Third Rock that should be mentioned. First is the arrival of my Cuz'n's granddaughter. This particular Cuz'n and his branch of the family had been lost to antiquity only to be discovered in the late 1990's. 

     When I first met him and his mom, my aunt, and his brothers we were seated a big restaurant. He was at one end and I was at the other of a very long table. Looking at him was like looking in a mirror except he was a bit bigger and a fair bit younger than myself. A number of years later when we had moved out to the Left Coast I learned that he had unwittingly moved into the very same apartment,  not just the same complex or the same building but the very same unit that I had occupied before I got married to my Better Half. Now, isn't that weird coincidence? Now, he has a granddaughter who will be spoiled rotten and handed back to mom so she can deal with her. Just desserts.

     The second arrival, actually it's the second and third arrival - a set of twins - is to a friend of mine and the Couch Monkeys. She is a couple of years older than our Sr. Loin Fruit and has been a fixture in the local scouting movement for years. She is one person who could always be counted on to assist in just about any project and is a very warm and caring person. All of us who know her just know that she will be a great mom.

21:45 hrs

     I'm at work. Watching contractors. It's a no brainer but the squadron is conducting night ops. The engines are turning and the air is filled with the heady exhaust coming from the gas turbines. Years ago, when the airforce had more planes, you could smell it all over town and the sounds from airfield demonstrated that this was the best means of converting JP4 jet fuel into pure unadulterated noise as the jets thundered down the runways. 

08 Jul 20

17:15 hrs

      I'm waiting for my workers. Rain is threatening to fall here in the Valley but that's okay as we haven't had a good rain in quite some time. Last night, actually it was after my shift at O-Dark 30, the Dispatcher informed me that our neighbour - this Dispatcher lives a couple of doors down from the Wayward Inn  - had the same thing happen to his boat trailer as I did on mine. A blown bearing. He discovered it on his arrival back at home. His boat is much bigger than my 12 foot tinny and is designed for moving fast while towing some screaming Yard Apes on an inflatable device. His situation is much dire than mine was as the disintegration of the bearing scored the axle shaft. Such is life.

     My Lobster saw in the local cage liner that there will be another 40+ unit town house development going up in our portion of the Valley. That's a good and bad news scenario. Good as we could do with more residents and bad that it isn't more affordable rental units that we so desperately need.

     The Oma-nator has been with us eight months now and we have conservatively played over 500 games of Trouble. Think about that for a while.