A Blogging we will go...

11 Apr 20

14:45 hrs

     On this date, fifty-five years ago, the Oma-nator, her Better Half and the Voodoo Priestess of the Golden Horseshoe (she was but a wee babe then) arrived in the Great White North from across the pond. 

     Yesterday, while I was in the salt mine, my Lobster directed the two Couch Monkeys in doing a little yardwork at the Wayward Inn. As a result of their actions I now have series of divots that could swallow a cat and in case a horde of army ants swarms across the yard they will have to span the moats surrounding the the paving stones.

12 Apr 20

07:00 hrs

     The Wayward Inn is quiet. Except for the Oma-nator. I can hear her in her princess suite. She's still asleep but I can hear her. The Jr. Loin Fruit asked me yesterday if I had ever just sat and did nothing. I think it was another of his nonbinding social higher plane existential questions to which he already knows the prescribed answer. 

   

     "Sure. I've just sat and read a book. Or, people watched on a beach. Your mom and loved doing that on our vacation to Big Sugar Island."

     "Ah, but then you were not doing nothing. You were doing something. You were reading or people watching."

      What the hell does this kid want from me? Or is he trying to teach me something? Well, this old dog is too old to learn new tricks. It's not that I can't learn new tricks it's that I don't want to learn new tricks. Maybe he's trying to show me the path to better enlightenment to ease my conciousness. Hell, I'm closer to the graveside than the curbside and all I'm trying to do is milk as much enjoyment out of this plane of enlightenment as I possibly can before I'm gone.

     Yesterday Chef Blaine smoked another turkey. This was for Easter. Sous Irene made schwarties hashbrowns and carrot. Homemade savoury stuffing - sans onions for the Oma-nator - was also made. I'm going to ask Chef Blaine not to cook anymore smoked turkeys unless we have a full house. I want enough people at the table to have no leftover turkey. That doesn't mean I don't want him to use the smoker. Far from it. Eating supposedly carcinogenic foods is what I enjoy so I'll ask him to make some smoked brisket or maybe some char sui pork.

13 Apr 20

06:30 hrs

     Some late night messages coming from the Tangerine Tyrant indicates that he is growing increasingly frustrated that the Hugh-ess economy has tanked. Despite everyone's objections he wants to kick his country back to work and as usual he is thinking about punting out those who disagree with his unfounded statements (lies). His current target is none other than the infectious disease medical expert whose sound advice has saved lives while running directly opposite to the Tangerine Tyrant's. 

     This just in...a large number of seniors in a long term care facility in la Belle Provence have been found dead as the care workers walked away abandoning their charges. I would believe that would be murder, would it not? Round them up and get a rope.

     Some of my go to places for shopping places are no longer open for walk in service, Crappy Tire is one of them. Purchases can now be made on line or over the phone with self pickup or home delivery available. Looking at some items that I had my eye on, in case they went on sale, I see that they are no longer on the shelf. Some of these items could be considered to be tools for gathering sustenance in a quiet manner - as to not disturb your neighbours. If you think I'm wrong then take a look in the grocery stores. People are sticking with the basics and they are stocking up when they shouldn't have to. I would strongly suggest that if a person is going to acquire more foods than one can use immediately then that person should learn how to preserve the excess for long term storage - other than freezing - and that includes foods grown or harvested.

15 Apr 20

05:45 hrs

     Yesterday I braved the lineup at The Biggest Box Store for all the necessary bulk supplies. I got there at 09:30 hrs and the que was already wrapped around to the rear of the building by the dumpsters. At least it was in the shade. With only 125 customers being allowed in at a time it was about 45 minutes before I got through the doors. There were extra staff inside designated to monitor the physical distancing of the customers. Kinda reminded me of the Frat Police that separated boys and girls at school dances.

     My Lobster informed me that the Tangerine Tyrant has now pulled support from the WHO because...? Because, he's a fricken idiot, citing an inequality between what the Hugh-ess gives to the WHO and what they recieve from the WHO. I swear that he acts just like a little brat in a school yard kicking the sand box when he doesn't get his way. He needs a good slap upside the head. Don't spank him though because I heard he likes that kinda thing.

     The Great White North Broadcasting Corp. has revealed that privately owned senior care homes on Ontari-ari-ari-oh have had less government oversight (regulations and inspections) since Dougie the Hash Dealer came to power. The reduction was brought about by the industry lobby groups and owners who petitioned the government to remove the controls. One of these owner/board chairs is none other that former premier Harris who heads up the Chartwell group. The current provincial government has suddenly realized that this is not a good thing as a number of these facilities have seen Beer Flu deaths in the double digits. Are these deaths from the lack of lack of onsite cleaning/sterilization procedures or is it from the staff who have to work at multiple facilities just to earn a living wage. Maybe both. But since Dougie the Hash Dealer allowed the reduction in government oversight I lay alot of those nursing home deaths at his feet. 

     The question is this: a facility where you have a large number of residents - nee patients - who have a wide range of medical ailments and who are extremely susceptible to any kind of minor infection, which could quite easily be considered to be a hospital as it is a privately owned seniors care home, why would you allow the health maintenance standards to lax in the for profit facility? Simply that, to allow f profits to increase when costs are reduced. Except the costs now include the early deaths of those in your care.

     On that note I'll sign off.

It's going to get really scary really fast!

31 Mar 20

07:00 hrs

     All kidding aside Kidlettes, the projections about this Beer Flu is far worse than what had been expected. The egg heads who can figure this crap out have said that by August there could be 82,000 people dead in the Hugh-ess. This number may sound crazy but the dead is supposed to be piling up at a rate of 2,000 a day by mid April. The You-All Powers That Be are now beginning to be concerned about the security of their national food supply. Of course this is playing right into the hands of the preppers. 

     Now, I think that there are two kinds of preppers. You've got your Right-wing anti-government NRA hillbilly with enough guns, ammo and food buried in his underground vault and to survive the apocalypse the only thing he has yet to secure is a breeding population that is not on four legs. The other kind of prepper is the guy who may or may not own firearms but he knows how to use one. He knows how to build a fire, a shelter, can perform first aid, can procure food. He can look after his family and those who need assistance. (I'm using the term "he" but "she" can be substituted at any point.)

17:00 hrs

     The Oma-nator went for a walk today - with her walker of course - all by herself. She just announced that she was going for a walk, got dressed and headed out. I'm pretty proud of her. I'm also proud of my Jr. Loin Fruit who smelled something a bit odd coming from the drain in his sink. So, after asking for directions he dismantled the drain, cleaned and reassembled it all by himself. Hell, he's almost 20 years old. There maybe some hope for the world after all. Now, if he'll harvest and clean some small game for the larder then I'll really be impressed.

01 Apr 20

07:30 hrs

     Today is the 37th anniversary of the greatest April Fool's prank I ever committed. It was so well planned that a portion of my home town was rooked as well to the point that five years later people were still falling for it. Maybe, someday when you and I are sitting around a campfire having a beer I'll tell you about it.

     I'm just finishing watching a movie on Netflix called Taking Lives. It stars Angelina Jolie and is filmed in Montreal.. don't let the rating fool you its pretty damn good.

     Its Eggs Benny Day at the Wayward Inn and then Chef Blaine, with the assistance of Sous Irene, will make some curried lentils for supper. They're going to take some food over to the Onion who has been having a pretty rough go of it lately. It's the right thing to do.

     Yesterday, I had a call from a squatchin buddy of mine. Last year we had a bit of a falling out and he called to apologize for his actions. He said that our friendship was more important that petty differences of opinion. 

     We've been doing some spring cleaning at the Wayward Inn. I've pressure washed the front and back seating areas and the chairs have been put out. I noticed that my solar lights around the Flame Pit are not working so I may have to replace them too.

     Take care of yourself and others near you.  Stay home and stay safe.

Doing what's right!

29 Mar 20

06:35 hrs

     At about this time yesterday my Lobster and I headed off in the Ram. We were going south to Capital City to collect our Jr. Loin Fruit from university. Due to the Beer Flu the students were punted out. He was the last person in his dorm to leave and when we arrived he had his stuff all ready to go. The round trip of nearly 600 km took almost six hours and that included stopping for food and the time it took to load the Ram with his belongings.  Fuel used was 13.2 L/100 km. Again, not bad considering the fact I was moving at a buck twenty most of the way.

     Late last night I received a video call from a former Brother in Arms. I know that he has had a very rough go of it with three family members passing in just a couple of years. I'm telling ya this guy has been ripped apart. Seeing his pain, I told him that if he ever wanted to just shoot the breeze that I'd be there to listen. Sure enough he called me. Because of the late hour my Lobster sent me out to the garage to handle the call. It was great to see him - it was a video call - and we talked for nearly an hour. We didn't say much as he was a couple sheets to the wind and I was tired but now he knows that I am here for him.

     This brings up a point Dear Reader,  if you know of someone who has had a rough go or is struggling now because of the Beer Flu situation I would like to think that you will do the right thing! It may be checking in on an elderly friend to see if they need groceries - maybe you can pick up some frozen dinners or something - or a neighbour who needs their pet watched  or doing any little thing that can help someone without putting yourself at risk then bloody well do it!

A Quick Trip...

19 Mar 20

11:30 hrs

     I'm sitting the Valley's air terminal. This Beer Flu shit has everyone on edge. In The Old World, The Boot has recorded over 41k case of infection and the mortality rate is 8.3%. Now, that's some scary shit. In this province, the Redneck province next door and others the schools, from K to 12 and post-secondary, are now closed until next year. Restaurants are only doing take out or delivery. Store shelves are emptying as manufacturers have reduced staff or closed. In other words the shit on the shelf isn't there because its not being made.

     My flight was unexpectedly altered two days ago. I was scheduled to depart on the first flight which would have put me into the Nation's Capital at mid day. Nope, due to the lack of interest on the part of the flying public, I was moved to the noon departure arriving in the Nation's Capital after midnight and after a 4 hour delay in Cowtown. I hope a bar is open.

15:22 hrs

     There is an open bar at YYC. And they serve food too. Praise the Almighty!

     This Beer Flu has a lot of people walking thru the terminal with masks on. Me? Not as concerned but I coughed a couple of times on the plane and I swear they were going to toss me into baggage. I got three hours to burn here and the departure gate is at the other side of this section of the terminal. My Lobster had commented that flying on our favourite air carrier, the western one not the national one which happens to allow for a 25% of misplaced/lost luggage per flight, used to be great when coming into YYC one central hub with washrooms and a food court near by. But now the depature gates for this air carrier are spread all over Hell's Half Acre.

16:46 hrs

     Mmmm...shredded short rib with melted provolone on a crisp flatbread topped with fresh arugula, pickled onions and drizzled with thick balsamic vinegar. A quick feast washed down with an IPA. I board in an hour for the Nation's Capital. I have a sandwich in reserve as I'll need my strength when I arrive.

17:25 hrs 

     It should be noted that the prescribed self isolation is nothing new. Since the advent of the smart phone people of a walks and a shapes and sizes have been self isolating. Just turn on the phone. Plug in the bluetooth earbuds and then look about with a blank look on your face when anyone talks to you. Currently, there is a lady sitting across from me with a pair of gold running shoes on. That's right gold. Gold lace, tongue, eyelets, aglets, sides and toe. The only thing not gold is the sole of the shoe. I have never seen shoes like that and I stated, "Nice shoes." I know she saw my lips moving but with the Airbuds plugged into both sides of her head I might as well have been a fluttering chip bag. In fact,  she probably would have responded if I was.

22:00 hrs

     I'm in the air. I don't know where I am in relation to points on the ground. It's still just over an hour before we land so I figure we're probably over The 'Peg. If so well be banking to the right soon, over the Lakehead and down to the Nation's Capital. 

      The flight us about 3/4 full. I lucked in with an aisle seat that my Lobster selected with no one beside me. What I do have is a barking dog and two squawking kids who are being entertained two gloved and medically masked Amah's. Normally, I sleep on aircraft or anywhere else when I'm tired and decorum will not allow me to admonish them. I'm not saying that the little hat-box with legs shouldbe allowed on board. It is in it's soft sided crate but it should been fed a nyquil soaked milk bone. Night Night Fido. Same goes for the two contagion prepped Couch Monkeys. A couple of nyquil lollipops and the cabin when be quiet. So, instead of getting some well needed shut eye I'm blogging to you Dear Readers so you had better appreciate it.

     Another hour to go. We'll start descending soon from our current altitude of 35k feet. My barometric altimeter reads 2208 meters but that's just the cabin pressure. Its time for some Floyd. Or shall we dare ...some Hemispheres? 

20 Mar 20 

08:30 hrs

     Breakfast at the Oma-nator's apartment was a pair of hotdogs, avec mustard and onions, and a whole pot of espresso. I am good to go.

21 Mar 20

10:30 hrs

     Yesterday I repaired a leaky faucet to the best of my ability while my Better Half and  the Oma-nator finished tidying and, sorting and cleaning and tossing out crap. This is good because time is running out and a prospective buyer may be viewing the condo before it goes on the market. Wouldn't it be grand if it sold before we went back to the Left Coast? 

     It's clear and sunny out. Cold too. Yesterday the temperature reached 17C

 Today its -9C and windy.

     We were supposed to be seeing relatives for the long goodbyes because the vast majority of them will never be out to the Wayward  Inn because  they are either too elderly to travel or too wrapped up running on their big city hamster wheels. Oh, they'll still go on vacation to warm sandy beaches with catered meals. But, when offered the chance to dodge the chilly rat race it's a NO GO! So be it. The urban stress will eradicate them.

11:30 hrs

     We're hiding in the hunter blind that is the guest room on the Lobby floor. The Oma-nator and my Lobster have joined me. Mind you, I'm trying to nap. We're anticipating the arrival of the potential buyer. Fingers crossed that it's a go. One less anchor around our collective necks. 

     I took a look outside this morning and I realized that this, as with many cities in the Great White North,  is very ugly in the winter. Snow or no snow. Dirt and grime from sanding the streets covers almost everything. Disgusting. Local citizens shuffling, head down, no eye contact and no smiles. The place just sucks the life out of you.

12:45 hrs

     An offer has been proposed. I think it's a good offer. If there are no conditions I'd take it and run straight back.... to the Wayward Inn. It hasn't been presented yet as I'm sure the ink will still be drying on the paperwork. 

19:30 hrs

     The deal is struck. And it's a good offer with no conditions. As I said, take it and run all the way to the bank. In the meantime,  back in the home front,  it seems the Sr. Loin Fruit is having an issue with the self isolation guide lines that were strongly suggested as a response to the Beer Flu. Now, for someone who spends a lot of time online playing games having to physically keeping away from other hominids should not be an issue. The whole world will have learn to be alone for the next couple of months.It could be worse. In one Banana Republic if your house number ends in an odd number then one member is allowed to do errands on Tuesdays,  Thursdays and Saturday. If it's an even number its Monday, Wednesday and Friday. 

22 Mar 20

21:00 hrs

     It seems that some people across the Great White North are not practicing social distancing which can and will lead to more people getting infected with the Beer Flu. As a result different measures are being employed to educate the morons. Parks  playgrounds, beaches and other free public spaces are being closed, fines are being levied and in some places people are faced with being jailed if they continue to congregate. 

    And it's not just the individual moronic citizens that at risk but all of the health care professionals who are even more at risk. They will burn out and get sick too. That's why retired medical professionals are being asked to step up and come back to help. Crazy times.

23 Mar 20 

06:45 hrs

     I see the Tangerine Tyrant is spewing his verbal diarrhea again. The other day he claimed that the malaria drug chloroquine is effective against the Beer Flu. Immediately the chief doctor who is driving the bus against the epidemic said "Oh, no it isn't!" But this didn't stop pharmacists in Nigeria to jack the prices of chloroquine while pushing the rhetoric as the truth. Three Nigerians overdosed on chloroquine. 

     The movers will be here soon and I need to get a coffee and some groceries down my neck. 

24 Mar 20

07:15 hrs

     Yesterday the movers came and went. My sister in law,  the Voodoo Priestess from the Golden Horseshoe,  and her Lobster arrived in the Nation's Capital to aid in the dissolution of the Oma-nator's residence. By 21:00 hrs last night we were all pretty much spent. My Lobster and my Bro In Law punted my butt out at the airport just over an hour ago. This will be a three stage journey. The Nation's Capital to the Golden Horseshoe, from the Golden Horseshoe to Cowtown and after a five hour layover I will head to the Rock.     

     My Lobster, her sister and my Bro In Law will finish packing the rented van with the Oma-nator's dispersed remnants before driving to the Golden Horseshoe. It will be a four hour + road trip. The Oma-nator and my Better Half will spend two days there before flying west to home at the Wayward Inn. 

09:00 hrs

     I'm at the terminal in the Golden Horseshoe. I gave my Lobster a quick call and the Oma-nator's condo is just about swept clean. They'll be hitting the road and I'll be headed to Cowtown at about the same time. I think I'll beat them.

19:30 hrs

     I am home at the Wayward Inn! The Sr. Couch Monkey picked me up at the terminal. All was good. Coming over the rocks I spotted a river valley that looked vaguely familiar. The sight was confirmed when I looked farther north and saw the lake that the Sages live beside. Thirty minutes later we were on approach to the Valley.

     Be it ever so humble there is no place like home.

Etu Brute!

15 Mar 20

14:00 hrs

     Happy Ides of March! Beware of friends with sharp pointy things. Maybe Big Julie would have survived the day if he had self isolated. 

     The plans to close out the Oma-nator's place in the Nation's Capital is being altered due to the Beer Flu that has begun to shake the Great White North to its frozen core. Schools are closing, trains are shutting down and public gatherings are being curtailed.

16 Mar 20

04:30 hrs

     I awoke this morning to a message from another Brother in Arms that the Beer Flu has officially arrived here in the Valley. I haven't seen anything on the news as of yet but if he has more sources than I do and is really plugged into the pulse of the Valley. If this is the case, and I have no reason to doubt him, then all those shit ticket hoarders can now justify their stupidity.

     DON'T PANIC! JUST WASH YOUR FRICKIN HANDS & KEEP YOUR DISTANCE!

     My Lobster and I have altered our travel plans due to the Beer Flu. The side trip to la Belle Province is out. My journey to the Nation's Capital has been altered as has their return to the Valley. Her biggest worry is not that the Oma-nator will catch this bug but the transportation mode may be closed and then they will be stuck there for a couple more weeks. All she wants is to get the hell out of Dodge. Who can blame her.

Buzz Buzz Buzz

09 Mar 20

04:15 hrs

     Good Morning Dear Readers,

I am up and at 'em as my Lobster's alarm was sounding off just over an hour ago. I must have hit some stupid setting when I reset the clock for daylight saving time. You know, you try to do something nice for someone and all you get is two hours less sleep.

     I watched an interesting series on Netflix called Hunters. Holocaust survivors and their descendants hunting down Nazis who were purposely brought to the Hugh-ess (this really happened under Operation Paperclip - you can look it up). At the same time the relocated Germans are trying to create the Fourth Reich in the Hugh-ess. Al Pacino stars in a leading role and he does a great job. (I would really like to see Serpico again.) My co-worker, Buster, put me on to another series, The Man in the High Tower. It's a twist on history. Imagine if the Allies did not win WWII because the Nazis had developed their heavy water program first and had nuked the Hugh-ess. Set in the mid-60's the country was divided in half, much like Berlin was, with the Nazis occupying and controlling everything east if the Rockies and the Japanese empire holding everything else to the Left Coast. As with most You-All dystopian movies the Great White North doesn't even enter into it. I've seen three episodes and the screen writers have put a lot of small details that are very necessary to make this believable. It is surprising how many twisted history White Power movies and series on the Idiot Box. That's okay as long as the viewers realize that what they are watching is an authors conception of what could have been and not what should have been. I'm worried that the Tangerine Tyrant's Sycophants are taking these shows in as a template for their view of the world.

10 Mar 20

05:15 hrs

     The virus that is sweeping the globe has now infected 110,000 and killed 4,000. In the Old Country, The Olde Boot has told its citizens that travel between towns is no longer allowed unless it's an emergency. Yoi can stay at home or you can go to jail for three months. Here on the Left Coast some schools have temporarily closed if a person has shown to test positive for the virus. And the really weird thing about this new epidemic is that it has caused people to stockpile shit tickets. Now, I have not checked out the symptoms of the virus but maybe diarrhea is one of them and that's the reason reason people are hoarding ass wipe. It's either that or just sheer panic buying.

     Here's something... the Jaguar car manufacturer has won the World Car of the Year award for it's all electric vehicle in 2019. The new 2020 IPace model is currently selling for $89,995. I suppose even the Uber wealthy want to be environmentally conscious. 

     Meanwhile, in the Nation's Capital,  my Better Half has been progressing with the selling off the Oma-nator's belonging as there will be no room for all of her stuff at the Wayward Inn. My Lobster has been trying to limit the amount of stuff that is coming but her mom is resistant to the notion of donating the majority of it. It's not that the Oma-nator and her husband were hoarders (well, I thing he had a tinge of the collector gene in him) but people do gather items as time goes by. And, after eight decades of being on this Rock you can expect that one's nest to be fairly well feathered.

11 Mar 20

08:30 hrs

     I just spotted a starling. A European starling. A bird species that was brought to this side of the pond in the 19th Century by some clueless Shakespean nerdowells  who thought it would be nice to have the birds from home. These little buggers have few enemies and can swarm in the tens of thousands. When it comes to aircraft they can build nests in the tiniest of access holes in just minutes. These nests can and will jam flight controls, actuators and pressure sensors or switches. A documented account of an eradication attempt can be found in So There I was...Tales from the Flight Line. 

     I hate them.

Hold my beer!

03 Mar 20

14:30 hrs

     The Oma-nator and my Better Half are heading to the Nation's Capital to complete the move to the Wayward Inn. They'll have their work cut out for them. I'll be there to help out a couple weeks later with the Sr. Couch Monkey holding down the fort for a week.

     I'm sure you've heard of the corona virus that jumped from the Far East to the Middle East to this side of the pond. As the Tangerine Tyrant pontificated the Great White North had scientists in the Far East when this problem first erupted. The You-Alls did nothing. Now, His Orangness has stated that he has created a virus war room in the WH. Well, he would have to if he hadn't dismantled the one created by the former Prez when the big Ebola scare hit a half dozen or so years ago. Fricken moron! But to his acolytes this shows that he is on top of the shit pile.

04 Mar 20

06:15 hrs

     Yesterday was Super Tuesday in the Hugh-ess. The biggest Donkeystyle voting day to determine whi shall go against the Tangerine Tyrant. Big deal.

     Well, actually it is a big deal as the wrong candidate will just be carved up by the Ruskies and then swallowed whole by the Minions. It would seem that Benie is on the outside and the former VP will be in. This is good as Bernie represented too much change too fast at too great a cost. Not to mention his pro-Castro comments which revived the whole Socialism is Communism scare. It would seem that the You-All fear of the Red Menace will never die and yet the current POTUS is Putin's bitch.

     Earbuds or headphones? That is the current problem facing my Lobster. She will probably take the earbuds for the trip. Of course the Oma-nator keeps asking me what will we be eating while they are gone. As if Chef Blaine has no clue as to what to make. In a way she does have a point because last summer when my Lobster and the Oma-nator went to the Fatherland it didn't take long before the Jr. Loin Fruit to start complaining that we weren't eating any veggies. Well, onions and tomatoes are veggies - technically tomatoes are a fruit so what do you want for nothing. 

17:00 hrs

     Looks like this virus is really picking up speed in the Hugh-ess. Over 150 cases reported in sunny PlasticWood alone. Theme parks have been shuttered for weeks now and I bet that will be costly. And people are buying up supplies like crazy. The Voodoo Priestess in the Golden Horseshoe reports that there is no TP left at the big box stores. I picked up an extra package today just to be on safe side. Now, I'm sure this crap is eventually going to reach the Rock. Not to panic but following simple procedures will save lives. If you are really sick stay home or head out into the Weeds for a long walk at night where the beasts with great gnashing teeth will assist in stopping the spread of the virus. If you are running low on food look for rabbit colonies. Do you own a bow? I do. And I will take the appropriate measures to feed my family. 

04 Mar 2020

04:00 hrs

     I am awake. 

     The coffee is on.

     The Oma-nator and my Better Half are packed and ready to depart for the Nation's Capital.

     I'll be asleep in an hour.