Good Morning

04:25 hrs.
06 Nov 14

     Why am I awake? I should be deep in REM sleep snuggled up to my BETTER HALF! But noooooo! There are sounds that a person can detect, even when dead asleep, that will encourage them to get their ass out of bed and take care of business. It may be the sound of a door bell or a child suddenly coughing in the night or it could the sound of your pet depositing a hairball on laminate floor in your bedroom.

     The first thing you hear that strained reptative retching sound. Yaaachhk... yaaachk..... yaaaaaaaccchk. Which is followed by gluuuussj as a slimey tubular mass crawls out of your pet's mouth to begin its own life. Let me warn you that before you get out of bed to clean this up, which you have to because you cannot leave wet slimey things on a laminate floor, TURN ON A LIGHT! It does not matter if your spouse is going to give you hell for turning on the lamp, which she will, you are faced with two options. Option A is turn on a lamp risk her wrath but I won't step in it or.... There is no Option B.

     So, you turn on a light. You get up and get your cleaning supplies to collect,  disinfect and dispose of the mess in a quick hygienic manner during which the beast that created the problem is contentedly watching you not more than five feet away. "Thanks for tidying up for me. I would have helped but I don't have opposable thumbs."

     With the offensive mess now safely contained you return to your bed only to find that your side of the bed no longer exists. The orange beast has claimed part of it with your BETTER HALF is now sprawled diagonally across the matress with both of them trying to absorb any body heat you may have left behind.

     So, here I sit, blogging away in my Guinness trackies. Breakfast will be nutritious but unenterprising and unimpressive. Something with flakes and probably bran (getting older).

     Once again, we have guests coming to the WAYWARD INN. My friend from Over the Hump has business in the Valley to attend to early on Friday and it will be easier to stay overnight than drive the highway early in the morning. It will be a night of playing cards, telling tales and griping about the government. It should be a great night.