The Things you see!

23 Jan 21

17:45 hrs

     I had to make a trek to WallyWorld to pick up some items. I've been a bit under the weather lately. Chilled to the bones two days in a row. Chilled so bad that I dragged out my woolen campfire blanket - the one covered in badges - which my Better Half says is as itchy as a camel's scrotum (I'll never ask how she knows that). Anyways, my Lobster had ordered items for pickup as there has been three cases of the Beer Flu reported at WallyWorld and one a Timmies, which one I don't know. I also don't know if it was a customer or a staffer. Since neither places carry out contact tracing lists for customers I'm going with staffers. 

     While waiting for our stuff I saw this lady drag her shopping cart full of stuff out and cram it into her north foreign (Foreign manufacturers who have plants in North America) hatchback and then rolls her cart into the next parking spot rather than push it to the shopping cart corral that is only five parking spots away. Can you say Lazy Bitch?

     I'm already chomping - nee dreaming - about getting Out in the Weeds. K & K run their trail cameras all year and have some fine wildlife photos of elk, cougar and bear. A bear even bit through one of their cameras. That's why mine are in lock boxes and bolted to the trees. The other thing I am wanting to do , and I'm sure I've written this already, is to spend a couple of weeks basking on a sun soaked beach with my Better Half. Of course, we will have to wait until the Beer Flu is under control. I'm thinking next year as this year will be the year when the vaccinations will take place and the world will see how effective it is.

     Our Jr. Loin Fruit has gone to Capital City for the weekend. He's been so wrapped up doing his schooling through Distance Education that he needed to take a break. With masks and plenty of caution he headed south. He'll be back at the end of the weekend. 

     Sunday will be my mom's birthday. We all wish her well.

     I spotted another new apartment building going up in the Valley. Its across the river from us next to the government office. I have no idea where the residents are going to park and there is another building being built just down the road towards the bridge. At this point I have no idea what function will be but what I can say is with three or four new residential buildings all going up in close proximity will have an impact on the traffic in the Valley. If the town fathers believe that the residents will park their vehicles and rely on the horse and buggy mass transit system that is routed through the Valley. 

     My Lobster and I finished watching the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel on Amazon tv. A great series, three seasons worth and we are hoping there will be more. I just finished watching most of a docu-series called Spycraft on Netflix. Some pretty cool stuff from the early days and the now. I would recommend it. 

     We were supposed to get some snow here in the Valley this weekend. Right now its 3°C and raining but the forecast is for snow to start in the next hour or so. If we do get snow in any substantial amount it would be best to stay off the Valley roads as the vast majority of the driving public do not have winter tires and have no clue on how to drive in true winter conditions. 

     If you thought that the Tangerine  Tyrant was gone from the public eye you are delusional. The Hugh-ess Speaker will be passing the Article of Impeachment - an Act of Incitement of Insurrection - on to the Senate. Supposedly, the Senate trial will take place in February. The Tangerine Tyrant is acting pretty nonchalant about the whole thing. Maybe he thinks that there are a bunch of senators still is his pocket and he won't be convicted. Maybe so but as I've said before the real trials will be with the Southern District of New York. 

Stay tuned.

     One last thing. The Onion phoned us from thirteen and a half time zones away just to say hi. She's taking courses through distance ed from the college in the Valley. She still plans on coming back to Canada to finish her studies but needs a student visa, which hasn't arrived yet. I'm deeply concerned that even if the visa arrives the Beer Flu will prevent her from coming to the Great White North. 

     

ONE MORE DAY!

19 Jan 21

05:30 hrs

     Yes Dear Kidlettes, there is but thirty hours or less to the end of the Tangerine Tyrant's reign and it will be a wild ride. Not only has he never admitted that he lost the election - he has stated that his opponent will be installed as the new POTUS - on the other hand he continues to state that the general election was stolen from him. To really understand this outgoing loon you must read the book written by his niece. Don't bother purchasing it as I'm sure your local library has a copy. It's an eye opener and by the end of it you'll be saying "So, that's why he's such an asshole !" 

     With the new POTUS being installed tomorrow the real danger is there may be subversives within the 25K troops.

20 Jan 21

05:00 hrs

     I'm getting ready for work. I made my lunch last night and prepped my coffees  - a drip pot and a pot of roof tar. But right now I am watching the departure of the Tangerine Tyrant, his European Tavern Lizard and their spawn. I am really really really hoping that he refuses to leave and the Armed Crayon Munchers have to go in and pry his fingers off of the Resolute Desk and drag his ass out by the heels.

     My friend Derek shared this with me and I just have to re post it with you as it is so well written.

Ode to a Trumpite.

" ARTICLE FROM THE U.K. GUARDIAN........This says it all & then some....

 

By Grumpy Geezer 

 

No grace, no dignity, no humility, no magnanimity, no class, no morals, no empathy, no soul.

 

He has no friends, not even a dog.

 

His wife can’t bear his touch, his daughter can’t avoid it.

 

Devoid of humour he doesn’t make jokes, he doesn’t laugh. Not ever. An occasional dismal rictus, a necrotic gash in his ochre-lacquered face-bladder signifies nothing more than his satisfaction in transacting another con.

 

He’s a loathsome coagulation of every human failing with no compensating virtues.

 

A craven coward.

 

A sociopath.

 

A serial rapist.

 

A racist.

 

A quisling.

 

An opportunistic grifter.

 

An inveterate cheat.

 

A deceitful toad.

 

A chronic liar.

 

A shameless braggart.

 

An ignoramus who lacks curiosity. He doesn’t read, he doesn’t care.

 

Trump is a ridiculous, combed-over cartoon villain, a deranged clown with a face sprayed the colour of hang-over piss and toilet paper stuck to his shoe whose wits are defeated by an open umbrella. Rake the forests, nuke the hurricanes, inject the bleach, waterbomb Notre Dame cathedral, trade Greenland for Puerto Rico. Trump’s pompous idiocies are exceeded only by his appalling ignorance.

 

Crediting the British with the foresight to build airstrips in the war of independence 110 years before the Wright Brothers first took flight, revealing the hitherto unknown Himalayan countries of Nipple and Button, accusing Baltic leaders of starting Balkans wars! This clueless buffoon brags that he was able to keep the crayon inside the lines on his dementia test. Accusing Trump of a lack of self-awareness is like accusing Myra Hindley of poor child care standards.

 

The Grand Fubar of dysfunction, the maestro of petty vindictiveness, of malice and resentful belligerence is testing coup options yet America flatters itself as being “the world’s greatest democracy” much to the bemusement of observers here in Oz. It’s beyond our imagining that we’d ever have a bloated braggart, a liar, a hypocrite, a lazy shirker, a crony-stacking blame shifter at the helm filtering Murdoch’s kidney stones through his teeth while monetising a pandemic for the benefit of rich mates. Oh… what?

 

Trump, if he’d had the imagination, would’ve considered handing out small-pox infected blankets in Democrat-leaning districts but it’s too late now. A majority of Americans have said enough is enough. After 4 years of what-the-fuck-has-he-done-now, 46,123 tweets and 20,000 documented lies while in office to 9th July 2020 he’s been reduced to pathetic whimperings from his puckered-sphincter pout, playing his invisible accordion to an audience of gormless dullards, fellow hucksters and his retinue of fawning toadies, thralls, invertebrate lickspittles and hangers-on whose fealty is demanded but never reciprocated and who had neither the self-respect nor the courage to call out the capture of the US by an amoral, moronic lunatic.

 

We cannot know what tipped the scales against Trump.

 

No lie has been too outrageous, bragging about sexual assault was just locker-room talk, five bankruptcies are apparently indicative of an astute businessman, stealing from a children’s cancer charity is fake news. Being laughed at by foreign leaders – meh, because y’all – “Merica!” Throwing meat to Boogaloos, Proud Boys, Klansmen and Call Of Duty cos-players was addressing his base. Perhaps it was inciting violence from uniformed goon squads sooled onto lawful BLM protesters that crossed the line. Perhaps it was the denigration of war dead and veterans as losers and suckers by a draft-dodging, yellow, mangy dog that did it.

 

More likely it was 11 million Covid-infected Americans, a quarter of a million who died while the orange blobulator ignored it, denied it, played it down, finger-pointed and then looked for ways to exploit it for his own advantage.

 

There is no excusing Trump, there is no sympathy that should be wasted on this pathetic parasite. History should not record him as some sort of tragic King Lear but as an effluvium, a discharge from the bowels of a diseased system; a funk that has now been sharted.

 

He had always exhibited the narcissistic and antisocial personality disorders of a lack of empathy, grandiosity, lying and deceit, indifference to conventional laws or rules or morality that characterise a despot. But he possessed none of the cunning, artifice, commitment to a cause beyond himself, the political skills of a Stalin or the oratory of a Mussolini. He had no ambition beyond the grift and the trappings – palaces awash with potentate kitsch, a yearning for military parades, a pneumatic wife and his narcissistic cult of personality. He has no talent beyond the con, he’s a schmuck with the dumb luck to be born into wealth that mestasised B-grade celebrity into A-grade larceny.

 

Fittingly, he’s spending his last days shaping his own humiliation. It’s an Armando Iannucci script playing out in real life. If Trump was to be found drooling in a pool of his own piss ala Stalin or dragged Sadam-like from his bolt-hole it would be the most metaphorically noteworthy achievement of his time in office.

 

Gone too will be his dreadful spawn. Ivanka’s in-it-up-to-her-nose-job reputation may limit her future career prospects to hand-job supervisor at a New York sperm bank while Uday and Qusay* could end up in Ryker’s Island trading sexual favours for lines.

 

Jared Kushner may get a gig at a Madame Tussaud exhibit of automatronic rent boys. Melania, no doubt, would enjoy the embrace of a Justin Trudeau look-alike cabana boy, chuckling at the thought that Trump has only Rudi Guiliani left to go through the pre-nup looking for loopholes.

 

The end of America’s nightmare is near. However it plays out over the next day. Trump is finished.

 

The irrelevant man.

 

A loser.

 

*Nod to Marina Hyde in the UK Guardian

Wow! What a night!

10 Jan 21

05:45 hrs

     I'm pretty sure that you have seen the insanity that took place in the Hugh-ess capital on Wednesday with the Tangerine Tyrant's Sycophant Army stormed the capital building. It was later learned that pipe bombs and molotov cocktail bombs filled with a napalm type liquid had been brought to the action. After storming the castle, in what they felt was their god-given taxpayer right despite the fact that public entry into the capital building is illegal, the mob fled back to whence the came. The FBI has now begun to arrest these shitheads thanks in part to facial recognition software and Facebook, the fact that the average mob members IQ is lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rut meant that these idiots thought it would be cool to digitally show their idiot friends the stupid things they did. Take note that if you are going to riot in the Capital do not where your corporate security pass or you will be fired .. and he was. A CEO was seen in attendance and his company has put him on waivers. And the blame for what happened has fallen squarely on the shoulders of the Tangerine Tyrant. The legislators are going after him with another motion for impeachment for "incitement of insurrection". Is there time in the next two weeks to carry out an impeachment trial? Doubtful. Would the Orange Shitgibbon resign? Not on your your life. Everyone knows that he should be punished for his actions but will he? Again, doubtful because his Senatoral Sycophants would have to grow a spine. Take note that the inauguration is on the 20th of January and the Tangerine Tyrant,  who no longer has access to social media, will go off the rails even more and the Sycophant Army has not been beaten. 

     On a more humourous note I spotted a program on Netflix that is right up my alley. The History of  Swear Words hosted by Nichlas Cage. Each episode is only twenty minutes long and they explore some of your all time faves. Stubbed you toe at night? Yeah, that one! The boss dumped some extra work on you? That one, too! But don't forget, and I have to admit that this program - at least what I've seen of it - DID NOT give credence or acknowledge the groundwork put down by George Carlin who, in 1972, recorded the Seven Dirty Words -  words that could never, at that time, be said on television. Those words were - shit, piss, fuck, c**t, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits. I recently learned that ten years earlier Carlin was with Lenny Bruce when he was arrwted in The Windy City for saying just two of those words on stage in a night club.

21:30 hrs

     Back in the Hugh-ess, the Speaker of the House has stated that if the VP won't seek the 25th Constitutional Amendment to remove the Tangerine Tyrant then she will pursue an impeachment. Rumoir has it that the shit will hit the fan again. Not only in the Hugh-ess Capital but in all of the state capitals. 

     Locally, the new rabbit hutch in our neighborhood is still just a big mud hole but pretty soon the footings will he poured. I haven't seen the artist's conception yet but there are already numerous examples of this kind of building in the Valley already. There is another new project going up just past the hospital on Veterans Way. No idea what the heck that one is. It's a skinny piece of land so I'm figuring commercial. If I haven't mentioned it there is a four story apartment block going up next to the old hotel - the one that was converted into low rent housing years ago. The land must have been super cheap for someone to plant the project there. Back in the day the hotel was pretty nice and the adjoining nightclub was always hopping. Now the bar was cut in half to add a liquor store and when the hotel was sold the new owner figured he could make more money by turning the place into low rent apartments. Nice idea but the place soon turned into the biggest societal blackhole in the Valley. I'm pretty sure that over the years the title has changed hands numerous times and I doubt if the current owners have ever been on the property. If they ever did they might clean it up.

     Tomorrow will mark the fifth anniversary of the passing of my Better Half's father. I'm sure it will be rough on the Oma-nator. Their church, back in the Nation's Capital, will be having a special mass for him on the 17th of this month.

Happy New Year!

01 Jan 21

18:00 hrs

     Happy New Year Dear Readers! And let's all say a silent or maybe not so silent prayer, wish, or demand that 2021 will be better than what we all went through on a global scale.

     We read in the Rock's Cage Liner, we recieve a copy daily for the Oma-nator, that there was a massive fire in a four floor rabbit hutch in a city south of Hub City. The fire was in a fourth floor corner unit and it was so intense that sone residents were leaping out of windows. When I saw the pictures on the news l thought it might be a friend of my Better Half. We called her and it turned out to be the building next to hers. Too close.

     One of the gifts i recieved was a dvd of Roger Waters Us+Them concert. It was recorded three or four years ago in Amsterdam. Seventy thousand people attended that one concert. Over two million attended the tour. My youngest Loin Fruit and I watched it yesterday. Great music.

02 Jan 2021

11:00 hrs

     Today is my Brother from Another Mother's birthday. Over breakfast I said to the Oma-nator that it was my brother's birthday. She replied, "I thought you didn't have a brother?" To which I said, "I don't." Well, that just confused the hell out of her. I then had to explain that this Brother was one of many that I had served with and as Service Brother there is a special bond that binds us all. I don't think she understood what I was trying to tell her but that's okay. I didn't think she would have understood. 

04 Jan 21

06:45 hrs

     Well Dear Readers,  yesterday the Tangerine Tyrant stepped into a shit pile once again by demanding that a state official "find votes" that would overturn the election outcome. That particular state has counted, recounted and audited the results which clearly and repeatedly show that the POTUS lost the election. And even if the results were overturned in this state it wouldn't give him enough electoral college votes to win so does this mean he is pressuring the other swing states to change their results as well?  I can't wait for the 20th and this circus will be over. Then the real show, the Tangerine Tyrant's court cases, will start and they WILL BE entertaining for sure.

     The Valley has had rain for pretty much two weeks straight and the forecast is calling for another 50 to 75 mm in just one day. The rivers are swollen and in some places flooding, some local parks are now lakes. But this is nothing compared to northern Samurai which has received about 245 cm of ocean effect snow in the past three days.

So, there you are...

23 Dec 2020

08:30 hrs

     Good morning Dear Readers! As you know I'm not a person who gives two shits about stars, starlets, media personalities, professional sports stars, politicians and the like especially when they are fawned upon and elevated on a pedestal because of their position. More like they should be hoisted on their own petard if you ask me. What does interest me is the connection between people, the back story as it were. And sometimes this back story may be insignificant but it is interesting nonetheless. 

      Seven years ago this Christmas season I was driving back to the Wayward Inn after shopping downtown. It was around noon and I was listening to the local FM station. The radio host was a bit of a card, as some of them could be. He said that after the break he would be speaking to the Premier (on air) and was going to ask her about her plans for the Holidays. Sounds innocent enough. Now, if you are not from the Left Coast you wouldn't know who the Premier was at that time. She was a single mom whose political stripe was in the centre of the spectrum and she was considered by many to be quite attractive despite some of her political decisions. 

     So, the DJ comes back on after the break. He plays a couple of songs and then announces that he has the Premiere on the line. He asks her if she has any holiday wishes that she would like to pass along and she does. Straight up, he asks if she would answer a few questions from some local listeners and she says she would be pleased to do so. 

     From Bill in the Valley, "What will your Christmas holidays will entail?" And she replied in general terms about how she and her son will spend their time.

     Next from Debbie in the Wild Wild West, "Is there going to be additional funding in next years budget to assist the local Residentially Challenged Persons?" And, Madame Premier jumped on this softball question like a fat kid on a Smartie saying that she was certainly looking forward to working with the Loyal Opposition to find such funds even if it means to curtail some other project but in the near future....blah, blah, blah.

     And lastly, from John out in Redneck Holler, "How does it feel to be considered to be a MILF?" To which there was a short pause before she laughingly said "Well I'd rather be a MILF than a cougar!"

     Wow! I almost ditched the truck when I heard that over the radio. As far as I knew this wasn't pre-recorded and had gone out live. Supposedly, the questions had been sent in and the DJ had just picked three at random. I thought the whole thing was funny as hell. Unfortunately,  the station manager, and quite possibly the owners of a very huge network did not. Especially, when the very derogatory term of MILF was spoken over the airwaves. The very next day there was an announcement from the station that DJ had been removed from the lineup, that the entire line of questions was made up by him, that he has apologized to the listeners and to the Premier. 

      And with that the DJ disappeared. He was no longer at this station and I'm sure that was truly sorry for his little stunt. On her part the Premiere was not happy that she was scammed but was actually tickled that she was considered to be a MILF. Okay, then.

     So here I am, seven years after this incident, listening to a rock radio station from the big city on the mainland and this DJ's voice and handle - many radio personalities do not use their real name on air - sounds distantly familiar. I do a little bit of research and sure enough I was correct. The DJ known as Drex on 96.9 Jack FM Vancouver is the same guy who was working at the local Corus Network station. According to the bio after his big faux pas the network moved him to another network station - the Corus entertainment network has 39 stations in eight of the top ten markets - and held him in late night purgatory until now. What choice did he have? Stay with this network and accept his punishment or look for work outside his chosen field because nobody else in the industry was going to touch him with a ten foot pole.

     Well Kidlettes,  I would, on behalf of all of us at the Wayward Inn, like to will wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Please be safe. Remember that the Beer Flu is real, even in the Redneck province next door,  so pay attention to the guidelines and do your part. Eventually,  we as a nation will get through this and if you have any doubts about it just take a look at the Hugh-ess. They are losing over 3,300 people per day. That's the same as one 9/11 tragedy ever 24 hours. And it could have been curtailed if only they had the political leadership and honesty right from the start!

Switching Channels

15 Dec 20

17:30 hrs

     Hello Dear Readers,  

     Today is the Sage's 58th Anniversary.           So, here's to them! Congrats. On another note...

     I don't know if you put much stock in your local radio station especially with the advent of all the radio stations being available on your cable subscriber and an app for your phone. Here in the Valley we have two radio stations plus a repeater up on the mountain that relays the national station. The national station is great for the news (and some other programming) and in my opinion only one of the two local stations is worth tuning into. This particular station has flipped its call sign several times in the last dozen years while the other simply plods along. Now, if your vehicle has a half decent antenna you can pull in stations from River City, Hub City and The Pearl of the Left Coast. And these are the ones I can get from here in the Valley with the Ram. My Better Half's car, mmmm not so much. Maybe because its lower to the ground it doesn't catch all that many boomatrons. 

     Like anyone who is my age I have my favourite stations programmed on my vehicle's radio. Buttons one through six. (Take note that I will be referring to the music that I like and so please do not be offended if it is not your kind of music.) In fact, this has nothing really to do with music. It has more to do with what is annoying and how to easily remove the annoyance. So, buttons one through six. Button one is set for the national channel for news at the top of the hour. Button two is for the better of the two (in my opinion) local stations - the one with a dominant presence, a healthy drive crew and a good mix of music. Buttons three through six are similar to Button two but are set for other reception areas that are increasingly farther away from the Valley. This gives me the ability to readily change stations and still listen to what I like while cutting out what i don't like. I, like everyone of you my Dear Readers, enjoy some musical groups and loathe others. Their names are not important but what is important is the flexibility that we, as operators, to remove the annoyance that can impede the pleasure of commanding our motor vehicles. This is the truth, is it not? Imagine you are driving down the highway humming along to one of your faves blaring out of the speakers when the next song is from a band whose rhythm method sends your heart into an immediaye arrhythmia. The specific part could be the lead singers voice, the twanging of the guitar, the fact that it is a shitty cover of an original or the beat has been stolen and recorded. It could be the entire genre or the fact that the artist/band/group does not actually play any actual instruments - heat box techno-crap really turns me off. What ever the causation it's great to know that with the simple push of a button you can easily continue to listen to what pleases you.

     

Are they gone?

09 Dec 20

20:45 hrs

     We've sent ours out have you?

     Christmas cards. Have you sent yours out? Do you send any out? I remember when just after I got hitched to my Better Half we were sending out eighty or ninety cards. As time went on we both realized that we had lost contact with some individuals and so the list was shortened. It leveled off at about sixty cards for a dozen years or so but in the past three years it has dropped to about thirty cards as people have known have passed away. Another set of people were dropped of the card list when we noticed that we had sent cards to them and had no returns in the past couple of years. Gone!

      For four years I had given my co-worker a card and a pony sized bottle of some traditional Christmas coffee fixings. Not even a card with a coffee house gift card in return. He's off the list, too.

12 Dec 20

07:45 hrs

     We went out looking at lights last night. A gentle drive through some of the more festive neighborhoods. There is a local Facebook page that identifies where the best lit streets are. I think I the next time we go out to one of these places I will stop and take some pictures to show you what they are like. Some of them are nearing Griswold in their brilliance.

     Last week we were on a mission of mercy to River City.  One of our friends was confined to her workplace due to the Beer Flu. We drove up and took her a care package. On the way up I noticed that the work on roadway in front of where my Lobster's Travelling Relatives used to live is almost completed. The work includes widening the road bed, putting in safe crossings for pedestrians and more importantly a decorative divided roadway.. this work had started about five klicks back. Now it's up to the Big Boulder. There are more giant rabbit hutches going in too. I would almost hazard a guess that River City is growing faster than the Valley. 

13:00 hrs

     Chef Blaine has tried his hand at baking some homemade butter tarts. The pastry turned out fine as did the batter. But there was more tarts than batter so he made some in lieu batter and spooned it on top of some of the shallow tarts. Not smart. I think it may have burned. At any rate, it will be a bitch to clean off. For supper he has some strip loin steaks marinating in a Korean type sauce. Except for the Oma-nators steak. It is seasoned with a little pepper, paprika and cumin. Sous Irene is making potatoes au gratin. Or, as the majority of the Great White North calls it: scalloped potatoes. Chef Blaine will make a spiralized butternut squash as well. Loin Fruit Number Two will have to look for his own protein source.

     I saw in one of the scandal rags that the sniper troops of the Great White North are going to get some new rifles. Designated the C20 and chambered for 7.62 mm some 280 rifles (and spare parts) for 8 million and change. It works out to about 31K per rifle, which is insane. Of course the Feds had to pay for the research and development.

17:00 hrs

     The Tangerine Tyrant has been voted out. The Electoral College votes on Monday to confirm what everyone already knows, in that the Orange Shit Gibbon lost big time and yet he continues spend millions of dollars pursuing these insane lawsuits in some attempt to have the legal voting results overturned. In the meantime the number of people out of work in the Hugh-ess due to the Beer Flu is increasing daily to the point that food banks around their country are seeing a 10x or 20x increase. Just think about that as Christmas approaches.

     The nights are still getting longer. The 21st of the month mark's the shortest day and longest night. Occasionally on the Left Coast we have some days that are sunny enough to recharge the solar lights strung on the gazebo over the Flame Pit. When we do have a day clear of heavy clouds we can see the accumulation of snow on the Beauforts. It looks great on the mountains but not on the Valley floor.