2000 Words

27 Apr 18
21:30 hrs

     I believe that on one of my pages or maybe even on this blog I had mentioned that Stephen King had stated that to be a writer - a professional writer- the individual must be prepared to hammer out a minimum of two thousand words a day until the time is complete. Two thousand bloody words. If you had nothing else to do in your life it would still be tough. I think the reason why King's books get longer and longer and longer is he gets lost inside the never ending world of his own tomes with no exit strategy. If you have read Patterson or Baldacci you will notice that their books are built on much smaller chapters - 2, 5 or 10 pages in length. Oh, they're still writing two thousand pages but they are doing it in writing three or four books at the same time and that is why they are so prolific. It's either that or they have a whack of ghost writers. It's your choice.

     Here at the Wayward Inn I have been slogging through my own projects. Wood Knocks and Tossed Rocks was completed several years ago and shortly after its release I began to take down notes for So There I was...Tales from the Flight Line. After four years of knuckle dragging research and a writing skill that is best described as frantic hunting and pecking it is in the final editing. As soon as Simon Sez is done pointing out my mistakes I'll make the corrections then package it up for formatting and uploading to Amazon.

     Not to be a lay-about I have continued with my next endeavor, "Who let the goats out?" and I have another, a more personal work, Things I learned from Dad (and Mom too) that is slowly percolating on the far back burner too.

     On another note, the Jr. Loin Fruit got to play hookey from school today by having oral surgery. Three wisdom teeth were yanked out of his noggin. He's got some heavy duty meds but I doubt if he'll be on them long. Strong constitution.

28 Apr 18
08:30 hrs.

     The weekend appears to be cooling off with overcast clouds and possible drizzle. I think that this will be great. We had lots of heat this past week. While refilling my coffee cup this morning, and while yacking with my Sis-in-Law, I looked out through the kitchen window to see the first three blossoms on our verigated apple tree. My Sis-in-Law didn't respond. She lives in the Golden Horseshoe where winter left about ten days ago. Oh well.

     Faced with spending a shit pot full of cash on driving lights for the Ram I decided to pick up a set from Crappy Tire. Nothing spectacular because all I really wanted are fog lights not driving lights. So, I do not need the laser like blackest of night piercing LED lights but I could not find fog lights. I did find a pair of 3 x 6 halogens for $40. I picked up a set of white LED strip lights to use as map lights  because the RAM is so stock it has no map lights. I had to pick up a switch set as well because the little push to test button is just that a push to test. If you need the light to stay on you would have to hold down the damn button. So, I picked up a rocker switch for it as well. I don't know when I'll have a chance to mount all of this on the Ram.  Maybe next week in the evenings. I doubt if the Loin Fruits will assist.  If it isn't digital they don't want to know. I really hate to tell them this but reality is not digital abd I would love to see their faces when they realize it.

17:00 hrs.

     This afternoon my Lobster and I did some running around. Insurance for the Couch Monkeys vehicle, bolts for the lighting project on the Ram,  a shopping trip to a plant nursery,  a drop in to see the Brits and a clandestine road side purchase of a hand crank coffee grinder. Something that the Big Swede should use for his Goat shit coffee when we're Out in the Weeds. But he'll have get his own as mine is staying at the Wayward Inn.

     One of the places we had go to was a large strip mall complex. You would think that the designers of these shopping locations, the architects and such, would look at all the types of vehicles being driven in the area and plan the parking lot accordingly. Here in the Valley, where there are a large number of large trucks, you would think the parking lots and the actual parking spaces would be created with this in mind. Not a fucking chance. I must admit though, that there are a large number of large truck and over-sized truck drivers who are just a bunch of lazy pricks. Whenever I have to attend one of these poorly designed vehicular catchments I always park the hell away from everyone else because I don't want the Ram scratched, dented or blocked in. Additionally, I don't want to scratch, dent or block anyone else.

     My Better Half pointed out to me that some motorcyclist was hospitalized after a dog ran out on the road. The dog, a yellow lab died. It took place in my jurisdiction and I wonder if ICBC will be contacting us to see if the dog had been loose before. The dog's owner could be liable for the accident. I'll keep you posted.
    

Who the hell are these guys?

25 Apr 18
05:55 hrs

     Unless you are living in a cave you would have heard of the the latest tragedy to befall the Great White North. Just a couple of days ago in the middle of the day an adult male drove a white panel van onto a crowded sidewalk killing ten and injuring fifteen others. When the individual was apprehended (he appeared to be armed in the news footage) he wanted the police officer to shoot him (suicide by cop).

     The two Loin Fruits asked me why didn't the officer just shoot the guy. The only rational answers that I could come up are:

1)   If the perp was motivated by ideology his death may have turned him into a martyr that could spurn on others.

2)   The officer is not a judge. Nor is a jury and, in Canada, he is not an executioner so unless his life was in danger (technically it was if, as reported, the perp was armed) he could not kill the guy. Despite what you see in the movies police are not trained to shoot to wound. The target is the centre of mass which is the chest area and once you start putting 9mm holes in it there is no turning back. Note that if this had happened South of the 49th Parallel the guy would have looked like Swiss Cheese by the time the police had finished with him.

     So, why did he do it?

     It seems that this nut bar had no luck with the girls. The new term is incel, which means involuntary celibate. All the women he met didn't want him they wanted the other guy. These guys and girls were referred to as Chad & Stacey. So, because all the Sraceys rejected him leaving all the Chads to get all the Staceys  this loser decides to take it out on the public at large. And this rejection is not about relationships it's about sex. My Jr. Couch Monkey has heard of these clowns too. He told me of guys his age that are pissed that a girl won't have sex with him just because he holds the door open for them or helps them with homework or whatever. Somebody had better start educating these little turds on the facts of life before we have more incidents like that in the Golden Horseshoe.

For those of you...

20 Apr 18
15:55 hrs

     Good Afternoon Dear Readers!

     For those of you still stuck in the frozen wasteland that still grips the majority of the Great White North you should know that here on the Left Coast the cherry blossoms are already starting to fall. There is a large big leaf maple tree in our neighbours yard and yesterday it was so nice and warm that you could almost see the leaves unfurling. If you've never seen a big leaf maple they tend to grow in wet cool swampy places here on the Left Coast. Their leaves can be the size of a dinner plate. From the kitchen window at the Wayward Inn you can see the Saskatoon berry bushes that we planted last year. They too are pushing out new growth. Now, if you have never had a Saskatoon berry pie I truly feel sorry for you. For those of us who have enjoyed this dessert it is a delight. In fact, I would give my Sr. Loin Fruit's right arm for a Saskatoon berry pie. I doubt that after this season we will have enough berries for a pie but they will be great on ice cream.

     Elric the Stalwart and his Better Half will be attending the Wayward Inn for dinner and some games. It's been a while since we've done that. Chef Irene wants to put together a egg plant and zucchini lasagna. We've made it before and it is pretty damn good. Tonight, we will be heading to the Church Street Bakery for a  couple of wood fired pizzas. It's a late celebration for our Jr. Couch Monkey's birthday.

18:05 hrs

     Supper is done. The five of us, the Jr. Loin Fruit's Main Squeeze was with us, enjoyed two wood-fire pizzas, drinks ( ales and sodas) and a dessert. Something was missing though and that would be a thank you from the Main Squeeze. And this is not the first time, where what should be, the proper etiquette has not been offered. Maybe I missed it. Maybe the thank you given by the Jr. Couch Monkey was meant for both of them. I heard his. Hell, she heard his. I also heard my Better Half's and the Sr. Loin Fruit's gratitude for picking up the tab but I did not hear hers. This will irk me for some time.

     It's one of those little things. The pleasantries that makes life easier as opposed to the burr under the saddle blanket that rubs you the wrong way for the entire ride. Call it a pet peeve if you will. Like people using an "Oh" in place of a "zero". There are no "Ohs" in a phone number! If your phone number is 604-820-3009 it is pronounced as six zero four eight two zero three zero zero nine. It is not six oh four eight two oh three oh oh nine. And did you ever notice that the low brows mispronouncing their digits will only use the oh if it's in the middle and not if it's at the start or at the end. This would make it sound like this: six oh four eight two zero three oh oh nine. Such poor language skills drives me crazy.

21 Apr 18
07:35 hrs

     It looks like it will be a gorgeous day here in the Valley. I really should be out chasing puppies but I've used up all my hours this week, unless I get called out of course. I don't think I've talked much about my employment and I can't really as it it is out in tbe public eye. This also means that you can do a great job and receive a ton of accolades (aka Attaboys) but if one there is but one complaint (aka Ahshit) you are in tbe frickin dog house. But, I love the job. I work pretty much on my own, travelling the length and breadth of the District, helping people and sorting out their animal control issues. I think I do a good job. Those who I help think I do a great job. But, in any job you cannot please everyone. Someone will always  complain and that complaint will shoot straight to the top of the heap where it will turn into a ball of shit that will grow as it tumbles down hill to land on me. If my managers had any clue as to what my job entails they would step up and hear both sides before rendering a decision. Nope! In their myopic view, the complainant is always right regardless of the facts. The result is I am treading lightly, not extending myself and deferring anything and nearly every little thing for my managers decision. Eventually, I hope,  they will get tired of it and let me do my fucking job.

     This coming week the Mobile Wayward Inn will be de-winterized in the hope of getting out this weekend. I have to get the boat ready to go fishing with my buddy From Over the Hump. I don't think I even got out last year. The amount of taxes I'm paying does not indicate that I am semi retired. I am earning just about the same amount as I did in 2003 but with nowhere near the amount of time off to do stuff.

     It's a double edged sword for a lot of people. Working gives you a wage. Wages gives you food, security and other things but at the same time - Money isn't everything. If you are constantly working and cannot have something for yourself do something creative for yourself. You can be the wealthiest person on the block and still burn out from working yourself into an empty shell.

Useless

12 Apr 18
22:00 hrs

     Have you read the local birdcage liner lately? Probably not. Nobody really reads a small town local newspaper anymore. Now, I happen to enjoy a good article that is insightful and incendiary. You know, something that gets you all fired up. I particularly like the musings of Christine Blatchford in the National Post. When that particular paper first came on the scene she was writing about Colin Thatcher, a prominent Saskatchewan businessman and politician. A great many people had forgotten the story of his rise to fame and the infamy of his wife's brutal murder. It's chronicled in the book, A Canadian Tragedy.

     The point is the local scandal sheet has gotten to be so thin on substance that if it wasn't for the obits I wouldn't bother to read it at all. It is published twice a week and there are flyers in both issues. It has become more of a flyer "vehicle" than a local paper. Do we need our local scandal rag? I think we do but I wish the writers and editors would find a local interest hook that will have the residents actually reading the paper. All we do now is look at the flyers and toss the paper.

     This just in...Paul Bernardo charge with weapon possession. So, Paul got caught with shiv. Big deal. Will they add more jail time to his already never ending sentence? Big deal. Take away some priveledges? That might hurt him.

     Some of you Dear Readers may not remember who Mr. Bernardo is. Let me refresh your memory. Bernardo and his wife were charged with the drugging, raping and killing of several young girls. The prosecutions case was thin until the wife cut a deal for a reduced sentence and informed the Crown where the video evidence was hidden. Nails in the coffin. Bernardo was swiftly convicted abd incarcerated.  So heinous was his crimes that he was placed in the protected custody wing of the prison where his moves are monitored 24/7/365. After about eight years he started complain that he had didn't like the conditions he was in, there is a portion of his cell that is not covered by cctv. Corrections Canada responded that if he wanted it they would relocate him to General Population, where his life would be permanently shortened. (Just a side note - Bernardo and disgraced CFB Trenton base commander Russell Williams who was convicted of being a sexual predator and murderer, had attended the same college and shared several classes together. Both indicate they did not know one another.)

     The weather here in the Valley has been just miserable. Not as miserable as in the Nation's Capital or in the Golden Horseshoe where they are being subjected to freezing rain and snow. Looks good on them. Just as long as they don't want to move West I'm happy.

     This past week I've been babysitting contractors working on the new Fixed Wing SAR training centre. If you've been following along Dear Readers you know my feelings on the choice of which aircraft was finally selected to replace the venerable CC-115 Buffalo.  A more detailed analysis is contained in my new book: "So There I was. ..Tales from the Flight Line". It's still being edited but hopefully it will be out before I head Out in the Weeds this fall. I'm sure some of the attendees will want a copy along with Wood Knocks and Tossed Rocks.

     My Lobster and I are going to see Ready Player One this evening. Before seeing the movie, I highly recommend that you read the book first. Our Junior Couch Monkey went to see it last week with the BOM. Under pain of severe penalties he refrained from giving up any spoilers. Tomorrow, regardless of the weather, we are heading off Island for a date day. 

    

Check Please!

07 Apr 18
21:45 hrs

      It was a pissy rainy evening so my Lobster and I, plus the senior Loin Fruit, decided to go out for supper. The Junior Loin Fruit as not in attendance as he was over visiting the Main Squeeze who lives on the other side of the Hundred Acre Wood. We researched several places and originally Couch Monkey Number Two and his Main Squeeze were going to be coming with which meant running all the way out to the Hundred Acre Wood and all the way back into town to dine. Of course, the process would have to be reversed just to get his Main Squeeze back home. After some deliberation Loin Fruit Number Two declined to join us. This simple act doubled our dining opportunities as the Sr. Couch Monkey is of legal age.

     My Lobster started calling some of the better dining establishments that we had not been too in a while. All booked up at one and another we learned is now permanently closed as the owner/manager decided to retire. This sparked an idea to blog about the status of our restaurants here in the Valley.

     We have the usual fast food joints. Mickey-Dees (three locations), Wendy's, Domino's, a Pizza Hut (take out only location). We had a Burger King but just last week it was permanently shuttered due to on going health issues (go figure). There are a number of mom and pop neighbourhood pizza joints which are good for the neighborhood and that's about it. There are so many sushi places in the Valley that I really am amazed that they can stay afloat. Again, like the pizza joints, some are fast food style, some are really good and some are crap.

     We had an Applebee's for about a year. Don't know how much the franchise licence cost the guy but it was probably pretty high. And obviously Applebee's knows nothing about the Valley. A year after it opened Applebee's pulled out because the profits weren't high enough. The franchisee changed names and kept going for about 18 months but without the corporate support and the high rent he had to close up shop too.

     There are some higher end places that are very consistent in their service and their product. It is pricey but you get what you pay for.

     And yet the old A&W restaurant is still hanging in there. The only real customers are all the nostalgia freaks with their Custom Cruisers. The restaurant itself has been in need of a make over since 1990. The bathroom probably hasn't been cleaned since then either. Grungy tile grouting just the start of it. I'm sure the kitchen is quite similar.

     We do have a lot of pubs in the Valley. We're a small drinking community with a fishing problem. Not pubs have good food. Check with a local.

Spring has arrived

02 Apr 18
08:30 hrs

     Yes, spring is here. If anyone really cares. This has been a real crappy Easter weekend too. I think one of the Sages, who is under the weather, has been utilizing the Voodoo dolls just a little too much because yours truly got whacked with just enough of the man cold to make me feel miserable. My problem was to turn my illness inward and not out toward my family members despite them poking fun at me.

      There are some things to do around the Wayward Inn. I have at least one sprinkler head to replace and a couple of wind chimes to repair. We like wind chimes at the Wayward Inn.  Especially, if they annoy the Albertans on the other side of the fence.

03 Apr 18
06:00 hrs

     I am still feeling the effects of this chest cold. My Lobster says that I am over medicating myself. I disagree. I am taking just enough for me to knock myself out so my breezy wheezing does not wake me up. I can actually hear the air whistling through my lungs. Not good.

     The Sages are back home where they belong. Their trip to Cowtown was marred with ill health and punctuated with -19C temperatures coupled with snow. I hope they learned their lesson.

     My Better Half and I lost some ground over the holidays simply because we were not as diligent as we should have been. Snacks and second portions have shaved off the ground that we gained. Our efforts will be doubled to achieve our goals.

     It's back to the grind for 3/4 of the Wayward Inn. The Sr. Couch Monkey is hard at work in his new position - he even has a parking pass, my Better Half is heading back to the trenches and I will head out to keep the parks and streets safe for our canine friends. That leaves tbe Jr. Couch Monkey home alone. But, he will have a list of chores just to keep his ass busy.

22:45 hrs

     This illness has crept into my lungs. I'm hoping it doesn't turn into pneumonia. I had that once before. Pretty scary. But for now I'm out on the lazy boy so my Lobster can get some rest.

A wee bit of a Rant!

28 Mar 18
06:15 hrs

     A former co-worker who stubbornly remains living out on the frozen prairie has recently - and joyously I might add - stated that there is a new pro hockey team in Seattle, which could be named the the Seattle Kraken.  Of course, there will be a plethora of nubes who will pronounce it with a long "A" sound as in the word "brake".

     My point is that the last thing we, in North America, need is another bloody pro sports team. Did you know that for a new NHL franchise team to buy into the league they have to pony up $500 million dollars. And that is in USD. Can you imagine what good things can be done with that money? The world can be far better off with more clean water sources for Third World countries than another bunch of testosterone laden muscle men chasing a piece of rubber on a slippery surface. Don't get me wrong. I like sports of all kinds. I may not play a lot of them. But, I like them.

     The rant is over.

29 Mar 18
07:15 hrs

     Yes, this is a holiday weekend. For those of you who are Christian or Jewish it is an important time for renewal and rebirth. A great number of the Millenial generation probably has no clue as to the reason for this holiday. For them it's just a nice long weekend.

     The Sages were planning on going to Cowtown to see my L'il Sis and other relatives. They were delayed by a day but I think they pressed on. The Weather Channel was calling for freezing drizzle in the area. Easter is never a good time to travel over the mountain passes going east or west. With a simple change in elevation rain can turn to ice and snow then back again quite easily.

30 Mar 18
08:45 hrs

     I just talked to Li'l Sis and she informed me that the Sages made it to Cowtown. They are for going visiting one of the relatives due to I'll health. Of course, the old adage of calling someone to let them know you are safe after a long trip does not apply to them. I suppose they believe that no one would worry or notice. At this end we had no way of knowing if they were home, in Cowtown, trapped by a avalanche in The Pass or over a bloody cliff. Hey Sage's. ..how about following your own advice!

     Li'l Sis has two new feline fur balls and only one of the Sages has any time for them. Naturally, the fur balls are trying to convince the other Sage that they are cute and cuddly. This situation has made me realize that all cats belong to the Jehovah Witness faith because they purposely seek out those who are farthest from acceptance and try to convince them otherwise. How's that for a radically clear idea?

     We were planning on having our friends over for an Easter get together but two are not well. Age is catching up to them. Chef Blaine is still going to prepare a roast  done on the Flame Pit and a Cuban dessert. Sous Irene has prepped a side already. We'll take a couple of plates over to them. It's the right thing to do.

     I told my Lobster that I love her and that she keeps me young. After a long soulful look,  she replied, I guess I'm not doing such a good job."

     I'm still waiting for the last instalment of "So There I was" to be edited but in the meantime I am working on "Who let the Goats out". Never a dull moment at the Wayward Inn.