With one eye open...

03 Apr 22

07:45 hrs

     Yes, it is with one eye open that I am typing out this page. Last week my Lobster had arranged for us to spend an evening with The Sensei and his Better Half. We walked to their place and ate a wonderful meal that Chef Charlene had produced - homemade chicken enchiladas, dirty rice and a Mexican salad. Dessert was a gluten free lemon meringue pie. All of it was fantastic. After dinner we all walked to the Wayward Inn for cards and libations. And a good time was had by all. Chef Blaine had made some Maki rolls and left me to slice and serve them. A bit heavy on the wasabi but pretty good all the same.

04 Apr 22

05:30 hrs

     The start of another week and today is my Jr. Loin Fruit's birthday. A whole 22 years of age. He's still doing his schooling and he has a plan in place for his future. We're going to celebrate tomorrow as some of us are busy tonight.

     The new Rabbit Hutches near the Wayward Inn are nearly complete and a couple of the buildings now have residents. With 200+ more units there is going to be a lot more traffic in that very small portion of the neighborhood. And, we know that the rental units are pretty pricey. Is that because the developer wants to earn the most the fastest? Is it in line with "the market index"? Is it to keep the riff raff out of the this residential area because the NIMBY's all know that low priced rental units will attract the societal dregs work who are apt to commit crimes in their neighborhood? 

06 Apr 22

07:30 hrs

     Yesterday was an 11 1/2 hour day in the salt mine and as soon as I got home I quickly changed so we could all go out. The Jr. Couch Monkey had chosen to have us dine at a very posh restaurant. It over looks the Harbour and much to my Better Half's concern its menu is very seafood forward. We all relaxed with an aperitif and selected our meals. When going to a restaurant I like to order something tha Chef Blaine or Chef Irene do not normally create at the Wayward Inn. So, I had the panko crusted chicken breast stuffed with crab, asparagus and brie with garlic mashed potatoes seasonal veggies on an bed of bourankaas cream sauce. Pretty swanky. 

     After the bill was all settled we all returned to the Wayward Inn for birthday cake. Chef Irene had made a cream cheese cake in a bundt pan. Delicious! We played a few rounds of Moral Dilemma. We used to have it before but the previous version was a heck of a lot tamer. This new version is much more adult and can really put a person on the spot. We'll have to play it the next time we get together with the Sensei and his Lobster. 

    One final thing, my Better Half and I dashed off to see the Ex-pat Brit. She has been in hospital since she sold the house last September and the cretins moved the northern Interior. The Ex-pat  won't be with us much longer. Her body is all but consumed itself and I dare say she weighs less than her bed linens. The hospital staff is keeping her comfortable which is a Godsend. She has several other friends who have been going to see her on a regular basis but all of the Jackals, Vultures and Hyenaes are in the Interior. Once she has left for the Great Beyond it won't be long before they stalk their way to the lawyers office to feast on the spoils. They have been snapping and snarling for monies ever since the Ex-pat's husband passed away five years or so. I would really like to see her donate the bulk of her estate to a charity and leave them an amount that reflects how much they put into caring for their Matriarch, which is next to nothing. It's all about Treason and Fuckery and in my mind this is her golden opportunity for a little payback. 

And the Beat(ing) goes on!

21 Mar 22

05:30 hrs

     Today is Day 28 of the Bear's invasion Ukraine. And they are punishing the residents because they will not capitulate. The world stands behind Ukraine but will the Bear be punished.

23 Mar 22

19:15 hrs

     The Oma-nator and my Better Half have been spending Mittwoch at a Senior's Centre having supper and visit with people in her peer group. So, Chef Blaine made his designer tomato soup and a gourmet grilled cheese. The Couch Monkeys enjoyed supper immensely. 

     The Sensei and his Lobster are back from their winter solstice hiding in the Nation's Capital. We are all wondering when we'll be getting together for a night of Appies & Aces. 

14:25 hrs

     I have to double check my blind spots. I almost hit a pedestrian. Not good.

     On another note, there is a new multi-use facility being built on the site of the old theater. Four floors, so shops on the ground and condos or apartments upstairs. I'm sure the city would love to have more residents in the downtown core but where the hell are they going to park? If someone lived downtown and worked downtown then they really would need a vehicle because the core is so damn small you could walk it in an hour. But you would need a vehicle to go anywhere in town because the public transit system sucks.

26 Mar 22

07:30 hrs

     I have only a couple of goals today. I need to finish off our taxes and I have to drive up to River City to get a new cap installed on the Ram. Will I be modifying the Interior later. 

     Breakfast this morning at the Wayward Inn will be Breakfast burritos. I haven't had them for awhile so I figure I'll try to see if the Oma-nator will eat one too.

     Take care all!

It's on time!

08 Mar 22

19:00 hrs

     Today is Day 13 - I think - of the Russian invasion of Ukraine. The Russians have been making headway but at an extreme cost. Over two million people have fled Ukraine for all points West. Thousands of people have flocked to join the Ukrainian Foreign Legion. Arms and humanitarian aid has flooded in from the West. Economic sanctions against Russia has crippled their economy and yet Putin fights on. The biggest thing in his favour is that his citizens have no idea that their soldiers have invaded Ukraine. But they are slowly finding out. Especially now since they are the ones looking for their sons and daughters who are in the military. If you haven't heard the Russians are not bringing back their dead to bury them. When they invaded the brought mobile crematorium with them to dispose of their dead on the battlefield.

     Plans are slowly coming together for the summer. Several road trips are in the offing, guests may be visiting, the Couch Monkey's will either be studying or working or both. Oh, and there is gardening to do. We haven't planted our seeds in the starter trays just yet but we will soon. Last year I planted some horseradish. I had processed part of it but I didn't do it right. This year I'll grind the crap out of it. 

09 Mar 22

08:30 hrs

     I was up at 05:00 hrs. Some of the solar lights were still lit up outside. I'm down to three post lights now. The solar rope lights on the gazebo over the Flame Pit were still lit up as was the one on the fence by the shop. The small micro lights on the trellises will probably need the rechargeable batteries changes out. I'll try to do that today as I'm not on the job today. If I had the cash I would re-roof the Wayward Inn and have solar panels installed in a grid tie system. I would also have a huge cistern tank - something like 50,000 ltr - installed in the backyard to collect rain water that I would use for the toilets and the lawns. In fact, all houses on the Left Coast should have a built in cistern. And once it's nearly empty you simply open a valve to go back to using city water. 

      Next month the Sensei and his Lobster are going to join us to see the comic Derek Edwards at the theater downtown. We have seen him a couple of times already and have found him hilarious to say the least.

     I ran into my old work partner from my Animal Control days. He filled me in on one of our perennial problem cases. Loose dogs, dangerous dogs, loose live stock, neglected animals and now an assault charge. I left that division after five years of dealing with idiots like them who believe that they are above the law.

10:45 hrs

     Just got off the horn with a medical supplier. Between the amalgamation of two companies and the Silly Season they had "lost" my paperwork. Well, it has been found and I am back on track to have my CBD delivered by DVA. Huzzah! 

     It is shaping up to be a half decent day. The sun is shining. I have to prune the Saskatoon and the blueberry bushes along with some other trees, hit the dispensary and go to The Big Box Store. I should mend my new work pants, too. They are far too long for my stumpy little legs so I'll have to knock off a foot in length. I swear the older I get the shorter I get.

     The price of fuel has reached over $2 ltr here on the Left Coast. That's nearly $10 per Imperial gallon. I remember when it was a buck a gallon and the big jump happened when the Great White North went metric. Consumers had no clue how big a litre was but what was $1.10 per gallon went to 0.35 per litre. Nice except that when converted back to imperial (multiply litres by 4.5) consumers were unknowingly paying $1.57 per gallon. Hey, do you remember when Wayne and Shuster were spokesmen for PetroCanada as they introduced self service pumps and the fuel was cheaper because you put it in your car? Yeah, those were the days. Of course the provinces and the Feds are not lowering the taxation rate per barrel or per litre as they are raking in the cash too. This shit with the Russians had better end soon or it's going to be another Staycation Summer.

11 Mar 22

05:15 hrs

     I received some great news yesterday. My request to receive my CBD through DVA has moved a big leap forward. There is just a couple of leaps left but I think it will be a shoo in.

     I heard something while watching Top Chef. During one round the Blue Team gained all five votes from the judges and the background you can hear one of the competitors yell, "Sweep the leg, Johnny!" Do you remember what movie that's from?

The Russians are coming! The Russians are coming!

24 Feb 22

06:15 hrs.

     Unless you have been living in a cave you will now know that Vlad has been up to no goodinski. After months of posturing and building up troops in the lands surrounding Ukraine they have crossed the border into some "dispured" territory to assist as peacekeepers. And if you believe that I have land north of Thompson for sale. 

     Today is the Oma-nator's 89th birthday. And we are all happy that she is here with us. Nuff said.

25 Feb 22

15:45 hrs

     The Ruskies are closing on Kiev. The Ukrainians are fighting back. They took out an airbase inside Russia with a ballistic missile attack. But realistically they are outdated and outgunned. As they are not a NATO country NATO cannot step in and assist under Article 5 of the Charter. It's  crying shame to watch as the bad guys are closing in and nothing but sanctions have been applied. Too little too late and Vlad doesn't give a rat's ass because he is looking to recreate the USSR that he grew to love as a young KGB spud. Of course no one has the intestinal fortitude to call him on his actions because they'll be carted off to the Gulag as quick as you can say borscht three times. In fact, Ruskie citizens did take to the streets in the thousands to protest what their Dum-ass  government was doing and nearly 2000 were "detained" for their actions. Film at 11.

     In a discussion about the situation, a friend of mine posited this, if you were king what would you do? I said that I would have a couple of hunter killer subs make their way into the Black Sea and plot a target on every Ruskie vessel and once NATO joined the fray put every one of them on the bottom and then surface the sub and launch the cruise missiles before slipping away.

26 Feb 22

19:45 hrs.

     We have snow. Not a lot. Just enough to piss us off.

     We were watching the Amazing Sweat Your Hole Off. The competitors were in Dolmades Land fighting to be in the final three. One team was headed to the next objective - he was driving and she was looking at the map like a monkey doing algebra. That's when I heard the standard You-All complaint .... "Why can't they print the map in English?" 

     Uh, because you're in Dolmades Land so it's printed in Dolmadic! 

     The other common comment is..."Why don't you speak 'Merican so I'se can understand ya?"

     I had to repair the kitchen sink tap. Sous Irene said it was dripping. Who am I to complain. I got to work with tools and drive around town aimlessly looking for parts, both of which are manly pursuits. No, I didn't invite the Couch Monkey's along. I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain things to them anymore. 

Time Flies!

14 Feb 22

11:55 hrs.

     Hello Kidlettes, 

     And a Happy Valentine's Day to you!

     There has a lot that has happened that we have to get caught up on so let's get started shall we?

     Yesterday was the Stupor Bowl in the Hugh-ess.  Big deal. Over 100,000 people packed into the stadium in La La Land to watch overpaid entertainers play the final game of this season's 'Merican rules football. Tickets to see the game in person ranged from $7K to $100K. That's an awful lot of money that could have been used to help people. A 30 second ad cost $6.5 million. That's a lot of cash for a beer commercial. I know some people who have debated the subject of pro sport salaries with me and I will not be moved from my position in that I feel that no one deserves to be paid (as an example) $50 million to play a sport for five years. Sure, that's what the market will bear but I say let's get realistic. How about $2 million per year and the rest of the salary must go to a charity? Imagine what could be accomplished?

     The Beer Flu protestors in the Nation's Capital and at selected border crossings to the Hugh-ess have clearly worn out their welcome and the Feds are in the process of enacting the Emergency Measures Act. This act is the revamped version of the War Measures act that Trudeau Sr. had dropped on Canuckistan during the FLQ crisis. Like father like son.

15 Feb 22

08:15 hrs

     There are more empty shops here in the Valley. For a variety of reasons they have had to close up. But the spaces are not being shuttered for long. One posh restaurant has been transformed into a bbq and patio furniture store and a Mexican restaurant that shuttered years ago is going to be a fried chicken joint.

     The other day our eldest went for a drive with my Better Half to River City. The went to the college campus and he picked up his text books for his courses at the end of the month. The smart money is on the notion that he will not crack them until he starts his first class. Surprised? No.

     Yesterday the Queens's Cowboys arrested thirteen people at a border crossing in the Redneck Province. In a search of the trucks they found weapons, ammunition  and body Armour. So much for a peaceful protest.

17 Feb 22

12:00 hrs

     This intrepid individual was yards into work today. A coworker had to deal with a medical emergency. So I stepped up. It's what is expected. It's what I do.

     On the Beer Trucker Rodeo Front...with the emergency measures act in place the Feds are having the banks dig into the accounts of the known attendees and if there is anything hinky their accounts will be frozen. I guess they'll have to buy their deisel with empty Cheetos bags from the sleeper cab. Those attendees with children or pets have been informed make arrangements for daycare or dog care in the event they are taken into custody. Additionally,  drivers licenses and vehicle insurance could be suspended. Saddle up buckaroos. It's going to be a bumpy ride.

21:30 hrs.

     The Waistrels have invaded the Wayward Inn. Invaded maybe too strong of a word since they were escorted in. If I didn't have too work I would find a means of escaping. It's a circular thing. If they keep down the noise I won't hear the pointless lack of real life experience rhetoric which will keep a grump vet at bay. The quieter they are the faster he will go to sleep. That doesn't mean I have to be quiet in the morning as I get ready for work. It's the price you have pay for being a Waistrel.

     I may not have mentioned it but one of the Travelling Cuz'ns Outlaws has been granted citizenship in the Great White North. We like him. He's a chef. A real one. Speaking of chefs, Chef Blaine has dictated more ideas for his next book I just have to find the time to type it out. I'm still thinking about inserting the recipes into the narrative or after the narrative. What do you think?

How about those Mother Truckers?

31 Jan 22

07:30 hrs

     Yes, how about those Mother Truckers? Clogging up our Nation's Capital with their rigs spewing deisel fumes and their demands. Now, here's the thing. The trucking associations across the Great White North have stated that up to 90% of their members have been vaccinated and if they are vaccinated and have their documentation in order they can cross the Hugh-ess border and back with no issues. I have a friend of mine - and he is a Redneck but one who has a fair bit of common dog - has been hauling goods back and forth since he was out of high school. His company informed him that to cross the border - in other words do his job - he had to be double dipped and papered. No problem since the alternative was no job. The Golden Horseshoe Cartage association has said that those drivers who do not want get vaccinated can simply continue to work inside the Great White North which they don't want to do as there is more money to be made crossing the border. 

     The science shows that being jabbed and masking up curbs the spread of the Beer Flu but these truckers and their hangers on - I'll get to those shit heads in a minute - are either ignorant of the facts or, as I was informed, know that these procedures are the best way to but don't want to be told that they have to do it. In other words, like any petulant child they are stomping their feet and blowing their air horns when confronted with the obvious. DO AS YOU ARE TOLD! 

     From across the country these rigs and pickups and motor homes have descended on our Nation's Capital. From what I saw it was quite the party with tailgate bbqs cooking brats and dancing - on the Nation's War Memorial - and arts and crafts with attendees painting slogans and swastikas on federal property. Ten thousand people looking for a washroom with none around so they flock to local restaurants where they are denied access because they are not vaccinated and they won't mask up. This dives them to one of the largest malls in the NCR and again because of their Redneckery they get punted out and the mall managers close the place down for a couple of days. 

     What started as a means to peacefully convey a message to the Feds that this hard working portion of our society has had enough of the rules and regulations. I get it. But, once their intentions were splayed across social media every frozen loon with an axe grind crawled out of his igloo strapped on his snowshoes and started marching towards The Hill. Unfortunately, there is no way the Feds are going to drop the requirements for unvaccinated people to cross the border into the Great White North. This means testing and a quarantine. Life's rough, but those are the rules and you might as well drive home instead of clogging up the streets. As for the free radicals within the protest be warned as the police forces are surfing social media and using facial recognition. You will be found. You will be charged. And the nation will know that you are a criminal. Just imagine little Janey explaining to her class during Show and Tell that "Yes, that was her mom gleefully dancing on the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier or how her cousin was filmed trying to urinate on the Centenial Flame or dress up a hero in signage." And for the local Rezidents of Nation's Capital who are pure urbanites with no concept of tractor trailers or their operators ot has come as a huge shock to have these big rigs choking up the roads where they live. And those air horns can be annoying can't they?

22:15 hrs

     I just discovered something that, as a responsible adult (most of the time), really torqued me off. Child proof type safety devices on items used by adults. I know the safety device is meant to prevent kids from getting hurt. But, if you have no kids under the age of ten then you should be able buy one for "adults only" that has no safety mechanisms because you are responsible enough not to use your mouthwash for a mix with your vodka. Took me three minutes to modify the cap so I don't have to squeeze it to get the damn thing off.

     My Lobster and I went for a nature walk through the woods. The district ponied up some cash and enlarged the parking lot. They also redesigned the entrance away from a dangerous blind corner. Good on them. We sauntered through the trees. It was really nice be out off of the concrete. Heard some eagles, may have seen a Robin but it might be a bit early for them. 

     Our daffodils are poking out of the ground. I know you are cursing me if you live to the right of the Rockies.

01 Feb 22

07:15 hrs

     Yes, I slept in. So what. I'm getting up there in age and since I wasn't working today I took advantage of the situation. That being said, the skies were stating to lighten when I got up. Still kinda frosty out. This looks like it will be the third day in a row when we have had no ground fog and looking out from the Wayward Inn I can see the Beauforts to the left of us. Another signal that the seasons/weather is now changing is that the collectors on our solar lights are gathering enough of light to remain on at night for quite some time. Last night the gazebo over the Flame Pit was lit up as Chef Blaine cooked up some veggie patties and weisswurst.

     My Lobster had purchased two slide out shelves to be mounted inside our cupboards. She got them from The Big Box Store. I had seen them before and her purchase made sense since getting older means it's more difficult bend down to root around in the back of a cupboard looking for a misplaced kitchen implement. They are expandable from 12 to 22 inches. Our shelves are 26 across so they don't quite cover all of it. Once I read the destructions it was a pretty simple operation. I needed the help of my Better Half to reinstall the upper shelf as my bad shoulder was not co-operating. The help was gratefully appreciated. 

     That's about it Kidlettes. I can hear the Oma-nator puttering about in the Princess Suite. She doesn't know that I'm up already si she won't come out because she's probably afraid of waking someone up. Not a chance.

     One last thing, the Big Swede is supposed to be shipping me a couple three of the audio recorders he had purchased last year. They are powered  by three AA batteries. I'm going to order some three C cell holders and wire them in. The units will then be able to remain in tbe field for a month or more.

What the hell is that?

20 Jan 22

17:30 hrs

     At about 13:00 hrs today I was absolutely stunned at the sight of this glowing ball traversing the horizon towards the Beauforts. It was something that has not been seen in over the Valley in several weeks. Things are certainly starting to get better here while my Outlaws in the Golden Horseshoe are experiencing a shitload of the white stuff and temps of -20°C like those on the Bald Prairie. Looks good on them.

21 Jan 22

07:30 hrs

     The end of a full work week will soon be over. Maybe I'll be able to finally take down the Christmas lights at the Wayward Inn. Yup, they are still up. The weather was the deciding factor on their removal. Ladders are not steady when placed on ice.

     Chef Blaine had an epiphany. Bacon salt! You can purchase all kinds of flavoured salts - coffee, Sriracha, ghost pepper and others - but is there such a thing as bacon salt? Turns out there is but he found a recipe and has made an attempt. It's not bad. Just three ingredients. Bacon, salt and pepper. What could go wrong?

25 Jan 22

06:30 hrs.

     Yesterday was the Sage's birthday. She was getting so many calls from well wishers that she called me! My Better Half and I played hookey and deeked out to River City on a date. We spotted some interesting new rabbit hutches being built all along the shoreline. The rental rates are just as expensive there as they are here in the Valley. If you have ever driven up there you will know about the massive Left Coast designed house sitting just outside of town. My Lobster took a look on the provincial property assessment site and that particular house has four bedrooms,  six bathrooms, the main floor is 5,000 square feet with 1,400 on the second floor and is valued at 4.million. The cleaning minions must live on the upper floor.

     I have been very busy with work the past few weeks so very little of the next book's rough draft has been scribbled out. I'm hoping to get some done today. 

     We have a new addition to the Wayward Inn. A new LG refrigerator. The previous one had been in place since we moved in and we were having some issues with it. A qualified repair dude had replaced a couple of parts but other issues began to appear. When the big holiday sales were on we went to Home Despot and picked one out. 

     The Oma-nator is still hanging in there. We took her on a road trip to Hub City to see the Onion, who is in residence for her studies. It was a good to drive The Ram on a road trip and listen to the Hemi purr along. 

     There was a major raid on four Island locations carried out by the the Queens's Cowboys. Six people, related to The Angel's, were taken into custody. Evidence collected included large quantities of illicit drugs, weapons and monies. Two of the locations raided were here in The Valley. 

09:45 hrs.

     Have you heard of the big truck rally driving from the Left Coast all the way to the Nation's Capital? They're protesting the vaccine mandate imposed by the government when crossing the border into the Hugh-ess and they want it stopped. The problem is that I don't have time nor the crayons to explain to these idiots that it is the Hugh-ess that is demanding that they be vaccinated. One of the organizers of the rally has stated that anyone attending or participating who is violent or who is advocating a Hugh-ess type Jan 6th Insurrection will be outed and reported to the police. 

26 Jan 22

05:45 hrs

     The fog is still with us. A swirling grey soup that thins or thickens within seconds causing vehicles to appear and disappear right before your eyes. This also means you are slipping in and out of view. Turn on your headlights Kidlettes. Even in the daytime. Be seen and be safe!

     One last bit. Last Friday two Canucks were gunned down in a resort in the Big Chili Pepper. As it turns out they were whacked for welching on a drug deal. Go figure.