And Away We Go!

16 Aug 24

07:45 hrs

     Hello Kidlettes, 

     It's your long lost scribe. Remember me? Things have been busy and I was under the impression that no one really gave a shit about the words that I occasionally penned on various topics. However, I was querried on when the cookbook was coming out and Why? I wasn't publishing anything on the blog page. 

     

     You're reading it? Alright then.

     Yes, the cookbook, How to Cook Your way out of a Wet Paper Bag, s now available on Amazon. My Better Half and I went over it numerous times editing, formatting and editing some more. I uploaded it and immediately saw that it didn't look right. Headings were on the wrong page making the page numbers out of whack. Back to the drawing board. Eventually we got everything lined up. The upload looked great and we ordered several proof copies. I was away at the Sage's Place when I got the call. The copies had arrived but there was an issue. All the page numners were in the bottom right hand corner on bothe the right hand and the left hand page meaning the left hand page number was buried near the spine of the book. Not good. This final problem was corrected as soon as I returned home.

     My Lobster and I are on another trip. This time we have jetted off to The Land of Nessie. After a flight to Cowtown via an overnight jaunt to The Western Pearl (due to the WestJet trip rescheduling) we arrived in the capital with eyes wide open. The first day we walked our feet off exploring the downtown area. Not only did we circumnavigate the castle we dodged through the Fringe Festival crowds. Tomorrow is another day.

May the 4th be with you!

03 May 24

12:15 hrs

     Tomorrow is May the 4th and is a ay on words from the Star Wars mantra "May the Force be with you!". Do you realize that Star Wars is almost 50 years old! How does that make you feel? Old? I should say so. And before that was Star Trek, which is over 60 years old. AMAZING! 

     Yes, some of the dialog and techniques are now outdated but these classics are still worth watching. This morning I started watching Smokey and the Bandit. Do you you remember that one? Another classic and still just as funny. Burt Reynolds, Sally Field, Jerry Reed and Jackie Gleason. If you can't laugh during this movie you're probably dead.

On the Road Again

27 Apr 24

06:35 hrs

     I am laying in bed, snuggled against the cool spring temperature with my Lobster beside me. We have taken the Mobile Wayward Inn down Island for a weekend getaway. There's a campsite that is in Totem Town that we've stayed at before. It's most of the way to Capital City, about an hour out. This gives us the opportunity to visit my Cuz'n and her Lobster. In addition to this, the Onion had to come to Capital City to complete some official paperwork so we're going to have brunch with her, prowl the labyrinth of FanTan Alley and peruse a bookstore.

28 Apr 24

13:15 hrs

     We are now home safe and sound with pretty much all of our goals accomplished. We met up with the Onion and went for brunch at Fuego's. We had been there several times over the years but this time the food seemed to be lacking something so we won't be back. There was one book I spotted that I would lime to get but I'll wait til it's in the Big Box Store at half the price. IMO, no first edition hard cover book is worth $50 or more, and that includes G.Lee's Big Book of Bass which was listed at $100 Cdn, unless it's some ancient tome from Willy Shakespeare or Chaucer.

     We met up with my Cuz'n and her Better Half at their place. It's always good to touch base with family. We played some cards - Screw Your Neighbour - which yours truly took both games. It was dark and drizzly on the drive home to the campsite but we were in no rush and took our time.

     This morning we has breakfast played two games of crib, which I lost and then proceeded to pack up. It didn't take us long and we were on the road by 10:00 hrs. The wind and elevation was against us and the Ram ate more fuel on the return leg. We also had to dodge competitors in the annual Snow to Surf race who were cycling along both sides of the highway. A pretty dodgey thing to be doing when large vehicles hauling even larger units right alongside your head at 80 km. Hmmm...do I swerve into the oncoming lane or do I clip the cyclist into the ditch? Decisions, decisions. 

     Mortality raised its ugly head last night when I saw a post from a Brother in Arms who reported that a former crew member of ours has passed away. He was younger than myself, I think. It seems that fallen friends are accumulating fast. Last year it was a former M/Cpl and another the year before that. If you have a network of former friends I would ask you to keep in touch with them. Phone calls are best. 

Projects

06 Apr 24

19:15 hrs

     Howdy Folkes,

     Another project has been completed here at the Wayward Inn.  My Better Half had a vision of extending the Catio out onto the lawn so our three fuzz balls can experience the great outdoors without being tied to a fixed point and safe from being picked off by one our resident big birds of prey (it happens a couple times each year). The main cage was a steel chicken coop that my Lobster saw on marketplace in River City. I was tasked with building a tunnel that would privide the kitties with safe travel between the Catio and the Annex. It is constructed of pine 1 x 2's with 3/4 inch mesh wrapped around it. The tunnel is 134" x 15" x 18" and was built in two sections. There is a hinged door at the Catio entrance to the tunnel.

     I hope they're happy!

11 Apr 24

08:30 hrs

     Today is the anniversary of the Oma-nator's passing. My Lobster and I were beside her when it happened. It was a release.  The last three weeks were hard on everyone but my Better Half bore the brunt of it as no one else could attend to Oma's needs as well as she had. Unless of course, if she has gone to palliative care but that was against her wishes which was to be in her home when it happened. It's surreal that she is physically gone but we think of her every day. Her room has been transformed twice. First, as a spare bedroom/games room and now more of just a games room as the Sr. Couch Monkey has brought in a huge gaming table for his group of Nerds to use.

     The Juice is dead at the age of 76. I heard it was cancer. Good. I hope it was painful, too. I doubt if there was a deathbed confession but as sure as the sun rises in the East there is a special place Downstairs for him for all eternity. 

     The Jr. Loin Fruit had his work interview yesterday. It was online. I hope he made a good impression as he is really ready to move ahead on his career path. Due to the military trade he has chosen he had to sign a NDA attesting that he would not record, photograph or divulge any of the questions that were put to him nor any of his responses. Sounds pretty Secret Squirrel to me. You may think it's pure BS but I assure you that this is often true. I was once on a training course Down East and at the start of one particular lecture the presenting officer informed the room that his lecture was for members of the Five Eyes community only. He then canvassed the room to find out who all was in attendance. Canucks, You-Alls, some Austin's and.....a few Chicanos. 

     "You'll have to leave."

     "?Que."

     "Your country is not a signatory of the Five Eyes Agreement and therefore you, and your staff, cannot attend my lecture."

     "Si Senor."

     After the lecture I reflected on what I had heard and there was nothing that could not have been gleaned from open outside sources. However, as this lecture was sourced from Five Eyes material the presenter had no choice but chuck out the Mexicans. I even told him so. His response? He was fully aware of the facts but rules are rules. 

12 Apr 24

08:45 hrs

     Yesterday my Lobster was taking Mr. Wilson out for a walk on a harness. They had started in the backyard and had moved to the front when suddenly he stopped and was looking into the bushes.

My Lobster looked and there was Jack the Escaped Convict. Somehow he had pushed his way out of the screen door on the Catio despite the dozen door holding magnets. Now in Jack's defense, he wants to be able to walk around the yard like the Orange Blunder but he refuses to wear a harness and when Wilson comes back in from walk Asshole Jack beats him up because he's jealous. Extra security was required and fast. First, I installed an over centre pin lock which I thought was pretty strong. But with his granite skull and iron will determination he managed to pop that open. So, back to Home Despot I went. I picked up two gate hooks and installed them on the screen door. One on either side. So now, either one must be engaged to keep Sir Jack contained. He doesn't like it. Tough shit.

13 Apr 24

09:15 hrs

     Yesterday I started the inspection o  the Mobile Wayward Inn. It's been a while since we had put it toady real use and now we are hoping to get out some more. 

     Everything was clean and dry on the I side. I pulled the batteries and had to top them off with distilled water. Both were down and needed to be recharged. I'm hoping the inverter is okay. When we had first purchased the unit I drove a Ford Sport Trac, which had been wired for our monstrous tent trailer. Now, unbeknownst to me, the grease monkey who did the wiring had done the job incorrectly. Oh, it worked great with the tent trailer but when we bought the travel trailer I quickly found out that there was a problem. 

     My Friend from Over the Hump had come to assist me in getting the unit home from the dealership up the highway. All went well. No issues at all. But, as I was backing it in at the Wayward Inn, with him ground guiding me, he noticed that the lights were not working correctly. Left was right, right was brakes, brakes were running lights. Weird shit. So, I contacted the company that had wired the truck. Now, that should have been a simple job as the trailer plugs are pretty much plug and play. Obviously not. Everything had worked right because he had rewired the truck AND the tent trailer as a single unit. Once hooked up to the travel trailer, which was clean from the factory, things were wrong. The original mechanic had retired and the new guy said to bring the truck and trailer down so he could perform a diagnostic on them. While enroute the wiring over heated, melted and shorted outlocking up the trailer brakes as I was heading down the hill into town. I was dragging 4500 pounds of dead weight leaving rubber on the road. I stopped the rig, set the parking brake and when I saw the melting wires I quickly disconnected the trailer from the truck. The trailer brakes released. 

     It took the guy three days to figure out what had gone wrong and in the end he simply removed the existing plugs and started fresh. He more or less had to as the trailer connector was fused. What I didn't know was the inverter, which converts 120VAC to 12VDC, had been pooched as well and over the next seven or eight years we suffered from dead batteries (at $$$ per battery). It took me some time to figure this out as I'm not a travel trailer mechanic. Once I did I contacted the dealership as to how much a replacement would be. Oh, really? That much, huh. And, how much for the installation? Okay. Next time kiss me first!

     I went looking for the inverter and found the part number, looked it up on Amazon. It was 1/3 of the dealer price and when it arrived I called my Friend from Over the Hump and he drove to the Wayward Inn to assist me in the installation. That cost a sandwich and a beer. So, if this inverter is screwed, and I'm hoping it's not, I'm quite sure that I can install a new one myself. I'll keep you informed.

     The editing of the cookbook has been completed and my Better Half is having me go through the editing to give it my approval. I'm adding a few more photos as I go but I can't think of a photo for the front cover. I think I'll put myself on the back cover, though. If you have any ideas drop me a line.

15 Apr 24

06:30 hrs

     It has now started. 

     The first criminal trial of a former Prez of the Hugh-ess. Any bets on when or how often he's going to be nailed for contempt of court?

     I'll get the popcorn.

Hello Campers

08 Feb 24

05:45 hrs

Hello Campers, 

     

     A lot has happened since I last wrote to you and there is much more to come, so buckle up Buttercup!

24 Mar 24

07:45 hrs

     I must have had a huge brain cramp because I had totally forgotten that I was writing this blog. Not that it matters because no one is really reading this anyways. I wish someone would have messaged me to say, "Hey! Where the hell are you? I miss your verbal ramblings!" 

     Anyways, on with the show.

     Not having enough of a fun time in Sin City, my Better Half and I traveled to Cuba for some sun, sand and relaxation. We left our Island on the Left Coast on the 10th of February and returned on tbe 22nd. Cuba was...Cuba. The overall quality of the food has dropped even lower, if that's even possible and there were other deficiencies. My Lobster had somehow injured her knee in Sin City and it was still bothering her to walk so we slowly moved around the resort to different venues to play cribbage and people watch. People Watching is quite the past time for us at these resorts. Of course you never know their real names so we make up monikers to identify them. Names like Spider Legs - he was this nearly sixty year old Quebecer with a growing forehead and scrawny bandy legs that were the same diameter from his ankle to his hip. Another was Dumber and Dumber - a pair of over six-foot wannabes from the Golden Horseshoe who drank from sun up to sun down and beyond while wandering the resort ogling women which did cause some physical friction between them and the ladies partners. There were the Flossy Twins - a couple of twenty somethings who wore a different set of matching string bikinis every day they went to the beach. There were others as well but I'm sure you get the point. 

     We did meet some other people. We hung out with a family from K'loops for a while. I sent them a copy of my books after we got home. And there was a couple from la Belle Provence whose conversations we found to be quite engaging. While in Cuba the Russian Tyrant killed Alexei Navalny. It didn't seem to phase the oligarchs or the nouveau Russians that were now at the resort in increasing numbers. In the end we realized that we had now done this vacation spot three times and the bloom was off the rose. Adios Cuba.

26 Mar 24

09:00 hrs

     My Lobster is having me create an annex to the Catio. It will positioned partially on the lawn with a tunnel access from the main Catio. Oh joy. I hope the damn furballs like it.

     We're getting geared up for the day when our Jr. Loin Fruit heads of for his career in the military. Its been a tough slog to get him enlisted. Too many hoops and bottle necks. The CAF is suffering from low enrollment as potential members have to wait years to get accepted and quite often they simply say FU and move on to another career. If and when it happens, the Wayward Inn will be quieter that's for sure. I should ask the Sage what it was like at home when I headed off for my own career at the ripe old age of 18. 

     The Sr. Couch Monkey has completed his second phase and is working diligently on a major project in town. He and his Significant Other are talking about possibly moving to Capital City in a year or so. That's going to be interesting for a whole host of reasons. 

     My Lobster is slogging away at her job. The front room was converted to an office last year complete with two cat stands. After breakfast she announces, "Who's coming to work?" The three of them follow her in and take their positions. It's kinda cute.

     It was brought to my attention that we, my Better Half and myself, had not had an eye exam in quite some time. Seven years! So, off we went. Exams done then off to the Big Box Store to select new frames. Thank goodness insurance will cover nearly 80%. I'm sure we will be happier when they arrive in a couple of weeks.

     One of my favourite local radio stations was an Oldie station based out of Hub City and the Sunshine Coast with a repeater station located across the Strait at Pee River - it was usually one song behind the main station. I like these stations as they play the tunes that I grew up with. Things you can hum along with or tap your toes to or have crooning in the background. Yesterday,  I tuned the radio in only to hear disco. That's right, honest to GOD nuts in a vice soprano squealing glass shattering synthetic driven cacophony. I turned it off. I was having none of that crap. They had changed formats. But, what about the repeater station across the Strait? Today I searched the freqs and found that the repeater station had maintained the original format. Music played on real instruments. Thank the Heavens for small miracles.

     Speaking of music, have you ever heard Cathedral by Van Halen? I've heard the song a gazillion times and I always thought it was Eddie Van Halen working the keyboard. Well, listen to the song and then look on YouTube for the video of him performing the song. It will surprise the shit out of you. It's all on guitar! That man had some talent!

27 Mar 24

08:00 hrs

     It's wet out. March came in like a lion and it's looking like it will go out like a lion. So much for old adage.

29 Mar 24

08:00 hrs

     Just the other day my Lobster informed me that as of April 01, 2024 the federal government members of the Great White North will become the second most well paid elected in the world. Their average pay will be in excess of 200K. If a member has a portfolio the increase is even more.The Head Honcho will see a pay raise of 10K+. And this is happen on the same day that the punishing carbon tax is set to increase by 23%. So, in other words, our elected officials give themselves a big ass pay raise while penalizing those who elected them. 

     Maybe, we shouldn't elect them. 

     

A Short Getaway

08 Jan 24

06:30 hrs

     I should still be asleep but I've never been one to sleep in. I'd half to be sick and bedridden to sleep past 0700. Maybe once I'm fully retired. Who knows?

     My Lobster and I are on a short getaway. Five nights in Sin City. Neither of us had ever been, although many of our friends had including my Li'l Sis who has been here four or five times. Our journey began with an inquiry as to where in the world was the Body Works exhibit displayed. First, those of you who are not familiar with this display I suggest that if you are squeamish that you don't eat anything and be sitting down when you view the following website - www.realbodiesvegas.com/?k. A number of years ago our family had gone over to the Pacific Pearl on the mainland to see the exhibit, portions of which travel the globe and we wanted to see it again. Well, it was playing in Amsterdam and in another far off place that would be much too far out of our reach. And then,lo and behold, it was showing at not one but two venues in Sin City. We kibbitzed for a bit and decided what the hell. Let's do it. 

    My Better Half made the arrangements. Flights, lodgings, excursions and sights to see. It'll be a full package deal with plenty of time to take in the the vast display of You-All Excess and by what we have seen so far it will boggle your mind. Let's start with our room. On the 57th floor no less. The room itself is nothing to write home about except maybe the bathroom. It has all the amenities of our ensuite but bigger and the there is the view. We overlook the airport.. well, one corner of the south approach where the march of departing aircraft lift off at one minute intervals and is only interrupted by the approach of new arrivals on the parallel runway. This morning I watched the sunrise over the moonscape. That's what the terrain looks like. I'm sure some biologist would gladly tell me all about the local flora and fauna but as we flew in I saw nothing but rock and dirt and more rock. A pretty landscape, geologically speaking, with plateaus, ridges, valleys, gorges, peaks and mess. But no discernable life. None whatsoever. 

09 Jan 24

19:00 hrs

     After we arrived my Better Half and I walked down the Vegas Strip to a 30,000 Sq ft pinball palace. The games ranged from machines from the 40's to last year. Prices from 25 cents to two bucks for three games. The place has been open for over 50 years and is operated by volunteers whi donate their wages to a fu dcof their choice - food bank, women's shelter, etc. 

     Yesterday we checked out the opulence of the resorts. Ours, the Luxor, New York New York, the MGM Grand. There is a shuttle monorail that travels most of the way up the Strip. Fifteen bucks gives you 24 hours. We traveled a fantastic illusionist at Bally's/The Horseshoe. It was 75 minutes of pure amazement. My Lobster was called up on stage to participate and at first she was pretty skeptical but even she was stunned by the show.

     Being an over the top destination, things are not cheap. The attractions, the drinks  - free if you're gambling, rooms and most of all the food. Fifty bucks will get you your standard breakfast of eggs, bacon/sausage, toast and hash browns. A real meal at a prime chef's restaurant - Puck, Morimoto, Chang, Flay, Ramsay or any of the others will cost hundreds for the two of you and that does not include drinks.

     Today, we went on a bus tour to the Hoover Dam and the Grand Canyon. My Better Half booked it through Comedy on Deck tours. A great trip and I highly recommend it as well. Our tour guide was pretty knowledgeable and extremely funny.

13 Jan 24

15:00 hrs

     Well Kidlettes, the rest of our trip south to the Hugh-ess is almost done. I could regale you with all of the details. The Mob Museum was outstanding as was Fremont Street and the numerous casino/hotels we wandered through. We took in two illusionist shows as well. Our routing home the Wayward Inn was delayed as a massive winter storm that caused over 250 flights across the country. We are now scheduled to fly out 24 hours later and have spent the day at L'il Sis's place.

     This journey has been fraught with annoyances, at least for my part, the noise for one and for those reasons it is doubtful that I'll ever be back to Vegas. 

So? How was it?

27 Dec 23

22:00 hrs

     Well, half of the Holiday Season has passed and we have survived. There were a few moving parts this year with the Sr. Loin Fruit's Significant Other heading South to Capital City for part of it and at the Wayward Inn as well while the Jr. Couch Monkey's Significant Other stayed over too. And, to top it all off, we had The Onion come up from Hub City to be with us. Needless to say the place was busy with Chef Blaine and Sous Irene trying to keep ahead of the wave. Speaking of waves, I was called in to backfill a position at work on the Christma afternoon shift down at Goose Spit. The wind was gusting to 70km, the rain was horizontal to the ground and the sea state was running 12 foot waves. And there were people out kite surfing in that stuff! Crazy!

29 Dec 23

20:30 hrs

     Things just keep getting better. Today we had to reach the hot water tank. The original tank appeared to be leaking. Actually, there was water behind the new washer and I thought it was a slow leak from the nest of hose vipers. After mopping up the dampness with some towels we monitored the situation and determined that it was the tank. My Lobster started calling plumbers and finally received a response. By 14:00 hrs the new tank was installed. I just checked the tank an hour ago and there was fresh water on the tiles. A call was placed to the plumber and we followed his advise....mop it up, close the valve. After a half hour I opened the valve and checked for water. Nothing so far. Cross your fingers.

     Elric and his Lobster are coming over for New Years Eve. Elric is often deprived of dining on red meat so Chef Blaine is going to make Tea Smoked Korean ribs. For the others there will be chicken kabobs and Thai shrimp for the pescatarians.  Sous Irene is planning some Asian noodle salad plus we'll have a small cheese board. Dine, have a couple games of cards with our guests and rack out.

     As a Christmas gift my Better Half bought tickets for us and the Loin Fruits with their Significant Others for the Christmas Pantomime. It is put on by one of the local musical acting troupes. We had been to a half dozen or so before the Beer Flu had hit the planet and usually they are pretty entertaining in a bad dad joke kinda way. But this year the acting was a 3 of 10, the singing a 2 of 10, there were characters in the play that had no business being in the play and the writing was a 2 of 10. The only good thing was the set pieces. Great workmanship. As bad as it was we suffered through it all. 

     Did I mention that the Onion visited us over the holidays? It was great to see her. She should achieve her BA by the end of next semester. 

     The Cookbook is finally done and has been passed on to my Lobster for editing. Now, it has to have the cover designed and a few bits added but essentially it is done.  I'll probably price it out at $14.95 USD. Look for How to Cook your way Out of a Wet Paper Bag. 

31 Dec 23

15:30 hrs

     The kitchen at the Wayward Inn is in full swing. Two salads,  Brazilian monkey bread, Korean short ribs, chicken stickits,  homemade chicken fingers, spicy bbq prawns and snacks. We have less than two hours before the guests arrive. Our Sr. Couch Monkey has picked up is Beloved and brought her here but he's taking off to play DnD with his buddies leaving us to feed and entertain her. He promises to be home by midnight  If I have to finish every plate I will ensure there is nothing left for him just because he's being a dumbass. Prove me wrong!

     We have had no snow on the ground in the Valley. A fair bit is up on the Beauforts. Not a ton, mind you. And I'm not sure how much is on the ski slopes, not that I care. But, we did see a foursome playing with their balls on the Jewelled Links. I'm pretty sure there are a lot of golfers who are enjoying the extended season. 

     I don't know what the coming year will bring. One can only hope that the Tangerine Tyrant will loose his empire and be imprisoned, that Putin wil have his forces crushed in Ukraine and Navalny will be released, that Hamas is destroyed but Israel learns to share the space and finally, that a bounty be placed on all paparazzi!

     Happy New Year All!