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Friday, 12 February 2021

Gifts and Trouble

12 Feb 21

14:30 hrs


     Yesterday was my Lobster's Birthday! and as Chef Blaine was working it was decided by the Queen For a Day that we would simply order some growlies for pick up. Not a bad idea really as we very rarely - as in maybe four or five times a month - have something from a restaurant. I think the Couch Monkeys have restaurant food more than we do! Last night it was Indian food from a local place. OUTSTANDING! Burned a hole in my colon! All of us really enjoyed it. Even the Oma-nator enjoyed her meal - which consisted of something other than Indian food. Gifts were given. Trouble was played. And an extremely rich chocolate cake from the Valley's Chocolatier was carved into. All was great.


     I have to give you a bit of an update. You remember from a previous blog that our friend in Hub City who had suddenly passed away and that his Lobster had been bravely fighting the Big C for the past three years. Now, she has passed away, Her son had arrived from the Lone Star State in Hub City three or four days prior to her passing. From what we were told she was in Hospice care so I'm sure that she was well cared for. We had no contact from the son - he wouldn't know us anyways. My Lobster had recieved an email from the deceased's sister. It wasn't personally addressed to us but was more of a notice that was pre-arranged to be sent out to all of their friends and relatives after she was gone. Their house will probably be sold in the coming months and the contents put into storage. As far as I know their remains - they were both cremated - were taken back to the Hugh-Ess as both of their Yard Apes live in the same City and State. 


     Driving through town I spotted another long ignored chunk of land that has finally been sold off. It's a large lot so I can imagine the developer will squeeze in four or six three storey homes into the property. More and more of the larger lots in the Valley, especially the ones with older houses on them are being bought, the house dozed and the lot carved up to maximize the profit margins. I'm pretty sure that this will likely happen with our Elderly Royal Subject when she passes. Her residence hasn't been updated it at least fifty years and the reno cost would probably be cost more than the value of the house. 


     Read any good books lately? I'm working on another Clancy. This one was written by one of the associate writers. He's actually the better of the two. Clancy had actually passed away a number of years ago and in fact I think that he was ill fro a time and it was during this illness that he trialed a couple of associate authors. Like I said one isn't too bad. But even he is not as good as Clancy because if you know the original authors works you will pick up subtle mistakes that the Kidlettes make in writing about the main characters. My Sr. Loin Fruit had given me this book as a gift. Once I am done reading it I will send it to the Bookhouse so someone else may enjoy it.


     The weather here has turned cold. About -5C, which for the Valley is like the South Pole. I know that the Prairie Boys are all laughing at us but in a couple of weeks I'll be looking forward to fishing and I don't mean through a hole on the ice.

Sunday, 7 February 2021

A Wayward Inn Update

07 Feb 21
08:30 hrs

     I must apologize to you Dear Readers for my neglect at writing this ongoing tome. Its not that I have forgotten that you are there but I have forgotten that you are there. It's my fault and if I don't keep up my end please send me a message to prod me into action. Thanks in advance.

     First, it is official. My Better Half's Travelling Relatives have returned to the Golden Horseshoe. They have purchased a new residence near their Kidlettes. No word on whether their place in Capital City has been cleared out and sold as of yet. We didn't get to see them all that often but most certainly enjoyed their company and the conversation when we did.

     Our Senior Couch Monkey is looking to leave the nest but the fees charged for any apartment in the Valley is still out of his reach. He's a hard worker but the combination of hours worked and his current salary is not enough to get him his own place. We both told him that it will work out eventually. He may have to take on a roomie but the individual must be solvent as well. One thing I must say is that he is doing well in all concerns and I'm very proud of him.

     The Oma-nator has not been doing so well. She's moving a little slower these days. She hasn't had a cold or anything so we are just taking things one day at a time. 

     My Better Half is shopping for a new set of wheels. We had gone up to River City for a test drive and we checked out some Smile Cars here but she didn't like them. We took two for a test drive yesterday and I think she has settled on a hybrid. I preferred the other one but it's not my set of wheels. I'm sure she'll be posting photos next week. As for the old car, she is selling it to the Jr. Couch Monkey for a nominal fee. He'll insure it under his name and will be responsible for maintenance and repairs. Due to the Beer Flu he still has to take his final road test.


16:30 hrs

     Chef Blaine has made a batch of Moose Balls. Peanut butter, honey, oatmeal, dried fruit and nuts. There is no extra sugar added but it packs a punch. I think next time I'll get him to add some extra fine ground espresso to the batter. 

     Next week is the Senate Impeachment Trial of the Tangerine Tyrant. My Lobster doesn't believe the Senate will vote to convict. Constitutionally, the trial phase is to remove a sitting POTUS and he's no longer sitting so is it a moot point? The House of Reps, in their Articles  of Impeachment, included the 14th Amendment that would allow the government to ban the Tangerine Tyrant from ever running for any office position again. Deep down I think this is the Dems primary objective - to punish the Orange Shit Gibbon for the four years of hell he forced upon the Hugh-ess. If the Senate is going to convict him there will need to be sixty-seven senators to vote in favour. Right now there are fifty Dems and maybe ten Rebs. If they want to convict him they'll have to spell out their evidence using witnesses who believe the Trumpster told them to storm the Capital. Charts and videos won't cut it. At any rate...I'll get the popcorn.

     We've had a couple of nippy mornings. Nothing like the 'Peg or up in D. Creek where the temps have dropped to the mid minus thirties. Oh, and our daffodils are up four inches.

Sunday, 31 January 2021

They're gonna lose their shit!

30 Jan 21
08:00 hrs

     With the new administration in the Hugh-ess science and common sense (and common decency) now have the backing of the POTUS as opposed to The Other Guy whose understanding of science meant you should inject household cleaners into your body. That being said the CDC has stated that as of this Monday masks will be required by all operators and users of all mass transit, public transit, ride sharing services and those moving in about in public places to wear masks. Period!

     Now, you just know that all those right wingers who stand on the Hugh-ess Constitution (and Bill of Rights) will say that the feds are intruding on their FREEDOMS but what has to happen is all of the transit operators - whatever it may be - simply refuse any passengers on board without a mask. 

     "Uh, do you want to ride the bus? Then, put on your mask! No mask! No Uber!"

     My Better Half and I dragged the Oma-nator up to River City for a bubble tea. We were also looking at a new set of wheels, for her not for me. She had looked at an import here in the Valleyvbut didn't like it and decided to take a ride in one of Mr. Yamamoto's cars with yours truly at the wheel, which is kinda weird that she wanted me to test drive a vehicle for her. Oh well...off we go. Nice wheels. Losts of gadgets and safety devices. The cockpit was like a fighter aircraft and it handled like one too.

     Speaking of vehicles. My order for new saddle blanket seat covers for the Ram arrived at the house the other day. I have yet to install them, which I figure I'll have time to do when I'm at work and I'm bored and if it's not raining. I also bought a ladder that attaches to the tail gate so I can get in and out of the box without killing my knees. Gordo from work said he would give me a hand mounting it on. I have my new light switches, lights and all the stuff needed to have the Ram light up the world. My Friend from Over the Hump said we could do the work at his place so I'm waiting for when the weather is pleasant enough for me to lay on my back for a couple of hours at a time. I am also going to order a pair of tail light guards. These are like a metal cage that proects the the tail light by wrapping around the assembly and the look cool too. I saw a set for a Jeep that had a cut out of a Squatch. Way cool. Unfortunately,  I cannot get them for the Ram.


30 Jan 21
10:30 hrs

     There has been enty of rain here in the Valley and only enough snow to make one snow angel for my Lobster. That doesn't mean there isn't snow up on the Beauforts. On the contrary, the snow pack is pushing 110% of normal which is good for the summer.

     Did you know that if you were a weekly parishioner at a Catholic church and every week for thirty plus years you tossed five or ten bucks in the collection plate and after you passed away your relatives asked for a Mass to be held in your name you would have to pay the church to do it? Same thing with granting an annulment. Ya can't get a divorce but if you grease their palms they'll dissolve the marriage before God! Hypocrites!

22:00 hrs

     It would appear that my tailgate ladder has arrived. Now, I'll just have to tee up a time with Gordo.

     On a final note, if you thought the shit with the Tangerine Tyrant is over you are delusional. The upcoming impeachment trial starts in about seven days and his first group of lawyers - five of them - all bailed out because he - the Orange Shit Gibbon - wants to argue the point that the election was stolen from him. 

     H'mmm, the problem with that line of defence is everyone knows, and I do mean everyone, that there was no widespread conspiracy fraud during the election. Sixty lawsuits brought forward on behalf of the Tangerine Tyrant were tossed. Now, if any lawyer presents what is known to be a lie before the Senate they can be disbarred. As of this writing two more idiots have sign up to defend him. Get your popcorn. 

Sunday, 24 January 2021

The Things you see!

23 Jan 21
17:45 hrs

     I had to make a trek to WallyWorld to pick up some items. I've been a bit under the weather lately. Chilled to the bones two days in a row. Chilled so bad that I dragged out my woolen campfire blanket - the one covered in badges - which my Better Half says is as itchy as a camel's scrotum (I'll never ask how she knows that). Anyways, my Lobster had ordered items for pickup as there has been three cases of the Beer Flu reported at WallyWorld and one a Timmies, which one I don't know. I also don't know if it was a customer or a staffer. Since neither places carry out contact tracing lists for customers I'm going with staffers. 

     While waiting for our stuff I saw this lady drag her shopping cart full of stuff out and cram it into her north foreign (Foreign manufacturers who have plants in North America) hatchback and then rolls her cart into the next parking spot rather than push it to the shopping cart corral that is only five parking spots away. Can you say Lazy Bitch?

     I'm already chomping - nee dreaming - about getting Out in the Weeds. K & K run their trail cameras all year and have some fine wildlife photos of elk, cougar and bear. A bear even bit through one of their cameras. That's why mine are in lock boxes and bolted to the trees. The other thing I am wanting to do , and I'm sure I've written this already, is to spend a couple of weeks basking on a sun soaked beach with my Better Half. Of course, we will have to wait until the Beer Flu is under control. I'm thinking next year as this year will be the year when the vaccinations will take place and the world will see how effective it is.

     Our Jr. Loin Fruit has gone to Capital City for the weekend. He's been so wrapped up doing his schooling through Distance Education that he needed to take a break. With masks and plenty of caution he headed south. He'll be back at the end of the weekend. 

     Sunday will be my mom's birthday. We all wish her well.

     I spotted another new apartment building going up in the Valley. Its across the river from us next to the government office. I have no idea where the residents are going to park and there is another building being built just down the road towards the bridge. At this point I have no idea what function will be but what I can say is with three or four new residential buildings all going up in close proximity will have an impact on the traffic in the Valley. If the town fathers believe that the residents will park their vehicles and rely on the horse and buggy mass transit system that is routed through the Valley. 

     My Lobster and I finished watching the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel on Amazon tv. A great series, three seasons worth and we are hoping there will be more. I just finished watching most of a docu-series called Spycraft on Netflix. Some pretty cool stuff from the early days and the now. I would recommend it. 

     We were supposed to get some snow here in the Valley this weekend. Right now its 3°C and raining but the forecast is for snow to start in the next hour or so. If we do get snow in any substantial amount it would be best to stay off the Valley roads as the vast majority of the driving public do not have winter tires and have no clue on how to drive in true winter conditions. 

     If you thought that the Tangerine  Tyrant was gone from the public eye you are delusional. The Hugh-ess Speaker will be passing the Article of Impeachment - an Act of Incitement of Insurrection - on to the Senate. Supposedly, the Senate trial will take place in February. The Tangerine Tyrant is acting pretty nonchalant about the whole thing. Maybe he thinks that there are a bunch of senators still is his pocket and he won't be convicted. Maybe so but as I've said before the real trials will be with the Southern District of New York. 
Stay tuned.

     One last thing. The Onion phoned us from thirteen and a half time zones away just to say hi. She's taking courses through distance ed from the college in the Valley. She still plans on coming back to Canada to finish her studies but needs a student visa, which hasn't arrived yet. I'm deeply concerned that even if the visa arrives the Beer Flu will prevent her from coming to the Great White North. 
     

Wednesday, 20 January 2021

ONE MORE DAY!

19 Jan 21
05:30 hrs

     Yes Dear Kidlettes, there is but thirty hours or less to the end of the Tangerine Tyrant's reign and it will be a wild ride. Not only has he never admitted that he lost the election - he has stated that his opponent will be installed as the new POTUS - on the other hand he continues to state that the general election was stolen from him. To really understand this outgoing loon you must read the book written by his niece. Don't bother purchasing it as I'm sure your local library has a copy. It's an eye opener and by the end of it you'll be saying "So, that's why he's such an asshole !" 

     With the new POTUS being installed tomorrow the real danger is there may be subversives within the 25K troops.


20 Jan 21
05:00 hrs

     I'm getting ready for work. I made my lunch last night and prepped my coffees  - a drip pot and a pot of roof tar. But right now I am watching the departure of the Tangerine Tyrant, his European Tavern Lizard and their spawn. I am really really really hoping that he refuses to leave and the Armed Crayon Munchers have to go in and pry his fingers off of the Resolute Desk and drag his ass out by the heels.

     My friend Derek shared this with me and I just have to re post it with you as it is so well written.

Ode to a Trumpite.

" ARTICLE FROM THE U.K. GUARDIAN........This says it all & then some....
 
By Grumpy Geezer 
 
No grace, no dignity, no humility, no magnanimity, no class, no morals, no empathy, no soul.
 
He has no friends, not even a dog.
 
His wife can’t bear his touch, his daughter can’t avoid it.
 
Devoid of humour he doesn’t make jokes, he doesn’t laugh. Not ever. An occasional dismal rictus, a necrotic gash in his ochre-lacquered face-bladder signifies nothing more than his satisfaction in transacting another con.
 
He’s a loathsome coagulation of every human failing with no compensating virtues.
 
A craven coward.
 
A sociopath.
 
A serial rapist.
 
A racist.
 
A quisling.
 
An opportunistic grifter.
 
An inveterate cheat.
 
A deceitful toad.
 
A chronic liar.
 
A shameless braggart.
 
An ignoramus who lacks curiosity. He doesn’t read, he doesn’t care.
 
Trump is a ridiculous, combed-over cartoon villain, a deranged clown with a face sprayed the colour of hang-over piss and toilet paper stuck to his shoe whose wits are defeated by an open umbrella. Rake the forests, nuke the hurricanes, inject the bleach, waterbomb Notre Dame cathedral, trade Greenland for Puerto Rico. Trump’s pompous idiocies are exceeded only by his appalling ignorance.
 
Crediting the British with the foresight to build airstrips in the war of independence 110 years before the Wright Brothers first took flight, revealing the hitherto unknown Himalayan countries of Nipple and Button, accusing Baltic leaders of starting Balkans wars! This clueless buffoon brags that he was able to keep the crayon inside the lines on his dementia test. Accusing Trump of a lack of self-awareness is like accusing Myra Hindley of poor child care standards.
 
The Grand Fubar of dysfunction, the maestro of petty vindictiveness, of malice and resentful belligerence is testing coup options yet America flatters itself as being “the world’s greatest democracy” much to the bemusement of observers here in Oz. It’s beyond our imagining that we’d ever have a bloated braggart, a liar, a hypocrite, a lazy shirker, a crony-stacking blame shifter at the helm filtering Murdoch’s kidney stones through his teeth while monetising a pandemic for the benefit of rich mates. Oh… what?
 
Trump, if he’d had the imagination, would’ve considered handing out small-pox infected blankets in Democrat-leaning districts but it’s too late now. A majority of Americans have said enough is enough. After 4 years of what-the-fuck-has-he-done-now, 46,123 tweets and 20,000 documented lies while in office to 9th July 2020 he’s been reduced to pathetic whimperings from his puckered-sphincter pout, playing his invisible accordion to an audience of gormless dullards, fellow hucksters and his retinue of fawning toadies, thralls, invertebrate lickspittles and hangers-on whose fealty is demanded but never reciprocated and who had neither the self-respect nor the courage to call out the capture of the US by an amoral, moronic lunatic.
 
We cannot know what tipped the scales against Trump.
 
No lie has been too outrageous, bragging about sexual assault was just locker-room talk, five bankruptcies are apparently indicative of an astute businessman, stealing from a children’s cancer charity is fake news. Being laughed at by foreign leaders – meh, because y’all – “Merica!” Throwing meat to Boogaloos, Proud Boys, Klansmen and Call Of Duty cos-players was addressing his base. Perhaps it was inciting violence from uniformed goon squads sooled onto lawful BLM protesters that crossed the line. Perhaps it was the denigration of war dead and veterans as losers and suckers by a draft-dodging, yellow, mangy dog that did it.
 
More likely it was 11 million Covid-infected Americans, a quarter of a million who died while the orange blobulator ignored it, denied it, played it down, finger-pointed and then looked for ways to exploit it for his own advantage.
 
There is no excusing Trump, there is no sympathy that should be wasted on this pathetic parasite. History should not record him as some sort of tragic King Lear but as an effluvium, a discharge from the bowels of a diseased system; a funk that has now been sharted.
 
He had always exhibited the narcissistic and antisocial personality disorders of a lack of empathy, grandiosity, lying and deceit, indifference to conventional laws or rules or morality that characterise a despot. But he possessed none of the cunning, artifice, commitment to a cause beyond himself, the political skills of a Stalin or the oratory of a Mussolini. He had no ambition beyond the grift and the trappings – palaces awash with potentate kitsch, a yearning for military parades, a pneumatic wife and his narcissistic cult of personality. He has no talent beyond the con, he’s a schmuck with the dumb luck to be born into wealth that mestasised B-grade celebrity into A-grade larceny.
 
Fittingly, he’s spending his last days shaping his own humiliation. It’s an Armando Iannucci script playing out in real life. If Trump was to be found drooling in a pool of his own piss ala Stalin or dragged Sadam-like from his bolt-hole it would be the most metaphorically noteworthy achievement of his time in office.
 
Gone too will be his dreadful spawn. Ivanka’s in-it-up-to-her-nose-job reputation may limit her future career prospects to hand-job supervisor at a New York sperm bank while Uday and Qusay* could end up in Ryker’s Island trading sexual favours for lines.
 
Jared Kushner may get a gig at a Madame Tussaud exhibit of automatronic rent boys. Melania, no doubt, would enjoy the embrace of a Justin Trudeau look-alike cabana boy, chuckling at the thought that Trump has only Rudi Guiliani left to go through the pre-nup looking for loopholes.
 
The end of America’s nightmare is near. However it plays out over the next day. Trump is finished.
 
The irrelevant man.
 
A loser.
 
*Nod to Marina Hyde in the UK Guardian

Sunday, 10 January 2021

Wow! What a night!

10 Jan 21
05:45 hrs

     I'm pretty sure that you have seen the insanity that took place in the Hugh-ess capital on Wednesday with the Tangerine Tyrant's Sycophant Army stormed the capital building. It was later learned that pipe bombs and molotov cocktail bombs filled with a napalm type liquid had been brought to the action. After storming the castle, in what they felt was their god-given taxpayer right despite the fact that public entry into the capital building is illegal, the mob fled back to whence the came. The FBI has now begun to arrest these shitheads thanks in part to facial recognition software and Facebook, the fact that the average mob members IQ is lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rut meant that these idiots thought it would be cool to digitally show their idiot friends the stupid things they did. Take note that if you are going to riot in the Capital do not where your corporate security pass or you will be fired .. and he was. A CEO was seen in attendance and his company has put him on waivers. And the blame for what happened has fallen squarely on the shoulders of the Tangerine Tyrant. The legislators are going after him with another motion for impeachment for "incitement of insurrection". Is there time in the next two weeks to carry out an impeachment trial? Doubtful. Would the Orange Shitgibbon resign? Not on your your life. Everyone knows that he should be punished for his actions but will he? Again, doubtful because his Senatoral Sycophants would have to grow a spine. Take note that the inauguration is on the 20th of January and the Tangerine Tyrant,  who no longer has access to social media, will go off the rails even more and the Sycophant Army has not been beaten. 

     On a more humourous note I spotted a program on Netflix that is right up my alley. The History of  Swear Words hosted by Nichlas Cage. Each episode is only twenty minutes long and they explore some of your all time faves. Stubbed you toe at night? Yeah, that one! The boss dumped some extra work on you? That one, too! But don't forget, and I have to admit that this program - at least what I've seen of it - DID NOT give credence or acknowledge the groundwork put down by George Carlin who, in 1972, recorded the Seven Dirty Words -  words that could never, at that time, be said on television. Those words were - shit, piss, fuck, c**t, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits. I recently learned that ten years earlier Carlin was with Lenny Bruce when he was arrwted in The Windy City for saying just two of those words on stage in a night club.


21:30 hrs

     Back in the Hugh-ess, the Speaker of the House has stated that if the VP won't seek the 25th Constitutional Amendment to remove the Tangerine Tyrant then she will pursue an impeachment. Rumoir has it that the shit will hit the fan again. Not only in the Hugh-ess Capital but in all of the state capitals. 

     Locally, the new rabbit hutch in our neighborhood is still just a big mud hole but pretty soon the footings will he poured. I haven't seen the artist's conception yet but there are already numerous examples of this kind of building in the Valley already. There is another new project going up just past the hospital on Veterans Way. No idea what the heck that one is. It's a skinny piece of land so I'm figuring commercial. If I haven't mentioned it there is a four story apartment block going up next to the old hotel - the one that was converted into low rent housing years ago. The land must have been super cheap for someone to plant the project there. Back in the day the hotel was pretty nice and the adjoining nightclub was always hopping. Now the bar was cut in half to add a liquor store and when the hotel was sold the new owner figured he could make more money by turning the place into low rent apartments. Nice idea but the place soon turned into the biggest societal blackhole in the Valley. I'm pretty sure that over the years the title has changed hands numerous times and I doubt if the current owners have ever been on the property. If they ever did they might clean it up.

     Tomorrow will mark the fifth anniversary of the passing of my Better Half's father. I'm sure it will be rough on the Oma-nator. Their church, back in the Nation's Capital, will be having a special mass for him on the 17th of this month.

Tuesday, 5 January 2021

Happy New Year!

01 Jan 21
18:00 hrs

     Happy New Year Dear Readers! And let's all say a silent or maybe not so silent prayer, wish, or demand that 2021 will be better than what we all went through on a global scale.

     We read in the Rock's Cage Liner, we recieve a copy daily for the Oma-nator, that there was a massive fire in a four floor rabbit hutch in a city south of Hub City. The fire was in a fourth floor corner unit and it was so intense that sone residents were leaping out of windows. When I saw the pictures on the news l thought it might be a friend of my Better Half. We called her and it turned out to be the building next to hers. Too close.

     One of the gifts i recieved was a dvd of Roger Waters Us+Them concert. It was recorded three or four years ago in Amsterdam. Seventy thousand people attended that one concert. Over two million attended the tour. My youngest Loin Fruit and I watched it yesterday. Great music.


02 Jan 2021
11:00 hrs

     Today is my Brother from Another Mother's birthday. Over breakfast I said to the Oma-nator that it was my brother's birthday. She replied, "I thought you didn't have a brother?" To which I said, "I don't." Well, that just confused the hell out of her. I then had to explain that this Brother was one of many that I had served with and as Service Brother there is a special bond that binds us all. I don't think she understood what I was trying to tell her but that's okay. I didn't think she would have understood. 


04 Jan 21
06:45 hrs

     Well Dear Readers,  yesterday the Tangerine Tyrant stepped into a shit pile once again by demanding that a state official "find votes" that would overturn the election outcome. That particular state has counted, recounted and audited the results which clearly and repeatedly show that the POTUS lost the election. And even if the results were overturned in this state it wouldn't give him enough electoral college votes to win so does this mean he is pressuring the other swing states to change their results as well?  I can't wait for the 20th and this circus will be over. Then the real show, the Tangerine Tyrant's court cases, will start and they WILL BE entertaining for sure.

     The Valley has had rain for pretty much two weeks straight and the forecast is calling for another 50 to 75 mm in just one day. The rivers are swollen and in some places flooding, some local parks are now lakes. But this is nothing compared to northern Samurai which has received about 245 cm of ocean effect snow in the past three days.