Switching Channels

15 Dec 20

17:30 hrs

     Hello Dear Readers,  

     Today is the Sage's 58th Anniversary.           So, here's to them! Congrats. On another note...

     I don't know if you put much stock in your local radio station especially with the advent of all the radio stations being available on your cable subscriber and an app for your phone. Here in the Valley we have two radio stations plus a repeater up on the mountain that relays the national station. The national station is great for the news (and some other programming) and in my opinion only one of the two local stations is worth tuning into. This particular station has flipped its call sign several times in the last dozen years while the other simply plods along. Now, if your vehicle has a half decent antenna you can pull in stations from River City, Hub City and The Pearl of the Left Coast. And these are the ones I can get from here in the Valley with the Ram. My Better Half's car, mmmm not so much. Maybe because its lower to the ground it doesn't catch all that many boomatrons. 

     Like anyone who is my age I have my favourite stations programmed on my vehicle's radio. Buttons one through six. (Take note that I will be referring to the music that I like and so please do not be offended if it is not your kind of music.) In fact, this has nothing really to do with music. It has more to do with what is annoying and how to easily remove the annoyance. So, buttons one through six. Button one is set for the national channel for news at the top of the hour. Button two is for the better of the two (in my opinion) local stations - the one with a dominant presence, a healthy drive crew and a good mix of music. Buttons three through six are similar to Button two but are set for other reception areas that are increasingly farther away from the Valley. This gives me the ability to readily change stations and still listen to what I like while cutting out what i don't like. I, like everyone of you my Dear Readers, enjoy some musical groups and loathe others. Their names are not important but what is important is the flexibility that we, as operators, to remove the annoyance that can impede the pleasure of commanding our motor vehicles. This is the truth, is it not? Imagine you are driving down the highway humming along to one of your faves blaring out of the speakers when the next song is from a band whose rhythm method sends your heart into an immediaye arrhythmia. The specific part could be the lead singers voice, the twanging of the guitar, the fact that it is a shitty cover of an original or the beat has been stolen and recorded. It could be the entire genre or the fact that the artist/band/group does not actually play any actual instruments - heat box techno-crap really turns me off. What ever the causation it's great to know that with the simple push of a button you can easily continue to listen to what pleases you.

     

Are they gone?

09 Dec 20

20:45 hrs

     We've sent ours out have you?

     Christmas cards. Have you sent yours out? Do you send any out? I remember when just after I got hitched to my Better Half we were sending out eighty or ninety cards. As time went on we both realized that we had lost contact with some individuals and so the list was shortened. It leveled off at about sixty cards for a dozen years or so but in the past three years it has dropped to about thirty cards as people have known have passed away. Another set of people were dropped of the card list when we noticed that we had sent cards to them and had no returns in the past couple of years. Gone!

      For four years I had given my co-worker a card and a pony sized bottle of some traditional Christmas coffee fixings. Not even a card with a coffee house gift card in return. He's off the list, too.

12 Dec 20

07:45 hrs

     We went out looking at lights last night. A gentle drive through some of the more festive neighborhoods. There is a local Facebook page that identifies where the best lit streets are. I think I the next time we go out to one of these places I will stop and take some pictures to show you what they are like. Some of them are nearing Griswold in their brilliance.

     Last week we were on a mission of mercy to River City.  One of our friends was confined to her workplace due to the Beer Flu. We drove up and took her a care package. On the way up I noticed that the work on roadway in front of where my Lobster's Travelling Relatives used to live is almost completed. The work includes widening the road bed, putting in safe crossings for pedestrians and more importantly a decorative divided roadway.. this work had started about five klicks back. Now it's up to the Big Boulder. There are more giant rabbit hutches going in too. I would almost hazard a guess that River City is growing faster than the Valley. 

13:00 hrs

     Chef Blaine has tried his hand at baking some homemade butter tarts. The pastry turned out fine as did the batter. But there was more tarts than batter so he made some in lieu batter and spooned it on top of some of the shallow tarts. Not smart. I think it may have burned. At any rate, it will be a bitch to clean off. For supper he has some strip loin steaks marinating in a Korean type sauce. Except for the Oma-nators steak. It is seasoned with a little pepper, paprika and cumin. Sous Irene is making potatoes au gratin. Or, as the majority of the Great White North calls it: scalloped potatoes. Chef Blaine will make a spiralized butternut squash as well. Loin Fruit Number Two will have to look for his own protein source.

     I saw in one of the scandal rags that the sniper troops of the Great White North are going to get some new rifles. Designated the C20 and chambered for 7.62 mm some 280 rifles (and spare parts) for 8 million and change. It works out to about 31K per rifle, which is insane. Of course the Feds had to pay for the research and development.

17:00 hrs

     The Tangerine Tyrant has been voted out. The Electoral College votes on Monday to confirm what everyone already knows, in that the Orange Shit Gibbon lost big time and yet he continues spend millions of dollars pursuing these insane lawsuits in some attempt to have the legal voting results overturned. In the meantime the number of people out of work in the Hugh-ess due to the Beer Flu is increasing daily to the point that food banks around their country are seeing a 10x or 20x increase. Just think about that as Christmas approaches.

     The nights are still getting longer. The 21st of the month mark's the shortest day and longest night. Occasionally on the Left Coast we have some days that are sunny enough to recharge the solar lights strung on the gazebo over the Flame Pit. When we do have a day clear of heavy clouds we can see the accumulation of snow on the Beauforts. It looks great on the mountains but not on the Valley floor.

     

Too much & Too soon

22 Nov 20

17:38 hrs

     Hello Dear Readers, 

I need to express an opinion and I would really like an answer. Here goes... Do you think that there is too much holiday creep happening? Holiday creep is when the stores, especially the big box stores, have the Valentine's stuff out for sale two days after New Years and the Easter specific items out for sale on February 17th, the new school supplies are available by the Nation's birthday and by the time the Yard Apes are back in school the Halloween crap is out which means the Christmas ads will be aired before Remembrance Day. 

     Here at the Wayward Inn we don't start putting up the Christmas lights until after Remembrance Day and the tree doesn't go up until the beginning of December with all of it coming down around the first weekend in January. If these actions take place outside of this time frame the Holiday Creep will have invaded our home.  And where would it stop? Leave the tree up so the Easter Bunny can hid his chocolate eggs under it? 

25 Nov 20

04:30 hrs

     It's a month to Christmas and the Left Coast government has imposed more Beer Flu restrictions on the province.  Here at the Wayward we have always taken this shit pretty seriously but as we went about our daily business you could see many who just didn't get it...until they got it.  Some individual who are just tired of the whole mask thing and in fact one grocery store in the southern interior has had to hire a security officer for the first time in nearly half a century. Not for the shoplifters but to ensure the idiots wear their masks when they come into the store.

     I'm sure, Dear Readers, that you are aware that the Tangerine Tyrant is on his way out and a Breath of Fresh Air is on his way in. Of course the outgoing POTUS is beginning a scorched earth policy of destroying anything he can think of to make life even more difficult for the incoming POTUS and for the Hugh-ess citizens who didn't vote for him but more importantly who voted against him. Some cartoonist did a great piece displaying the Tangerine Tyrant as an infant throwing a tantrum, which wasn't too difficult to imagine, and with the president elect putting him over his knee, which would be wishful thinking.

     Did you know that you can actually use liquid dish detergent to was your clothes? It turns out the chemical make up of laundry soap and dish soap are pretty much the same except for the foaming agent in dish detergent, which is probably added to show that there is soap in the water. One teaspoon for a small load, two for a medium and three for a large. 

21:00 hrs

     I just realized that there is another Holiday Creep item that is rearing its ugly head and that is the constant ad nauseam stream of Holiday Baking/Cake Decorating/Cookie Pressing/Gingerbread House building that is sprouting on the food specialty networks. Couple that with the sickenly sappy sweet plotless Hallmark Holiday movies and you have a perfect means of torture those who cannot change the channel. Too much Holiday Magic Too Soon could just about drive a person to drink!

     Speaking of drinking ... I give you

     The Velvet Hammer

     in a large brandy snifter on ice mix

     1 1/2 oz vodka 

     1 1/2 oz Irish cream

     1 oz kahlua 

     3 oz milk

     A dear friend of ours who resides in Hub City has been fighting the Big C for a number of years now and it is doubtful that she will make it beyond The Holidays. Her husband used to work with my Better Half in The Peg. Their kids are living and working in the Hugh-ess so coming up here would mean isolating for two weeks on this side of the border. Due to the enhanced Beer Flu restrictions that the government has put in place it will be very unlikely that we will be able to attend her funeral, when and if it happens, and we would be unable to comfort and assist her surviving spouse until the infection rate drops significantly. 

     I have heard through the grapevine that the new Rabbit Warren being built is supposed to have 175 units. That's a crazy amount. Some of the established neighbours have already checked out the building plans that were filed with the town and they are pretty pissed because the identification does not provide for enough parking. This means any second vehicle would probably have to park elsewhere 

     There's another hutch going up by the Big Giant Box Store and another down near the Queens Cowboys office. Of course they will be four stories and no more since the planners in City Hall are afraid overly tall buildings will blot out the sun and tip over as the earth tilts on its axis. But at least there is some new housing going in. No word on how many will be priced for lower income, ie students looking for their first apartment. My Lobster thinks there will be eight units which isn't even ten percent.

     

Winter is Coming!

16 Nov 20

06:00 hrs

     The weather has certainly turned here on the Left Coast. The temperature has dropped, the winds have picked up and the volume of precipitation has increased ad well. Most of the decidous trees have lost their leaves,  of course the non-native trees that the developer had planted throughout the neighborhood are still clinging to their foliage. This particular species of tree buds out it leaves in late spring and discards them in late fall early winter. It's not a big deal really except that we can get an early snowfall, which is usually wet and heavy and any tree that is still hang in on to its leaves could soon be losing limbs.

18:00 hrs

     We have snow! 

     Wet slushy snow! In fact, by the time morning rolls around it will be plus 9C and the rain will have washed the snow away.

18  Nov 20

14:45 hrs

     As I had predicted by the time my Lobster and I had departed for the Salt Mines the snow was pretty much gone. But this didn't mean the weather was any better. The rain continued to fall and the winds increased. At times it was gusting to 75 knots. It didn't take long before the contractors decided to pull the pin. I was at work for almost three hours. Got paid for four. 

     Last night our Sr. Loin Fruit made a parsnip and mustard soup. The recipe came from the Souplology cookbook we gave him for his birthday. He followed the recipe and it turned out pretty good. I liked it, my Better Half tried it (which saying something) and the Oma-nator wanted to try it but couldn't as she was suspicious of the ingredients - there could have been an onion in it.

     The election in the Hugh-ess carried out two weeks ago today and eventhough the number clearly show that the former VP won both the popular vote and the electoral college the Tangerine Tyrant has refused to concede. Instead Putin's Norte Americano representative is carrying out his own scorched earth policy by firing all dissenters and creating as much chaos for the incoming administration. Never fear, as entertaining as the election was the troubles facing the Tangerine Tyrant after he has been escorted out of the White House will be the icing on the cake. I can't wait.

     I just caught something on the box that Chef Blaine will have to try to duplicate. Banana Habanero sauce. The ultimate heat and sweet. Maybe on chicken wings?

     I am hoping that the weather this weekend is going to be half decent. I have asked my Friend From Over the Hump to accompany me to retrieve the trail cameras we put out a month ago. It will be interesting to see how long the batteries lasted and if anything interesting was caught on the camera. There is also an extra area that I would like to check out. Of course this is all subject to the road conditions. The area is at a higher elevation and if there is too much snow we'll turn around and come home. Wish us luck.

It's Finally OVER!...sort of

07 Nov 20

08:45 hrs 

     Well, it's all over but the crying. Its been four days since the general election in the Hugh-ess and finally, after doing a whole shitload of higher math number crunching one of the major news outlets determined that there is not enough votes for the Tangerine Tyrant to catch and surpass the former VP. As such, the former VP is going to be the 46th President Elect. And now for the crying.... The first person that I saw crying over this was an African American political commentator who was so overjoyed that a rational person of truth and decency has been elected to replace the vindictive poisonous self serving puss bag who has occupied the WH for the past four years. Oh, there will be a large number of blind bars who will believe the false rhetoric pushed forward by the Tangerine Tyrant and his Sycophants. My only concern is that in the days to come these Right Wing Radicals will unload their weapons and leave them at home. For some reason I think the new Prez had better get a handle on things pretty quick because the Tangerine Tyrant's has been pushing the notion that his loss would indicate that the election was rigged and stolen out from under him. For the RW militia groups this is like a call to arms! I do know of some individuals in the Hugh-ess and in the Great White North who, for some unknown reason, fervently suppory the Tangerine Tyrant. From what I have learned the Tangerine Tyrant is currently playing Whackdammit! Go figure.

08 Nov 20

08:00 hrs

     It hasn't even been twenty-four hours and already the new President Elect, who hasn't even been sworn into office, is putting together a group of scientists and medical professionals to formulate a series of directives that will lead the Hugh-ess out of the Beer Flu. Good on him!

13:45 hrs

     If you have check any Hugh-ess national news outlets they have reported that countries around the world have stated that the removal of the Tangerine Tyrant is akin to an awakening from a four year coma and people from India to Europe to Africa to the Great White North are rejoicing over the election results. Only in the Hugh-ess are there individuals who are angry about the loss. Well, that's enough of that shit.

     My Lobster baked some cheddar and jalapeno scones, I baked some peanut butter cereal cookies and together we reboxed the Halloween decorations. Over by our local grocery store there has been a partially developed lot that has sat partially developed for the past eight years. It was supposed to be more housing - patio homes or something  - but finally construction has finally restarted. I believe it will be a multi-storey mixed purpose - commercial and residential  - kind of set up. All I know is things will be a lot busier at the grocery store. 

     The weather here in the Valley has been cold and windy for most of the past week with the wind blowing out of the north making it quite nippy out. Not anywhere near as nippy as it got out on the tarmac in Winterpeg where it often dropped to below -40°C. When I hear people griping about the cold here on the Left Coast I smile and remember how cold I would get loxing a couple of aircraft in the middle of a prairie winter.

     One last note. The host of the Hugh-ess tv game show Jeopardy has passed away from the Big C. He had hosted the show since 1984 and was a originally from the Great White North. 

Spots!

30 Oct 20

06:15 hrs

     Spots! You got any? I've got three.

     My neighbor in The 'Peg would shout this at me over the noise of the lawn mower. It was a means to throw me off my guard. He was just a harmless retired schoolteacher who looked at the world from a different perspective. He passed away from cancer some years after we had moved. Since we got married my Better Half has always cut my hair and she does a great job. After my last hair cut I looked in the mirror and noted a couple of changes. On a close inspection I think that my forehead may be growing longer, which is not too bad since a large number of my peers are now sporting a chrome dome. I'm far from that stage but interestingly enough my shaved pate has revealed a brown spot (an age spot?) near my left temple. Don't worry Dear Readers there's no hair sprouting from it and it is not an irregular shape.

     Are you ready for Halloween? It will certainly be different this year with the Beer Flu still going around. In the Golden Horseshoe the Spooky Celebration has been put on hold this year and kids are being told to stay at home in an effort to prevent further spreading of the infection. Every little bit helps. Over in the Big Pearl the City Council has declared that this will be the final year for the sale of pyrotechnics within the city limits. This may not be such a bad idea because just about every night some local yokels have been launching rockets near the Wayward Inn. They may think it's all fun and games but its scaring the crap out of dogs and old people. 

     If you have been keeping count there is only a few more days left before the citizenry of the Hugh-ess casts their ballots in the biggest decision in their lifetime. So far the voting prior to next Tuesday has already been taking place in earnest with millions of ballots being cast. Although the all polls clearly show that the reign of the Tangerine Tyrant will soon come to an end he has continued his rhetoric on refusing any election results that point to his loss. Unless he wins it will be all Fake News. The biggest issue with this is the fact that the armed faction of his Sycophants is already looking for an excuse to "Secure thie rights and freedoms from those who would curtail them". I've said it before and I'll say it again the outcome of this election could easily result in the Hugh-ess Civil War 2.0 and the Great White North will have a ring side seat from our side of the 49th Parallel. 

13:00 hrs

     We're watching the L'il Shop of Horrors. I'm not one for musicals. At least it's funny.

     I spotted some new digs in The City. Someone developed two lots and placed four duplex townhouses, so eight new residences. They're not finished quite yet and I figure they'll fetch half a mill each.

31 Oct 20

06:15 hrs

     Happy Halloween Kidlettes!

     The Ram has to go in to the shop this morning. The headlight switch is screwing up and if I wasn't paying attention I could set it in the off position and the lights would still be on resulting in a long term battery test.

     Due to the Beer Flu we have no idea how many costumed yard apes we will have begging for candy tonight at the Wayward Inn. The littlest ones normally show up at about 17:00 and by 21:00 we are out of treats. Last year we had about two hundred kids. At least that's what my Better Half says. I don't really keep track of these things because when the candy bowl is empty the lights get turned off.

     I recently purchase a "Lest We Forget" poppy flag from the Legion's online kit shop. There was a neighbour down the street from us who had one and I thought that it would be a gentle reminder to those who drove past the Wayward Inn to maybe reflect on where this country came from and where it is going. Did you know that membership to the Legion is open to everyone and not just ex-service members? Membership to the local Airforce Association is limited to past and current airforce personnel. My Lobster had suggested that we join but after attending several functions as guests I soon learned that the majority of the members were all aircrew. I had been welcomed in as a potential candidate until it was discovered that I had been just a technician. That's it, I'm done!

The Battle is almost over.

22 Oct 20

05:00 hrs

     A huge Happy Birthday to my L'il Sis. She was born on our Grandpa's birthday. I won't tell you how old she is but i will tell you that she's two years younger than me and according to the Couch Monkeys I'm old. You figure it out. She's still living in Cowtown, where I heard they have snow but that's okay because she says it hides the dirt.

     The Beer Flu is still cycling through the Great White North. In many provinces the number of infections has risen daily and much more so in those provinces that tried to open their economies too quickly or allowed a greater number of people to gather together and most certainly in places where morons refused to wear masks and practice social distancing. But when you look at the numbers we are no where near the insanity south of the 49th Parallel. As of this writing we have had 206,000 cases and 9,829 deaths and in the Hugh-ess they have had 8,338,413 cases and 222,220 deaths. The numbers are truly staggering. The Hugh-ess has ten times our population but 40x the number of infections and 22x the number of deaths. What is even more staggering is that this First World country which claims to have the best medical system in the world has roughly 1/5 of the global infections and deaths.

     For your entertainment this evening I offer you the final presidential debate between the Tangerine Tyrant and an Olde Boot. I'm pretty sure that this one won't be such the shit show the first one was because the moderator has a mute button to squelch out anyone who doesn't have the common decency to keep his gums from flapping when it's not his turn to talk, Mr. President. I may not get to watch it live but I'm recording it just for a giggle.

     The other day my friend The Big Swede was out for a drive in The Weeds with his friends The Kirks. They were enjoying all the Nature Porn some 12 klicks off pavement when they spotted a domestic house cat. There was no good reason for Miss Kitty being this far from civilization so they rescued and routed her to the nearest SPCA. 

23 Oct 20

20:00 hrs

     The week is done and tomorrow is the grand adventure. When we're out driving around the Oma-nator will spot some house that may be 40 yards off the highway surrounded by trees. Inevitably her comment is "How can someone live all the way out in the bush like that!" For Heaven's sake you could throw a beer bottle from the front porch and hit the road of it wasn't for the trees! So tomorrow my Friend from over The Hump and his Lobster are going Out in the Weeds with me, my Better Half and with the Oma-nator riding shotgun. We're heading out to the expedition area to set up three trail cameras. I'll leave them for a month to take one photo every 30 seconds during daylight hours. They'll be placed on the perimeter of a big field so if something big, upright  and hairy amble across the field of view we'll see it.